Forever And For Always, Chosen Hearts S8 Finale
by HDorothy
Summary: Fifth messes with Jack and Sam's memories and jeopardizes their last chance for happiness. Anubis is back and Daniel's gone Ancient. . .again.


Title: Forever And For Always! - Novel - Chosen Hearts Series-S8

Author: HailDorothy aka HDorothy

Category: Romance/Humor/Angst

Warnings: Sexual content

Pairing: Jack/Sam

Others: Teal'c, Daniel, Cassandra, Jacob Carter

Spoilers: Pre-Season-1 – S8 – Threads 818, Moebius 1&2 - 819, 820

Content Level: T

Author's Notes: Please read _'Branded Hearts'_ first.

Story Summary: Fifth and Replicarter mess with Jack and Sam's memories, while the climatic events at the SGC including Anubis' threat to invade Earth, jeopardizes any chance of happiness for Jack and Sam. PS: This may be the end of S8, but the series continues, watch for S9.

File Size: 868KB

Archived: Jackfic, GateWorld, SJfic, Heliopolis, Fan Fiction. My site, just ask.

**Dedicated: to all the shippers who have read this series from its conception and continue to encourage me to keep the fire burning between Jack and Sam as Chosen Hearts. **

**Special Dedication: to Rick and Amanda. Without your generous shippy hearts the enduring characters of Jack and Sam would never have their happily, Forever And For Always! **

Songs: _'Where Do Broken Hearts Go?_' Whitney Houston, Greatest Hits. Lyrics: F. Wildhorn, C. Jackson 1987©, _'It's Getting Better All the Time,' - The _Greatest Hits Collection II - BMG/Arista - Brooks and Dunn©. '_She'll Hear You,_' Ben Jelen©. '_Let Me Tell You'_ – KC And The Sunshine Band©. '_What I Did For Love',_ – Jonny Mathis©. '_Take Good Care Of My Baby'_ – Bobby Vinton©. '_It's Getting Better Every Day' –_ Mama Cass Elliot©. '_You Should Hear'_ – Melissa Manchester - Tom Snow/Dean Pitchford©. '_Put Your Head On My Shoulder'_ – Paul Anka©. '_Forever and For Always,' _Shania Twain©, '_Careless Heart_,' Roy Orbison ©1989, '_Mirror Mirror_,' Barlow Girls©2004

Series Summary: This is an established series in which Jack and Sam fell in love during Jack's retirement. When Jack is re-commissioned and Sam inadvertently assigned his subordinate, they pretend to be strangers and put their wannabe lover's relationship on hold. Little do they realize it will not be a matter of months, but years, before they can follow through on the desire of their hearts.

The series is not chronologically written, and begins with Jack and Sam's first romantic encounter to present SG-1 season whether S8, S9 or S10. Please read _'Charade'_ for setup of rest of, '_Chosen Hearts Series._' I have posted fics by season and episode. Other than the twists I've first introduced and a few along the way, this series is canon based.

_**Special thanks to: My girlfriends and betas Carol Sue and Dinkydow, you ladies, have the patience of saints and the hearts of true Jack/Sam shippers! **_

_**To Arnise/Mum who diligently keeps Jackfic afloat, maintains my Emerald Rose website and is a true blue Jack and Sam shipper. **_

_**Most importantly to the, Keeper of the Stars, for bequeathing me the gift of the bards and allowing me to glimpse His unconditional love through Jack's soul. **_

Disclaimer: All publicity recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This series includes script excerpts from the TV Series 'Stargate SG-1.' This fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks are intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of said author, HailDorothy 2005 ©.

Feedback: Gosh, darn, don't make me beg! Pretty Please? Starvation of this writer's muse is no pleasant sight. All feedback is food for thought and well digested. "Feed me Seymour!" (The Little Shop of Horrors)

PART 1 

_**CHAPTER ONE**_

HOOD WINKED! 'Sealed by a kiss.' 

_Seared in our essence_

_Sated in our blood_

_Forged in our hearts_

_His breath the air I breathe_

_His touch the cloak that warms me_

_Devil, do what you dare_

_Our love cannot be hoodwinked_

_All may not be as it seems—Beware!'_

With Jack's kiss branding her lips, heart, and mind Sam thought she'd sleep. She'd wanted to call him, to verify it had really happened. Her hot aching body assured her something amazingly miraculous happened between them tonight. Jack had sealed their love with a kiss, not just any kiss, his Ancient DNA had merged with hers and they were one forever. From here on nothing could divide them. Snuggling into the warm cocoon of his imagined embrace, Sam slept the best in ages, her dreams merging with those of her dream lover and of their future together.

These mortals were puppets in his hands. It would take seconds. _It _would come and be gone before _its _ship's presence was detected by their primitive technology.

Fifth stood beside Sam's bed watching her smile in her sleep and in her dream. Dreams _it _wished to be a part of. She would be _it's_ again. There was no doubt.

Months ago, Fifth had delved into her memories, foolishly _it'd_ taken on the image of the man who she'd shared recent intimate experiences with, Pete somebody . . .Fifth had even recreated the farm in Montana that Sam envisioned. _It'd_ watched her awaken, look around the bedroom and despite her confusion she'd seemed pleased and happy with her surroundings. That was until Fifth emerged as Pete from the barn. _It'd_ seen the light in her blue eyes dim, the disappointment, even shock at Pete's image. This was odd. When Fifth had kissed her and asked if that felt real, she'd lied. Her kiss had been cold and un-giving.

Fifth had been shocked at this failure. But _it'd_ kept up the guise, telling _itself _she was just bewildered and that _it _needed to be more like Pete, sweet, kind, understanding and caring. That hadn't worked. She'd wanted _it_ to be someone else, but who? Fifth hadn't been able to get through the wall she'd erected to keep _it_ out. Protecting someone? The man she really loved. Who?

Then came the Stranger invading Fifth's world.

"We must leave," Fifth had insisted to Sam outside the farmhouse.

"Why?" she'd faced _it_ defiantly.

"They've found a means to fight us."

"The Asgard? How?" She looked around but didn't see any invasion.

"The one you call O'Neill."

"What!" Fifth had seen it then, the relief and love in her blue eyes was not for Fifth, not for Pete but O'Neill.

"Your friends. They are killing . . ."

"Don't expect me to be sorry." She had seemed happy.

" . . .Trying to stop us."

"Trying to save me," Sam said adamantly.

"No!" Fifth tried to convince her the one called O'Neill would not come for her. "They do not care about you. I told them I would kill you if they did not stop."

"Then why don't you kill me? You know why my friends won't stop just to save me?"

"No." Fifth sensed her feelings were open. Without even mind melding _it_ knew Sam's heart belonged to O'Neill and she'd rather die by that Tau'ri's hand, than remain here with Fifth.

"Because they know, when it comes right down to it, I would rather be dead than be trapped like this forever."

Yes, Fifth knew when she said _they_, Sam meant O'Neill.

"No matter what you feel for me, I will _never_ love you back. Kill me if you want, but if you have even one shred of humanity in you, if you really truly love me, you'll let me go."

_It_ did.

Fifth was back.

Alongside Fifth stood its newest creation, Replicarter, who _it _called ISam. ISam was perfect in every way, possessing what no Replicator ever had before, Sam's DNA, thanks to the Asgard technology Fifth had stolen. Of course, Fifth had fine-tuned her. ISam even loved and obeyed Fifth. That, however, proved the problem, ISam wasn't Samantha Carter, at least not the one _it_ desired. The one with fire and complex emotions that drove Fifth crazy with need for her, to join with her as human lovers do. _It _had glimpsed this physical union in Sam with the mortal Pete. And yet _it'd_ not sensed her desire for Pete in the manner she felt for the one called O'Neill. All her love and passion was reserved for the one she had tried to protect, the one she wouldn't admit had ordered her to leave Fifth behind two years ago! O'Neill!

"You wish me to?" ISam reached to invade Sam's mind, looking for Fifth's approval.

"No!" Fifth stopped her. "We will merge together. She has hidden information. Buried it. We need to burrow deeper into her subconscious. But we will start with the immediate, with her dreams. It is important that we do not harm or disturb her. We will touch her and O'Neill at the same time."

"She will know it's us," ISam insisted with Sam's frown.

"Yes, but she cannot stop us." His demonic smile made his companion smile.

Their forms separated, breaking into another set of Fifth and ISam. One set vanished appearing in Jack's bedroom.

Fifth glared down at Jack O'Neill with vile hatred. Hatred fueled by years of suspended animation, and now knowing without reservation that this was the man Sam loved, that she would die for. Fifth should have seen this the first time, should have sensed their unique bond. But then _it'd_ not possessed the human qualities needed for such comprehension. _It _did now.

O'Neill possessed what Fifth desired, Sam. He also possessed qualities Fifth needed to obtain _its_ goal, Sam's love. This would take time but Fifth would become Jack O'Neill.

His deadlight eyes examining the mortal's outer cover, Fifth had yet to understand why Sam would be attracted to this gray-haired middle-aged being, whose physical condition was anything but perfect. He had many flesh scars and most of his skeleton had been broken. His knees were, as Fifth discovered while visiting Sam's mind, shot. Fifth was younger, smarter and more handsome. Clearly, there was more to this emotion of love, more than physical attraction had linked Sam's heart to this aged man.

It would be so easy to kill the defenseless creature. But Fifth no longer relished easy. No, _it_ wanted them to suffer while _it_ planned O'Neill's demise and then took Sam for _itself_. Fifth tipped _its_ head and glanced at ISam who quietly observed the O'Neill. The expression of longing on her face mimicked that of Sam. Fifth watched ISam's delicate chin jut out and then back in as she chewed on her lips. A look Fifth had never seen ISam display even for _it_. She possessed Sam's attraction for this man, at least as much as Fifth had been able to retrieve the first time. She knew he was an enemy to their brethren. Rage and jealousy caused Fifth to shake.

"I anger you, Fifth."

"Your lack of control, yes."

"Forgive me? But from Sam's perspective he is beautiful. He is her lover, her husband and yet they live and sleep apart."

"Because they are deceitful to their kind. I believe this O'Neill calls it _hoodwinked_. Something we will never do."

"Never." ISam nodded _its_ blonde head.

"Except to them."

"Yeah sure yabetcha." She winked.

"Good. Remember what this mortal did to '_us_,' our brethren. He must be punished."

"I understand," her blue gaze drifting back to O'Neill. "But can I . . ."

"Yes." There was no need for them to speak like humans, but Fifth knew it was imperative she learn the ways of these mortals.

ISam leaned forward and pulled the sheets away revealing his state of undress. A slight gasp left her. "Amazing! Like, Sam, he is physically stirred," her gaze locked on his nether region. "No doubt, he dreams of her now."

"Yes. We will amalgamate with their memories and then practice this human form of bonding."

Nodding, ISam gently traced a fingertip over Jack's warm lips, jaw, then down his neck across his chest and muscle taut stomach. Jack groaned and moved against ISam's seductive touch.

"Saam," he breathed out.

ISam gasped at the heat from his body and pulled back. _'I like this pleasure and power. It _smiled evilly at Fifth. _'I like what I can do to him. How it makes me feel.'_

'You are a good apprentice." They joined hands.

Simultaneously, back in Sam's bedroom, ISam nodded and two sets of hands transformed into a long fine needle penetrating Sam's forehead. She flinched at the precision contact. Her peaceful romantic dreams invaded by icy cold.

'_Now let us expunge what we need. Afterward we have one last mortal to visit.'_

"Who?"

At Jack's bedside, the Replicators hands transformed into a bigger needle and Fifth confidently replied, "Pete Shanahan."

OF BUGS AND MEN

'_Dream a little dream of me . . .' _

They were at their cabin. Sam loved the idea of this serene place being _theirs_. She finally understood why he'd come here whenever possible. Twenty miles from nowhere he'd once said, the middle of the universe. He was right.

The mid-day sun warmed her body as she danced the dance as old as time with her lover beside the lake. She could feel the grass tickling beneath her or was it his stealth caresses? Sam didn't care. She was with Jack. The man, who she loved, branded to for life, her chosen heart. Her husband.

Her dizzy gaze captured the twinkle of the blue diamond on her left hand. Married! Yes! He was whispering those naughty arousing words that only he could utter. His touch was electrifying.

He laughed and pulled her closer, "So wanna go fishing, Mrs. O'Neill?"

"Already am," she teased back. "Caught me a big one too," she kissed his whiskered jaw and extracting a guttural groan as her touch captured the heat of him. Jack nuzzled the curve of her neck kissing her there. Man, she loved when he didn't shave and his beard chafed her delicate skin. Her fingers shifted through his longer gray hair that she could curl her fingers through and hang onto.

"You drive me crazy, Samantha," his husky lisp drove her over the edge with pleasure.

"I know," she drawled against his feasting mouth, urging their union, her love for this man bringing her to tears as she insisted, "Now, Jack!"

His strength enveloping her, Jack joined with her and murmured, "Wanna make a baby, Dorothy?"

"Yes!" The one thing besides Jack she longed for was his baby, babies to be exact.

"Baby!" An angry voice screamed in her head.

Fifth! Its deadlights glared at her from that cold darkness she'd been trying to forget. Sam sensed another presence with Fifth but couldn't see it.

"What the h—?" Jack blanketed Sam's nude body with his own and glared at Fifth. "Crap! Boogie man's back!"

"And you, O'Neill, are gone!" The angry Replicator yanked Sam from Jack's protective arms, and then flung him through the air. Jack collided with the log cabin's wall so hard Sam heard the impact, heard his painful call, "Sam!"

The dream transformed to reality. A paralyzing fear seized her in a deep state of R.E.M. She couldn't break free of the familiar agonizing mental pain. Fifth stood gloating, but not at her, at Jack, whose anguished expression stated the obvious. They were being attacked simultaneously.

The emotional pain of their subconscious separation took on a physical nature. Sam was still immobile, but Jack could move. He was running toward her, so close. Yes! The earth quaked, the ground plummeted into a huge dark abyss and she was falling—

"Sam!" Jack yelled and vanished!

"I am sorry," ISam's voice echoed back to her. "Fifth made me! Fifth is mad!"

**CHAPTER TWO **

'_When I woke up this morning, you were on my mind . . .' _

Jack brought cake. Problem was he couldn't remember why. Oh, well, not like it wouldn't get eaten. He glanced into the Briefing Room where his SG Team officers mingled with coffee and yeah, his cake.

Meanwhile, he sat in his office holding an icepack to the base of his skull. What a hangover! He hoped it had been worth it. Hoped Daniel wasn't ticked off. Worse, he couldn't believe he'd gotten hammered the night before a morning briefing with his team leaders.

Being General sucked.

He lowered his forehead to the desk and tried to think.

Thinking sucked.

His brain felt like scrambled eggs. "You're an ass, Jack," he muttered against the comforting coolness of the oak desktop. _'No one's worth getting wasted over anymore, not even Carter. She made her choice and it's not you, so live with it!' _

Despite that brilliant newsflash he wished he could remember drinking himself into oblivion. It wasn't like him to get mind numbing drunk anymore and if he did, he always remembered why. That's how rare it had become. Of all the things to forget, he hadn't forgotten the great dream that turned into a freaking nightmare and still gave him gooseflesh.

One moment he was at the cabin on the grass making love to Sam, next _something_ yanked him out of her arms and tossed him painfully against the cabin's wall and then he was falling into a dark abyss. No doubt, the abyss represented waking up to one S.O.B. hangover.

"Jack?"

"Wha-at?" He lifted his smarting face just high enough to discern the swimming image of Daniel standing in the doorway, sipping coffee. Jack's stomach pitched. "Stand still wilya. You're making me queasy," he drawled closing his eyes.

"Wow! That's a first!"

"Ach!" Jack waved a limp hand. "Quiet . . .very quiet." He grimaced and slowly lowered his forehead to his folded arms.

"Sorry," Daniel whispered and stepped further into the office, then said softly, "I've got clothespins for your eyelids. Hey, when did you add red dye to your eyeballs?"

"Funny." Jack propped his head and then scrubbed a hand over his face and into his hair. Crap, even his hair hurt.

"Looks like you missed a few spots shaving this morning." The linguist was quick to point out.

"Shaved? I don't remember getting out of bed let alone, . . ." He cursed beneath his breath.

"Wow! Like what happened after I dropped you off last night?" Daniel ventured taking a chair.

"You tell me?" he moaned sliding the icepack around to his forehead. "Feel like I hit a concrete wall at hyper drive."

"Yeah, well, granted, you'd been chugging them down pretty hard at first, but stopped. Seemed pretty sober when you and Pete had it out in the restroom."

"We what?" Jack flinched, peeling open an eye.

The Space Monkey was smirking. How could anyone be so happy this early in the morning? Daniel could. Oh, yeah, that's right. This was Daniel.

Doctor Jackson leaned closer and looked apprehensively at his friend. "I had no idea the _Ancient Branding_ would do that to you. Hope Sam's okay."

"Whatcha talking about?" he grimaced.

"Just last night was pretty emotionally intense. I assumed you went to Sam's. So you two drive in together?" He winked suggestively.

"Huh?" Daniel made absolutely no sense. Then again that was normal.

"General?" Walter barged in. "We've less than ten minutes before the briefing, sir."

"My watch works, Walter." Jack didn't remove his head from the comfortable position he'd finally found against the back of the high back chair.

"Sorry, sir, but umm, Colonel Carter called, said she's sick. She didn't sound well—"

"Now I'm concerned." Daniel glanced at Jack, who could only grumble a reply.

"But, she said she'll be here, soon as she stops vomiting."

"Thanks." Jack shifted his head and squinted at his assistant. "Do me a favor, Walter. Cancel and reschedule all of today's briefings."

"Certainly, sir." Walter wore a slight grin. "Would you like more coffee?"

"No, got gut rot. Get me a bottle of . . ."

"Antacids are in your top left drawer, sir."

'Oh,' Jack mouthed, lifting his head. He swore a brass band played in there, a marching band no less.

"And, sir?"

"Walter?" He winced at the punctual assistant from hell.

"You have a briefing with SG-14 at 0900."

"Whoopee." He waved a limp hand to shoo the man off. Hey, hadn't he just canceled the briefings? "Walter!" _Ow!_

"Yes, sir. I'll cancel _all_ your meetings today and reschedule them through out the week. However, don't forget the conference call with the Joints Chief of Staff at 0930."

Jack muttered, knowing he couldn't weasel of that meeting unless there was a threat level of oh um, a code red or foxtrot alpha six. He wished!

"Your drycleaner called, so I sent an Airman to pickup your laundry. Rescheduled your six-month dental checkup for Wednesday at 1400. Cook wants your opinion on that new double chocolate pecan cheesecake. He got twenty cases of fresh papayas instead of popcorn and um, sorry, no Froot Loops or Oatmeal, still on backorder. Oh, two of your neighbors called complaining, about some moron wearing night vision goggles and mowing your lawn at 0430 yesterday. With all due respect, I assume that moron, would be you, sir?"

"Night vision goggles?" Daniel chuckled. "Now there's a creative marketing idea."

Jack glowered.

Daniel cleared his throat.

Walter hightailed it before Jack could strangle him.

"Geez! I swear he does that on purpose," Jack groused beneath his breath.

"He does." Daniel snorted. "Be glad you got him, Jack."

"I know . . . He's like Radar on MASH. He knows all, sees all, darn scary, next he'll be meddling in my love life like someone else I know."

"You have a love life?" Daniel teased.

"Daniel."

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"Is there something you wanna tell me?"

"Not particularly." Jack sat up gingerly, opened the drawer to find the bottle of antacids exactly where Walter said it was. He didn't recall putting it there. Geez, Walter was everywhere even in Jack's drawers. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to my quarters for one hour of undisturbed—"

The office lights flickered and died.

The emergency lighting kicked in.

Klaxons blared out the news.

"Attention all personal, unauthorized off world activation. This is a code red alert!"

"Ah, for cryin' out loud! Ow! My head!" Dang, he got what'd he wished for!

Sam sat over the toilet. Man, oh, man, she couldn't remember ever being this sick. Except after Fifth—

The phone rang, and she barely made it into the bedroom. "Hello." She held her pitching stomach and gagged.

"Sam?"

"Pe-ete." She slumped back on the bed lowering her throbbing head onto an icepack and closed her bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah." He didn't sound well either.

"Um, Sam, I called your lab and a Doctor Felger said you were home sick."

"Yep."

"I'm sick too," he said groggily.

"Amazing. Something we ate?"

"Probably . . . Say, did we fight?"

"Don't know." She searched her pulsing head and encountered remnants of heated words, flashes of angry faces. Pete. Jack. Jack! A mind-blowing kiss! Why?

"Sam?"

"What?"

"Do you remember leaving a message on my cell?" he sounded angry and concerned.

"No. Why?"

"Nothing. I just . . .Look, we're all right, I mean we're a couple?"

"Sure. Of course." They were right? Somehow it didn't ring true.

"Good. I . . ."

"Pete?" The distinct sound of vomiting followed.

Had to be food poisoning. Sam's belly pitched again and her head felt like an exploding grenade. No way was she going to work.

A call beeped through on her phone. "Colonel Carter?"

"Later, Pete, I gotta call coming in."

"Yes?" She hurried back to the bathroom.

"Walter here. All systems are offline . . . "

"Please send a car, coz I can't drive."

"Will do, Ma'am."

Dropping the phone Sam hugged the throne as another wave of dry heaves washed over her. Death by a zat would be a welcomed reprieve at this point.

'_Never know how much I love you, You never know how much I care When you put your arms around me, I get a feeling that I just can't bear You give me fever when you kiss me, Fever when you hold me tight Fever in the morning! Fever all through the night!'_

SGC Control Room:

Yep, he was definitely burning up. At least he was standing, which was more than he could say for Carter. Jack worried. What in the world had they eaten or drank last night at O'Malley's and why wasn't Daniel sick?

"How's those glitches and lost coordinates coming, Colonel?" A hand on either side of her chair's back to keep his balance, he leaned over as she typed at the control board, while the staff went about their business.

"Fine sir, all accounted for." Sam glanced up her blue eyes void of light. Even her complexion looked pasty. "I sure would like to know who messed with them. This was no accident." She turned back to the keyboard.

"Rarely is," he dismissed her work concern. "Ya look like hell."

"You should talk, sir," she tossed back with a watery smile.

Wow! He felt, well, something he shouldn't be feeling, let alone when sick. He paused to identify the exact word to describe it. Turned on. Horny! Carter? And he was hot, really hot! He reached up and ran a finger along the neckline of his black t-shirt. He was sweating like a pig.

"Must have been the steak or sour cream," he suggested, stepping off distance between them and adjusting his BDU shirt to conceal the growing evidence. The pleasurable sensation overpowered him. '_Run for the hills, Jack!'_ He wanted her, on his desk, now! Erotic images spiraled through his mind, feelings coursed down his spinal cord accelerating every nerve fiber and tissue of his being. He was on instant replay of their wedding night on Heru'ur's ship four years ago. Not to mention their stint as Nirrti's mating lab rats twenty years ago. Why now?

"Err, I had brazed chicken and rice." Her comment dragged him back to the present and out of the gutter.

"Oh. Um, Daniel's not sick." He unconsciously gravitated toward her and got hotter. Was he running a fever?

"Nor is anyone else. I called the restaurant and talked to Jim."

"Well, my head's worse than my gut," Jack shared. "Feels like someone jammed a big honking nail into it." He rubbed his forehead and winced. That hurt too.

"It's about even on my end."

"Sorry." He hated when Carter hurt for any reason.

She turned and met the sincerity of his gaze. Another sensation sluiced over Jack, more than hormones, far more dominant. Years of discipline kept his emotions for Sam tapped deep, especially while on duty. That wasn't the case now. And she was looking at him in a way she hadn't since before he went Ancient. As if she still loved him, wanted him and desired him. Jack swallowed only to encounter a lump of emotion spurred lust. He felt the sweat on his upper lip and slowly tracked his tongue over it, lapping up the salt.

Sam made a low keening sound and mimicked his tongue action, her own face flushed with fever. When the red tip of her tongue flicked the bow of her wet lips, he felt a viral groan working it's way up from the pit of his groin. What was going on? Their gazes fused as one, even stranger they breathed together. Synchronized.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Breathe, dang it!

Jack didn't give a rat's ass that she was dating Whatshisface. She was his! His lover and wife! He was close to losing it, to dragging Sam to his office and having his way. And not just once!

Breathe!

"Um, so Pete's sick too, huh?" He choked out between gasps. His hands swatted an invisible insect. He was shaking. People were watching, listening. He jammed his antsy hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels. Whoops. Not wise. He wavered and latched onto the chair. Thank heavens for his relaxed-fit BDU's.

"Yes." She blinked a few times, then turned back to the screen and rubbed her neck that glistened with perspiration. Jack was tempted to give her a shoulder rub. Why? Coz he used to give them to her on a regular basis when she burned the midnight oil. He remembered the one he'd given her the night before he went Ancient. It had been so hot and intense between them . . .

"Last I spoke with him, he was throwing up."

'_Yes! There's justice!'_ "Look, Carter, if ya wanna go home and hold his hand, go." '_Did he just say that, let alone in public?'_ Sam's slender shoulders stiffened. Crap! He did!

"I'll do just that, sir." Standing, she snatched up the computer printout and snapped it between her fingers. "Now, if you'll excuse me." She wavered and he instinctively grabbed her, turning her into him.

"I'm sorry," he said softly before letting go, his eyes full of regret.

"Whatever." She walked off stiffly, but not enough to conceal the inviting sway of her hips. '_Geez, Jack, get a grip! Yeah, a grip of Carter!' _He felt the curious gazes of his observant staff.

Stalking toward the stairs and his office, he barked, "Back to work, people!"

CHAPTER THREE 

SGC GATEROOM

Geared up from an off world mission, ISam exited the Gate holding a rifle. Daniel and Siler stood waiting for her at the bottom of the ramp. _It_ ambled down the ramp toward them.

Daniel looked up. "Sam! Good to have you back. How'd it go?"

Without hesitation, ISam lifted _its_ P90 and gunned down Daniel and Siler, and then the two SFs in the room.

From the Control Room Walter Harriman yelled over the PA: "Security breach! Threat level: foxtrot alpha six. All security teams to the Gate Room!"

The blast doors closed over the Control Room as ISam strolled casually down the ramp The Gate Room door shut. She reached out to swipe the card reader when a bullet hit her square in the back. Without a flinch, she turned and saw Jack in the opposite doorway, his P90 aimed at her. She knew it was his bullet that had just ripped through her.

His stunned expression held _it_ captive as he tentatively lowered his rifle. ISam saw the confusion in his narrowed brown gaze followed by his familiar facial twitch as he registered what, _it_ had just done. ISam had shot Daniel and Siler in cold blood. He was next.

ISam took a few steps toward him and then halted. A ripple effect washed over _its _feminine form and the wound healed. ISam watched the reality of what _it_ really was transform Jack's bewildered expression to that of a hardnosed soldier.

Jack set his rifle to multiple-fire, braced, and shot a hail of bullets into ISam. Again the ripple sluiced over _it_ as ISam repaired the damage. ISam raised _its _rifle and aimed at Jack, and then hesitated as he stared at _it _in dread. Jack! Her husband! The man who loved Samantha Carter and who she lo—

"Finish him! Do it! Finish him!" Fifth appeared on the ramp. "You must break with your old life for your new life to begin. Do not disappoint me!"

Jack stared at ISam with a mixture of shock and acceptance. ISam fired a single bullet into his chest. He groaned and crumbled to the concrete floor. Smiling proudly Fifth strolled toward _it_ and the room dissolved into the dull gray metallic walls of the

Replicator ship.

Overwhelmed with loss and remorse for what _it'd_ just done ISam turned to Fifth.

"You have done very well." He reached to caress her but she pulled back. "Soon, you will be ready to take your place by my side." He walked away and dissolved into a wall.

ISam stayed where _it _was, face contorted with grief and pain, _it _projected _itself _back to the SGC Gate Room Simulation.

Dropping to _its_ knees ISam stared at the man Samantha Carter loved and would die for. "Wake up, Jack. This wasn't real!" ISam caressed the coolness of his whiskered cheek. When he didn't respond _it_ began to shake Jack's limp lifeless form. "No! You're not dead! I didn't kill you. Won't! Can't!"

"You will!" Fifth's words assaulted ISam's mind. "You will do it over and over again, until it's second nature!" The simulation started again. ISam walked down the ramp and—

As _its_ physical being obeyed Fifth's orders, ISam pulled within _itself_, away from Fifth where even he could not touch _it_ because ISam was superior to Fifth. _It_ hated Fifth! Hated him! He'd take what ISam wanted most and destroyed it. Jack O'Neill! Well, this wasn't going to happen! ISam had a plan. Holy Hannah, it was going to work. Yeah sure yabetcha!"

Sam removed the oral thermometer and frowned at the reading that refused to drop below 99.8. At least it wasn't a 102 like when she'd been with the general. Not that he had anything to do with it, right?

Sam didn't go home or hold Pete's hand. Actually Pete was the last person on her mind. But she did retreat to her lab and shut the security door, something she rarely did considering the old ventilation system worked best with it opened. Actually she felt physically and emotionally better being near the general. Weird! But she'd also felt she was burning up with fever in his presence. A feverish fire that started in her womanhood and threatened to consume everything in its path. And to complicate things, she'd sensed the same raging inferno attraction raging in him.

Holy Hannah, what was wrong with her, with the general? She'd tried to sort the particles . . .um pieces, but kept drawing blanks. It had been this way between them for a long time right, the emotional distance? So what had brought this uncontrollable urge to make love to him now? As an afterthought, she glanced at the wall calendar and then counted off her fingers.

"Twenty, twenty one—Can't be! Nah! Has to be coincidence, right? Still, she was definitely ovulating. Which had to be impossible because she was on birth control pills. And why did she want Jack? '_Well, if that isn't a dumb question, Carter? You've always wanted him!'_

Sam recalled the morning she'd gone to his house after he'd downloaded the knowledge of the Ancients. How she'd never slept that night and had been driving around town since 0500 hours. She found herself anxiously at his door and that he'd opened it seemingly surprised. She'd intended to tell him she was still in love with him and hoped he'd felt the same. She wanted his forgiveness for being with Pete. She wanted Jack more than ever. But she couldn't remember much after that. All she had were fragmented personal recollections. She remembered feelings of hopeless desperation as the download overtook Jack, fearing she'd never be able to tell him how she felt. She hadn't. To this day, she'd yet to tell anyone of her jumbled memories. She didn't want to spend weeks in therapy with Doctor Mackenzie. No way.

And because her love for Jack still ran ocean deep, she and Pete had only made love twice and then she'd faked it. She'd since insisted they just make-out, but let him stay overnight in the guest room. He didn't like it, but respected her decision. Even when petting, Pete had only sexually satisfied her a few times but there'd been no explosion of fireworks like when she and Jack had walkie-talkie sex. Or when they came together in their dreams. Those hot memories made her shiver with pleasure. Just the sound of Jack's sultry lisp was able to take her over the rainbow!

Still, Pete made her happy by some remote definition of the word. He was comfortable and predictable, like Jack. No, not like Jack. That was a different kind of comfort and predictable zone. Comfort in knowing that even now, she could trust Jack to be there for her. She could take comfort in his strong arms, in the way he'd murmur reassurances in her ear as he brushed her hair with his hand and held her like he'd never let go . . .Stop it, Sam!

Predictable. Doh!

Predictable, in that he always had a plan A but rarely a plan B. Predictable, in that on any given situation, she could mouth his choice O'Neillism before it left his mouth. But just when she least expected, he'd create a new one! Sam smiled. Predictable, in that like a little kid with a new toy he'd stand in the line of fire and discharge his P90 at the advancing enemy. Not that he took pleasure in taking life but he'd get the same gleam in his eyes when he'd detonate C4. Jack O'Neill truly walked the lunatic fringe. And that factor alone made her feel alive!

Predictable, in how he used to always bring her coffee and Jell-O everyday and when she was PMSing, double chocolate cake with butter frosting. Or even better, she'd find Godiva chocolate in her BDU pocket. She never did figure out how he did that.

Wait, Pete was predictable! He bought her roses . . .although she preferred daisies. He was always available when she needed to escape the mountain and the stress of a Goa'uld invasion. He wined and dined her. Bought her sexy nightgowns instead of Wonder Woman flannel pajamas. Sam nipped her inner cheek to keep from smiling at the sad state of those faded, worn pajamas.

Um, wait! Pete provided everything she wanted in a relationship. Really! And unlike her and Jack, she and Pete rarely, ever argued. Sam accepted the bittersweet realization that perhaps this was as good as it got. She'd settled and that fact sickened her, it wasn't her style or nature.

Like it or not arguing with the general always got her hot. Just the way he'd say, "Carter!" when he was pissed made her flush with need. In fact when they'd been married a disagreement or heated words at the briefing table fueled the best make-out sessions. Sam got hot just thinking about it. Curse the _Man_!

And why now?

Her memories of her marriage to Jack on Chulak seemed an illusion, vague at best. Besides, they were farther apart than ever, separated by more imposing regulations since he became CO of the SGC. A decision she'd hated him for making, but had never told him. Career-wise it was the best move he could have made. Despite his unorthodox methods, he proved as always to be a strong, decisive leader and had everyone's respect and loyalty, especially hers. Up until today, she wondered if that mattered to him anymore. Did she mean anything more to him than being SG-1's CO and his friend?

Yet a few hours ago when he'd come to check on her in the Control Room, something transpired between them. It still sent a tremor of quicksilver to her womanhood, not that being around him still didn't do that. Just, since dating Pete, she'd learned to conceal it, even ignore it. Sometimes, she thought she was over Jack, but this morning, it came in a powerful rush of emotionally charged adrenaline. Love, lust, angst, confusion! It felt as if well, she tried to push the ridiculous idea out of her head and failed, they'd made love.

Angry, wild monkey sex!

Sam felt as if Jack had seen into her soul and she into his. As if he'd known exactly what she'd been thinking. There'd been a time he had. No one, not even her father, knew as much about her as Jack O'Neill did. Over the years, most often, lying in his arms she had bared her aspirations, dreams and fears with Jack. And he'd accepted every part of Samantha Carter and most of all, loved her.

Tears stung her eyelashes. When had it gone so wrong between them? She felt as if a part of her had died. And yet when he'd made that cutting remark about Pete, she knew he felt something, even if it was revulsion. Was there still a chance?

"Sam?" Daniel called from the corridor.

"Enter," she groaned, lifted her head off the coolness of the table and swiped at her we blood shot eyes.

Folder in hand, he stepped in soon as the door opened.

She pressed a feeble smile, knowing it didn't touch her eyes.

"Hey," he squinted at the dim lightening that washed the lab. "You alright?"

"Sure. Considering." She left her stool and stretched her sore body. "Feel like I've been on the obstacle course from hell, other than that," she trailed off and turned the lights up, wincing at their brightness. She decided not to mention her fever had yet to drop to normal.

"Yeah, Sam, about that." He made the habitable finger thrust of his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"What?" She opened one of her manuals, feigning interest in it.

"Do you recall anything that happened last night at O'Malley's or afterward?"

Sam grimaced. "Not really. Pete and I went there for dinner. You and Jack were there too. I assume there was a blowout of sorts, but I can't recall the specifics."

"I see," he sighed out with that tightlipped expression that worried her.

"So care to enlighten me, oh great Ancient One?"

"Umm, um," he heehawed. "Jack asked the same thing." Daniel twitched his fingers, which made her more nervous.

"And?" She stepped closer, knowing the Jackson avoidance tone. "You were there, Daniel. So spill."

"Can't."

"Why?"

"Well, because I'm not certain myself, and until I do more research, I'd rather not discuss it. I mean I'm thinking you guys are just fine and I'm the one with the problem. Which makes no sense because I know how messed up you and Jack are about each other."

Her mouth dropped open.

"Oh, did I say that? Sorry." He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes, exhaling loudly.

"No you're not. Personal issues aside, I'm not a drinker and don't think it was something I ate. If anything, I think, I mean I feel like after . . ."

"What?" He glanced up with a hopeful look.

"Fifth was in my head." She hugged herself and shivered with revulsion. "But that's impossible, right? I mean there's no way he could?" Her eyes rounded at the prospect.

"Of course not. NORAD would have detected his ship, right?" Daniel's answering her question with another didn't help.

"Will you tell me what you think happened?" She watched his mind doing its logical and then psychological analysis behind his glasses.

"No."

"Why?" Frustrated she hugged her pitching stomach. Man, there wasn't anything left to toss.

"Because I'm not sure it really happened."

"Well that narrows it down. So we're either all crazy or under an alien influence," she surmised. "Where's the general?"

"Um, he left about ten minutes ago. Went home I assumed."

"Oh." She felt strange, melancholy and the nausea had returned, she also realized Jack had to be dying before he'd leave the complex on a regular duty day.

"So I guess botulism would be preferred?"

"Not necessarily." Sam held her waist and fled for the head.

Jack got sicker. Whatever bug he had couldn't leave his body fast enough. Trouble was it refused to obey. After a few more hours of dry heaves and diarrhea, weak and disorientated he gave in and called Teal'c. An hour later he was dozing in the infirmary with an IV stuck in his arm. He hated needles.

One bed over, Carter was in the same condition with an IV and fortunately asleep.

"Doctor Brightman said you and Colonel Carter are extremely dehydrated, O'Neill."

"Ya think." Jack groused with a hoarse voice and drifted off to Munchkin land, muttering _'We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild . . .' _

Jack was not a happy camper. Nor was Sam. Daniel remained tight-lipped and between missions spent hours in his lab pouring over old books and even older tablets. What he did discover were more interesting facts about the '_Ancient Branding'_ ritual plus the physical, mental, and emotional transformations that occurred between the couple once the process was initiated. Each couple developed what was known as a bonding fever known as '_Fever Hy'yat' _that could only be alleviated two ways, by love making or drinking plenty of fluids before they'd become dehydrated. Actually both solutions were highly recommended. Go figure.

Meanwhile, same old same old and some crappy new, um, whatever! Daniel really had started to think like Jack.

His next discovery proved disheartening. Unless an Ancient couple consummated their initial branding kiss by making love before the next full moon, their branding would dissolve and they could become attracted to others of the opposite sex—however for them to be completely unbranded, their emotional and physical desires had to be mutually severed. If not, they would continue to suffer the monthly '_Fever Hy'yat.' _Which meant there was still hope, Daniel hoped. Because in the eight years he'd known Jack and Sam their feelings and sexual desires for each other had never waned, let alone been severed.

Anyhow, Jack ordered Daniel to tell what he knew happened that night at O'Malley's and afterward, but Daniel pleaded the fifth. Weird, how Fifth's name kept popping into their conversations.

Daniel was convinced something or someone had messed with three people's minds or his. He hadn't decided which, until Teal'c returned. Thankfully, it was not Daniel. Teal'c was more than knowledgeable about what had preceded that night's events. Now not only had Jack forgotten he and Sam had reunited before he went Ancient, now Sam had. And then there was the _branding_ ritual, which Daniel assumed had happened. Had it backfired? It played out like some poorly scripted B movie. Just how many times could someone get amnesia?

Whatever happened after Daniel took Jack home that night, not only affected Jack but Sam and Pete as well. Not that Daniel had first-hand knowledge regarding Pete. After all, they'd not spoken since O'Malley's restroom. But Sam and Pete's courtship seemed on track. She displayed no knowledge she'd intended to break off with Pete and tell Jack she was still in love with him or remind him of the night they'd been together before he went Ancient. If Daniel didn't know better, Sam didn't remember that event either.

So whom could he and Teal'c tell? They thought to confront Sam and Jack with their findings, but Daniel feared it was his fault and didn't think much would be gained other than the wrath of his two best friends. First, he'd overloaded Jack's brain telling him more than he should have and then the entire Ancient DNA branding thing. Daniel put out a call to Thor and Loki. So far no one had dialed home.

Daniel was more than nervous.

He was scared.

CHAPTER FOUR 

Six weeks later: 2030 Hours: O'Malley's Bar and Grill

Brooks and Dunn were broadcasting Jack O'Neill's love life in poetic detail over the restaurant speakers. How crappier could life get? Wait! Don't answer that!

'_I don't stop breathing every time the phone rings My heart don't race when someone's at my door_ (Yes it does!) _I've almost given up thinkin' you're ever gonna call I don't believe in magic anymore. _(Nope, sure don't!)

'_I just don't lie awake at night asking God would get you off my mind _(Sure do) _It's getting better all the time It's getting better all the time._

'_Yeah, I got to work on time again this morning This old job is all that I got to live _(Ain't that the truth) _And no one even noticed I'd been crying At least I don't have whisky on my breath. _(True, I've been drinking less)

'_Yeah, I think I'm gonna make it 'Cause God won't make a mountain I can't climb_ (Well, that's up for grabs) _It's getting better all the time It's getting better all the time._

'_God, I hope you're happy_ (That's all I want) _Girl, I wish you well—I just might get over you_ (When pigs fly) _You can never tell._

'_I always thought that I'd do something crazy If ever saw you out with someone else _(Wish I could remember) _But when the moment came last night I couldn't say a word, I stood there in the dark all by myself. _

'_Yeah, I could of said a million things All I did was keep it locked inside_ (That's me, Mister Reticent) _It's getting better all the time It's getting better all the time._

'_It's getting better all the time...'_ (D'oh! And Asgard eat Froot Loops!)'

He wasn't certain how long he'd been sitting in O'Malley's nursing a Guinness and Jack Daniels chaser, probably not as long as those song lyrics echoed in his head. But then what did it matter, other than being the _Man_ at the SGC Jack O'Neill didn't have a life, a least not with Samantha Carter.

Not that the night was hopeless, of course. The only ray of sunshine in his life, Cassandra was meeting him, just running late as usual. They had intended to spend a few days at his cabin, but with spring finals breathing down her neck, Cassandra needed to study.

Even though he'd broken down and hired a lawn care and house cleaning service, Jack had spent most of his four day weekend contemplating why he paid sixty-bucks a month for lawn care when he had more dandelions in his lawn than grass. And then there was the thirty-bucks an hour housekeeper from _Mediocre Maids_, who didn't know how to clean toilet bowls, not to mention scrub the bathroom tiles! By the time he gotten done gardening and cleaning, he was too bone weary to drive to Minnesota, let alone, book a flight for one flipping day at his cabin. So he'd been bumming around town, trying to avoid returning to an empty house that despite how much disinfectant he used, still smelled of Carter.

The other issue Jack managed to tap-dance around was that he and Carter had made through another hellish week of wanting to engage in wild monkey sex, along with that stupid low-grade fever that elevated whenever they invaded each other's personal space. Testing Daniel theory on what the linguist called '_Fever Hy'yat' _Jack sent SG-1 off world for that week. Jack's horniness had eased up, as did the fever, but the moment Carter returned they'd endured a full day of cold showers. Come Monday whatever weird sex bug had bitten them appeared to have run it's short warped lifecycle. They were back to normal. Now Jack just lusted for Carter every hour instead of every minute. Crap!

Expelling a sigh, he stared at the menu he knew by heart. Twenty minutes ago he had settled into a rear booth where he could watch the local patrons, and spot Cassandra's arrival. Jack unconsciously went down his personal laundry list. He still played poker with his neighbors twice a month, attended hockey and high-school football and basketball games, but that was the present extent of extra curricular activities. That along with his telescope dates weather permitting.

Not too long ago, he would have been playing pool with Daniel or Teal'c, but they had gotten lives. Screw them! Everyone had a life, but Jack O'Neill. Yep, since becoming the '_Man'_ his former social life had been flushed down the crapper. No more team night out, chess with Daniel, teaching Teal'c how to fish, or musical movie marathons that included Daniel dancing on Jack's coffee table. Red Jell-O versa blue Jell-O debates with Carter. Playing footsy with her under the Briefing Room table, not to mention lap-hand games, which meant her keeping his hand out of her lap. Yeah! Ah, whom was he kidding? Jack's hand hadn't been in Carter's lap in a good two years!

Still, it was the little things he missed. Where had it all gone wrong? And why was he sitting in of all places, O'Malley's, alone without Sam, why was he torturing himself? He'd not been here since something supposedly happened between him, Sam and Pete. He wished he could remember!

In the booth behind him, two young women were drinking and talking. Occasionally, Jack's ears would perk-up out of boredom, not to mention their naughty giggles. They were at it again. He grinned over his beer.

"Yeah, I was watching Discovery Channel and they had these scientists who believe that men who are symmetrically perfect are the best lovers. They have and give the best orgasms, and are more likely to get a woman pregnant. So we need to get our hands on that gray wolf ahead of us."

"You wanna get pregnant?" the other asked gulping on a drink and snorting.

"Course not. I just want great sex!" More laughter.

"So how ya know he's symmetrically perfect?"

"Coz, he's tall, lean, proportionate. Obviously works out. He's over forty, but—"

"Yeah, got a whiff of him when we walked by. Yummy." Another round of giggles and, "Besides, over forty means he's had plenty of experience between the sheets."

'_In our dreams.'_ Jack snorted. 'Sy_mmetrically perfect? What a line of bull.'_ But nice to know he still had his mojo. Ah, women. Jack O'Neill wasn't dead from the waist down yet! Not counting these two, he'd been hit on twice since he entered O'Malley's and all were head turners but not Sam.

Sam! Even before Jack heard her sweet laughter, he sensed her presence, and if possible, inhaled her. She filed through the main entrance with another couple. Jack peered across the expanse of tables, booths, pool tables and dance floor. She was with her brother Mark and his wife Connie. No Pete! Excellent!

Jack drank in every minuscule detail of Samantha Carter. From the clinging scooped-neck blue sweater to the fitted black skirt slit up her right leg and creamy white thigh. His hungry gaze returned to where her sun kissed hair swept back to expose her flawless heart-shaped face. Her lips were coral frosted and her blue eyes flickered with a secret light. She looked happy. Jack's heart went to his throat and refused to dislodge. He couldn't breathe!

Inhale.

Exhale.

'_Dear Lord, she's so beautiful!'_ Jack felt the internal fire warming his face and racing through his body southward. Geez, he thought he'd finally gotten a handle on whatever had been messing with their sexual chemistry. Obviously not! Though the blood in his veins froze as the hostess escorted the threesome toward his booth.

Frick! The hostess sat them in the large circular booth directly across from him. How the heck was he going to . . .?

"General O'Neill?"

D'oh! Jack glanced over as Carter had turned in her seat and appearing not the least bit startled, smiled at him. Why did he suspect she'd known he'd been here? '_She spotted your truck, moron!' _

"Carter?" his voice bottomed out as he feigned surprise and like a drunk lifted his bottle then nodded at Mark and Connie. Mark never did like him. But Connie had been more than pleasant. She'd made no bones she thought he and Sam should get it on romantically. Yeah. Sure. If only.

The couple glanced at Sam and then Connie said something to her. Sam shook her head no. That gave him a gut ache. She finally nodded yes and turned to him.

"Sir, if you're alone, why don't you join us?" she asked sincerely.

'Great! Just what I need is 'Let's all feel sorry for Jack,' invite.'

He glanced at his watch, wondering where Cassie was. "That's quite all right. You're with family and," he was about to say no, when the demon on his shoulder said, "Sure, why not." Was that regret or relief skittering across Sam's shimmering blue eyes? He'd soon find out.

Beer in hand, Jack stood and told the waiter he'd be sitting with the Carter party. He sauntered over to them and gestured with his beer. "Actually, Cassandra and I have a date." He couldn't believe he'd said _date_. '_Hey, why not a date, meeting, dinner engagement with his daughter? That was cool. Right?'_

"Well, this is odd." Sam made a face. "Coz, she's supposed to meet me at eight pm."

Connie giggled.

"Guess we were setup, Sam. Knowing Cass, she won't show. Remember the last time . . ." '_Did he say that?'_

Sam gulped air and then blew it out her compressed lips.

'_Yep, he did!'_ Jack unconsciously mimicked Sam's exhaling gesture, but with his warbling snort of disgust reserved for the Goa'uld. Shit!

Mark and Connie stared curiously.

Sam glared knowingly.

Jack swatted an invisible fly. "I meant it's been awhile since we've gone out together. . . er um," he cringed. "The three of us," he motioned at Sam's crimson hue, "Cassie, Carter, me—together." He held up three fingers. "Well, I'm just saying . . ." '_Just shoot me!'_

"I think it's sweet of Cassandra. I'm sure she'll be surprised that Mark and I dropped into town." Connie saved the day.

Avoiding everyone's gaze, Sam scooted further into the booth and Jack slid in beside her leaving adequate space between them. While Mark and Connie were practically in each other's lap, which left a huge gap between the couples.

"Hey, stop it!" Connie teased her husband, who winked and then looked over at Jack.

"Glad to see you, General O'Neill." Mark acknowledged. "You remember my wife, Connie." He put a possessive arm around his petite wife.

"Sure do." Jack nodded and extended his hand over the table. "Good to see you both again, and its Jack to, you folks."

"Okay, Jack." Connie smiled warmly when he shook her hand. "I just don't get why Sam has to call you sir or general all the time, even off base."

Sam coughed and glanced at the menu she held to her face. "Because it's proper military protocol, Con, a sign of respect. The general is my commanding officer."

"Oh." Connie's pretty features crinkled with confusion.

When Jack purposely didn't add anything, Sam set down her menu and avoiding his inquiring expression, explained to her sister-in-law with a curt tone meant for Jack. "In the military a subordinate needs permission to be informal. Just like General O'Neill addresses Dad—."

"As Dad or Jacob. Long before I got promoted to general, Jacob let me call him Dad, but that was his equitable decision and—" Sam pinched Jack's thigh—hard. _Ow!_ He winced and eyeballed her a moment. "I do, however, wish to clarify that years ago I gave Samantha permission to call me Jack off duty. But you know Sam with rules and regulations. She's such a good little soldier." He gestured to pat her but Sam's deadly glower stopped him.

"Do we ever." Mark grinned at Sam and didn't seem to notice the tension between her and Jack.

"Yep, that's my colonel by the book no matter what. Never breaks the regulations."

Another pinch and twist! That did it. He snatched her offending hand and set it on her lap, allowing his fingers to rest where the skirt's slit fell open against her bare thigh. Wow, no pantyhose. He felt her tense beneath his lingering touch. Her skin felt satiny smooth and hot! So was he—hot!

"For the rest of the weekend I'm making it an order, Carter. I'm calling you, Sam—Samantha and you're calling me Jack." He waggled a brow daring her to defy him. Instead felt her nails scrap across the top of his hand before prying it off of her thigh. He let her.

"But si—"

"Nah ah!" He flagged a pointer finger. "Don't argue with your CO."

Connie laughed, while Mark sat back with a brooding air that warned Jack to watch his six, if that was possible.

Cassandra Fraiser had yet to show.

Connie Carter watched the restrained but defined interaction of her sister-in-law and Jack O'Neill with the analytical mind of a marriage counselor and the heart of a woman.

The earlier strain between them had long dissolved. Now everything seemed remarkably refreshing. Sam and Jack were so in tune that Connie swore they were a couple or for that matter, married for as long as she and Mark, which was nearing twenty years. She noted how within minutes, they'd physically gravitated toward each other. They were practically in each other's lap. Due to their working relationship, their present physical behavior was not the professional norm. Nope, their touching wasn't consciously intended. It'd just happened. Naturally. Because of his long legs Jack had assumed a casual pose, his left arm draped over the booth's back, hand cradling Sam's shoulder in a common way with which she seemed comfortable. And whenever possible she'd leaned into his hand as if seeking reassurance. For what, Connie wasn't sure. Meanwhile, Jack responded with the slight squeeze of his long lean fingers. Touch was definitely an intricate part of their complicated relationship.

Connie noticed something else unique about their unspoken dialogue. She'd only seen it in a few older couples, but never anything this complex. Sam and Jack had developed an intimate sign language. And it was not Morris Code. Yet when Jack tapped his fingers on the table, Sam responded positively or negatively. But she always responded, even tapping herself upon occasion. When Jack reacted Connie knew it wasn't one-sided. Amazing!

Then there were their exchanged looks and expressions, especially Jack's. The general was a man of many facades. Some of them were blatantly in your face. Others expressions barely detectable, but Sam seemed to read him like a book. And the same applied to her. Jack knew his former second in command in a very intimate way. Which made Connie wonder if they'd ever broken the military code of fraternization. If they hadn't physically, they had unquestionably done so in their hearts. Connie was drawn back to their unending repartee.

"I can't believe Walter told you, that Hailey still has a crush on you, Jack." Sam was snickering over her wine.

"Hey, I can see how that would happen. Kinda like a student infatuated with her instructor." He puffed out his chest.

"Sure, maybe two years ago, especially after you saved our butts from those swarm, stinging—"

"Erum!" Jack flagged her and Sam snapped her mouth shut, and cleared her voice.

By the general's expression the issue was apparently classified. Darn, Connie wished she knew what they really did down in that mountain.

"Sorry." Sam avoided Mark's curious expression.

Jack leaned over and whispered something in her ear followed by a body shudder.

Sam grinned at his private remark and reaction and nodded in agreement. Then they just looked at each other—again.

'Wow! Was it getting warm in here or what?' 

Sitting straighter, Sam continued. "Anyway, I assure you, Hailey no longer has the hots for you, Jack."

"Gosh, now, I'm wounded." He scrunched his face as if in pain. "Ya mean Lieutenant Hailey isn't the least bit smitten with my award-winning, charismatic personality and irresistible, good looks." He waggled his brows and his dimples slashed deep along side his lopsided smile.

Connie grinned at his comedic behavior.

Mark took another drink and muttered something she didn't want to identify.

"Nope. I hate to disillusion you." Sam sipped her Merlot with a wry smile. "Besides, Hailey's more into Paul Davis these days."

"Major Davis! You mean those two?" Jack blustered and shoved upright in his seat.

"Yeah. You actually thought it was your bubbly personality that's had him flying out here from Washington every other week?" She arched a brow at him.

"Yes, well, there's that. And I didn't notice this, why?"

Sam rolled her eyes and tapped her fingers on the table.

"Yeah, right." Jack sighed out and tapped back.

Connie was further intrigued.

"Well, now I am crushed," he muttered through a huge smirk.

"No, you're not." She countered. "Oh, don't get me wrong, Jennifer likes and respects you. She'd die for you, ya know?" Sam spoke in a tone that held a mutual military understanding, even Connie understood.

"Yes, yes, she would." Jack's countenance turned serious, before he smiled.

"But the lieutenant has yet to recover from dealing with you during field training. Actually, she commented most recently and might I add respectfully, that you are a hard-hearted, grumpy, royal pain in the ass."

"Ouch!"

"And that's since she's gotten to know you, better." Sam winked at Connie.

Connie snorted. These two were priceless together.

"Let me understand this, Sam. In other words, Hailey is in agreement with ninety-nine percent of the base?"

"Yeah sure yabetcha." Sam elbowed him playfully.

"Easy!" he warned with a warm smile that lit up his dark amber eyes.

Sam shrugged as if their interaction was normal. Connie made another mental note. Clearly, they had personal and professional boundaries. Right now, the gloves were off.

"Well, all in all that's a freaking relief." Jack's long fingers cupped Sam's shoulder tighter and he drew her into his side. "Coz, the last thing this old CO needs is for his subordinates to think he's a soft hearted, grumpy, royal pain the ass." He winked an eye at Connie.

She and Sam laughed.

Jack joined them.

Mark ordered another round of drinks.

A few minutes later Connie glanced at her husband who stared dumbfounded when Sam laughed and snorted at another not so hilarious joke, Jack just told. She studied Sam's radiant countenance and generous smile. A smile that touched her brilliant blue eyes and a smile only Jack O'Neill could extort.

As different as they were, Jack and Sam complimented each other. For instance, Jack ordered Sam's meal and_ 'Ms. I Am Air Force'_ didn't bat an eye. Not because she wasn't capable or he was her CO, but because she trusted him. Jack knew she liked her steak medium-rare with mushrooms and not just any mushrooms, no. Shiitake mushrooms in a light red wine sauce with garlic mashed potatoes on the side.

Jack was about to order a shrimp pasta dish when Sam reminded him that he got sick on it last year. So he ordered stuffed pork-chops and groused she'd better not eat his stuffing. As if oblivious to Connie and Mark's presence, Sam teased he would have to eat fast, and then pinched him somewhere Connie preferred not to imagine. But did.

Flinching from her physical barb, Jack cautioned, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander, Sam." They laughed and then started heckling each other nonstop. Their issues ranged from fishing, a hand-crocheted Homer Simpson something or another, Jack sleeping with a plastic white bowl, to arm-wrestling remarks that Connie and from the look on Mark's face, were clueless about.

The sexual sparkage between them wore Connie down! She had seen Sam with Pete on several occasions and never once had Sam looked this radiant and happy. Jack O'Neill might be older than Connie preferred for her sister-in-law, but there was no denying their chemistry was magic. And more apparent, they were in love!

No wonder Cassandra was trying to set them up. And from Mark's tight expression, Connie and Cassandra weren't the only ones aware of with whom Samantha was in love. So why was she dating dull, but nice Pete Shanahan? If it was just the military regulations, why oh, why, hadn't one of them done something about it? Connie intended to find out.

CHAPTER FIVE 

Mark and Sam were dancing. Jack wished he were holding Sam and waltzing to the romantic music. At least it wasn't Pete. Of whom no one had yet to mention. Not that Jack was complaining.

"I'm glad they're getting along again." Connie toyed with her desert and glanced at Jack's pensive expression.

"Um, yeah, right. Me too." He snapped back to reality and sat straighter realizing he'd been staring at Sam and zoning. His left hand had strangled the used napkin into a tight wad.

"Any immediate family with the O'Neill clan?"

"No. Not living. Just some uncles and cousins, but we keep in touch." He pinched a smile and coasted his glass over the wet circle it'd made on the table.

"So Doctor Jackson, Murray, Cassandra and Sam are your family now."

"Guess so," he said evasively, glanced at his cell-phone and frowned. Dang, he'd left Cassandra two messages, each one a little more annoying. He'd finally plugged into her head, but even that seemed to have a busy signal. Where was that girl?

"Sam said you called the team your kids."

'Yes, well," Jack grimaced. "Things have changed since I became base commander. Everyone's moving on, getting lives. But long as my kids are happy. I'm happy." He sensed sympathy in her brown gaze. He didn't want pity.

"And what about your happiness?"

"Excuse me?"

"It doesn't have to be this way, ya know." She glanced at the dance floor and his gaze tracked to where Sam and Mark danced. They were talking. He wondered about what? Dad? Him? Pete?

"Sam's crazy about you, Jack."

"Whatcha talking about?" He traced his middle finger in the watermark on the table. He couldn't believe he'd taken her bait.

"You and Samantha."

He almost put his neck out turning to face the pretty brunette. "Look, Connie, I don't know what you think's going on. But there's no way, me and Sam . . . I'm her CO, for cryin' out loud!"

"And I'm a marriage counselor, Jack."

"Yeah, she told me." His gut began to ache and he glanced around like a cornered rabbit.

"So'd she tell you, I deal with dysfunctional relationships?"

"Well, no. Hey," he turned defensive. "You saying Carter and me are dysfunctional?"

"Actually, no."

"Well that's a relief!" Had he just agreed that he and Sam were a couple? Double crap!

"In fact you guys are one of the most amazing examples of a functional relationship I've ever seen. It's just . . ." She sighed out and looked away.

"What?" The bleat seeped out of his voice. What was wrong with him! Why did he give a rat's ass what this woman thought he and Sam supposedly had?

"To be honest, I'm detecting a huge wall of pretense and avoidance of feelings between you two—"

"Wooo! Look, Connie, I appreciate your candor, but—" '_the sheer audacity of the woman!'_

"Let's dance." She stood and offered her hand.

"Um, I'm not—" Before the protest left his lips, she'd snatched his wrist and dragged him to the dance floor. Jack was pretty sure it wasn't his idea to dance with Mark's wife, but she proved light on her feet and fortunately, didn't say another word about him and Sam.

"You're an excellent dancer, Jack."

"Thanks." He gave a curt smile and looked past her to where Mark was tripping over Sam's feet. Jack grinned recalling a similar situation eight years back when Sam and Daniel had danced on this very floor and he'd cut in.

He felt Connie's assessing gaze. The woman glanced at the sibling couple and groaned. "We should rescue Sam."

"I don't think that's a . . ." Connie led him with unusual strength and then tossed him into Sam's arms, "good idea." He glanced down at an equally stunned Sam.

Connie yanked Mark's arm. "Come on, Mr. Two Left Feet, stomp on my dogs for awhile." She led Mark into the next dance.

"So." Jack stared at Sam while his right arm gravitated around her waist to her back and his left hand reached for hers.

"So." She worried her lower lip. "We don't have to—" She glanced at their booth.

"No. I'm fine. Unless you'd rather—?" He felt his facial muscles spasm and tried to relax.

"No." Sam interlaced her fingers through his and they began to dance. Jack's heart raced so fast he thought he was having the big one. At least he'd die happy.

"This is kinda awkward." She said against his chest.

"Yeah, it's getting there." He drew her closer. Couldn't help it. Didn't want to. She didn't resist and they held each other's tentative gaze. "I know this is overstepping protocol . . ." He waited for her to put him in his place.

"What?" She presented a curious look of invitation.

"You are beautiful, Sam." The words left his mouth before he could recant them. "So hot!"

She choked and then sputtered, "Really?" Blushing under his sensual gaze.

"Yeah."

"Wow!"

"You're the hottest, Babe." He winked suggestively. And then a song, neither had heard in ages wafted on the air like the ghostly spirit of Christmas past, a reminder of what they'd had lost and needed to find . . . their way back home.

'_I know it's been some time But there's something on my mind You see I haven't been the same Since that cold November day We said we needed space But all we found was an empty place And the only things I learned Is that I need you desperately So here I am And can you please tell me . . . (oh)'_

In sync, they looked into each other's eyes, long, hungry, hurting gazes that said more than words. They were two broken hearts trying to find their way back to each other. Again.

'Where do broken hearts go Can they find their way home Back to the open arms Of a love that's waiting there And if somebody loves you Won't they always love you look in your eyes And I know that you still care for me' 

Neither one's feet moved as they slipped from the formal dance stance to an intimate embrace. Jack's arms lowered, his hands drifting down the slender contour of Sam's ribs to encircle her waist and urge her nearer. Sam complied, her hands latching around the tensed cords of his neck while her fingers caressed his short nape hairs. Her touch was so electrifying it hurt.

'I've been around enough to know that dreams don't turn to gold' 

Swaying in sync, the lyrics exposed their hearts to each other and to the world. Jack longed to cradle her delicate face as he used to, and dip his head to brush his lips over hers to taste what had long been denied him and would be forever if she married Pete. _'Tell her, you fool! Just say those three words . . .'_

'_And that there is no easy way No you just can't run away And what we had was so much more Than we ever had before And no matter how I try You're always on my mind So here I am And can you please tell me (oh)' _

Sam's body shuddered against him, her fingers bit through the fabric of his shirt and into his shoulder blades as she held on for dear life. Was she crying? He pulled back to find her eyes glistening with unshed tears that broke his heart and shattered his defenses. "I'm sorry, Sam," he whispered into her hair. She sucked another sobbing breath.

'_And now that I am here with you I'll never let you go I look into your eyes And now I know, now I know—And if somebody loves you Won't they always love you I look in your eyes And I know that you still care . . .for me You still care for me . . .'_

"Geez, Sam, I wish things were different, wish—" he gently caressed her stiff spine in the soothing way he knew she liked. '_You knew how much I love you!' _"Forever okay. I'm here for you, Sam. Forever and for always . . ." And then she bolted from his arms toward the restroom. Jack stood there watching her retreat and knowing he had no right to pursue her.

Cassandra Fraiser-O'Neill stood in the shadows of O'Malley's watching her mother's quick exit from the dance floor. Gosh golly! That's not how it was supposed to go down, this was their song, their chance to make it right! She glanced at her father as he scrubbed his hands over his face and into his short gray hair. Cass caught the painful longing in his eyes before he donned his trademark O'Neill cynical expression. What was she going to do with him? With Mom? How could two people so desperately in love, be so messed up! _'God help her? No, help them? Please?'_

In the women's restroom, Sam splashed water on her flushed face. What had just happened? Who'd selected '_their' _song? She'd not heard it since the night she'd gotten snookered here at O'Malley's. The night Jack came and took her home, bathed her, put her to bed and slept with her. He'd held her close and let her babble about only heaven knows what, but he had. She still didn't remember much about that night, but she did know he'd been there for her. Always.

Leaning against the coolness of the ceramic wall, Sam clenched and unclenched her fists in frustration. Every time she shut her eyes, she saw Jack's rugged, handsome, boyish face. How could one man be so multi-faceted? Jack O'Neill could be a kick-ass in your face CO one minute and the next, deliver that mischievous lopsided mouthful of dimples that could charm the pants off a Goa'uld System Lord, not to mention his big mouth.

Oh yeah, she loved that big kissable mouth that was open more than shut, and his full sensuous lower lip, wow! She sighed. Even when not talking his lips remained slightly parted, as if he was on the verge of saying something or not. And his lisp was so maddening sexy, especially when he used it on her. "Samantha." She heard him in her head even now.

Sam's vulnerable recap settled on Jack's eyes. They weren't big blue eyes like Pete. No, they were deep-set, mysteriously dark and sultry. And with his long brown lashes well, sometimes, when he shut his eyes, she had to fight the temptation to reach up and kiss those lashes, to feel their silky texture beneath her lips. Sam only had to revisit the last embrace to remember how it felt to have those lashes brushing her face and neck as her fingers threaded through his natural bed-head hair. Why was she going through her O'Neill naughty laundry list—again?

Oh, Sam knew ever scar, crease, and laugh line on Jack O'Neill's craggy face and his muscle-lean body including the scar under his chin few noticed. But she knew it was there, because she'd given it to him. Though she still didn't remember when or how, she just knew she was responsible. Because he'd said she was. Either that or he was lying, but then that was one thing he didn't do with her. No, Jack didn't lie. Just like he'd not lied out there on the dance floor about how he felt for her.

So what was with her hormones going amuck around him again? It wasn't even that time of the month. Man, oh, man, he looked hot, acted hot. Felt hot! Made her hot! And where was Pete? Not that she missed him and that was the problem. She should. Right?

Sam tried to compose herself and stared at her flushed complexion. "Face it, Sam. You don't want Pete here. This is the best time you've had in ages. Ever since, oh, why can't I remember the last good time I had with Pete? Because it fails to compare to being with Jack, that's why."

"Sam?" Connie poked her wavy brown head into the bathroom's lounge. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Sure." She pulled herself together and turned to smile at her sister-in-law.

"You gotta see this, Sam, Cassandra's here. She and Jack are line dancing! I laughed so hard I almost wet my panties. They're really good. That man can dance!"

"I know." Sam pressed a smile. "Um, I'll be right there."

"Okay. They are like two of a kind. I don't know who's worse. Just like a father and daughter . . ." And then Sam started crying.

"Hey!" Connie came to her side and putting her arm around Sam drew her to the loveseat. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Everything!"

"Yeah, figured that out awhile ago."

"Huh?" Sam grabbed a tissue from the tissue box and blew.

"Look, sis. We've gotten pretty close these last few years, right?"

"Erm, sure, especially since Janet died. Yeah, you've been there for me, Con."

"Good. So can I be candid with you?"

"You always are." Sam wiped her dripping eyes and blew.

"Well, not like I'd like to be. Mark keeps telling me it's none of my business and I suppose he's right. But I love you, Sam, and I want you to be happy."

"Hey, I am happy! Just been a stressful week at work and well, I'm PMSing big time." '_Liar!'_

"That's not what I'm talking about." Connie gently directed Sam's face to hers.

"Huh?"

"After being married to a Carter for nearly twenty years, I've begun to think and talk like one. So I won't pull any punches. You're not in love with Pete."

"What! That's nuts. Insane. Of course, I'm in love with Pete."

Connie just looked at her. "It would appear you plan to make the biggest mistake of you life if you ask me."

"I didn't ask!" Sam pulled away.

"Sam. For the last three hours I've been watching you and Jack."

"Con—"

She held up a hand. "Let me finish and then I'll shut up and never bring it up again--maybe!"

Sam nodded begrudgingly. No doubt she needed to hear a few words of wisdom from another woman.

"That fifty something general dancing his heart out like a twenty-year old is crazy about you, Sam. I don't ever recall Mark looking at me the way Jack looks at you. It's almost like there's some spiritual bond between you two. Like you're each other's godsend."

Sam opened her mouth but Connie waved her hand in reprimand. "Not done yet! Mark and I have suspected for sometime that you two were in love. But the regulations you both highly respect and your present roles at the Mountain keep you from acting on those feelings. I don't know what's gone down between now and then but I was shocked when you started dating Pete. Don't get me wrong, Pete's okay, but he's not Jack O'Neill, Sam. So why are you settling for less?"

"Now wait just one minute!"

"No!" Connie was in her face. "I see the way you look at him. The way you finish each other's sentences. You two have history, Sam. And I can only imagine what it all entails. The guy loves you and you are breaking his heart!"

"Enough!" Sam shot to her feet and got in Connie's face. "Jack O'Neill shoved me out of his personal life, long ago! And when he took the position as base CO he made it perfectly clear we have no future together! That's why I'm with Pete."

Connie didn't back down. "You so sure, Sam? Did it ever occur that since you were already dating Pete, Jack believed you'd made your choice and it wasn't him?"

Sam swallowed hard and stared at her wise sister-in-law.

"Think about it, Sam. Mark and I want you happy and from where I'm standing, you're the most miserable woman in the world. And the happiness your heart really wants is out on that dance floor, making a fool out of himself over you. Geez, Sam, do you have any idea how many women would die for a man like Jack O'Neill?" With that, Connie turned and walked out of the bathroom's lounge.

"Yeah, Connie, I do."

Breathless, Jack swung Cassandra one last time before his knee buckled. "Ow!" He hobbled with her assistance back to the booth.

"You okay, Dad?" Cassandra's concerned voice made him smile.

"Sure, Sunshine, just need to lay off the leg awhile. That's all."

When Connie went to the bar for an ice pack, Mark donned a concerned but wry expression. "That's why I stick to waltzes and the twist, Jack."

"Funny." He smiled at the younger man, and then noticed Sam coming their way. Her fair features were pale and her blue eyes appeared red. She had been crying. Crap.

"Si . . . Jack, you okay?" She knelt beside Cassandra and touched his knee through his tan khakis.

"For the second time, yes. Just aches a little."

"Ahh, Dad, its swollen pretty good. You really need to have this taken care of."

"Look, Ms. Pre-pre-med, I've had enough scopes and scrapings to start a calcium bank. No one is poking around in my knee again."

"Whatever." She snickered and grinned up at him.

Jack winked back.

"You really need to get home, Jack." Sam advised.

"Sam, that's twice you called him, Jack."

"Yes, well, he made it an order for tonight."

"The weekend." Jack corrected.

"Cool!" Cassandra hugged Sam and got hugged back.

It was after ten pm and Joe was setting up for Karaoke Night. Jack was relieved he'd be leaving soon, because the last thing he needed was to listen to wannabe singers who didn't even sound good in the shower. To his dismay, Cassandra got all excited and he noticed her talking to one of the men setting up the sound equipment.

Sitting back at their booth Jack started sucking down bottled water, as did Sam. They'd both grown quiet and had barely talked since their emotional dance. Meanwhile, Mark and Connie were fading and opted to drive Sam's car to her place and crash in the guestroom, with Jack and Cassandra assuring them, Sam would get home.

Cassandra did her pretty please whining routine and convinced Jack and Sam to stay until she preformed a song. She had a pretty good voice and he'd taught her to play the guitar, not to mention she'd sung in the high school choir and a few school musicals.

After two singers who thankfully would remain forgetful and nameless, Cassandra took the stage.

"Sir?" Sam looked at him nervously, no doubt wondering what the teen had up her sleeve.

"Look," he avoided their mutual concern. "No matter what she does, we smile and applaud." He reasoned trying to un-scrunch his facial muscles.

"Of course." Sam smiled. "Just wish Janet could see this."

"I've always believed there are windows in Heaven." He winked.

Cassandra took the handheld microphone. "This song is dedicated to the two people I love most in this world and who just need a huge nudge. I hope you two bullheads get it."

"Oy!" Jack braced in his seat and felt Sam tense up beside him. As the familiar Melissa Manchester music started he stole a glance at Sam, who was looking everywhere but at him. Talk about awkward.

'_She's so very nice you should break the ice Let her know that she's on your mind Whatcha tryin' to hide when you know inside She's the best thing you'll ever find? Ahh, can't you see it? Don't you think she's feeling the same? Ahh, I guarantee it, She's the one that's calling your name' _

"Really?" Jack whispered in Sam's ear.

She blushed and nodded.

"Sweet!"

'Y_ou should hear how she talks about you, You should hear what she says She says she would be lost without you, She's half out of her head (out of her head) You should hear how she talks about you, She just can't get enough. She says she would be lost without you She is really in love.'_

Cassandra pointed at Jack and said, _"She's in love with you, boy!_"

Flustered, Jack wanted to crawl under the table, which meant encountering Sam's beautiful bare legs. Now there was a novel idea! Except his knee would hate him in the morning. As if sensing his emotional distress, Sam placed her hand on his ice-packed draped knee. He tentatively laced his fingers through hers and his blush turned to a smile.

'_I ain't tellin' tales, anybody else Could repeat the things that I've heard She's been talkin' sweet and it's on the street How our girlfriend's spreadin' the word Ahh, you should hurry, You should let her know how you feel Ahh, now don't you worry If you're scared her love is for real' _

Sam and Jack smiled intimately at each other. He wanted to kiss her but like all things in their warped relationship that wasn't about to happen.

'_You should hear how she talks about you, You should hear what she says She says she would be lost without you, She's half out of her head (out of her head) You should hear how she talks about you, She is really in love (She is really in love) 'Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk Can'tcha see? (Can'tcha see?) It's me!' _

Cassandra pointed at Sam, who turned her flushed face to Jack's shoulder!

'_Oh, what she said, what she said . . .' _

"Sam?"

"Jack?"

"We need to talk."

"Yeah sure yabetcha."

The stranger hovered in the shadows of O'Malley's watching the young woman on stage sing her heart out for one particular couple. Anger, rage and jealousy heated his blood as he tried to stay focused. Nine months into this mission he couldn't back out. Too much at stake. Besides he valued his life. He just hadn't planned on falling for the mark. Well, he was a firm believer that he could have his cake and eat it too. That old man didn't know it, but his lopsided smirk was about to be wiped off of his face for good!

After Cassandra finished the chorus she got a huge round of applause and took a bow, but not before winking at her parents who were discreetly trying to blend into the woodwork. Cass knew she'd taken a chance performing this song where SGC personal hung out. She also hoped Dad or Mom didn't hurt her, but could already hear the wheels turning in Dad's Ancient head. Yeah sure yabetcha, her credit card was about to get axed. No matter, a smile split Cassandra's face. Holy Hannah, it'd been worth it!

Throughout the night Jack had kept tabs on O'Malley's patrons. Unless he'd missed someone, there'd not been a soul from the SGC. Meanwhile, he was contemplating the most efficient way to penalize his daughter. After conspiring with Sam, they'd agreed to drop her credit card limit to a thousand bucks for the rest of the year! A grin split his countenance. Sam grinned back. It'd been worth it!

The aspirins and icepack had kicked in and Jack figured he could drive. But Sam and Cassandra refused him because he'd have to use the clutch. He intended for Cass to bunk at his place, so Sam offered to drive so Cass could drive her own car to his house. Still no mention of Pete! Yes. Jack was starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. God was good!

2330 Hours

Cassandra had left. Jack excused himself to visit the head while Sam waited by the rear exit door. Jack was rehearsing his conversation for the twenty-five minute drive home. Somehow, someway he had to reconcile with Sam. And if that went well, he was calling in one of those markers with President Hayes. He and Sam belonged together and tonight he was going to lay it on the line. He felt nauseous and giddy at the same time. Was that possible?

Thanks to Cassandra's public prodding, Sam's stomach was in her throat. This was it! She had to tell Jack how she felt. Tonight. Sink or swim. Because if she didn't do it while she had the nerve, it wouldn't happen. She'd just settle back into her comfortable routine with Pete who was stuck in Denver with work related issues. Still, she suspected he had marriage on the brain and she needed to nip that in the bud quick. No way could she marry Pete, not after what had happened between her and Jack tonight. All she needed was a plan to give Pete back his ring.

Jack's sexy lisped declaration played over and over her head. "You're beautiful, Sam. So hot! Forever okay. I'll be here for you. Forever and for always." They both knew what _'forever okay'_ meant. He still loved her! Always!

"Sam!"

She jumped at the sound of that well-known voice.

"Gosh, Hon, I'm sorry. I tried to get away earlier, but hey, I'm here now!" He swept her into his arms and squeezed tight.

Sam pushed gently but firmly away. "Pete?" She blinked again, praying he wasn't real. But his goofy little boy smile was just inches from her face.

"Hey, aren't you glad to see me?" He touched her cheek with a hurt look.

"Of course I . . .I just didn't expect . . ." He started to lead her to the front door.

"I was so afraid I'd miss you, but Mark said you were still here."

"He um did?" '_The louse!'_ She glanced toward the men's restroom but didn't spot Jack—yet.

"Yeah." He turned her into his arms and smiled. "Hey, you alright?"

"Sure." She gave a quick smile, eyes skirting the patrons. '_Please, God, don't let Jack see . . .' _And then Pete kissed her!

A shit ass grin on his face, Jack limped out of the restroom and glanced toward the rear exist. '_Um, no, Sam. Maybe she's gone to start the truck.'_ The keys rattled in his pocket, nope. He turned to walk to where they'd been seated when he saw '_them'_ locked in an embrace.

'Sam was kissing Pete! What the f!' 

Jack wished he had his 9mil revolver. Usually he did. 'Y_eah right, you're going to blow some guy's brains out because he's Sam's boyfriend and is kissing her in public and from the looks of it, she doth not protest!' _

Bile backwashed into Jack's throat, and that other stupid song played . . . again . . .while in quiet desperation Jack watched the woman he loved kiss another man.

'_I always thought that I'd do something crazy_ _If ever saw you out with someone else But when the moment came last night I couldn't say a word, I stood there in the dark all by myself.' _ _'Yeah, I could of said a million things All, I did was keep it locked inside__It's getting better all the time Its getting better all the time . . .' _

Picking up his trampled pride and battered heart Jack limped along the shadows, out the front door and out of Samantha Carter's life. Forever and for always!

Desperate, Sam broke free of Pete's embrace.

"Hey, what's wrong, Babe?" Pete fumbled as she sped for the back door. With Pete on her heels, Sam hightailed it through the door and into the cool spring's night to see Jack climbing into his truck.

As if sensing her there, Jack turned and called out as he started the engine, "Have a good life, Carter." Then putting his foot to the floor he burned rubber.

Sam's heart plunged to her feet. For all that mattered, he could have said, "See you Monday, Carter." But she knew that's not what he meant. It was over!

"Hey, Sam." Pete, fortunately just saw Jack's taillights. "What's up?"

"Nothing!" She spat and immediately felt guilty as he looked at her with those hurtful drooping eyes. "Sorry, just thought it was someone I knew. I was wrong." She walked toward the bar and grill. "Very wrong."

"Hey, Babe, if Mark's got your car how'd you expect to get home?"

"Figured you'd show," she lied and berated herself. Still, she didn't want to be alone with her morbid regrets of what ifs. "Pete, please do me a huge favor?"

"Anything." He eased his arm around her and she leaned into him for support.

"Do not ever call me, Babe!"

CHAPTER SIX 

"_The years flash by, today melts to yesterdays memories, Time's holding us tight I'm looking back to remember the days we said we'd never say goodbye. _

"_Sometimes I feel like we've been running too far from the truth You know I'm tired of hearing 'another day another time All this senseless waiting won't fill these dark empty rooms, Why won't you come home?_

"_And now you're gone, my hands melt to yesterday's melodies Time's pushing along, Still looking back to hold onto the days we said we'd never say goodbye._ _Yes, she'll hear you . . ."_

0400 Hours 

Surrendering to Sam's artful caresses and hot yielding body, Jack plummeted over the climatic plateau with his wife in a heart-stopping dream. Oxygen ripping from his lungs in painful gasps of pleasure, body tangled in sweaty sheets, he jolted awake to an empty bed and an even darker, emptier room that still smelled of Sam. Disgusted with his lack of self-control, he glanced at his clock and grimaced. 0420 hours.

Guess he'd cut lawn.

**0400 Hours**

Sam tossed fitfully in her sleep. She'd not shared a lovemaking dream with Jack in so long that she'd come to believe those extraordinary night visions figments of her imagination. After all, she and Jack had agreed that to acknowledge them might put a hex on their magical physical joining. They'd ended when Jack pushed her away and she'd started dating Pete. Eight months later, they'd begun again. The trouble was she didn't know if she was unconsciously summoning Jack to her bed or visa versa. In the past they'd mutually participated because it'd been just that, mutual.

Being engaged to Pete, Sam refused to admit anything of the kind. Maybe they were dreams, nothing less. Either way, they came nightly now, each one more vivid than the last. Jack was holding her, pleasuring her beyond the point of no return. She could smell his earthly scent and feel his hot breath fan her flushed face. Sam's fingers sifted through his unruly silver hair, her nails scrapping his scalp, drawing a groan from his lips.

Sam tried to resist. Resist his masterful kiss, his shrewd touch and his predatory brown eyes. She couldn't. The next moment she experienced an orgasmic explosion that rivaled blowing up a sun. Her heart painfully ramming her ribcage and her sweltering limbs tangled in sheets, Sam awoke to the stark darkness of pre-dawn and a cold, empty bed. She cursed her failure to control her feelings for Jack. Bringing her hands to her face she inhaled his scent on her. Impossible!

She was relieved Pete wasn't here tonight. Man, she felt like a cheating whore! Angry, Sam swiped away her tears and blurry-eyed stalked into her library and powered up her laptop. Yawning, her gaze rested on the computer's clock and she grimaced. 0420 Hours.

Guess she'd finish that report on P2X-777.

**SGC – General Jack O'Neill's Office **

Jack's '_Crap List'_ was actually his former, hard-covered, blue military/personal _'Journal' _he'd started when things were still great between him and Sam, like oh, about sixteen months back. It had since been secretly reclassified his _'Crap List'_ and most often set on his desk in open view. Coz, no one dare touch anything on the '_Man's'_ desk, except Walter, and even he didn't dare glance behind the cover of said '_Journal_.'

As he sat going over his hen-scratched list Jack realized he was getting redundant, but then maybe it was that over fifty thingy. Whatever. So he started from the day the he woke up with the weird feverish hangover from hell and realized he still had no life with Carter.

'_Yep, no bones about it, I'm impotent—again! Well, except when thinking or within eyesight or scent of one Samantha Carter. I can't explain it. It's not like I don't think about women and sex. Heck, I'm a man after all. It's just unless my thoughts center around Carter there's no action below the belt. Nada. Nothing. Zippo! And I'm certainly not going to tell anyone, even the guys. It's too freaking embarrassing! _

_For the record, Carter continues to date Petty! _

_A lot! _

_Walter ordered a case of Tums! _

_The base got plums. _

_I broke down and started taking antidepressants to control my over active libido around Carter. Seems to have taken the edge off and I smile even when I haven't taken a dump in days. Did I mention they make me constipated? _

_Teal'c's seeing Ishta again. The lucky stud! Let's face it, that warrior woman's hot!_

_Petty transferred to the Springs without consulting Sam. Idiot!_

_Petty proposed to Carter. _

_It took her two weeks to accept, and she was honorable enough to tell me and ask my humble opinion. Yeah, I should have seen that one coming. I did, just not that soon. I can't believe I thought I had time to win her back. Then again two freaking weeks to decide if you want to marry someone! _

"_Hello! Is the air too thin up there for you, Sam? Are you wacko?"_

_Apparently! _

_And so the honorable flyboy I am, I let Carter go gracefully, went home and got snookered. Again. Peachy.' _

His mind back-stepped to that life altering conversation in Sam's lab, when the inevitable had come.

Jack watched Sam struggle to say what they hadn't discussed in ages.

"And what about you?" she hesitated, "If things had been different?"

' "_I'd be retired, Sam. I'd be your lover and husband, the father of your—our kids! I'd be the one you'd leave them with while you went to work—off world. I'm in love with you, Samantha Carter, have been for over eight years and counting. Crap! Do I have to paint you a freaking picture?" '_

But Jack didn't say anything of the kind. It wasn't her fault they weren't together. They'd each made choices that had brought them to this bittersweet moment. He dropped his façade and stared into her electric blue eyes, hoping she saw his desperate need for her, his unconditional love.

"I wouldn't be here," he'd said decisively.

For a heart rendering breath they'd held one another's perceptive gazes. Jack realized he had opened the door to their '_room' _and given her permission to say to yes to Pete.

The ball was in Sam's court.

When their joint gazes dipped to the jewelry case he turned and quietly left her sitting there. Left hoping and praying that whatever her decision, Sam would be happy. Because no matter how much it emotionally bankrupted him, all Jack O'Neill had ever wanted was for the woman he loved to be happy.

Yeah!

Right! He snapped back to the present and felt far less sentimental or forgiving toward the woman he loved. She'd chosen someone else. And then this weekend he'd been dragged, kicking, but not screaming to her engagement party. Jack had felt betrayed that Daniel would host the party. But then Sam had few girlfriends and Cassandra had insisted he show. So, he'd agreed to stop by for a beer. Nothing more. After all, it was about Sam being happy and for her Jack would do anything. Of course Daniel had to make certain Jack intended to show.

Around 1800 hours Friday, Daniel occupied Jack's doorway with a book to his nose as Walter skidded past him trying to exit.

"Daniel?" Jack waved a hand at him. "Let the man through wilya."

"Oh, um, yeah sure . . ." Daniel stepped aside and smiled at the Sergeant. "See you tomorrow at Sam's, Walter." Daniel inserted.

"Sure thing. 1400 sharp." The Sergeant smiled as he walked away.

"Something I can do for you?" Jack knew the answer as he powered down his laptop.

"Yeah." Daniel glanced back to the empty Briefing Room before shutting the door and then crossed the office to close the hallway door.

"Closing the doors." Jack sighed out as he stood and picked up his briefcase and then proceeded to toss selected folders and files into it for his usual weekend of casual reading. Yeah right.

"Um, yes." Daniel set down his book and exercised his anxious gesture of extended wiggly fingers followed by repeated thrusts of his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I'll be there, Daniel."

"Oh, well, um, great!"

"Anything else?" He snapped shut the briefcase and then his laptop case before looking up at his buddy.

"Yeah." Daniel grimaced.

"We can talk on the way to the elevator." Jack slipped on his leather jacket.

"Rather we talked here." Daniel pressured. "Less ears."

Jack glanced at the wall clock and frowned.

"You're already in your civvies." The linguist gestured to Jack's sweater and casual slacks.

"Got a date." He winked.

"You do?" Daniel's face flustered.

"Ah, don't faint on me." Jack rolled his eyes. "Poker night with Sheriff Williams and friends. You're welcome to join us." Daniel hated poker.

"Um, no, but thanks." The linguist breathed easier.

"Daniel?" Jack leaned on his desktop. "Spill wilya?"

He nodded and let out an obvious pained breath. "Okay. I know you're not thrilled with me and Teal'c throwing the engagement party at Sam's place."

"Excuse me?" Jack's hands waved him down. "I don't recall that being a topic of conversation between us—ever." He hung quote marks in the air.

"I know. But I know you, Jack, and want you to know . . ."

"Let it slide." He headed for the door. "Neither you or Teal'c owe me an explanation. Carter's our friend. And you and Sam are like Siamese twins. I expected you and Teal'c would doing something nice like this for her and Petty . . .um, Pete."

"You did?" Daniel gapped.

"Yes." Jack strolled over and patted him affectionately on the face. "That's what friends and family are for."

"Yeah. Well then why do I feel like a crappy turncoat?" Daniel sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Don't go there." Jack felt his chest tighten as he blew out his lips.

"This isn't right. That party should be for you and Sam—"

"Going now." He opened the corridor door and switched off the lights. He needed to end their morbid conversation, play poker and down some bruskies, anything to take his mind off Carter.

"Um, Jack?"

"Daniel?" Glaring now, he turned as they exited his office.

"You still believe and pray to God?"

"Yes." Jack's eyes rounded up. Their differences about whether or not God existed hadn't been discussed in years. The friends strolled the empty gray corridors toward the elevator. "So why you asking now?"

"Because I'm trying to understand why if one true God exists, would He let two deserving people like you and Sam come so close to finding happiness with each other and then repeatedly yank it out from under your feet?" He sighed as they halted by the elevator.

Jack thought a moment and sliced his card, then answered as the shaft opened. "If I knew that answer I'd be more the wiser, possibly even richer." He chuckled.

"That's it?" Daniel snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Hardly. For me it's a matter of faith. You and I have witnessed some amazingly cool and nasty things since we first met. Most of which defies logic."

"Well . . .yeah."

"Daniel, you and Carter are a lot alike. In order to believe you both need logical on-hands evidence. I don't."

"And I envy that, Jack."

He smiled and sniffed a breath. "I also don't believe God yanked anything out from under Carter or me. Although, He does let things happen to test our faith and that's why He's given humans free will. Right or wrong, Carter and I have made our own beds. I believe God blesses the faithful even the undeserving. Who knows, maybe my only blessings came when I had Sara and Charlie. And if that's it, so be it. But it doesn't mean I stop believing things could change."

"Good things come to those who wait?" Daniel mumbled.

"Some thing like that." Jack smiled.

"And if doesn't?"

"I go fishing . . .alone." Jack stepped into the empty elevator. "Because my real reward's not here but in Heaven. That's where all the action is, Daniel. Up there." He pointed skyward, entered the elevator and hopefully left Doctor Jackson with something to consider.

The party had been in progress over two hours before Jack showed. He'd parked down the street and recognized many of the cars lining the curb of where Carter lived.

Barbecue smoke wafted in the air, Rock and Roll music and laughter resounded from her backyard. They were celebrating and the reality of why almost made him hightail it back to his truck. He could always say he'd had a call to return to the base for an emergency. Too bad he sucked at lying.

Drawing a breath of reserve and with two gifts under his arm Jack opened Carter's front lawn entrance gate. It squealed! He frowned, wondering when was the last time the iron-gate got a dose of WD40. He suspected when he'd done it last year. He stood there absently swinging it back and forth, contemplating nothing.

"Dad!"

Jack looked up and smiled as Cassandra bounded off the front porch, onto the sidewalk and into his arms. He nearly stumbled as she clamped onto him like she was eleven instead of nineteen. She was also drop dead gorgeous and Jack intended to make sure no one hit on his little girl, at least while he was around.

"Wow, there, Sunshine!" He swung her in his arms, grateful that he was in shape for her horseplay.

"I'm so glad you came," she said in his ear. "Sam's been worried you wouldn't."

"Why?"

She looked at him as if his eyes glowed and when he felt her prodding his thoughts he shut down internally. Just because they could talk telepathically didn't mean she could poke around his head at will.

"Dad?" Cassandra frowned at him dejectedly.

"Please, Cass. I'm here. Don't expect anything more, okay?"

"Sure." She exhaled and linked her arm through his.

"Thanks." He braced a smile and entered the house with her.

"Oh, Dad?"

"What?" He saw the pile of gifts in front of the cold fireplace and set one gift among them, however the tall green package he set upright against the mantel, and then nipped his inner cheek wondering if it was the right thing to do. Giving it to Carter.

As he headed toward the backdoor, Cassandra leaned in and said quietly, "Please don't get upset over how Sam's dressed. I'm pretty sure it's Pete's warped idea."

"Fine." He normally used the '_fine'_ word when things weren't fine, and by the groan that left Cassandra's mouth she knew it too.

A few minutes later, Jack sipped a beer and supporting Carter's garage wall talked with Colonel Reynolds about different dog breeds. He'd yet to see Sam and forced himself not to search her out. Instead he glanced around at the friendly faces from the SGC. He felt the relaxed air among the coworkers that might not have abounded had George still been CO and shown up.

True, George wanted his people to enjoy themselves on downtime. Its just Jack had preferred this casual atmosphere he'd been striving to achieve since taking command. By the look of things it was working. No one had blinked an eye or saluted him when he'd arrived. Exactly how he liked it.

Unfortunately, he also noticed a distinct line drawn in the sand, so to speak. On one side of the small backyard was the SGC gathering and on the other, Pete's friends from Denver and new coworkers from Colorado Springs PD and Special Task Force Unit. Jack realized this would be a first of many engagement parties for the couple, this one work related.

"So if you're serious, sir, I'd recommend a black lab when the time comes, plus they're awesome with kids. Of course I know you like the German Shepard which is also a good family dog . . . "

Jack's head jerked back to Reynolds' last words and a crimson stain crept up the younger man's face as he gulped and looked at his shoes. The poor guy hadn't meant it intentionally. Heck, Jack knew most of the SGC had assumed that one-day this party would be for him and Sam, not Sam and Whatshisface.

"Well, thanks, Reynolds, I'll have to check into it. Coz sooner or later I'm going to get me dog, but you're right, I'm more into the Shepard." Jack smiled and was about to change the subject.

"Glad you could come, General. So ya like dogs?" Pete asked from beside him.

Jack turned to find Shanahan with Carter attached to his hip. Jack said a quick prayer and smiled at the couple, trying to ignore how Pete had his arm so tight around Carter's waist that she winced. Or maybe the wince was meant for his eyes only. He noticed his buddy Reynolds slinking away. The traitor! Jack snatched the colonel's forearm and casually yanked him back to his side, but not before hearing Reynolds mumbled curse.

Jack blinked. His mouth hung ajar as he understood Reynolds failed attempt to retreat. Carter was not her usual conservatively dressed self. He tried not to stare. Not because she wasn't hot looking, more like, he didn't like that there was so much for the general viewing audience. In fact he'd not seen this much Carter skin since their private shower party. She wore a black leather hip hugger miniskirt with a plunging white braless spaghetti strap number that revealed her flat tummy, pierced bellybutton and a—silver stud! When had that happened?

"General?" Carter's voice brought him back into focus. He blinked. Man was he glad Jacob or George weren't present. Jack was into a casual atmosphere for his people, but Carter had pushed the envelope. Heck that didn't begin to describe how he felt, angry for one. His blood pressure elevated.

"Oh," he stuck out his hand to Pete. "Congratulations. Um, this is a great party. Really great!" _Liar!_

Pete accepted his firm handshake, nodded and acknowledged Reynolds who pinched a smile of discomfort. Ever since Daniel's stakeout, Jack's 2IC made no qualms that he didn't like Shanahan in any shape, form or fashion, let alone engaged to Carter. And though he'd dared not address Jack's feelings for Carter, he suspected Reynolds voted for Jack being the only man in Carter's life.

"You look great, Carter." Jack waved his beer at her. '_Another bona fide fib! Although she'd look great in your bedroom dressed like that, Jack. Yeah.' _

"Thank you, sir," she said barely above a whisper.

"Yep, great day for a great party." He winced, wondering if there was another adverb to describe this crappy event. Yep. Crappy, just about summed it up.

"So you were talking dogs, General?"

"Yes, well, I've always had a soft spot for dogs and . . . cats." He shrugged and stuffed one hand into his jean pocket, trying to avoid Sam's revealing outfit, but not before delivering a look that didn't need interrupting between them.

He saw her swallow, shake her head, blush and look away.

"Whaat?" He felt his face further tense.

"That's a bold-face lie and you know it, sir." She challenged as if reading his mind.

'_You so don't wanna go there, Colonel.'_

"Am I missing something here?" Pete looked from one to the other.

"Yes." Sam eased from his hold. "I once had a cat . . ."

'_Du! So that's what she's talking about!'_ He noted Pete's fingerprints on her waist and closed his eyes. '_This is hard.'_ Strangely, he wasn't. Nope, he was just pissed.

"Not nuts about them myself. For one, they shed." Pete shuddered.

"Shred and spray." Jack inserted with a mock grin, thinking now as good a time as any to exit stage right. He came, he saw, he floundered!

"Well, I, for one, love cats. Why can't I land a man who likes them?"

Jack opened his mouth then shut it. His teeth snapped with the impact. He could imagine where this conversation might go. And why? He noticed Sam sucking down her beer. If and when Carter drank, her preference was red wine, Merlot to be specific. So, would she tell Pete the truth about Schrödinger? It probably depended on how much she'd drunk.

"A long time ago, the general gave me a kitten." Jack watched her brilliant wheels spinning—too late. He glanced at Pete who wasn't smiling.

"And you gave him away." Jack chose not to dwell to whom she'd given the cat, just another sore spot in his memory bank.

"I was never home, sir."

"Yes, well there's that." He acknowledged. "But I like cats, just not that '_cat'_ because he peed on my—"

"The point is," Sam nervously interrupted. "Schrödinger and the general didn't get along. Right, sir?" She gave her please agree with me look.

"Yep, that's the tail end of it." Jack drained his beer and turned spotting Teal'c and Daniel. '_Thank you, God!'_ Finally an answer to all those mental pleas he'd shot heavenward.

"Was it a female or tom?" Pete pressed looking at Jack.

"Um, big tom tabby." Jack sighed out, when Teal'c headed toward Cassandra. "I bet the old boy weighed in around twenty pounds. Right, Carter?"

"Um, yes." To Jack's warped emotional delight she donned the rest of her beer, and then reached over yanking Pete's from his hand.

"Okay, you two, how about letting the cat out of the bag?" Pete released a nervous laugh Jack assumed fake.

What was it about the guy that rubbed him wrong, besides the fact he was screwing Carter? He tipped his bottle at her. She gave him a dirty look and then a familiar voice piped up.

"Sure!" Daniel weaved toward them with a devilish grin. "Schrödinger was jealous of Jack. So whenever the SG-1 got together at Sam's, that nasty tom did something nasty to Jack. I remember um, what was it seven years ago or so, it shredded his brand new leather jacket."

"Ouch!" Pete seemed sympathetic.

"Yeah, but Sam replaced it." Daniel grinned too much.

"That's my Sammy." Pete reached out and kissed her cheek, then dove for her lips, but she jammed the bottle's mouth between them.

Jack felt perversely amused. Surely, she wasn't upset over a conversation that she'd instigated. Or not?

Daniel leaned into him, heavily. Jack smiled at Space Monkey. The problem with a tipsy Daniel was he rarely slurred his words. So, except for those who knew, anyone else would be hard pressed to notice Daniel had a buzz going. Some of their most intelligent conversations occurred when Daniel got hammered. The only problem was his sense of propriety and knowing when to shut up had left the building, along with his manners.

"Course, it proved an expensive Christmas for Sam, since she'd bought Jack the first jacket." Daniel piped in. "Jack bought Sam one too."

Bottle to her lips, Sam sputtered beer.

"Hey, you all right, hon?" Pete gently slapped her upper back, during which time Jack nipped Daniel's short-sleeved forearm.

"Ow!" Daniel jerked away from him. "It's true. And another time that cat sprayed your sweat pants when you were wearing them."

"Really?" Pete wore an incredulous expression and glanced at Sam who was chewing her lower lip like it was her last meal.

Feeling vindictive, Jack winked.

"Um, yeah. We, the team jogged together." Sam lied and Jack forced his head to bob in agreement, but not before he scowled.

"Naw, you two jogged every other morning at the Garden of the Gods . . ." Daniel removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"Daniel." Jack warned, but too late as the loaded linguist unloaded.

"Yep, I think what ended that cat's residing at Sam's was the night Jack fell asleep on her sofa." Daniel waved his bottle toward the house, "And the bad cat lifted his tail on Jack's lap. Ya know sprayed him down good!" Daniel snorted and started laughing. "If I'd only had my camera, course, I'd had to have been there first." He grinned evilly.

Closing his eyes, Jack pinched the bridge of his nostrils and prayed to be struck by lightening. Better yet, that Daniel got struck. When he dared to crack open a lid he wished he hadn't.

Sam looked like she'd been zatted while Pete did the math and, by the flushed hue on his fair complexion, he knew the answer. Jack decided not to hang around for the blowout.

"Well." He waggled his brows at Sam's gaping expression. "Don't know about you, folks, but I'm having a '_great'_ time on this fine day here in your backyard, Carter." He returned his attention to the loose-lipped smirking Daniel. "C'mon, Danny boy, let's get some food and coffee in your empty gut." He proceeded to drag the linguist away leaving Carter to cleanup the hairballs.

"So'd, I do good, Jack?" Daniel snorted as Jack kept him upright. Space Monkey glanced over his shoulder at Sam and Pete, who, Jack knew, were arguing.

"Excellent, Danny. Just slam dunking peachy." Jack shook his head at his hopeless romantic best friend. "Remind me to keep you on a short-leash."

Beer in hand Sam stood in her bedroom staring into the full-length mirror. Glaring to be precise. Screw General O'Neill! And why'd she have to start talking about Schrödinger? Because she'd wanted to rile the general? Yep. He had seemed too relaxed and accepting that this was her engagement party to another man. In fact, if he'd said _'great'_ one more time, she would have puked.

Thankfully, and because it was true, Sam convinced Pete that Jack had always made it a point to run with his 2IC two to three times a week. Jack could have easily corrected the misconception by sharing that he and Reynolds had been running together twice a week on the SGC track, since Jack appointed Reynolds his 2IC. But he hadn't. The louse!

Anyway, her gaze returned to the sleazy dressed woman glaring at her from the mirror. What the heck had she been thinking when she'd agreed to wear Pete's gift? The present being this ludicrous sex kitten outfit she'd only wear in a gutter-bikers bar and well, that was a sex fantasy she'd never shared with anyone, even the general.

She had to admit feeling those eyes on her, most of which were men, had given her a rush, that was until Jack saw her. She'd seen—no, felt his shock, disappointment, and disapproval.

"Of course, he'd disapprove, Carter. He's your superior officer. You are a lieutenant colonel in the USAF—and half your coworkers are here. How disgusting! No wonder Lieutenant Hailey had trouble looking you in the eyes. Not to mention Daniel, Teal'c and Cass's open mouths when you made your red carpet entrance."

Only Cassandra had enough balls to ask, "Sam, why you dressed so sleazy, so not you?"

Good question? The Samantha Carter she knew would never have given into Pete's plea to show off his girl. What was she, his Barbie doll?

"What are you, Carter?" She tossed aside the mini skirt and did the same with the clinging tank top through which her nipples had stood at attention. Heck, it was spring not summer. She'd been freezing in the skimpy outfit.

Just because she owned a few revealing dresses and skirts didn't mean she was comfortable putting everything on display—at once. Sam liked dressing feminine and feeling desirable. That didn't mean she wanted to advertise her wares. She'd never been into that fashion trend. When she'd discovered Jack—erm—the general didn't like unwrapped candy, she'd felt confident about her conservative dress preference. She recalled how he'd admitted to thinking how sexy she was in the Dorothy outfit all those years ago. "It's what I can't see that turns me on, Carter."

Sam continued to berate herself as she slipped back into a sports bra, comfortable jeans and lavender sweater set, feeling and looking more like Samantha Carter. With evening approaching, the air had chilled so if Pete gave her a guilt trip, she'd use the weather as an excuse.

"_Excuse me, Carter?"_ She could hear Jack's wide-eyed cynicism. "_When have you ever needed an excuse to be yourself?"_ Never around him, she snagged her lower lip with self-disgust.

Enjoying the defined buzz, she drained her sixth beer and set the bottle on the counter with a clank. And why did she need to be high to get through this _'great'_ party? Because she wasn't happy. She'd been faking her happiness for months and now on one of those _'great'_ days of her life, she felt miserable.

Staring at the heavy layers of eye makeup, and blusher and Drop Dead Red lipstick, Sam looked like a young Priscilla Presley. Geez, and Pete so wasn't Elvis!

Ten minutes later, face scrubbed and wearing her natural creamy foundation with light blusher, brown mascara, and a coral lipstick applied, Sam left the bathroom deciding she needed coffee. And like it or not, she needed to apologize to the general, she only hoped he'd not think less of her. Why was that so important?

"Still hungry, Sunshine?" Jack watched Cassandra devour her second brat with a relish.

"Umm, err, yaa," she mumbled around her mouthful.

"Wanna another?" He grinned, rested his chin on his hand and then swiped a napkin at the mustard on the tip of her nose, Carter's nose. Jack shook from his bittersweet revelry. Cass had also genetically acquired the O'Neill appetite and high metabolism.

"Um, yeah." Cass sucked on a can of pop.

"I'll getchaya one." He stood before she could protest. Besides he needed to stretch his legs and knees. Jack weaved his way through the guests. There were at least a hundred people in Carter's house and backyard, which made it shoulder-to-shoulder. Jack's introvert personality was close to losing it. Soon as the sun set he'd take one inebriated Daniel Jackson home.

"O'Neill?" Teal'c called out from the grill where he preformed the grilling honors. Jack had trained him well. The man hadn't burnt one dog or burger.

"Hey, Murray, great party." Jack smiled warmly as he stood inline. "And hat's off to the chef."

"Indeed." Teal'c smiled, well at least his lips quirked more than they'd have a few years back. Teal'c looked more human than some of the guests. The addition of hair helped, even if Teal'c had to wear that stupid ski-cap to conceal his tattoo.

Behind Jack, two of Pete's friends yapped and snorted.

"So whatcha think of Pete's bitch?" One man asked the other.

Every muscle in Jack locked up as he restrained himself from punching out somebody's lights. Who knew? Maybe Pete had a dog. His gut said differently.

"Hey, that's not nice, Mac. We don't know that for sure."

"Ahh, she's a fricking Air Force Colonel. You actually believe she got that far on her brains, not to mention how young she is?"

Yep, they were discussing Carter. His ex-wife! Jack saw red.

"True." The other snorted. "Pete says she's the best lay he's ever had and considering how much Pete gets around I believe the lucky stud. Said she was pretty green until he taught her a few things. I wonder if she's a real blonde and she's built like a brick shit house. Man, I've had a boner since we got here."

"Excuse me?" Jack faced them with a deadly glint that would make a System Lord wet his pants, then waved his right hand in reprisal. "I'm General Jack O'Neill and the female officer you just slandered is under my command and her integrity is above reproach! For the record, Colonel Carter acquired those wings repeatedly putting her life on the line so that you pathetic tit-suckers can stand here and exercise your freedom of speech!"

Watching the blood drain from their faces, not to mention that he'd spoken loud enough for most folks to hear, he charged off into the house and down the basement stairs. Soon as he'd cooled down, he was out of there. Yeah sure yabetcha!

Sam had been looking for the general. And from all the hoopla coming from the backyard, she figured she'd found him. Instead, she found a livid Pete and a snoring Daniel. Not to mention Teal'c had thrown down the grilling gauntlet and refused to serve Pete's friends stating, he had every right to extract their tongues with the barbecue tongs, preferably heated to an insanely high temperature. She also found Cassandra, Siler, Harriman, Reynolds and Jennifer Hailey along with other base personnel and Marines in a verbally shouting match with Pete's friends. One problem, the instigator was nowhere to be found.

Jack rummaged through Carter's organized basement wall shelves. He knew she had a can of WP40. Ah, yes! He stuffed it in his back pocket and then spotted one of many sealed boxes, but with '_J.J.O. Stuff'_ scribbled in her scrawl.

Curious, he knelt and opened the lid. He wasn't surprised at its contents. Yep, his stuff, which included clothes, CDs, DVDs and VCR tapes. His heart sank when he recognized _'The Wizard of Oz,'_ and _'Singing in the Rain.'_ Carter had boxed him up all right and intended to ship him out of her life for good. Well, he'd help. Swinging the box into his arms, he took the stairs and exited the front door unnoticed. Over the blaring music voices resounded from the backyard. He wondered what was up, but decided to take advantage of the commotion, oil the squeaking gate and sneak off.

Sam finally got the verbal riot under control but only after Teal'c and Cassandra filled her in. Teal'c's evasiveness hinted he'd left out pertinent details, but she'd deal with him later. Outraged, she confronted Pete and then left to find the general, that's if he hadn't already left. She couldn't blame him.

She walked around the corner of the house and found Jack bent over her front gate. When she spotted the WP40 in his hand she smiled, and her heart got stuck somewhere between her aching chest and tight throat. '_It's the little things, Sam_.'

"Sir?" She came alongside him.

"Oh, hi there, Carter." He didn't glance her way as he tested the gate, then handed over the spray can lubricate. "Good for another five-thousand swings." He stood and stretched his back with a slight grimace.

"Thank you." She put her hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Hey, think nothing of it." He locked the gate between them breaking their physical contact. Sam flinched when she noted the familiar box at his feet. Another pain jabbed her heart. She'd not intended for him to take it home. It'd been her box of special memories, but maybe this was best.

"I appreciate this," she indicated the gate. "But I meant '_thank you,'_ for whatever you said back there." She rolled her shoulder toward the backyard.

"Oh, that." He shrugged and she noted the color rising beneath his blue-shadowed face. "Just taking care of my own—I mean, SGC staff and officers." He failed to look in her eyes. "So, I'm heading out." His left dimple tucked in, but not as deep as she'd have preferred. He was upset. So was she.

In the general's infamous words, this sucked. Goodbyes had always sucked, especially with him. Sam felt tears warm her eyelids. "Sir, about my fashion indiscretion before. It was unbefitting an officer and won't happen again. I apologize if I embarrassed you and the SGC staff." There was no way she would admit it'd been her fiancé's chose of dress for her. Besides, no one had held her at gunpoint.

"Apology accepted, Colonel." His lips twitched as they always did when he was stressed. "Never saw that side of you before. Just surprised is all." He gestured toward her.

"Yes." She blushed. "Well it won't happen again. I promise. Now won't you come on back, I mean the evening just got started and—"

"Ah, no. I don't think Pete would approve. Let's face it, he's not fond of me and the feelings mutual." He pivoted to walk away.

"Sir, you didn't do anything wrong! In fact you defended my—," she looked away.

"Honor?" He gazed ruefully t her. Although she felt certain he noticed she'd changed her clothes, Sam watched his thin mouth pull to the left in that crooked grin that made her heart lurch. He approved and she loved knowing that she could make him smile. "Yes, I did, Carter, but I can't believe your fiancé . . ." He retrieved the box and muttered curse.

"What?" She wanted to know.

"Ah, forget it." He sniffed and jostled the box. "I've got a hot date with my telescope and a Guinness." He tipped his head to the clear night sky.

"Look, sir, Pete denied he ever said that crap and he let Teal'c show those jerks the door."

"Well, there you go." Jack shrugged, but she knew he'd not changed his mind about Pete. "Hey, get back to your guests and I'll see you Monday. Just make certain Daniel sleeps it off, wilya?"

"We've got designated drivers and Daniel's staying overnight with Teal'c and Cassandra."

"Good. Well then." He started down the sidewalk.

"Please, stay awhile longer?" '_Man, oh, man, was she begging? Yeah sure yabetcha_.'

"Can't," he said hoarsely over his shoulder.

The music drifted over the rooftop as Sam followed him. "Please? Besides, it's my birthday and you owe me a dance, ya know."

Of course he knew. She watched his shoulders slump in defeat. No it wasn't her official birthday, just the birthday that SG-1 and a certain Ancient named Orlin knew about.

"That's oh so lame, Carter." He chuckled and turned to face her, hugging the box.

"There's that." She mimicked.

"Okay, one dance." He followed her back through the rod-iron gate and set down his box. "But," he glanced toward the backyard. "How about here?" Then gestured to her front lawn.

"Sure." She smiled as he drew her into his arms and they moved clumsily on the grass to an erratic heavy metal song that had them laughing.

"No snorting." Jack smiled and his chocolate eyes flickered with mischievous.

"No loaded sidearm." She longed to weave her fingers through his short silver hair like she used to. But she no longer had that right and if she were honest they had no right being in each other's arms dancing.

"That I can't promise." He grinned. When the music changed tempo they turned somber. Jack's brown eyes closed and he exhaled through his soft mouth and she felt him tense up. Sam inhaled his intoxicating breath as it warmed her face. She felt the tingle spiral through her blood straight to her toes. She also felt his sidearm locked and loaded. She assumed he'd stop their dance and if he didn't, she should, coz Paul Anka's old love song was way too intimate.

"_Put your head on my shoulder Hold me in your arms, baby Squeeze me oh so tight Show me that you love me too"_

Jack knew he should end this—now. This was wrong on, oh, so many levels, but felt so right. Behind them the sun kissed the Colorado mountains farewell. The woman he loved followed his lead and then fulfilling his deepest desire, she put her head on his shoulder. Selfishly he stopped thinking and enjoyed the priceless moment.

"_Put your lips next to mine, dear Won't you kiss me once, Baby, Just a kiss goodnight, maybe You and I will fall in love People say that love's a game A game you just can't win If there's a way I'll find it someday And then this fool will rush in . . ." _

As Sam pressed closer, Jack dipped his face to that soft curve of her neck. He dared not kiss her, dared not! So he snuggled and heard her breath catch when he did.

"_Put your head on my shoulder Whisper in my ear, baby Words I want to hear Tell me, tell me that you love me too."_

'_Geez, Sam, what must I do to win you back? Can't you feel my heart hammering, begging for you to love me again?' _

"_Put your head on my shoulder Whisper in my ear, baby Words I want to hear, baby Put your head on my shoulder."_

Swaying to the music, they continued to hold tight onto each other until Daniel's slurred voice forced them a part.

"Erm, um hey, guys?"

Sam bolted from Jack. He cleared his voice but felt relieved it'd been Daniel instead of Pete or one of his sicko friends to find them in this intimate embrace.

"Sam, Pete's looking for you." He zigzagged and gestured behind him. "And Jack, Cass wants to talk before you go."

"Sure, umm, be right there." Sam offered up, bouncing her fists against her thighs.

Jack nodded and stuffed his hands into his jean pockets.

"Take your time." Jack heard the smile in the linguist's voice as he wobbled back to the party.

"Look, Carter?" He stepped closer and squinted into the dusk light. "I need to know Shanahan makes you happy." _'If you say yes, I'll walk away.' _

Happy? What defined happiness? Sam licked her lips, crossed her arms and met his intense brown gaze. Right now she felt happy, well had been, until he'd tossed that loaded question into her lap. Happy he was dancing with her, holding her with her head on his shoulder. Yeah, that made her happy beyond words. It seemed all they ever had were stolen moments like this and long as he remained base CO that's all they'd have. Whether it could be enough again remained the bigger question. It hadn't been enough for a long time and that's why she'd left, right? But when she considered her present lack of discontent, she knew she had settled for less.

Sam didn't want to settle. She wanted the considerate, cantankerous, honor-defending man standing in front of her. The man who'd oiled a rusty gate that should no longer concern him, but did. She was about to answer when Jack winced and looked away. Had she waited too long? What?

"Oh, there you are, Sweetie." Pete walked up and she sensed tension between the men. "General," his voice darkened with open annoyance.

"Pete." Jack nodded and turned to leave. "Again, congratulations to the both—"

"Apparently I interrupted something." Pete got straight to the point as he wrapped his arm around Sam and pulled her into him, a bit rougher than usual.

"No." She eased from his painful grip. "The general was saying goodbye."

"Wish I could believe that." Pete took a step toward Jack. "But after that disgusting outburst you pulled before—"

"Excuse me?" Jack stepped up to the challenge.

"Guys!" Sam slid between them.

"No." Jack put up a hand. "I've had enough of this tap dancing." He glared at Pete. "First off, Carter is my best SG team leader and a best friend. And if you haven't already noticed I take care of my friends. So I've a few issues I'd like you to clear up, Shanahan. One, is she really the best lay you've ever had?"

A gasp left Sam's lips. She saw red. Best lay? Where? What? That's not what she'd heard.

"They were drunk, O'Neill!" Pete defended, glancing nervously at Sam with his puppy dog eyes.

"Sounded pretty sober to me. Locker room chitchat aside, what you really said and what I heard, maybe got blown out of proportion." Jack was in his face. "So what I really want to know is do you make Carter happy?"

"Of course!" Sam blurted without thinking, wanting to end their verbal battle that was close to becoming hand-to-hand combat.

Jack's brown eyes rounded up, his mouth flat-lined. The fight went out of him.

Pete grinned and embraced her.

"Well, there you are." Jack donned his blank expression that masked his feelings, even from her.

For a moment, the three individuals stared at each other. Sam wanted to take back her lie and the last few minutes. And then a song that seemed perversely fated wafted from the backyard CD player.

"_My tears are fallin' 'cause you've taken her away, And though it really hurts me so There's something that I've gotta say Take good care of my ba-a-a-by Please don't ever make her blu-u-u-ue Just tell her that you love her Make sure you're thinking of her In everything you say and do-o-o-o"_

"Hey, see you Monday, Carter," he said in his, '_wow, that's great_,' tone. Sam watched helplessly as he scooped up his box, and then flung over his shoulder, "Take good care of her, Shanahan."

"_Well, take good care of my ba-a-a-by Be just as kind as you can be-e-e-e And if you should discover That you don't really love her Just send my baby back home to me . . ._

_"Aww, take good care of my ba-a-a-by Well, take good care of my ba-a-a-by!"_

The evening got suckier if that were even possible. Upon hearing that Jack had left without saying good-bye, Cassandra lashed out at Sam, blaming her for why, 'Dad's so miserable,' then left to go after him. Emotionally spent, Sam had neither the energy to defend herself or chase after her ward.

By midnight the house was empty save for Daniel and Teal'c who had found a bed to crash on. Pete hadn't been happy about them staying. Sam didn't give a rat's butt. So he decided to drive an inebriated friend home and stay there overnight. Sam didn't argue. Alone in her living room, she burned the colorful wrapping paper from their engagement gifts in the fireplace and tried not to think about the eventful party. Especially about General O'Neill.

It was then she spotted the present wrapped in emerald green tissue paper, resting against the mantle. She picked it up and noted its lightness, wondering how they'd missed this gift. When she tore it open, she found a fishing rod and reel. Her heart jammed in her throat, Sam gazed at the expensive emerald toned rod. With shaking hands she opened the envelope taped to the rod and read,

'_Happy bogus birthday, Carter! I held onto this way too long. Maybe you'll go fishing—with Pete. Always, Jack' _

Hugging the rod to her chest, Sam shut her wet eyes and rocked in place berating herself.

"O'Neill still cares for you more than he is supposed to, Samantha Carter."

Sam had no time to swipe away her tears before the imposing Jaffa. Teal had silently entered the room and now stood with his hands clasped behind his back, looking down at her. His sympathetic gaze, more than she could handle.

"Man, oh, man, Teal'c, what am I to do?" She sniffed against her hand.

"Tell him." Their wise friend tipped his head and when she nodded response, he left as quietly as he had entered.

"Dad?"

"Up here, Sunshine."

His telescope aimed at Venus, Jack heard Cassandra's used Mustang pull in, but did his best not to notice. He'd not wanted company, but knew when he'd left Carter's without saying goodbye to his daughter she'd either call or show. At least she'd not burned his mental ear this time.

"Thought I'd find you here." She took the deck's ladder to his world and stepped onto the observation deck.

"Beautiful night," he forced a casual tone and glanced back at her, spotting her blanket and pillow.

"Sure is?" She settled in the opposite folding chair once christened Carter's.

"Planning to crash with dad are you?"

"If I'm invited."

"Always. But I thought you were staying at Carter's."

"Change of plans." She dropped her blanket and pillow beside his sleeping bag.

"Why?"

"Party kinda went down hill after you left."

"Yeah, sorry about that incident with Petty-Paul's friends."

"Don't be. Reynolds and the Marines were just waiting for another chance to kick ass, but nothing else happened."

"That's a relief." He faced her, the street lamps offering just enough light to distinguish her pretty sullen face. "I had no intention to ruin Carter's day. I should never have gone." He snapped the lens cover onto the telescope and shut it down for the night.

"No! You'd ever right to be there, Dad. I'd hoped your coming would give mom a wakeup call. I can't believe she's still going to marry that creep! There's something about him. Something not right."

"Cass," he drawled and avoided the 'what's wrong with Petty' topic. Coz, he had a list a mile long. "I'm done interfering with Carter's personal life. She's made her choice, which means she loves the man."

"She loves you, Dad."

"There are different kinds of love, Cass. Maybe Sam's outgrown what we had. Face it. There's been nothing normal about our relationship from the get go. She wants normalcy and I'm not going to stand in her way."

"Normal? Geez, look at us, Dad. We're the most dysfunctional functional family in the universe. And if anyone's not normal it's me. Why I doubt I'll ever find someone who'll understand and accept me for who I am."

"Hey, what about Dominic?"

"Huh?" She leaned forward and stared at him. "Dominic's been out of the picture since Mom, um, Janet died. He couldn't take it anymore. I can't confide the truth of my life to him, let alone anyone, unless they work at the SGC. And let's face it, the pickings are slim to none."

"Hey there's someone out there for you, Sunshine, I know it." He urged her to sit beside him. She dropped onto her butt, pulled her knees to her chest and gazed at him.

"Yeah right. Name one man who I can come clean with and say, 'Hey my parents were abducted by an alien named Nirrti and forced to have sex . . ."

"Whoa there. Not always forced." Jack clamped his mouth shut, but admitted, "Your conception was the result of serious lovemaking."

"Of which I'm eternally grateful, but the fact remains, I'm an alien, at least technically and can't tell anyone the truth without Presidential clearance and an act of Congress. It's hard to have a personal guy-girl relationship when so much of your existence is based on secrets. And that's why I don't believe mom and Pete will or can workout. Let's face it, she can't even share a typical workday with him."

"We should pray that they can." He folded his hands behind his head and looked at her.

"You gotta be kidding?"

"No, kid, I'm not." Jack sighed with resignation as he kicked off his unlaced shoes and set them aside.

"So you're just giving up, tossing in the towel, waving the white flag?" She glared at him in the soft glow of the moon as he yanked a sweater over his head.

"Yes. And it's time you accept it, Cassandra." He reached for his warm beer and frowned at the half full bottle, then set it back down.

"Well this sucks! I never thought I'd see the day that General Jonathan James O'Neill would give up on anything, let alone the woman he loves!" She rolled on her side and got in his face.

"Careful!" He glared up at her. His weary voice matched his dark mood. "I'm too old and too tired for this romance crap, Cass. I've humiliated myself once too often over your mother and refuse to do it anymore. Besides, she doesn't love me the same way I love her. Maybe I'm a twisted father figure in her mind, and if so, I don't want to dwell on that sick possibility. Considering her and Jacob finally got their father-daughter act together."

"That's a line of dung!"

"Dung?" he mouthed, trying not to laugh.

"Don't sidetrack me! I saw you dancing on Sam's front lawn," her voice trembled. "And saw how you looked at each other, the way she touched you. There was nothing paternally sick in that embrace, Dad, and you know it."

"Well that was another fiasco, not to mention an unprofessional move on my part. A brigadier general dancing cheek-to-cheek with his subordinate. D'oh! What was I thinking?" '_Certainly not with the head on your shoulders, Jack.'_ "Have you any idea how that moronic act could ruin Carter's career?"

"Yes and for that reason, I hate the military! If not for their stupid fraternization rules . . ." Cassandra dropped her head on his shoulder and moaned her frustration.

"Hey!" He caressed her silky brown hair. "Those rules are safe-guards to keep officers in the same chain of command from doing stupid things like Sam and I did. Falling in love." He closed his eyes with a regret-filled sigh.

"Hah!" She lifted her head and winked "See?"

"What?" He blinked and glanced at her mischievous expression.

"You just admitted she's in love with you. Only a fool wouldn't see how much you two love each other. And yet no one at the SGC has ever written you up."

"Coz there's nothing to write up, Cass. We can't be arrested on feelings, but we can on our actions." There'd been way too many close calls in the past and he wasn't about to share them with Cassandra. Bad enough Jack believed he and Sam had broken the regs during downtime and off world. Well, that wasn't going to happen again. He'd see to it.

"Dad, you two are meant to be together! And I deserve to have my parents, have my family!"

Jack felt as if his heart had been ripped out. "Please, Cass," he reached down and drew her anger-stiffened body onto his lap. "I can't force Sam to chose me over Pete or any man. That's not the way I'm wired."

"I know. You're just an emotionally repressed, cantankerous old fart."

"Hey!" he said with an insulted tone.

"Who I wouldn't trade for all the fathers in the universe."

"Why thank you, Ma'am." He smiled into her hair.

Cassandra's grip tightened on him as she pressed her face into his shirtfront and sobbed.

"What's this for?" He cradled her delicate face and smiled with concern. Staring into his daughter's face was an emotional trip for Jack. There was a lot of him in those chocolate brown eyes, the small crevice between her brows, the dimple in her cheeks and chin. But her fair freckled complexion, pert nose, lips and heart-shaped face were Sam's, not to mention the voice.

"I'm afraid."

"Of what, Sunshine?"

"That if you give up on Mom, one day you'll give up on me."

"No way!" Another part of his heart broke. Jack drew Cassandra closer and rocked her like a child. "That will never happen. I promise. I'm your father, Cassandra. I love you more than life. I'm here for you forever and for always."

"Thanks, Dad." she sighed out and kissed his blue-shadowed cheek.

"Think nothing of it." Jack hugged her to him and relished these special moments that made everything, including losing Sam, bearable.

Sing?" she murmured.

Jack smiled against her warm wet cheek. He'd used to sing to Charlie. And the last time he'd sung to Cass had been after Janet's death. Almost every night while she'd stayed here, he'd sung until she fell asleep. A tradition that had started after the rescue from Nirrti almost nine years ago, and had became a secret bond they shared. Even Carter didn't know. It remained a selfish deed on his part and he coveted it. So did Cassandra.

Settling back into the sleeping blanket with his nineteen-year old daughter's long legs against his hip, Jack stroked her tensed spine and sang, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, You make me happy when skies are gray You'll never know, Cass, how much I love you, Please, don't take your sunshine away. You are my sunshine, my only . . ."

Somewhere around the fourth chorus, Cassandra's breathing slowed and Jack realized she was out cold. Reaching over, he pulled her blanket around them and arranged his aching old bones on the hard surface of the deck. There was a reason he rarely slept rooftop anymore. And one of the few things he didn't miss about being off world. Yep, his body would hate him in the morning, but for now he was stargazing and holding his beautiful, sleeping daughter and well that alone, was worth it. Yeah!

Sam sat in her car across the street from Jack's. She had worked up enough nerve to follow through on Teal'c's advice, until Cassandra pulled into Jack's driveway.

Realizing that her ward had chosen to spend the evening consoling Jack intensified the hurt and anger that strangled Sam's heart. She tried her best to be a substitute for Janet but felt she failed miserably. The truth was, her relationship with Cassandra had been considerably strained since Sam started dating Pete. Pete made little effort to include Cassandra in their lives. Sam was the one who invited Cassandra to spend time with them. And she'd made it clear that the extra bedroom which Sam and Cass had decorated last year was Cass's domain when she came home.

Worse, Pete made no bones he thought Cassandra was a spoiled brat who needed a good spanking and he was more than willing to perform the disciplinary act.

Sam recalled before Jack went Ancient Pete and Cassandra got into an argument playing chess. It probably didn't help that Cassandra was winning.

"You can't move your horse there." Cass chastised Pete.

"Horse?" He gaped at her. "What idiot would call a roc . . .a horse?"

"The _idiot_ who taught me to play chess." Cass snapped back.

"Oh," Pete looked ashamedly over at Sam. "Sorry, I didn't know you referred to them as horses, hon."

"I don't," Sam defended. "But they do look like horses." She smiled at Cassandra who was about to checkmate Pete.

"Then who taught you?" Pete glanced back at Cassandra who was looking diligently at the board.

"My dad." Cass moved her queen and took his king. "Colonel Jack O'Neill. Ah, checkmate!"

"That was an illogical, underhanded move!" he accused.

"I learned from the best." Cassandra winked at Sam who couldn't suppress her smile.

"Why you spoiled little brat!"

"Bite me!" Cassandra stood to leave the table. "And don't you ever call Jack an idiot again! He's way smarter than you'll ever be!"

"Hey, I'm sorry," Pete called out.

"Whatever!" And with that, Cassandra tromped out of the room and had not given Pete a second chance since then. And if she were honest, Sam knew Pete never tried to reconcile with her ward.

And yet good, faithful father figure Jack was always here for Cassandra, far more than anyone but Sam realized. He never bragged about his better child-rearing skills, let alone of their joint custody of Cassandra around base. In fact, most folks probably were clueless as to how close he and Cassandra were. Well, with the exception of SG-1, General Hammond, Walter and Siler.

A good half an hour passed before Sam left her car. Her stealth movements were undetected in the darkness and she climbed the deck's ladder assuming Cassandra had opted for her bedroom. Sam hoped to find Jack alone, hoped they could talk it out. She'd even spend the night if it meant . . . Sam halted abruptly and stared at the father and daughter. They were asleep facing the ladder. Cassandra on her stomach sprawled in her usual sleeping manner, hogging the blanket, pillow, and no doubt drooling. Sam smiled.

Jack slept beside Cass a palm splayed possessively on her right arm, his neck turned in a noticeably uncomfortable position against the deck rail. And still, he appeared as content as she'd seen him in a long time. It was a beautiful father and daughter's Hallmark moment. Sam's heart lurched. Exhaling, she glanced at her watch. Almost two a.m. She had no intention to wake them. Her gaze returned to Jack's peaceful expression, his silver hair standing on end, his dimples barely noticeable, let alone the cress between his brows. He looked a decade younger. Which reminded her just how long they'd known each other, loved each other.

But that was the past and this was the present. Try as she might, Sam couldn't convince herself to stay and shake things up any worse than they already were. For once she decided, Teal'c was wrong. Jack giving her the fishing rod was his way of saying goodbye. And besides Cassandra, they no longer had any business in each other's personal lives. Fighting tears she back-stepped the ladder's rungs and walked away. What she wouldn't give to be sleeping between her daughter and husband, wrapped in Jack's arms. Yeah, what she wouldn't give.

Jack released the pained breath he'd been holding and opened his eyes. Sam had come, but for him or Cassandra? Had it been for Cassandra, Carter would have awakened them. He decided to go after her.

Lifting his head, he flinched when a sharp pain shot down his cervical cord. A Charlie horse! Ow! He winced and tried to turn his neck. Crap! That hurt!

He eased away from Cassandra who mumbled and flopped onto her back. Jack hurried to the ladder, too late. Across the street, Sam entered her car and drove off. Why hadn't he spotted her sooner? Darn his luck!

A cool wind picked up and the temperature dropped. Jack was tempted to wake Cassandra so he could sleep in his comfortable bed. When she smiled in her sleep, he didn't have the heart to wake her. Rubbing his sore neck, he settled beside her and yanked some of the pillow away. "Pillow hog." He tried to get comfortable and she snuggled against his shoulder.

Between his aching neck and knowing Sam had been on the observation deck, Jack didn't sleep. Man, what he wouldn't give to have his wife asleep between him and their daughter, wrapped in Sam's arms. Yeah, what he wouldn't give.

_CHAPTER SEVEN_

Jack's Crap List continues . . .

'_Had to see the chiropractor a week straight after Cassandra's sleepover on my observation deck. Neck's still killing me. Geez, what we don't do for our kids. _

_Since the engagement party from Netu, I've become a workaholic and chiefly live on base. For the most part, my libido remains as dead as a doornail. Well, except when I'm around Carter and there's that one-week a month—and I still get depressed and nauseous when I'm away from her more than a few days. Of course, I just chew more Tums and drink more beer. Consuming antacids and beer has proved counter-productive. Now I just belch and fart a lot. I really like the automated room deodorizer Siler got me. It's a lifesaver! _

_Oh, Carter stays on base more, well, other than when she's home with Petty in her bed._

_Carter's getting married!_

_Fifth and Replicarter visited earth. She and Sam got along like sisters. Big mistake! Fifth and his Bugs tried to attack earth. Carter's twin cheated on Fifth and blew him to Kingdom come and then escaped minus an arm and now is Queen Bee of the Replicators. No doubt she'll do a repeat performance in the galaxy nearest you. Soon._

_Carter blames herself for the entire incident. I tried to console her, but the truth is, it was her fault. What the hell had she been thinking? _

Carter's getting married! 

_And then I met Joe Spencer and life took an all time nosedive. The ruined man had had a window-seat view to my head and heart for the last eight years! At least the Air Force got Joe straightened out, reimbursed him for losing his Barbershop business with interest and the most important part, I helped reconcile him with his wife and son. I envy the guy. Joe has a beautiful wife and a son who love him. If only.'_

Reminiscing, Jack sat back in his chair and closed his eyes.

Within moments of Joe ruining his potential love life, Jack and Sam had been talking on the phone. The awesome thing was she'd called him from base that Saturday when she'd been babysitting a project. There was no mention of Pete and Jack took that as a sign from God. After all, she'd called him because as she'd put it, she was bored. They'd talked non-stop while he drove into town and bought groceries and decided to invite her for one of his famous O'Neill omelets.

For over an hour they'd yapped like they used to and never once discussed work. It was excellent! Jack beamed like a little kid who had found his favorite lost toy. They'd flirted. Discussed the Simpsons, hockey, motorcycles, astronomy, gardening, and cooking and even fishing. Sam questioned if there were real fish in his pond? He responded that she'd have to come to the cabin and find out.

To his surprise, she said, "Guess I will, _Jack_."

And then they were talking omelets and his secret ingredient. Of course she knew it was beer. Like that was a surprise. He strongly sensed Sam wanted a private conversation and hoped it was to say she'd split with Pete. He felt certain he was about to hit a home run as they tossed around a time to meet. Jack couldn't meet Monday, coz he had a meeting with someone from the Oversight Committee. And then that moron Joe walked into his house waving a water pistol. And once more, Jack's life went to Netu in a hand basket.

The next time he saw Sam, he had to silence Joe about spilling the beans of how he felt for Sam, let alone Joe almost told Sam to drop Pete! The guy meant well, but when Sam realized that Joe knew everything, she distanced herself emotionally from Jack.

That night Jack took advantage of his transporter from Thor and beamed himself to his cabin for some serious R and R.

_Dealing with Grace . . ._

It wasn't unusual for Jack to go for a walk in the middle of the night, especially at his cabin. Trouble being another person occupied his Minnesota sanctuary and sneaking off without getting caught was a no win situation. So he engaged his black ops skills and carefully and painfully crawled out his bedroom window. Dang! He was no kid anymore.

After his booted feet hit the ground softly, Jack cracked his neck back in place, zipped his leather jacket and donned his black knit cap. The spring nights were still nippy and he relished the crisp air that cooled his lungs. He couldn't go far and walking onto the creaking dock would awaken Daniel.

Jack was still stunned that Daniel had actually accepted his invitation to come along. The first in eight years. Had he known the linguist planned to say yes, he wouldn't have asked. He'd really wanted to be alone. Somehow he figured the fact they'd beamed over had made the decision easier for Daniel. Coz, if he got bored, Jack could always transport him back to the SGC.

With determined strides, he tramped the familiar shoreline until he came to the quiet inlet where he and Charlie used to swim. Perching on a rotted tree stump, he took in the sounds and silence of the surrounding forest. Besides an occasional hoot owl, the loudest sound was the soft lapping of the waves against the shore.

'_Ah, peace at last.'_

He tilted his head toward the moonlit sky and tried not to think about the list of catastrophic events that had brought him to this lonely post in his life. He failed. Chaffing his hands, he blew on them watching his breath cling to the air, like the words that fell off from his lips. "What's life without someone to share it, O'Neill?

"Geez, ya you've become a sentimental fool! Fifty-two going on eighty-two." Jack not only felt old, he felt freaking useless. He'd wanted retirement for years and now that he had the form on his desk awaiting his signature, he was afraid to sign that dotted line. He wouldn't see '_her'_ anymore, lest not on a daily basis. He hated to admit it, but he was addicted to Carter and withdrawal would be a bitch.

"Let's face it, Jack, the main reason you've hung around these last few years is because of her. And during that time, you've fought and defeated some of the galaxy's most dangerous jackasses, died, and been revived more times than you had a right too. And here you are in the autumn of your life and the one person you fought hardest to protect and live for isn't yours to have, and never was."

He'd been so certain that God had told him to let Sam fly and that she'd come back to him. What a joke! If he'd not given Sam so much room to spread her wings and fly she wouldn't be marrying Pete, right? Now what? Dang if he knew. And that's why he'd retreated to his haven. In two days he'd have to face Sam. He'd left without so much as a goodbye. She had to realize she'd upset his applecart. He hoped she was miserable too. Why'd she have to meet Pete, love Pete, sleep with Pete? Jack hated Pete? Jack hated himself more!

Muttering a string of expletives, he reached into his leather jacket's pocket and removed the silver flask with his engraved initials. J.J.O. The flask was a gift from Carter after his promotion to brigadier general. She'd given it to him the same day he'd promoted her to lieutenant colonel and pinned his polished eagles on her shoulders with the pride not only of her CO, but the man who remained desperately in love with her.

Until now, he'd drunk once from the flask that still held the original expensive twelve-year old premium Scotch. His favorite. Only one person knew Jack drank Chivas Regal Whisky. Sam. He tipped the cool flask and let the smooth liquor score his throat and fill his empty gut. Afterward, he traced a blunt finger along his engraved initials and the stars that symbolized his new rank. But it wasn't this engraving that put his heart in his throat.

Tipping the bottle, he squinted into the moon's light and repeated the smallest engraving he'd ever seen. Even Daniel would need a powerful magnifying glass to transcribe it. Just before he and Daniel had beamed over to the cabin, via an Asgard transport device, Jack had snuck into Sam's lab and borrowed her magnifying glass. He'd assumed she figured he wouldn't notice the inscription or when he did, it'd be somewhere in the distant future when it would only make him melancholy.

'_To Jack, the one safe bet, I foolishly lost. All my love, Sam.' _

Foolish! Nah, he was the foolish ass. "And now she's engaged to Whastshisface. And yet, she's my wife. Not anymore, Jack!" Talk about cliché. Four months ago he'd signed the Chulak Marriage Fracture document Teal'c had acquired for him.

When Teal'c asked if Jack wanted the hand-written Jaffa document translated he said no. He pretty much had the jest of the contract. The annulment was only invalid if he and Sam had made love on their wedding night four years back. Since there'd never been mutual closure on that issue, Jack considered it a moot point. Apparently, so did Sam.

When a maverick tear tracked down his cold bristled cheek, an unexpected warm breeze dried it and caressed his face. Jack froze.

Wow! It'd happened again. One moment he was contemplating his miserable existence and the next he was looking at Grace. Jack screwed his eyes shut, stuck his fingers in his ears and hummed.

Ah, it appeared to be working. Silence. Cool!

Other than the sweet childish mirth of her laughter Grace rarely spoke. Well, there was that singsong, "_Twinkle, twinkle, little star . . ._" Almost as annoying as Urgo's, "_Row, Row, Row Your Boat_." And she'd often ask, "_Wanna play?_" or blow bubbles at him. Then, there were the times she was dressed as a ballerina or in a hockey outfit, including skates, helmet and stick. Jack admitted she was cute. He just wished he knew why she haunted him, especially as he never knew a little girl named Grace, whom he'd come to call Gracie. Stranger, he'd always known her name.

Her appearances had begun when Carter got stuck on the Prometheus. Grace first materialized in his office right after he'd verbally assaulted Daniel in the elevator. Next in the SG-1's locker room after Teal'c had tried to console him. Grace had spoken in riddles something about, he deserved to be happy, and not letting the one bright star in his life slip through his fingers. She even talked like Carter, including _'you know, Holy _

_Hanna_h' and _'Man, oh, man.'_ Way too weird. And, what really freaked him out was how those familiar blue eyes seemed to look right through him.

Later after Sam's return, when Jack had been waiting for her to awaken in the infirmary he'd opened his eyes to find Grace perched on Sam's bed, watching her sleep.

The long curly haired girl had turned to him and said in her singsong voice, "The lost bright star is found, but tarry not, before it eludes your lover's grasp." And then she'd vanished.

Of course, he'd never told a soul. The last thing he needed was another visit to Doc Mackenzie. Since then, he'd seen Grace periodically, mainly when he or Sam were in a life and death situation or like now, as he indulged in his pity party. Then there was his three-month frozen Popsicle state-of-mind after going Ancient. Grace had kept him company.

One of the last times Grace appeared he'd had the terrible decision of whether or not to blow up the Prometheus with SG-1 onboard. He only saw her for a fleeting second, but she said something that helped him. "Don't!"

Since then, she'd floated in and out of his life. Sometimes he'd see her skipping down the SGC corridor or bouncing the mini basketball into his office door's hoop.

During Rya'c's wedding when half the population of Hak'tyl had invaded the SGC, he'd spotted Grace playing with the other children. Ironic that she chose to appear when he and Sam were discussing how to get rid of the stinking menagerie. Also ironic that right after that, Jack found himself holding Sam by her arms. The sexual tension between them could have started a fire. And yet, here he was alone, without her.

The evening Sam told him Petty had asked her to marry him and broke Jack's heart, he'd wandered the SGC like a lost child. That night, Grace appeared at the end of the Stargate's ramp with a golf club giggling as she hit a ball into the event horizon. She'd seemed so proud of her accomplishment and that's the first time Jack heard the word that made him take serious notice of this adorable apparition. She'd turned to where

Jack stood, grinned, and just before she vanished, she'd asked, "How'd I do, Daddy?"

Yeah, that night he went home and got bombed out his gourd, and dug through his paperwork at home and found their Chulak wedding license. Yeah, even the Jaffa had a legal marriage document. Jack glanced at it and winced. The only thing he understood was where he and Sam had signed their John Hancock's.

Oh, yeah, drunk as he was he clearly heard an eight-year old girl whisper in his ear. "Big honking booboo! This is just wrong on so many levels. Geez, don't sign!"

Ignoring her less than original phrasing, Jack brought the license to work and told Teal'c to do whatever it took to annul the wedding vows.

Teal'c was not so willing, let alone happy. He insisted they had indeed consummated their marriage. Jack argued even if they had what was the point, Sam was engaged to Pete and Jack wasn't a bigamist. The Jaffa reluctantly agreed to take care of it. Jack insisted the sooner the better.

Teal'c had argued, "There are very strict rules on Chulak. It is one thing if the marriage bed was in our understanding, _not made_, then it is only a matter of paperwork. However, if you and Samantha made the marriage bed, you both must appear before the marriage council and state your rationale to nullify the union. On this occasion, it would be infidelity."

Jack hadn't thought about that. "T, she didn't cheat on me. There has to have been an existing relationship, a true marriage for that to happen. We never even lived together."

"You do not feel betrayed by her actions, O'Neill?"

He winced. Sure he did, but not the way Teal'c thought. "I pushed Sam away, T, gave her permission. I told her to get a freaking life. If anyone betrayed someone, I betrayed Sam by lying about how I felt."

"Then, this is indeed a serious matter, O'Neill."

"No, Teal'c, it's a dead matter. Over and done with, understood?"

"No. I do not understand, O'Neill."

"Then I'll put it so you do understand, T. Get me that stupid annulment document, so I can get myself a fricking life!"

Despite the Jaffa's scowl of disapproval Teal'c knew better than to push the matter. Two days later, Teal'c presented Jack with foreign language paperwork. With a shaking hand, Jack signed his name and dated it. Soon as Teal'c left his office, Jack hightailed to his private bathroom, lost his breakfast and wept. He hated the fact that Carter could reduce him to a bawling idiot, blowing his nose in government TP. Calling on his military reserve Jack bit the bullet and returned to duty with none the wiser. Well other, than Teal'c who seemed more than aware of Jack's bathroom visitation.

Life went on.

More often than not, Jack didn't think about their wedding night anymore. Far as he was concerned, he and Sam hadn't consummated their nuptials, although he knew otherwise. But long as she denied it, he could too. But he couldn't forget the vibrant flashes of scents, sounds, feelings of the emotional and physical nature. What he wouldn't give to remember. But then what would that prove?

Too much!

Too little!

Too late!

Yep, the story of his futile existence.

Ah, yes Grace. Why did he sense she was still hanging around? Most often, she came and went in the blink of an eye, while her soft laughter or singsong bounced off the empty walls of his mind.

Dealing with Grace had become downright annoying.

"Oh, Lucy, I'm home." She giggled.

Jack winced, but tried to ignore the female mini-me-him. Whatever. Hey, that's it. Loki messed with Jack's DNA again! "Wait 'til I get my hands on that three foot, Frankenstein's scrawny gray neck, I—"

"Erm, excuse me?" Grace drawled way too much like him. "Some of us do have a bedtime curfew." He swore he heard her tapping a foot in annoyance.

Jack scrubbed a calloused hand across his unshaven face, into his hair and then peeled open one eye.

"Ah, crap! You're still here." He tossed his hands heavenward.

"Crap's gotta be your favorite potty word."

"Huh?"

"I said—"

Jack flagged her. "And you'd know that, why?"

"Geez, coz, I'm part of you." She skipped toward him, wearing a hot pink jacket, pink sequined blue jeans and tennis shoes. Politically correct be screwed. She looked adorable, exactly like he'd picture a little girl if he had one, pure femininity from head to toe. Yeah, well, then everything but her mouth.

"Dang!" Grace glanced down at her outfit. "This is just wrong on so many levels. Let's face it, she'd zat you, if she saw me dressed like a Barbie doll."

"Nah ah, watch your mouth!" He waved a finger. "Secondly, I don't give a rat's a—Er, um, besides it's my hallucination." Jack wondered whom, _'she'_ was? Of course, he knew. He just wouldn't admit it.

"Um, just between us." Grace looked down at her coordinated outfit. "I like it." She beamed revealing a missing front tooth.

"Sweet." He snorted. At least he wasn't talking to Charlie. He'd dealt with that for years after his son's death. Now he only saw and spoke to Charlie when he wanted to, usually in his dreams playing baseball or hockey. "Now go haunt '_her?_'"

"Can't."

"Why?"

"Coz, I'm not a ghost."

"Oh, nuts." Jack dropped his head onto his folded arms and glanced up. Yep, she was still here. He'd blame it on the Scotch but knew better. He couldn't help compare Grace's physical similarities to Charlie at that age. Charlie had Jack's golden brown hair and brown eyes, but he'd had Sara's ears, nose and mouth. This little beauty possessed the same brown hair, but someone else's mouth and the bluest of eyes. Even though he couldn't see them in the night's light, he knew they were bluer than Daniel's with that kiss of indigo just like Carter's. Carter! The revelation made Jack press the flask to his lips, figuring if he drank enough—

"Drinking won't make me go away, ya know." She tossed her curly locks and dropped down beside him, pulling her knees up to her chest. When Jack felt the heat of her hand brush his leg he got the whim whams. She felt real!

He glowered over the edge of the open flask. "Then you're a figment of my imagination."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"You're Daniel in drag!"

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Man, oh, man! Will you please stop that, sir?"

Jack blanched. "Oy! Now you're Carter." His most private of dreams had become a walking, talking, eight-year old, especially the talking part.

"Indeed." She chuckled and arched a brow in Teal'c fashion. "But not precisely, O'Neill."

"You're all of them?" He felt his brows hike into his hairline. He was definitely getting a headache.

"Geez, for crying out loud!" She tossed her delicate hands in the crisp air and imitated Jack's face scrub. "Must I draw you a picture, Daddy?" Her breath fogged the air.

"Dad . . .again." Jack's mouth opened than shut with the snap of his teeth. "This is a joke, right? Did Thor or Loki send you?" Jack glanced around expecting to see his little gray buddy.

"Nope."

"Then the Trust slipped me a hallucinogenic?"

"If you say so." She shook her curls and frowned. "You just don't get it. And considering you're smarter than the average bear it's quite annoying, ya know."

"Fine! I'm so not up to twenty questions. Who or what are you?"

"You've already named me. My name is Grace."

"We established that." He sniffed a breath.

"Well, I am your future or a part of it, if you chose me to be."

"Err ah? Did I mention I confuse easily?"

"Nope. But I knew that." She sighed. "You're also an old, cantankerous stubborn ass." She blew cheerios into the frosty air.

"Then you know, besides me pushing up daisies someday soon, you aren't in the future credits, kid."

"I am in your heart," she said softly placing a hand on his knee.

The penetrating warmth of her touch made him jolt. Either she was real or Jack was trapped in the Outer Limits. He glanced to where she gripped him and the emotions he'd thought to have finally stuffed were stripped raw and bare before his eyes. Jack felt the same rush of bonding when he'd first held Cassandra almost twenty years ago and then Charlie.

'Dear God, she is my child! Or could be!' 

"Now you're getting it, sir." Grace smiled up at him and did a chin tuck gesture that went straight to his heart. Sam!

"So what must I do to make you a reality, Gracie? Geez, did I just say that out loud?"

"Yeah sure yabetcha." She winked. "Tell her."

"Her?" He squinted at the dark sky and blew out another breath. Times like this he wished he still smoked.

"My mom, your godsend." Her hand left his knee and chaffed his cold bare hands. "The blonde, blue-eyed geek you have loved far longer than you care to admit, Dad. The woman you protected from Nirrti when she was four-years old. The woman with whom you conceived my big sister, the woman you married on Chulak."

"You talk way too mature for an eight-year old." He eyed her suspiciously.

"I'm allowed to be mature for now. Just wait until I come for real. I won't be patient or logical, let alone listen to you when I should."

"A brat huh?"

"Yep, you're going to spoil me rotten. I can't wait!" She giggled.

"Don't think so." He frowned. "I pride myself on being strict with my children."

"Whatever. That's not what Charlie says."

"Charlie." Jack's voice bottomed out.

"Yeah. He's up there with God." She pointed at the stars. "Charlie loves you, Dad, and says it wasn't your fault. He'd found the bullets and was just playing. . . . "

"Wow!" Jack snapped and tried to keep that painful memory in check.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, Dad. Charlie's happy. He knows that someday we'll all be together."

"Ah." Jack closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Now about you and mom getting hitched on Chulak with Uncle Daniel and Teal'c as witnesses."

"Not married anymore, Gracie." He looked down at her. "Besides, Sam's in love with another man." He shook his head with the bitter regret that had burrowed so painfully deep in his heart Jack swore he'd been stabbed. Geez, I wanted her happy, so I pushed her away. I let her fly and now she's engaged. It's all backfired. She was supposed to fly back to me."

"I know." Grace sighed out and propped her head against Jack's bent legs. "But she's not in love with Whatshisface. It's just a matter time before she and Petty split up. Course, it'd help if you told her how you felt. Now!"

"You gotta be kidding?"

"Not about that." She grinned up at him.

"Nice!" Jack did a hand pump before joy collided with reality. "But it's not as easy as you think, me telling her that is." Just the thought made Jack sweat. "There's been too much water over the dam, burnt too many bridges, too much too little too late . . ."

"Geez, Dad! Why is it you can snark off at a Goa'uld System Lord holding you at gunpoint, but you can't tell Mom how much you love her and I don't mean that evasive, forever okay always, line of bullshit?"

"Hey, stop swearing like me."

"I am you, silly. Which means you're going to have clean up your flyboy mouth once I'm born. And quit avoiding the question." She stared him down like Carter as he waited for Grace to punctuate her demand with a, "Please, sir?"

When she didn't, Jack started to direct traffic then clenched his hands to keep still. "I'm no good with emotions, Gracie, and yeah, when it comes to facing Samantha Carter, I'm chicken-shit." '_Dang, I swore again!'_

"Holy Hannah! She loves you, Dad. You have to invite her fishing!" For the first time he'd ever seen this child, she looked sad. Grace turned her head and stared up at him with pleading blue eyes. "Besides whatcha have to lose, General Jonathon J. O'Neill?"

"Yeah, guess nothing at this point." He paused. "Okay. I'll do it."

"Cool."

Feeling the slight pressure of her small head on his lap he reached down and threaded his fingers through her soft brown curls. They felt bona fide, as did her warm breath on his other hand. Jack shut his eyes, wishing, hoping, and praying that Grace could one day be his and Sam's daughter.

For an indefinite moment they sat like that and then to his surprise, she crawled up into his lap and snuggled. Jack drew the long legged little girl into his arms and held on tight and unconsciously started to rock her, like he used to rock Charlie. He felt Grace's heart thudding in unison with his own, her small warm fingers coiling around his neck as if reaching for a lifeline. Besides, Cassandra, it'd been so long since he'd held a child. His child. So long since he'd felt alive, content and most of all complete. Hot tears wet his face. Were they Grace's or his? He suddenly realized they were both crying.

"I can't come anymore, Daddy." She sniffed, pulled back and gazed up at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "At least not like this. But you must remember how much I love you and Mom." She swiped the back of her hand across her eyes.

"Excuse me?" He reached down and gently brushed away her tears with his thumb as he snuffed back his own. "Hey, we're just getting to know each other, Gracie O'Neill." He pulled her close, not wanting her to leave.

"_The Keeper of Stars_ said this is my last visit before my conception. I already visited Mom for the last time. She cried."

"You've visited Sam?"

"Uh huh. Ever since she got stuck on that big ship inside the nebula. That's when He first sent me to her and you. He doesn't do that too often, send us ya know."

"Us?" Jack drew her onto his lap and gazed into her sweet freckled face.

"The souls of the unborn. We usually hang around Heaven playing at His feet, napping in His arms and singing with His angels. That's until its time for us to be conceived inside our mommies' tummies." She drew a long breath and exhaled. "That's when He sends us to wherever our parents live."

"You mean the stork doesn't bring you?" He smiled into her hair and caressed her soft chilled cheek.

"You don't believe me?" She chewed her lower lip like Sam.

"Gracie, I've seen more than most people will ever see or know, so no reason not to believe. It's just—"

"I have to go now." She kissed him and despite his possessive hold she slipped off his lap and stood facing him.

"You're serious about this leaving thing?" Jack felt another pang twist his heart.

She nodded. "The only reason _The Keeper of The Stars_ sent me was so you and Mom'd realize what you could have together."

"And what's that?" Jack's mouth flat-lined.

"Me." She smiled. "And I've got a little brother waiting up there too." She pointed to the stars. His name's JJ, short Jonathon James O'Neill Junior."

"Nah." Jack shook his head. "That's impossible. 'Sides I'd never call my son Junior. That's why folks call Jack."

"Nothing's impossible with God, Dad. And for the record, Mom loves JJ for Junior."

Grace vanished.

Jack shot to his feet and looked about. "Gracie?" He spun in around, gaping into the darkness. "Dang!"

"Jack!"

Crap!

"Daniel?"

"Yeah. I've been searching for you nearly an hour." Daniel tramped toward him, scowling like an irate parent.

"Geez, can't a grown man get some fresh air?" He stretched and limped toward the archeologist.

"No." Daniel glanced around as if expecting to see someone else. "You could have been polite enough to tell me."

"You were asleep, Daniel. Forgive me for being too rude to wake you." Testy, Jack started tramping toward the cabin, but kept his eyes out for Grace.

"Hey, who's Gracie and who were you were talking to?"

"No one."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was—"

"Daniel." Jack drawled his name and slapped him affectionately across his shoulders. "I'm tired and cold. Let's get back in where it's warm."

"Well . . .sure, I guess. But I swore I heard a child, a girl actually." He peered suspiciously through his specks at Jack.

"You're nuts, Daniel."

"Know what I heard." Daniel muttered.

"So what ancient dialect does she speak?" Jack chuckled.

"Funny." Daniel still didn't seem convinced.

"Come on, we're beaming back to the Mountain."

"Hey, we just got here and you're on downtime."

"Yes, well, I've got some personal stuff to cleanup. Like calling in some markers from the President and getting Carter out from under my chain of command."

"You mean it?" Daniel halted and gasped.

"Yes, Daniel."

"Really?"

"I think we already established that." Jack grinned back.

"Wow! It's about time!"

"Yes, it is." He smiled feeling relived that he'd made the decision, even if he'd had some _minor_ help.

"But you haven't told Sam you love her have you?"

"That, Doctor Jackson, is going to be my final mission." Jack limped as fast as possible along the shore.

Daniel strove to keep up with Jack's long legged gimp, until his cellular rang. "Jackson here."

Jack halted and scowled at him.

"Yes he is. Sure, okay. We're on our way!" He clicked the phone.

"What?"

"Sam's made a breakthrough with the Ancient's time travel device."

"Great!" He scrubbed his hands. "Let's go."

"Can I at least get my books and stuff?"

"Yes, get your stuff. Now come on." Jack tramped eagerly ahead of him. "Hey, Danny? How would you like to be a Godfather?"

"You kinda got the cart before the horse, don'tcha you think?" Daniel guffawed as he matched Jack's long strides.

"Not really, Uncle Daniel." Grace giggled on the night air and nudged his glasses up his nose.

"Holy crap!" Daniel hightailed it, leaving Jack in his wake.

Watching Daniel's swift retreat Jack sniggered and winked at the heavens. "Ah that's, my girl! Night, Gracie."

"Night, Daddy."

CHAPTER EIGHT 

Twice, Jack tried to discuss personal issues with Sam and tell her about his visit from Grace O'Neill, their future daughter. She dismissed him with having to meet Pete and discuss _their_ wedding. Jack wasn't certain where he'd blown it until she stormed into his office the day after he'd returned from straightening out Joe's private life, and the same morning he'd just met Kerry Johnson, but hadn't given the pretty brunette a second thought.

"How dare you!" Carter slammed his office door.

"Excuse me." Jack watched the window rattle from the blow.

"You—you I can't . . ." She reached over his desk and flipped off the security camera.

"What's your problem, Carter?" Dropping into his CO mindset he directed her away from the Briefing Room's view.

"I just got off the phone with Joe Spencer!"

"Oh." Joe had promised he'd not tell Sam anything, that he'd let Jack explain. He was just working up to it that was all.

"For crying out loud, he talked to Pete, sir! Told him about _us_ and that he should go back to Denver and hand out parking tickets!"

"Oy! I'm sorry—"

"Man, oh, man, eight years he's been inside your head and you were inside his and you never told me?" She gave him an incredulous exasperated look.

"Coz, I didn't think it was real." He squeezed the back of his neck and honestly admitted. "I've spent enough time on Mackenzie's couch. Anyways I _didn't _know Joe was in my mind too." He extended his hand in admission. "I'll talk to him again. He won't tell anyone else if that's your concern."

"My concern?" She scoffed and bounced her fists against her thighs. "I'll tell you what my concern is, sir. Trust. Something I thought we still had. I'm engaged to a wonderful man who until today had no idea what's gone down between _us_." She waved a hand between them. "A man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me and doesn't ask anything of me, but to love and trust him."

Jack saw red. "And that affects _me_ how, Carter?" Jack's patience flew the chicken's coop. He ruled over her, glaring into her fiery blue eyes. "You come barging in here to lecture me on _trust_, Carter. That's a sick joke if ever I heard one! The day you '_hummed'_ pretty well stomped out any '_trust'_ I had in you, or us!"

Sam's angry expression crumbled before him and with it any chance he might have with her, crumbled at his feet. Grace was right he shouldn't have procrastinated. He should have told her first thing.

His tensed jaw slackened, his mouth opened with apology, but none came out. And then his promise to Grace screamed in his ears and his heart. "Sam, there's something I need to—."

"Off the record, sir?"

"Sure." He told himself to shut his mouth. He did.

"Stay out of my life, Jack! And for crying out loud, get your own!" With that, she marched out of his office and personal life. Again!

Before she even cleared the Briefing Room Jack shoved away Gracie's request to tell Sam how he felt. Furious beyond words, he pulled Kerry Johnson's business card from his billfold and dialed her number. Jack was about to get a life.

One week later:

CARELESS HEART 

**SGC – Officers Mess**

'_I had somebody, somebody who loved me. Someone so good to me You were my angel you were my heaven But, I was too blind to see. I let you slip away—I guess I never knew. I had the world with you. I'd be there, still be there in your arms.'  
_

'_If not for my careless heart You'd still be loving me If not for my careless heart, You'd still be mine. I wouldn't have this hurt inside. I wouldn't have these tears to cry. If not for my careless heart If not for my careless heart . . .'_

'_Damn sappy elevator music! Eh! Mr. Heartache himself—Roy Orbison. What lamebrain picks this music? Walter! Well, they'd talk—soon!_' Sam stabbed her fork into her cranberry muffin and shoved a moist portion into her mouth. She tried to concentrate on Daniel's incessant yapping about some hieroglyphs he'd found on P2X-285 last week. Instead, her attention focused beyond Daniel where General O'Neill sat in a corner table eating, and not alone.

Despite the fact Sam played dumb, she knew all about the other woman. Her name was Kerry Johnson, a CIA Operative from The Oversight Committee. Sam had seen them together a lot lately. Oh, there was a stack of a paper work between their breakfasts, but they'd not looked at it for a good thirty minutes. Because they were looking at each other.

'_I had my chances—I took advantage. I took it all too far. So now you're gone, and I'm all alone Alone with my lonely heart.'  
_

'_I let it fall apart—I didn't care enough. I lost your precious love. You'd be here, still be here in my arms. If not for my careless heart . . .'  
_

Crap! She tried to ignore the beautiful woman who was five years Sam's junior. She tried to ignore Jack's smirking animated features and how his dark brown eyes held that twinkle that she used to ignite. She tried to ignore the long moments between laughter when the couple would just stare at each other and then Jack would blush. Blush! Rarely did Jack O'Neill blush and when he did, well . . . it was usually for a private reason.

What bugged Sam more was that the blushing seemed mutual. She couldn't hear their exchange but noted how Jack would say something and the auburn haired beauty would flutter her long lashes and . . . blush! Sam saw how Jack's fingers brushed Kerry's hand. And sometimes, Kerry reciprocated. It was enough to slam-dunk Sam's appetite.

'_You'd still be loving me If not for my careless heart You'd still be mine. I wouldn't have this hurt inside. I wouldn't have these tears to cry. If not for my careless heart . . .'  
_

"So that's how I feel about. What do ya think? Should we discuss this with Jack? See about spending a month on P2X-285 tracing hieroglyphs on toilet paper."

"Um, sure. Whatever." She shook from her revelry, but not before she noticed that Daniel noticed where'd she been staring and what he'd actually said. "Um, sorry." She flushed.

"Forgiven." He shrugged and removed his glasses to clean them. "She's quite the head-turner, eh?"

"Um, who?" Sam cleared her throat and reached for her blue Jell-O.

"Kerry Johnson from the Oversight Committee. The hot woman sitting with Jack, smiling at Jack, laughing at his lame jokes and all before 0800 hours."

"I don't know, Daniel, is she?" Sam engaged his testing blue-eyed gaze. Refusing to take his bait she directed a forkful of Jell-O to her lips, but most it fell into the dish as did her fork.

"Jack thinks so."

"I'm glad for him."

"Really?" Daniel's skeptical tone made her wince, before he touched her tensed chin and frowned. "Sam, you two need to talk."

She eased from his brotherly touch. "We're done talking about '_that._' Have been for sometime, if you'd cared to notice."

"Well that hurt!" He charged. "I happen to care about you both."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she turned defensive.

"You have your brother Mark right?"

She nodded.

"But it's only been the last three years you've re-bonded."

"True." She lifted her tea and took a sip, trying hard not to look back at Jack and Whatsherface.

"Sam, I realize my memory got juggled around while I was an Ancient. But I remembered two important things after you made it crystal clear there was nothing romantic between us," he motioned between them. "One being that you and Jack are in l—"

"Hush!" She glanced nervously around the mess hall.

"My other point," he whispered. "Is we, SG-1 are closer than you and Mark ever were or will be? We're family, correct?"

"Yes."

"Sam, you, Jack, and Teal'c are my missing siblings. I love you guys and I know when my family members are hurting."

"Your point." She signed out, wanting to be anywhere but here listening to Daniel rambling on about family affairs.

"Jack's not happy." He tipped his head in the general's direction.

"Could have fooled me," she countered attacking her Jell-O, the clank of metal against glass resounded when she failed to capture the loose bits of wiggly dessert with the pronged utensil.

Exhaling, Daniel muttered a string of expletives and rolled his eyes. "Remember when Teal'c and I tied and gagged Jack with duct-tape and then locked you both in the ship's cabin together?"

"Daniel, please don't?" She looked at him pleadingly then closed her eyes, struggling to forget that four-year old hot romantic memory. "I'm going to marry Pete."

"Why?"

"Because I love him."

"Love covers a lot of spectrums, Sam. Companionship love, parental love, sibling love, friendship love, in love with love, and—" He was counting on off his fingers. "Great sex can often be mistaken for love."

She hissed through her teeth as she glared.

Daniel gulped. "Oh you mean, the can't live, eat, sleep without you—you make me horny lovers love?"

"Yes." She picked up her tea and took a sip, realizing her love for Pete was well, not that kind of love either. So what was it?

"Then, how come Jack's flirting with another woman has you flustered?" Picking up his tray, Daniel slide back his chair and glanced at Jack and Kerry, just as the CIA agent giggled again.

"I am not flustered!" She gave up on the Jell-O but clenched the fork like a lethal weapon and wielded it at Daniel.

"And that explains why you're trying to eat Jell-O with a fork. A feat only Jack O'Neill has successfully mastered, because as he'd say, _'It's all in the wrist, Carter."' _

Before she could utter a wise comeback, Daniel turned and left whistling to the sad song that played over the intercom.

"I've never been to a hockey game before, Jack." Kerry Johnson admitted with some skepticism. 

"Then you haven't lived." He smirked over his fork of vanilla cake.

"I admit I'm not into sticks and holes, but I'll try anything once." She nudged him under the table. "I mean . . . sticks and goals." She laughed suggestively.

Jack sputtered around his spoonful of Froot Loops and inadvertently glanced at Carter, only to encounter her liquid blue eyes. Although a mere heartbeat, he held her crestfallen expression before she abruptly exited the cafeteria.

In the background Kerry was talking, but Jack didn't hear her. He could only hear the song's lyrics and feel the undeniable ache of his lonely heart.

'_So now you're gone, and I'm all alone, alone with my lonely heart . . .' _

Basically, life got worse. Through it all Jack couldn't stay away from Carter. It was as if she were his lifeline. Even if they didn't talk, just knowing they were in the mountain together he felt fine, well, besides knowing she was making wedding plans with Petty. _'Let's face it you're a chicken-shit. Furthermore you don't deserve her, never did. And, that snake in the grass doesn't deserve her either.' _

Jack scrolled back over his Crap List:

'_I'm still trying to get a life. Started to seriously date Kerry Johnson. She's nice but . . . _

_Oh, Jacob's back! Yes! And he doesn't seem in a hurry to return to Tok'ra world. Nice. _

_As assumed, Replicator Sam returned to rule the galaxy and beamed up Daniel. The bitch!_

_Baal actually begged me for help. God does exist! Not that I question that anymore, just a gentle nudge like having Baal grovel at my feet was so cool!_

_We have such a genuine rapport._

"_You dare mock me!" _

"_Baal, come on! You know. Of course I dare mock you!" _

_News flash: The Jaffa are finally free from the Goa'uld! _

_Sam's getting married! _

_Life sucks!'_

On board her Replicator Ship ISam had Daniel locked inside a hologram of his tent on Abydos as they played mind control games.

"You're no better than Fifth." Daniel charged, trying to distract _'it'_ as he weakened the line between _'it'_ and the other replicators.

"Oh, I'm much better, Daniel. I'm more like your species than Fifth ever was. I am Samantha Carter!"

"No you're not! My Sam has a heart. She hurts, laughs and cries. She cares about people. Most importantly she loves unconditionally!"

"Oh, I know how Sam loves and she's not as perfect as you believe. If she were, no matter what Fifth had done to her and Jack O'Neill, they'd be together. But they aren't. She's settled for less than the best. She's going to marry that nice, boring Pete. And I will have Jack."

"I knew it! You and Fifth messed with their heads and Pete's."

'_It'_ smirked. "Yes we did. I didn't want to do it, but things have worked out for the best. Although, we erased the memories of their _branding ritual_, they remain physically bonded as Ancients. Fifth had not counted on that. I did." She smiled and for a moment, Daniel saw a longing in '_its'_ eyes that reminded him of Sam. "And because their DNA bond, they suffer in confusion, longing for what they believe they can never have."

"So, can Fifth's memory virus be reversed?" he asked nonchalantly.

"There's nothing to be reversed." I_Sam_ shrugged. "I am better and smarter than Fifth. I made sure that they only needed to be reminded by someone who was there or knows the truth." She winked at Daniel.

"Shit!"

"Yes, you've held the key all along, Daniel Jackson. Just as you did about the Ancients weapon."

Daniel silently berated himself.

ISam bragged, "I told her, '_you have untapped greatness inside you, Sam, but you're limited by your own fears. You play by the rules, you do as you're told, and you deny yourself your own desires.'_ She knew I meant Jack and yet said she had no desire to rule the galaxy. Well, I want the galaxy and Jack O'Neill. And I'll break all the rules to obtain them!"

Daniel startled. "You promised you'd leave Earth alone. There's Replicators infiltrating the SGC right now."

"How can you know that?"

Daniel gazed smugly at her.

"While I was in your mind, you were inside mine." '_It'_ realized.

"Took a while to figure out. Fortunately, you were too distracted to notice. Some of the Ancient knowledge really helped too – thank you." Daniel smirked.

"You tricked me!"

"You tricked me first."

"You should never have told me."

"Too late – for you, that is."

ISam reached toward Daniel's head but he grabbed her wrist and stopped her. "Trying to leave? Sorry – a little more time in Danny's world."

"My brethren will not stop. You cannot control them." ISam glared.

"Not yet," his tone turned ominous. "But I'm learning."

His eyes shut tight in concentration and holding onto ISam's wrist, Daniel felt her attempt to break free. His eyes flew open the same time as '_its'_ eyes did.

ISam stared at him in shock.

"Got you now!" He smiled.

Crap List Revisited:

'_Carter's still getting hitched._

_I sort of have a life – Her name's Kerry._

_Sam and Jacob found the Ancient weapon on Dakara and blew up the Replicators for good, I hope. _

_Daniel died—again!' _

The day the Replicators were defeated, Jack and Sam were talking about the events as they headed for his office. Jack kept the conversation on work. They'd both wondered if Daniel had caused the extra time they'd been given when the Replicators had frozen in their tracks on Earth and on Dakara. Once again, he and Sam were instinctively in tune, but Jack insisted they didn't have any proof of Daniel's involvement and got testy about it.

"Sir, if he was onboard that Replicator ship when—"

"Carter – we don't know anything!"

"No sir."

And then that pivotal moment hung between them. There was a time, Jack would have welcomed this and they would have shared an intimate look that said I love you or he would have offered to buy her coffee and cake. But those sweet times had past. They were just a CO and his flagship team leader and, at best, friends. That's what she'd wanted. And that was how it would be play out from here on. Jack wanted her happy and realized he had to drive the wedge further between them for that to happen.

Heart hammering, he yanked open a blue folder of requisitions and looked at it, then caught the familiar motion of her fingers against his desktop, tapping out their code. She wanted to meet in the Closet. He ignored her silent request.

"Anything else?" he asked in his CO tone and returned to the form where he blindly scribbled his John Hancock. He knew his heartless comeback had not been expected. Hell, what did she expect?

"No sir." Sam faltered a moment then turned and left.

Jack hadn't dared look up into those river stone blue eyes and see her bewilderment at his cold dismissal. It would have been his downfall. He waited until she left before he lifted his head and watched her take the stairs down to the Control Room. The expression on her face matched his own. She was unhappy, but was it because of Daniel or them? And did she know about Kerry?

Jack still felt like he was cheating on Sam. Which made no sense. Sam was with Pete. Dang, Sam was doing more than sharing a bed with the moron! That knowledge just made Jack madder and want her more.

Oh, back to his Crap List:

'_Anubis is back in the ballgame and about to hit a home run. There has to be a way to send that demon back to Netu with a ball and chain! _

_Carter is getting married in three freaking weeks, two days, nine hours and twenty-three and fifteen seconds! God, help me!_

_Even though Jacob has yet to meet the Irish cop, he doesn't seem pleased. Worse, he is giving me the cold shoulder on a personal level. Only a matter of time before the poop hits the fan. _

_Did I mention Daniel died . . . Again? Well, I won't have any of that. Daniel's just cloud serving—again. He will return, butt-naked as usual. Really! I can only cope with so many negative factors at a time. _

_Speaking of negatives . . . _

_Carter's still getting married!'_

Sam came home exhausted only to find Pete had cooked a fancy supper. She wasn't hungry. Nor pleased that since moving to the Springs, he'd basically moved in lock, stock and barrel, that included sharing her bed, even if only to sleep. Knowing how old-fashioned Dad was and wanting him to stay at her house while he was back on earth, Sam had asked Pete to stay at a hotel until the wedding. He'd diplomatically stated since they weren't having sex, what difference did it make? Dad could have the guestroom and he'd sleep on the sofa.

Dad was no happy camper over her splitting with Jack, let alone getting engaged to Pete and insisted he'd stay on base.

Sam now lay curled in a fetal position on the right side of her bed, while Pete slept in the guestroom. She hadn't let him in her bed tonight and they had a verbal row over the matter. Which rarely happened, because Pete rarely got mad with her. But tonight he'd gotten hammered and she'd almost tossed him out, until he collapsed on the guest bed and fell asleep. Still she'd kept her door locked and had just taken the plastic covered pillow from the back of her closet and removed it from its sealed wrapper. Climbing back into bed she hugged this '_other'_ pillow and inhaled the fading scent of the man she wished was in her bed. Jack.

So why was she doing this to herself, agreeing to marry a man she wasn't in love with? Because she'd repeatedly messed up with Jack to the point, she feared there was no chance he'd ever take her back. And in all honesty, she believed she didn't deserve what Jack had always wanted for her, to be happy.

Sam replayed their last conversation of the day. She'd yet to accept how he'd dismissed her without a second glance. At the least he should have been shocked or angered by her request to meet in the Closet. Sam shook her head, fighting the tears of his detached rejection. It really was over between them, so why did her heart refuse to accept it? Why did she still feel linked to Jack in a way she had so badly sought to experience with Pete for that matter with any man? What was it about Jack O'Neill that made her feel like a silly schoolgirl with a crush on the senior quarterback? How could one man make Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter turn weak-kneed and giggliest with just the curl of his lips or the waggle of his dark brows?

"No giggling," she heard his sultry lisp as clear as when they'd laid freezing to death eight-years ago.

"Dear Lord, why him? If we're not meant to be together, please take away this overpowering love and physical ache for Jack O'Neill. Please, God, release me?"

CHAPTER NINE 

Jack continued to date Kerry Johnson – sort of. Well, if you counted twice a week for the last six weeks and sleeping together dating, which now a days seemed politically correct. Sure. That's what he was doing. In fact, Carter had caught him talking to his new significant other this morning. Had that been jealousy he'd seen in Sam's azure-blue eyes and heard in her voice? If only! Kerry Johnson was a pretty career woman who'd relit Jack's self-esteem in more ways than he could publicly admit to. Hey, this could work.

Yeah, right!

He'd thought dating Kerry from the Civilian Oversight Committee, incognito, of course, would curb his longing for Sam. After all, he was over fifty and Kerry was younger than Sam. Kerry was a beautiful woman who made no bones that she liked and wanted him. Two weeks ago Jack had made a home run, well, that needed to be reworded. Jack remained impotent except around Carter, but made sure Kerry awoke with a smile on her face. He felt lousy. Of course, Kerry felt it her womanly duty to get a rise out of him. She failed and eventually accepted his line of bull that he'd been this way since going Ancient. Well, in truth, he had. He just failed to mention the painful erections he had whenever Carter was within his line of sight or scent. Strangely, Kerry didn't seem discouraged or about to walk anytime soon. Then again, why should she? Jack's talented fingers and tongue never left her wanting. She was more than satisfied. And his manly pride equally proud.

Just one itsy, bitsy, teeny, weenie—problem, Jack was making love to a woman he didn't love, but who cared about him. And Jack cared about her. But—?

Geez, there were a lot of _butts_ in his life. But, they got along peachy and that was a problem. Jack wanted more than peachy. He wanted to feel the same euphoric twitch in his stomach that he still felt eight years later whenever Carter sashayed into the room, smiled, or accidentally brushed by him. That's what he wanted!

Clearly, he wasn't in love with this hot brunette, named Kerry Johnson. Not even close. If she walked out of his life today, he'd feel sorry, but relieved. Oh, he kept telling himself they just needed more time. As it was, he'd done everything to ruin it from the start. On purpose! Like being impotent would've sent most women packing. Yet she was still here. Why?

True, he and Kerry had an understanding from the start. First, this wasn't about love or commitment; it was about sex and companionship. Having a good time without the commitment. Yeah, there was that **_C_** word again. After his relationships with Sara and Sam, this politically correct concept of no commitment felt alien to Jack. Other than his college years when he'd met Sara, he'd never been into casual anything, let alone affairs. Heck, he'd never even had an affair until now. He was trying to fill that void in his heart and Kerry had come along just when he'd been at his lowest.

Jack knew he wasn't open with Kerry. He remained guarded, held back all he had given to Sam and still wanted to give her, especially his heart. If Kerry noticed she didn't say anything. Besides she seemed fine with their open door policy let alone any deep meaningful conversations about the meaning of life or goals in general. He even suspected she was dating men that could screw her, and that didn't bother him. That was part of the problem. All Jack had to hear was the name Pete Shanahan and his green meter shot off the Richter scale.

Since meeting Kerry, Jack had put his Bible in his nightstand drawer and hadn't shared his faith with her. Probably because she'd made some remark about hating the rightwing Christian movement. Politically, Jack rode the fence and had honestly never liked shrubs. But his faith, that was another issue. Jack could not witness to her when he himself had turned his back on his God to be with a woman out of wedlock. Like it or not, Jack was a hypocrite! He'd turned away from God again.

At least Sam had understood his deep-seated faith, however weak it seemed now. Sam even believed, or she had once. And yet, the wedding invitations said a Justice of the Peace was hitching her and Petty at the Radisson Hotel. What had happened to her dream of a traditional church wedding with Jacob escorting her down the aisle? Maybe Jack didn't know Sam as well as he'd thought. Ya think?

His bittersweet musings returned to Kerry and Jack dug in his heels. Just hang on until after the wedding, Jack. Why? Because you want Sam to see you with Kerry, right? You want to hurt her, like she's hurt you. No! Of course, that's not it! Give it a chance, you and Kerry. Yeah, right. Sure, this isn't like when you fell in love Sara. And there's no comparison with falling in love with Sam. Nope. No similarity. Because he was still in love with Sam. Dang!

**Doctor Brightman – SGC Infirmary:**

Sam had practically chewed her lower lip off not to mention her nails, as she waited for the doctor to return with the ultra-sound results. She'd never been this nervous in her life. The door opened and the usually smiling doctor entered wearing a solemn expression. '_Not good, Sam.'_

"Colonel, I'm afraid I—"

"There's blockage?"

"Yes. Your cervix and uterus, which explains why you've not had a normal menstrual cycle in what, six months?"

She nodded.

"No bleeding of any kind and yet you appear to ovulate. Very strange."

Sam repeated her head bobble. No period since Fifth had abducted her, but she wasn't about to go there.

"I admit I'm concerned. If it's endometriosis you should be experiencing pain and heavy flowage, but you're not." Brightman stated firmly.

"Neither."

"No pain during intercourse?"

"No." Sam cheeks flamed. "But I've been abstinent for long while."

"I see. Well, I don't think its endometriosis. The fibers appear like a perfected screening, as if placed there. I assume your body is compensating for this intrusion, which would explain no monthly menstrual cycle. I want you to see the base gynecologist, Colonel. The only way we'll know what we're dealing with it by doing an exploratory ASAP."

"Is it spreading?" She clenched her fists in her lap.

"No. Yet we really shouldn't let this go. When do you want to have the surgery?"

"Give me sometime, I need to talk to my fiancé."

"Sure. But this is nothing to mess with or delay. Not to mention you cannot conceive right now."

"Figured that, Doc, but that's not a present concern." '_Yeah, right!'_

"And you do realize that if this proves to be an alien substance, I have to inform General O'Neill?"

Sam nodded reluctantly. Oh, she could argue the matter, but it'd be a waste of time. "Doc, if that proves the case, I'd like to tell the general myself." She waited for the doctor to give her an incredulous look, but didn't get one.

"As you wish." Brightman agreed.

"Thanks." Sam left the doctor's office hurried to her private quarters and tossed her cookies down the porcelain god.

Meanwhile, soon as Sam went off world or left the complex she and Jack experienced mild to moderate mood swings and depression. Same old . . . same old. Only Daniel and Teal'c had seemed to notice, although Walter hung a lot closer the last few weeks. Even George suggested Jack take downtime.

He didn't, of course. Downtime meant going fishing, fishing meant thinking, which mean thinking about Carter. Nope. That so wasn't going to happen.

Then, of course, there was the um, embarrassing issue at hand . . .no pun intended. Once a month, and Jack noticed always during the full moon, he and Sam turned into . . .well, you'll see.

This was nuts! Jack stalked the corridors of the SGC trying to work off the excess energy, more like the overpowering sex drive he had and all of it directed at one woman, Carter. He'd even started retaking his prescribed antidepressant the ones they gave him after Janet died. But, after he'd read that one of the side affects could kill his mojo, he'd stopped taking them. Then he remembered he didn't have any mojo to lose. Well, he was desperate now. It'd take a good week or longer for them to kick in. So he wasn't depressed, but constipated! And ironically, when he asked Mackenzie for a refill he got two. Mackenzie stated depression went with Jack's new job. Well, du!

The pills seemed to help, coz, Kerry sure wasn't getting any Jack junior. But, as had been the weird habit all week, soon as Carter had entered his office this morning to talk about Daniel, wham! Heck, the reason he'd started babbling about Daniel was to get his mind out of the gutter! Trouble was, his sexual desires for her were strong than ever! Here he was, walking around with an erection that could put younger men to shame. Worse, he couldn't pee!

Heading for his private quarters, Jack's next actions were methodical and intuitive. He entered his sleeping quarters, locked the door, switched on the dresser lamp and removed a framed picture of their Chulak wedding and his wedding band. Slipping the silver ring onto his finger, he took the picture, lay out on his bed and then did what had become the last resort, his only relief. Desperate times called for desperate measures. So far his hand hadn't fallen off and if this was a sin, he begged God to forgive him—again.

Sam's private quarters:

Rats! Here she was once more. Worse than an oversexed teenager! How could she sink so low—Because for the longest time this had become routine. She had a man at home who'd been trying to get into her pants for eight solid months. And, she'd been reduced to masturbating in her quarters because the one man she desired, was no doubt, just a few levels up eating Lemon Chicken with Daniel and Teal'c in the commissary, or far worse with Kerry Johnson.

Sam lay in the darkness of her room beneath her covers, heart racing, breath ragged, "Oh . . . Jack!" she cried out, biting into her fisted hand as she plummeted over the threshold with him in her heart and mind.

"Saaam!" Jack groundout upon his release, then collapsed, only to feel the need to join with his wife building within him once more. This was insane. This was not normal. This was ecstasy in the loneliest way. This was so freaking unfair! He needed a cold shower or hot. Whatever!

Trembling from the agonizing mixed pleasure that had shaken the core of her body and heart to the quick, Sam buried her flushed face in the pillow, and then wept and prayed for her hunger and need for her CO—husband to end.

After two mind-blowing orgasms, a weak-kneed Jack stepped out of his shower, leaned against the sink and glared into the mist kissed mirror. "What a loser!"

Worse, he had a date with Kerry tonight. And, per usual she'd want to stay over. Not like he discouraged her. Heck no. Twice a week, he wined her, dined and kissed her a lot. How long could he keep sleeping with her yet finding an excuse not to satisfy her sexual needs? It'd been awhile. And the coup de grace was why was she allowing it to happen? It wasn't her liberated nature. She was a healthy American woman with a huge sexual appetite. But he no longer wanted to know her intimately. He'd become a selfish SOB. He only wanted Carter. This wasn't fair to Kerry, she deserved better.

"You have to end it!" Yeah, but like all things related to relationships and communication, Jack was a coward.

Sam had no sooner stepped into the corridor and sensed and inhaled his presence. He'd been in his quarters the same time she had been in hers. Every month about this time, it happened. Coincidence? She dared not to think of it as a flush crept up her neck and across her cheeks. She felt them burn and unconsciously sniffed the air. A heady perfume called Eau de Pheromone. She'd taken a shower, changed her undergarments and yet . . .

She shook the aching want from her heart and body and as casually as possible turned to greet him. This was just plain warped. If she were smart, she'd run for the elevator and avoid him all together but she didn't. She couldn't. This was in their job description. Working together. '_Oh, for cryin' out loud.' _Ach! She tucked her long sleeved black shirt into her blue BDU pants and smoothed her messed hair, looking calmer than she felt.

Her heart rate accelerated as his long legged gait brought him around the corner and into visual range. Had he any idea how handsome he looked? How even when not smiling, those dimples slashing on either side of his mouth drove her bonkers? Per usual his short-cropped hair stood at attention, but looked wet. His blue-shadowed jaw begged for a shave. His blue button down BDU's weren't buttoned and his black t-shirt wrinkled. He looked like he'd just gotten out of bed. The thought made her blush. Why would he be in bed now? Sam swallowed hard. It was Wednesday, their former weekly date time. It'd been ten months since they'd been together holding each other, murmuring their love to each other.

"Carter." He acknowledged quietly, halted then fell into step with her.

"Sir." She caught the flash of a scowl before his nose twitched. She realized he'd known she was here waiting. Sex on steroids! Yes, she could smell it and it was familiar. It was Jack. Sam gulped. Her estrogen level soared, stimulated by a level of testosterone that had kicked it up a notch. Geez, Carter, get a grip! How come whenever I'm ovulating, we act like, like animals? Her mind took a trip down memory lane to when they'd had the Broca virus. Jack was definitely the Alpha male then. Some things never changed.

This was just too bizarre!

Jack's gait picked up as if he wanted to be away from her. Well, the feeling was mutual.

"Sir." Gosh, hadn't she already said that? Guilt-laden from what she'd just done, she avoided his penetrating brown gaze and matched his lengthy strides. Something that had become natural over the years, something few others could do, especially when, like now, he seemed in a hurry. Bad knees or not, General O'Neill never collected dust.

"So, looking forward to your day off tomorrow?" his lisp held a tremor.

"Yes." Time with Pete to finish up the last of their wedding plans would be the best thing and then not. She feared the onset of depression that she'd begun to associate with not being around Jack the last four months. Each time she went home or off world, she became short-wired. Like a bad case of PMS. She was surprised Daniel, Teal'c even Dad had not complained. Still, she functioned, did her job. She supposed that was the important thing. If she stopped being the best at what she did, she, indeed, had a problem. She'd secretly started taking her antidepressants again. Trouble was soon as she went off world she'd have to come clean with Doctor Brightman. Dang!

And what she heard through the SGC grapevine didn't help. The general had become grumpier than usual. He had been long known for his O'Neill mood swings, but those were usually resolved by bribing him with cake. Apparently though, when SG-1 went off world for extended periods, he became one irritable jackass. Even Walter and Siler stayed clear.

Yep, whatever Jack had, Sam did too. Gosh, she wished Daniel were here. He'd had an explanation for everything and if not, he'd find one. She missed him terribly! And Jack refused to talk about it. Even Teal'c avoided the topic. Well, they needed to talk it out, soon.

She had a date with Pete tonight and needed to think about him. Needed to decide if she was going to finally give in and sleep with him before the wedding and that included sex. Pete made it perfectly clear that the next time she invited him to bed it wouldn't be just to sleep.

Maybe sex with him would eliminate the frustration she felt for Jack. And yet the word _husband _kept rearing its ugly head. She felt guilty even considering being intimate with Pete when her heart belonged to this man, always had. Yet the darn annulment form she'd signed signified she was a free woman. No longer married, even if it'd only been in name. So she could have sex right? Trouble was she felt nothing sexual for Pete anymore. It was like living with her brother. Why? Why couldn't Pete turn her on? Why didn't she want sex with him?

Sex. Sam puffed out through her lips. Why was it _'sex'_ with Pete and even at its primal base of need like now, still _lovemaking_ with Jack?

"How's Dad doing?" Jack nonchalantly broke into her dysfunctional thoughts.

"Fine. He's going to visit Mark, Connie and the kids again tomorrow. I think Mark's worried Dad's up to something because Dad's visited him three times during the month he's been home."

"Jacob's just making up for the time he lost being with the Tok'ra this last year."

"Yeah, probably. He even went and visited Cassandra at the University. That was a first."

Jack flinched. "Yeah, heard he took her to a swank restaurant for lunch and dropped a bundle at the mall on her."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, like the rest of us, he's trying to make up for Janet's absence."

"Well, he didn't do us any favors. Now she's on my butt to go shopping again, coz she maxed out her credit card."

"Really, General. It's your own fault. I still can't believe you gave her a credit card with a three k limit. You have to learn to say no to her."

"I did. Remember she's still on a thousand dollar limit. Besides, you should talk. At least I didn't buy her a brand new teal blue, Scooter so she can race around town on two wheels and kill herself. Ya know those things are dangerous and the way Cass drives . . ." He waggled his brows and his lean mouth tugged into a dimple, causing Sam to grin and feel hot . . .again.

She was about to argue her case when his laughing gaze narrowed and darkened drifting from her eyes to her face and then slowly over her body. She knew his appreciative look and realized she was no better, looking at him in a sultry way that was totally unprofessional. Why now? Get a grip!

She cleared her throat. "Well, at least it took her mind off Daniel. She's devastated, sir."

"Yeah, I know." He dragged a hand through his hair and grimaced. "Sometimes, I wonder about those two. I mean have they seemed unusually close since she left for college? I caught Daniel on the phone with her a lot before he went poof!"

Sam shrugged and bit her lip. She had her suspicions, but wasn't about to go there, especially since neither Daniel nor Cassandra were here to defend themselves. Besides, Jack could make a mountain out of molehill if he wanted. "We're all family, sir, . . ."

He glanced sharply at her.

"Where Cassie's concerned."

"Right." He flourished a hand skyward. "But like me, she also believes he'll be back."

Sam gave an absent nod. Talking about Daniel further depressed her. "Um, Dad's meeting Pete today and I'm on my way to greet him. I want to thank you for giving Pete security clearance to come on base, sir."

"Ah. Think nothing of it." She swore the ravine between his dark brows expanded. "You're nervous." He observed. Darn, why was he always so in tune with her?

"Yes. Well, Pete doesn't know, about meeting Dad that is." Why had she said that?

"Think that's wise?" His brows tackled his silver hairline.

"Probably not. But you know how Dad can be. I thought it best I give him sometime to adjust to the fact I am going to marry Pete, before the introductions."

"Ah yes. Well, I'm sure Pete'll do just fine. Dad won't be any harder on him than he was on me . . .Oy! Sorry. I didn't mean—" He blushed beneath his tan and glanced at his watch.

"No need to apologize. I want Dad to like him. Pete's a really great guy, sir."

"Sure he is." He jammed his hands into his pockets and rounded the corner toward the elevator.

"I wish you'd spend time with Pete and get to know him, like Daniel and Teal'c have."

Jack halted abruptly and turned looking at her like she'd transformed into a Goa'uld. "I already did—" his mouth opened like it so often did, but he said nothing.

"Did what?"

"Look, Carter—" His hands orchestrated his words in a hazardous way and she took a cautious step back. "I tried at the engagement party and it backfired. I've never lied to you. I'm not crazy about your fiancé and he's not fond of me. We're like oil and water so let it go, wilya?"

"Sir, if you'd give him a chance I know you'd like him." Why was this so essential?

"Carter, long as you're happy, I'm happy." He presented her with his pat O'Neill smile that didn't touch his brown eyes while his shoulders slumped with what was it? Defeat? Resignation?

"Thank you, but that's not what I meant."

"You're not happy?" He frowned. His lips slightly parted in that naive _'oh'_ expression that made her go brain dead.

"No! I mean, yes, of course. It's just important that you like Pete." She concentrated on the wall beyond his observant brown glint.

"And if I don't?" He countered in that tone that meant they were about to butt heads.

"Sir?"

"What?" He slid his pass to open the double security hatch and looked away.

"Nothing." She hugged her arms to her chest, wishing she were anywhere but here. Wishing the ache for him would vanish. Wishing! Blast! The last time she'd wished something like that, she'd forgotten about them completely. And he'd nearly blown his brains out. No, she definitely didn't want that! But she didn't want Pete either. That much she knew. She wanted to ask if the rumors about him and Kerry Johnson were true. Of course, they were. She'd seen them together enough, officially, of course, but still. They acted too familiar. Then there was the way Jack looked at Kerry. Way too unprofessionally! Somehow she had to broach the subject. Take it out of the room before too late.

"I don't know what you want from me, Carter." Jack's sharp tone made its mark and she balked. "Just what the hell do you want?" He turned and faced her. He looked angry. Well, far better than his usual disinterest but it tied her insides into smaller knots.

"I—I just meant, I thought . . ." She looked at her boots and made a face.

"What?" He had her cornered against a dead-end partitions, out of view of the corridor. His hands shoved in his pockets, he leaned into her space. Not that she minded. Yes, she should mind. Boy!

"Nothing, sir. I'm sorry for expecting so much from you. I can't make you like Pete or anyone for that matter." He removed his left arm and rested it against the panel above her shoulder. He acted harmless, but something in his sultry coffee eyes set her off kilter and a scent emitting from beneath his Old English cologne made her dizzy! Oh yeah, '_that'_ smell! Was it coming from him or was it her? Sam's mind began to whirl in a delicious erotic way.

"No, you can't, Carter. You can't make me do anything I don't want to do." His voice dropped that octave that always sent a tingle to her womanhood.

"No, no, I can't." '_Oh, yes I can!'_ She gulped as her hand strayed to a loose thread on his BDU shirt. Sam became oblivious to their surroundings, even fraternizing with her CO. Jack's smile, scent, lean, muscular hardened body were her goal. Her imagination spiraled with sexual imagery. She tried to step away, but her body wouldn't listen nor would her heart. _Talk Sam!_

Jack inclined closer and when his strong fingers snared hers against his chest, he held tight. Sam's free arm snaked around his neck. She'd never wanted, needed anyone as much as she needed this man, right here, right now. His dark orbs smoldered with desire and she realized that these months of trying to avoid each other had come to a head. Literally.

"Sam." His sweet breath fanned her face and she inhaled deeply as if his breath was her life force.

"Jack." His name warmed her lips like sweet wine. "Wha-at's happening?"

"Don't know. Don't care. I just . . ." His hot wet mouth brushed her dry lips. "Need you so fricking much, I can't —"

"General?" Walter called out from the opposite corridor.

Jack bolted, putting distance between himself and Sam. She turned away. Fortunately, Walter had announced himself before rounding the bend.

"Oh, there you are, sir." His assistant nodded then smiled at Sam. "Colonel Carter."

"Walter." She prayed her face wasn't as red as it felt.

"General Hammond's on the phone, sir."

"You could have paged me." Jack's tone tightened with annoyance as he jammed his hands back into his pockets.

Sam knew he was adjusting himself. She sure was.

"I did, sir." Walter shifted his right brow. Way too much like Teal'c.

Jack glanced down to find his blinking pager, the vibrator on silent mode. He'd turned it off in his quarters. Forgotten. So unprofessional!

"Loud speaker." Jack tossed back on his guilt trip.

"With all due respect, sir, it's not an emergency. You can call him back."

"Oh," Jack mouthed, relieved. "I'll be right there." He stole a nervous glance of Sam who was looking at her boots. Crap!

Walter nodded and stepped off. Neither saw the pleased look on his face. About time those lovesick kids get together, he mused. He'd have loved to catch them necking. Regulations be screwed, he sure wasn't going to say anything. Maybe now the general would be easier to work with. Or not.

CHAPTER TEN 

Dad didn't like Pete! If she didn't know better he really, really didn't like Pete. He hadn't even denied it. Yet, he'd said he could see she was happy and that's all that mattered to him. Had she failed the acting test too? Sam paced her lab and kicked the wall. Ow! She hobbled over, dropped unladylike onto her stool and proceeded to rub her throbbing foot through her boot.

"He seems nice!" she repeated Jacob Carter's words over and over. Nice? What's that suppose to mean? Of course, Pete's nice. He's the nicest person she knew. At least he wasn't an obnoxious, cantankerous brigadier general who played with a yoyo, abducted an alien girl to show her how to be a kid, secretly played Santa Claus to the children at the Sisters of Mercy orphanage the last ten years or, gave away his treasured National Geographic collection to a homeless man in order to find his wife! Pete would do those things, right? Of course!

But Pete wasn't Jonathon J. O'Neill, and in less than three weeks she was suppose to marry him—Pete! What was she thinking? She dropped her head to the lab desk with a thump. Ow!

Stop thinking so much, Carter. But she couldn't.

Sam remembered when Dad had first arrived and wanted to take her and Jack out for dinner. She'd begged him to take her without Jack. It would be hard enough to break all the news to him. She'd never forget the devastated look on his tired face when she said they'd had the marriage annulled and that she was with Pete now. Dad looked as if she'd zatted him. When Selmak finally spoke, he said he did not understand the Tauri love rituals and had assumed that she and Jack were mated for life. However, he wished her the best and then gave the microphone back to Jacob.

Dad had muttered that was the last thing he'd expected or needed to hear. Sam had calmly explained that she and Jack had finally come to their senses. That they couldn't be in the same chain of command and be romantically involved let alone, married. She also reiterated how much she loved Pete and intended to marry him. Besides, Jack was happy for her. She'd thought Dad would have danced the jig. Instead, just like tonight before she'd retreated to her lab, he'd said he was tired and needed to get some rest.

She worried about Dad. Ever since his fainting incident on Dakara he'd been quieter and in need of more sleep. And since then, Selmak hadn't spoken to her or anyone else for that matter, not even to the general.

She'd no idea that her splitting with Jack would have affected him so. She knew Dad loved Jack and didn't want her marriage to Pete to cause a rift between the two friends. Still, it clearly had. She'd yet to see them together unless work related. They didn't even verbally spare like they'd used to, but then, she'd been their main purpose for butting heads.

"Colonel Carter?" Teal'c called from her doorway with a plate of donuts and two cups of coffee.

Sam peered from her facedown position and slowly lifted her aching head. "Hey, come on in." She straightened her black knit sweater and forced a smile that didn't reach her weary gaze. "I thought you and Bra'tac were heading out. You have a scheduled meeting with the Jaffa council in two hours." She glanced at the wall clock.

"Bra'tac went before me to make preparations. I will depart soon, but wish to converse with you in private, Samantha Carter."

Whoops. He'd used her first name. Not good. "Sure." She stepped around the counter and took the coffees from his hands.

"I would have preferred we visit a restaurant but due to the situation with Anubis, I must stay on base." He swiped his keycard, closing the door behind him. Sam swallowed. Never, had Teal'c gone to such means to insure they had privacy. This must be serious.

"Is the audio operational, Colonel?" He indicated the surveillance camera.

"No. Um, General O'Neill fixed that months ago." She winked. "He's got this new remote." She fidgeted, wondering what was on the Jaffa's huge hairy head, besides an excuse to eat donuts.

"Very well. There are issues of the utmost urgency we must discuss." He came to rule over her, gazing into her eyes with the deepest compassion. Teal'c was a friend she highly treasured, her big brother if she were to be honest. She suspected what he wanted to discuss. In all honesty, she needed to talk to someone who knew the truth about her love triangle. But, somehow, she didn't think Teal'c was about to go easy on her. In fact, unlike Daniel, he'd never tried to persuade her not to marry Pete. Although Teal'c made no bones he didn't like Pete and enjoyed intimidating Pete.

When Sam had confronted him, Teal'c merely said, "I do indeed take pleasure making Pete Shanahan uncomfortable, Colonel Carter."

"Whatever for?"

"Because he is undeserving of your love."

And the last time they'd discussed anything personal he'd presented her the annulment paper to sign. When she saw Jack's familiar scrawl, she quickly signed it and turned back to her work. But, soon as Teal'c left, she'd fled to the bathroom, puked and then cried her eyes out.

"So what's up, Teal'c?" She shrugged and turned away, setting their coffees on the counter and opening the lid to hers.

The Jaffa warrior gently snatched her shoulders and turned her back to him. "You are not content, Samantha?" he asked gently.

"That obvious, huh?"

"Indeed."

"As your friend, there is much I need to explain to you. I should have divulged this information years ago. I did not. Now with Daniel Jackson gone, the burden of responsibility weighs heavily on me and I can no longer standby and watch my two best friends suffer because I have failed them—again."

"Failed us? How?" Nervous, she blew a stray bang from her eyes.

"In time, all will be made known. Firstly, I assure you that O'Neill is as much in the dark about the events I'm about to relate, as are you. But like you, he has not forgotten that he is in love with you."

"But he doesn't—" Teal'c pressed his fingers to her parted lips.

"You must promise that under no circumstances will you become irritated with O'Neill or blame him for what I am about to divulge. Nor will you talk to him until after I have relayed the same information to him. Regrettably, he has left the base, so that cannot happen until tomorrow."

"Why don't I like the sound of this?" Sam clasped her hands and stared up at him.

"Colonel Carter," the Jaffa's patience was thinning. "I have insufficient time!"

"Fine. I won't get angry or blame the general for whatever you're going to share and won't discuss it with him until you two talk. But I want to know if he knows what you're about to tell me."

"Only what happened twenty years ago. The remainder he does not." He sat down across from her and offered her a glazed donut.

"Twenty years ago? I was a freshman cadet, Teal'c."

"I am aware. Eat. You will need sustenance to absorb all I am about to impart to you."

Sam looked at the plate he pushed in her direction. She could blame it on the anti-depressants, but she'd not had an appetite in months. "Maybe later."

"Very well." Teal'c nodded. "I shall begin . . ."

SGC Parking Lot:

Jack sat against his windshield, legs stretched and crossed over the hood of his truck and yawned. Not the most professional pose for a brigadier general, but he was off duty and had to speak with Carter. He glanced at his watch. He'd been here a good hour. Her car was just two spaces down. The security guard said she'd had not checked out. What was she doing for crying out loud? She'd shut down her lab hours ago. Maybe she was staying overnight again. He should check. They had to talk this out. He had to apologize.

When he'd been talking to Walter, Sam had bolted for the elevator. '_Man, Jack, kissing your subordinate on base! Okay, so it wasn't exactly a kiss, but you almost did and you had more on your mind than kissing her. How about humping her right there and with Walter as a witness!' _

Bless Walter's heart or not, the man never said a word but he smiled a lot the rest of the day. Jack could only imagine what he'd thought. How about the truth, Jack? '_Walter's seen and heard just about everything on this base and you and Sam's on again off again affair of the heart has been one of them. And to this day the man has never said peep, let alone been part of the SGC grapevine. What a relief!' _

As this was the fourth month in a row Jack suspected what was happening between him and Sam. He just didn't know why? Unless her birth control methods had altered her menstrual cycle, she was ovulating and Jack was acting like a rutting bull! He recalled something Daniel had said a few years back when he'd obtained more information on the Ancients and for some warped reason used Jack and Sam as lab rats.

_'"You know, Jack, maybe that incident between the two of you and the Broca virus wasn't just about picking the strongest mate of your species. Maybe you two are a chosen Ancient couple." _

"_And maybe you should be putting more cream in your coffee, Danny. You really should ease up on the caffeine." _

"_Look, Jack, according to my research, the Ancients mated for life. Instead of marriage, they called it being chosen or branded. I'm beginning to think an actual physical, mental and emotional integration occurred between the couple. Kinda like what Orlin tried to do with Sam and join with her mind. Trouble was, he couldn't, because he realized she was already branded to you. But I've not found anything to prove it."_

"_Orlin was a flake." Jack yawned and reached for one of Daniel's rocks, correction artifacts. Daniel slapped his hand. _

"_And crazy for Sam, maybe even in love with her." _

"_I'm quite aware that Orlin was hot for Carter." Jack so didn't want to discuss the matter. "And let's not forget he hadn't seen a woman in a few thousand years." As if that explained everything. At least to Jack it did. Men were men. Always horny. _

"_Anyway, most of my research reveals that once a couple branded, they were no longer physically attracted to anyone else. Which could explain why Sam rejected Orlin, coz she was already bonded to you."_

"_Ya think?" Jack mused with a grin. _

"_Anyway, the Ancients made love a lot—like daily—and then some—and get this, when the woman ovulated which she did until far later in life than the Tauri, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. According to the Ancient rules of propriety, the couple had to lock themselves away, until—" _

"_Crap! I need a cold shower!" Jack rolled his eyes. "First off, Sam and I aren't different than any other couple, except we aren't jumping each others bones. We have excellent control of our libidos, thank you very much." _

"_That's because neither of you are full-blooded Ancients." Daniel rolled his blue eyes. "But, you've definitely got Ancient DNA. Sam's got the Naquadah marker, but could also have Ancient DNA strands that aren't as pronounced as your own. I mean, when you guys had the Broca virus, you weren't just sexually attracted to each other, you were emotionally bonded."_

"_Of course, ya geek! We were already in love." _

"_Jack, other married couples on base were affected by the virus and none of them searched each out, let alone tried to beat me to death because they thought I was a threat to their mate." _

"_And this affects us how?" _

"_That it's possible you and Sam are Ancient life-mates." _

"_Daniel?"_

"_Jack?" _

"_No more coffee!"' _

And they hadn't talked about it since. Had they? Jack rubbed his forehead, certain that Daniel had said something more recently about another culture similar to the Ancients and their mating ritual. Well, it'd come back sooner or later.

Yawning, he checked his watch and grunted. He was supposed to meet Kerry in an hour for a late supper. He wouldn't have time to go home, shower and change. Truthfully, he didn't want to see her tonight, not that she didn't occupy his time. She was beautiful, charming, funny, yada, yada. Jack felt ill. He could no longer imagine kissing anyone but Carter, least not in a sexual manner. Frick, what was wrong with him?

Opening his cellular he speed-dialed Kerry's phone and got her voice mail. He could deal with that. "Hey, it's me. Sorry. I might be stuck on base for the night. But we can do breakfast." _We need to talk_ . . .he wanted to say, but didn't. "Sleep well." Jack clicked the phone shut and clipped it on his jean belt. He hoped he'd sounded convincing. Such a pain dating a CIA agent, because she was used to being lied to. His only reprieve was he'd had years of practice in Special Forces.

He glanced at the unseen stars the parking lot's halogen lights blocked from view. For a moment his mind drifted to an inevitable day four years ago this month when he'd been among those stars sick with carbon monoxide poisoning and asking Dorothy to marry him . . . And she'd screamed. '_Yes!'_ The click of shoe heels on blacktop snapped him back to the present.

At last! He spotted Sam making her way across the parking lot and heard the jingle of her car keys. She wore a black leather skirt and snug red sweater. Man, she looked good enough to eat. '_Okay, O'Neill! Enough! Take control.' _

"Carter." He slipped off his truck's hood, his loafers hitting the blacktop with a soft thud as he blocked her path.

"Sir." She looked nervously past him at her car. "I'm in sort of a hurry." She motioned to step around him.

"We should talk." He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and strolled beside her, shoulders brushing.

"With all due respect, sir, I don't think it's a good idea. In fact, you'll find a request for transfer on your desk."

"A—what?" He put out a hand but she pulled back and hugged her arms to her breasts—er chest. "You gotta be kidding!"

"Hardly." She gestured between them. "I can't work with you, sir, at least while I'm ovulating and acting like a bitch in heat and you like a horny mastiff! In all honesty, its humiliating, sir!"

"Yeah." He scrubbed the base of his neck. "I'm not happy about it either. But transferring isn't the answer, Sam." '_Was he pleading?'_ Yep! Use of her first name made her look up.

"And what is?" She kept her distance.

"I know it's none of my business. But considering what's happening here." He motioned between them and scrunched his face. "Um, well, if you're still on the pill, why would you be ovulating?"

"If I knew that answer we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we?" She snorted.

"Apparently. Well, there's some sort of hormonal imbalance going on here. Maybe when Fifth or Replicarter abducted you, they—"

"What, sir?"

"Dang, if I know! Played Scrabble with your mind or DNA?" He tossed his hands in the air. '_Where had that thought come from?'_ He stepped into her space. She didn't retreat. Cool.

"Oh, now I'm the one who's messed up?" She huffed with a narrowed glint.

"Dang it, Carter, I didn't mean it that way." He gently clutched her upper arms and drew her closer, staring into her fiery blue eyes. He knew he shouldn't touch her but she didn't resist. Nice. He could feel the heat beneath her light sweater marking each of his digits.

"Yes you did!" She latched onto his left arm and stuck her face in his. So close, Jack inhaled her sweet moist breath and felt lightheaded with need. Crap, he wanted her!

"At least I don't think Homer Simpson should be President or fish in a pond without fish!" Her fingers dug painfully into his left bicep and Jack pressed against her, feeling her heart thud as fast as his own. Staring into each other's eyes, both were aware it was happening again. And, like before, neither attempted to stop the natural course of their hearts. _'Um, what had she said? Oh, fish, right.' _

"There are too fish in my pond. Just haven't seen one lately. Which is better than . . ." He unconsciously let go and his hands directed an invisible orchestra. "Marrying a man with a lantern jaw, who's going to be bald before he's forty."

"At least I've got someone!" She jerked her chin at him.

"Hey, I've got someone!"

"Really? Who?" Her blue eyes rounded as she blew a stray curl from her eyes.

"Can't say." He winced, wishing he'd not opened his mouth, wanting to kiss hers.

"Yeah right! Like a Playboy magazine and bottle of Jack Daniels!"

"I've got news for you, Carter," he leaned into her. "I get laid on a daily basis." That made her step back.

"With all due respect, sir, bite me!"

Oh, he'd liked nothing better. Sam was livid! So was he! And then it hit him. They weren't all over each other. Even though he still wanted her, he had more self-control. More restraint.

"Carter?"

"What!" She charged past him to her car. He wondered if his getting laid remark bugged her. He hoped so!

"I'm not horny." He followed, grinning. Well, he wasn't as horny as he'd been thirty-seconds ago.

"And your point?" She glared over her shoulder and then aimed and clicked her remote at her car. Jack heard the door unlock.

"I mean I'm pissed off, but I'm not humping you and if you noticed, you're not in heat."

"Oh." She turned and glanced at him, then at her shaking hands. "You're right, sir." She said softer and lifted her head gazing at him as she nibbled her lips. Her delicate chin jutted then tucked back in. Man, he loved her physical quirks.

"So maybe," he stepped closer as he calmed down although his lust had yet to leave the parking lot. He just wouldn't admit it. "There's a remedy to this—" He jammed his hands into his jacket pockets and rocked on the balls of his heels.

"Affliction?" she opted opening her door with an audible sigh.

"Well, I wouldn't put it that drastically." Jack grimaced and rubbed his neck.

"I'm taking antidepressants, sir, and according to my personal calendar, I should be done ovulating anytime now."

"Oh! Me too. Taking antidepressants, I mean. Still it doesn't seem to help much."

She glowered.

"Well, I'm just saying . . ." He cocked his head her direction.

"Sir, we can't tell Doctor Brightman. It will just happen next month—"

"Same time, same station. Yeah, you're right. I'll call in some favors."

"With whom?"

"Loki."

"Oh, yeah, right, the wacko Asgard who's responsible for mini-you and me." She snorted. "Why not resurrect Nirrti while you're at it. I'm sure she'd just love to play chess with our DNA again!"

"Huh? What's that suppose to mean?" He leaned against the opened car door his face inches from hers. His heart rate picked up.

"I—I don't know." Sam dropped her head and rubbed her temples as if in pain. "Look, I've a date . . ." she trailed off.

"Whatcha know. Me too." He countered.

She straightened and looked at him. "Well, that's good. I mean I'm happy for you, sir, really." He heard the tremor to her soft voice.

The comfort zone between them chilled.

"Yeah, thanks. I'm doing okay. Great in fact. So go home and screw Pete's brains out." He gave his award-winning grin. '_Did he just say that?'_ He saw her wide-eyed expression. "Sorry, I—."

With a gasp, Sam leapt into her car and slammed the door. Jack stood there watching her burn rubber. Worse, he swore she was crying!

Stunned by what she'd just witnessed, Kerry Johnson stood in the parking lot's shadows while her boyfriend repeatedly kicked the tire of the adjacent car before stomping off to his V8. She followed at a distance and then halted just out of view. She assumed he'd drive off. He didn't. Jack opened the passenger door and rummaged through his glove compartment until he found the object of his desire—a crumbled pack of cigarettes. Jack smoked?

He proceeded to incline against the rear bumper of his truck where his actions would be less noticed. Resting his head on the rear window, long legs crossed before him, he dragged heavily. He was a seasoned smoker. Jack smoked! In between puffs, he spouted four letter words that even burned Kerry's worldly ears. She'd not seen this side of Jack O'Neill. Ever! Snuffing out the partial smoke with his shoe heel, he clambered into his truck and after passing security turned in the opposite direction of his house.

Leaving base, Kerry contemplated whether he would go after Colonel Carter, but after their fiery exchange, she ventured not. Although tempted to follow him, Kerry decided to go to his place and see how long it'd take for him to come home. Yeah, she'd gotten his phone message. He'd lied. She wondered what else he'd kept from her. If the verbal and physical interaction she'd witnessed between him and Samantha Carter were any indication, he'd held back one very vital issue. General Jack O'Neill was a man in love, and not with Kerry.

Sam was crying! '_Take a deep breath, girl.'_ She berated herself but to no avail. Crap! For crying out loud! Whatever! Jack was getting laid! Regularly! He'd told her to go home and screw Pete! How could he be so cruel? How could he think she'd want to—Of course he'd think that. Why shouldn't he? After all, she was engaged to Pete. Just Pete hadn't had a piece of Samantha Carter in way too long! Which was why Pete wanted to get married now!

She was about to spend a lifetime with nice, boring Pete Shanahan whom she no longer desired. Talk about wacko! Why hadn't she called it off months ago, because she wanted to disprove her Black Widow Spider curse? Yeah that, and now she was stuck proving to herself, she could get it on with someone other than Jonathon J. O'Neill.

Holy Hannah, she couldn't stop thinking about him. It'd been torture standing there in the parking lot with him so close. Done ovulating, my butt! She'd lied about not wanting him. She'd wanted him bad. Still did. And knowing what Teal'c had told her. How she'd managed to not blurt to Jack was an absolute miracle. Nirrti! Cassandra was their child! Their daughter! Sam swiped at the tears of joy and sorrow that sluiced down her heated cheeks.

No wonder Jack and Cassie looked alike and the special bond they had, despite not knowing the truth. Sam clamped down on her lower lip until it hurt. She wanted to drive straight to the university and tell Cassandra. But, as Teal'c had pointed out, reviving Jack's memory of their _branding_ had to come first and then they needed to tell Cassandra together.

Sam's head throbbed with pain. There was so much to absorb, to recall. Jack and Pete had it out at O'Malley's and Daniel had been there! Which explained why Daniel knew something weird had happened that night. She and Jack were _branded_ as one body, heart and mind with Ancient DNA! She'd broken up with Pete! Teal'c hadn't known that for certain, but their conversation had revived her memory of calling Pete. And then Fifth and Replicarter had entered their individual homes and brainwashed them!

Dear God in Heaven, why hadn't she remembered any of this, maybe because a part of her hadn't wanted too? But she remembered it all now! Trouble was, Jack didn't.

And they were all over each other because she was ovulating. That's what human life mates did even without Ancient DNA. It made sense why she'd resorted to taking anti-depressants that Mackenzie had prescribed after Janet died. She recalled similar prescription for Jack and Daniel. She hated taking the pills but they'd suppressed her sexual desires. Or, had they? From what Teal'c said, she and Jack were only sexually attracted to each other. And, that no Tauri conception control or sexual depressants would affect them.

Then why was Jack with Kerry? '_Stop thinking so much, Carter.'_ She couldn't.

Teal'c intended to talk to Jack tomorrow on Sam's day off. So, she hadn't expected him to be waiting in the parking lot. She'd almost thought Teal'c had spoken to him, that he was going to take it out of the room. But no, he'd just been worried she had some hormonal imbalance or Fifth had messed with her and was blaming her for their primitive sexual urges. Which led her to believe he knew more than he led on and that's what got her really ticked off. What if he'd known all along? Which would explain why she didn't want to have sex with Pete.

Pete? Thank the stars, he was working a double shift today and wouldn't be home until midnight. Besides no way could she deal with him tonight. Sam needed to think. Bad enough he'd been calling her non-stop since he'd left the base. Actually she'd not seen him since Dad requested he have sometime alone with Pete. When she'd returned less than twenty minutes later, Dad was alone and said he'd escorted Pete to the elevator, coz Pete needed to get back to work. Before she could respond, Sam got called to the

Control Room and let the matter drop. That was until Pete started leaving her urgent messages that they had to talk first thing—about Dad.

And tomorrow they were supposed to pick out flowers and the cake. She couldn't! Not now. Somehow, she had to put things off. She couldn't marry Pete without knowing where she and Jack stood. If what Teal'c said held any merit, she and Jack still had a chance at happiness. Sam's mind wandered to Dad. He'd been trying to tell her the last while. Why hadn't she listened?

Sam pulled onto the freeway and speed-dialed Pete.

"Hi."

"Sam?"

"You expecting someone else?" she carelessly snapped.

"Um, no. It's just I've been calling you all day . . ."

"I'm sorry. Had fires to extinguish and I'm exhausted. Got a bad headache. I'm going to bed."

"You want me to come home early and—"

"No!" She heard his injured sigh. "Look, it's been a rough week and—."

"You've been saying that a lot, Sam. Heck, we're getting married and I feel like your brother instead of your fiancé. Does this have to do with me meeting your dad today?"

"No, I—"

"We really got off on the wrong foot. He doesn't like me at all . . ."

"Now, Pete—"

"Do you know what he said after he asked you to give us a few minutes alone?"

"No." But, after talking to Teal'c she, could imagine.

"He said and I quote, '_Look, Pete, I'm sure you're an okay guy and Sam obviously thinks highly of you. But she's not in 'love with you.'"_

Sam startled with a mixture of anger and surprise at her father's meddling tongue. It was out of character for Jacob Carter to interfere in Sam's affairs. "Anything else?" she choked out.

"Plenty. He then got in my face and said, '_But you need to realize that you have nothing in common with my Sammy. And as long as she's at the SGC, you won't. There's only one man who understands and knows her better than she knows herself and you're not him_."'

Wow!

"Sam, even though he didn't mention names, I've got a good suspicion who your father meant." She heard the rage in his voice, but before she could speak, he babbled, "And as your dad escorted me to the elevator he said, _'There's no way in this universe I will stand by and let you marry my baby girl! You are not the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with.' _Just what the hell did he mean, Sam?"

"I don't know, Pete, and I'm sorry Dad spoke to you that way. He had no right!" she lied. Sam's mouth went dry. She really did have a headache. "I'll talk to Dad in the morning, promise." She took a chance. "But, in all honesty, you do deserve someone better than me . . ."

"Hey, we've had this conversation before, Sam. You getting cold feet again? Coz if so, we can postpone the wedding."

Sam worried her upper lip. Pete had wanted to elope the day she'd accepted and she'd vacillated too many times because she loved Jack. Still, she wouldn't end it over the phone. Pete deserved more. "No. I've got some professional issues to clear up. Please be patient with me?"

A pregnant pause.

"Okay. We'll go out for breakfast, deal?"

"Deal."

"I love you, Sam."

"Me too." She could no longer say she loved him and had been dancing around the issue for months. Surely, he'd noticed?

Hanging up, guilt washed over Sam like a tidal wave. This wasn't Pete's fault. She was using him. And Dad knew it. Somehow, she had to find out if Jack still cared more than he should for her.

Although Jack was always a loudmouth he rarely spoke crude to her, well, until tonight proclaiming he got laid regularly and had someone. Plus, Jack never lied to her, which meant he did have a woman on the side and he was getting sex. Which meant the branding hadn't lasted, at least, for him.

Tears stung her eyelids. What'd ya expect, Sam, for Jack to stay celibate and faithful to you the rest of his life? Yes! Wow, talk about being on an ego trip, girlfriend! She'd assumed because of his religious convictions he'd not be messing around without a marriage license. Like you should talk. Even if you have been sleeping alone for months, Pete's living with you, and people make assumptions, especially since you're engaged. Actions speak louder than words, Sam, even when they aren't true.

Recalling Kerry Johnson and him together in his office this morning made her head and heart ache. She'd been jealous. Still was. Hormones and save the galaxy be screwed! No matter what the outcome, Sam would transfer out of the SGC. She could no longer work with Jack O'Neill.

'_Deception wears many faces,_

_And most often one fails to see _

_The greatest deceiver of all—is thee.' _

CHAPTER ELEVEN 

Jack tried his best not to wake Kerry as he slipped wearily between his sheets and curled up on his side, hugging his pillow. He wished she hadn't come tonight, thought his message clearly stated he'd see her in the morning. Maybe she hadn't checked her voicemail. Besides, it'd become a habit the last two weeks, her staying overnight. And while his male ego liked the idea of waking up with a gorgeous woman beside him, his heart wished she were someone else. Sam.

He had spotted Kerry's car three hours back but instead of driving in, he'd driven past his house to avoid the hot-blooded woman who'd been warming his bed. And what did he think about after he drove to the _Garden of the Gods_ and proceeded to sit beneath a certain blue spruce for two hours? Sam! Crap, she was actually marrying that dickhead, Pete! She actually loved the guy! And Jack still loved her. And that's why he wasn't home wrapped in Kerry's Johnson's arms having sex, well giving her sex. The least he could do, right?

Man, how'd he get into this fricking mess? Oh, yeah, he'd been trying to move on, really he had. Sparks flew on his first date with the long legged brunette, at least the physical kind. That's what counted right? Heck, Kerry Johnson was stunning, intelligent, and witty. She laughed at his jokes like Carter. In all honesty, she was a lot like Carter, even built like her with the same heart-shaped face, mouth and nose. Man! No wonder he'd been attracted to her! She was a brown-eyed, brunette Samantha Carter!

Jack scratched his whiskered jaw, flipped onto his left side and gazed at the sleeping woman in the sheer negligee he'd given her. One, he'd bought for Sam—. Kerry. '_Think Kerry. Yeah! Think about how you make her whimper with desire, Jack, how much she wants you.__And she's here because you're good at it. Sure are!'_

He grinned._ 'Not that you're bragging. Of course, you are! Women haven't been a mystery to you for sometime. You know your way around their_ _luscious curves, how to please them and you're not dead yet, but —Geez, still no heat in the radiator, Jack! Zippo. Nada. Not all systems go. But as soon as you think of Sam. Oh, yeah, a hot steady burn—_He groaned as Kerry stretched catlike and nuzzled his shoulder--a burn snuffed out with physical contact from the gorgeous woman beside him. Dang! Well, at least, he'd tried.

"Jack?" Her eyes fluttered open.

"Umm," he softly answered willing, praying her back to sleep. It wasn't her fault he was a jerk and that he had stooped so low as to use her to get over the love of his life, his ex-wife.

"It's past two." She glanced at the clock.

"Yeah, one of my teams was over-due." He clamped down hard on his inside cheek as punishment for his lie then winced as his tongue flicked over the bruise and he tasted blood. '_Serves you right, O'Neill!'_

"Again?"

"Hush. Go back to sleep." He brushed her arm as it curled around his chest and she leaned over kissing his open mouth. Jack didn't respond. Couldn't.

"Wanna play?" Her hand wandered southward.

He gently snatched her teasing fingers and brought them back to his chest. "I'm really tired, Kerry." He couldn't and wouldn't call her babe or hon. Besides Ms. Johnson wasn't into romantic endearments. Another thing she'd made clear when they'd started dating.

"Oh." He heard the sulk in her voice and flinched. She reached over and switched on the bedside lamp.

Jack screwed his bloodshot eyes shut before opening them.

She propped on her elbow, tossed back her long brown hair and gazed at him, suspiciously. "Jack, is something wrong . . . between us?"

"Of course not." '_Liar!'_

"I mean we're good together?"

"Yes, we are." He rubbed her arm.

"And the sex has been great except the fact you can't . . ." She glanced away with a strained expression.

"Kerry, long before we got serious I explained I can't get it up, which I'm sure proved a secret challenge for you. But I'd understand if you wanna call it quits." He drew her closer and kissed her forehead. This impotency thingy with her was unfair.

"If that was the only thing I'd wanted I'd be gone by now, Jack. You know there's medication—"

"Hey! That is so not my problem." He defended. "Besides I tried that crap and nothing happened. But if you want I can," he trailed a hand across her breasts. "Satisfy you."

"Whoa, General! You sexually please me more than any man I've ever known. You're a generous lover," she said against his t-shirt. "And I speak from personal experience."

He smiled despite himself. Yeah, he was still the _Man_!

"So want to talk about it? I mean is there something you haven't told me about how or why the last download of the Ancient library made you . . ."

"Classified." He avoided her insightful brown eyes.

"Um, Jack, I'm privy to almost everything stamped classified at the SGC, including nine and a half years of video and audio tapes. I'm more than aware that your condition is due to going Ancient. What I don't understand is why you are sexually stimulated when you're around Colonel Carter."

"Huh? Well . . .I—um, didn't get the memo." He'd not expected that! Jack swore she'd just kicked him in the gut, nope lower, the balls. A strained moment hung between them.

"Please, Jack, I've seen you together and I know Carter possesses a Naquadah marker. Just trying to finger out why she turns you on and I don't. I mean, is it just me?"

"Heck no! It's not that I don't get turned on in my head with you or even looking at other women. It's just, well, the equipment short-circuited."

"No physical stimulation, huh?"

"Nope." He shrugged thankful the dim lighting concealed his blush.

"It's nice to know it's not me." She exhaled a quivering sigh. "Then again, I've heard the rumors." She touched his jaw and turned his face to hers.

"About me and Teal'c?" He chuckled praying this rumor wasn't about—

"You and Colonel Carter." She wasn't laughing.

"Oh." His voice hitched an octave. "Um, thought you were above believing in grapevine gossip, Ms. Johnson." He dropped into his superior CO mode.

"I am, but there's years of concrete data regarding you two. Such as the Special Forces assignment and the White House Ball date. And, you know, that degree I have in Interruptive Body Language comes in handy when watching eight years of SGC Briefing Room sessions. You and Carter actually developed a secret code language. Just haven't figured out all the vowels yet. Boy, can you two talk and I don't mean on ways to defeat the Goa'uld." She snorted sarcastically.

Jack knew he had that deer caught in the headlights look. He was so dead.

Surprisingly, she smiled. "Not to mention the Za'tarc test. I also read Kinsey's report. And yet General Hammond adamantly denied there was ever anything between you and Carter—I, for one, think he doth protest too much." She winked.

"Ahh, for cryin' out loud!" He shot upright in bed. "That's all in the past, Kerry! Sure, we dated before I got re-commissioned and assigned to the SGC. Was that a crime?" He swung his legs over the bed and looked for his sweatpants.

"No, it wasn't. Jack?" She launched herself after him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Before Doctor Jackson died, we talked."

"You did?" Frick! He'd kill Daniel! Whoops, scratch that.

"Yes, he said he was on the verge of proving that Ancients had a unique mating ritual, called _branding_ and that you and the colonel are the first documented couple in thousands of years —"

"Kerry!"

"No, Jack, hear me out. It's obvious something's still going on between you and the Colonel. I need to know if I've got competition. If we're going to have a future you must be honest with me."

_Future? _He turned into her and glanced into her deep brown eyes. Honest? Didn't she know he'd flunked Communication 101 twice? Three should be a charm. Despite what his heart said, his lips consoled her with lies. "It's over, Kerry. Has been for along while. She's getting married and you agreed to go with me."

"And you're okay with that? Samantha Carter getting married in a big church wedding?"

"She's getting married at the Radisson."

"Exactly. Doctor Daniel told me the colonel would either get married under the stars or in church. Wonder why she'd opt for a Justice Of The Peace . . ."

"Don't know. Don't care." He looked at a spot beyond her shoulder, a photo of Cassie. "Carter made her decision. So have I. Besides there's the regs and other stuff."

"And you're willing to let her go?" She drilled.

"I want her happy. She's happy. Got no choice." He forced his gaze back to her cautious one.

"Yes, you do." She drew him back to the bed and urged him to lie down. Crawling over him, she slipped between the blankets and nuzzled into his embrace.

"I don't deserve you, Ms Johnson."

"No, you don't. But I'll let it slide for now."

When he made a gesture to pleasure her, she stopped him. "No." she insisted. "I don't want sex anymore, Jack."

"Uh!" Well, that was a first!

"Emotionally, we're both on the rebound. I admitted upfront I was getting over my divorce and not looking for anything serious. But, I definitely wanted sex. And I'm sure not disappointed with your performance, General O'Neill. Just wish I could return the sexual favor." She touched him intimately but still didn't get a rise.

Sex. Why did that word sound so cold and selfish? '_Because it is, Jack.'_ He waited for God to zap him. Even though he'd not had intercourse with Kerry he was fornicating and hadn't thought twice about it. Well, he had, but not enough to stop him. But realizing his and Sam's daughter's picture had been a witness to him having sex with Kerry all these weeks made him want to puke! _'How low can you go Jack O'Neill? Obviously, pretty low!'_

He felt Kerry watching him. No doubt the CIA psychology major was dissecting his body language.

"Although you never said anything, Jack, I suspect playing the field is not your bag. You're into lifelong commitment, marriage and kids. You're also comfortable enough in your own skin to be alone the rest of your life."

"Am I that transparent?" He scrubbed his face.

"Yes." She trailed a hand beneath his t-shirt.

"Yes, well, as you've noticed I'm adaptable." He toyed with the strap of her gown. Even if he couldn't perform, he could satisfy her as he'd done before.

She smiled back. "Yes, you are. But I suspect were I someone you '_cared about a lot more than you should' _you'd have a hard-on and would be having intercourse. It wouldn't just be sex, would it, Jack? It'd be lovemaking."

'Oh,' he mouthed and closed his eyes.

"This Ancient gene issue aside, you've been taking antidepressants which would further account for your low sex drive. But I don't think the reason you're taking them is job-related. You've handled far more stressful situations without resorting to medication."

"Oy." She was good!

"And you talk in your sleep, General." She yawned and rested her head on her pillow. "A lot."

"Wow!" He looked over at her.

"Yes. But I didn't know you and the colonel got married on Chulak, until General Carter told me."

"Just shoot me!" _Dad! What? Why?_

"So you're divorced?"

"An annulment," he muttered feeling the need for a beer. No Jack Daniels. But somehow he suspected drugs and booze might not give him the results he needed, other than the need to have his stomach pumped. As of now, he was swearing off antidepressants.

"Don't worry, my lips are sealed." She closed her pretty eyes.

"Geez, Kerry. I'm amazed you haven't walked."

"Thought about it. But I like you too much, Jack, and that's the problem."

"What?"

"We're having a great time together, but you're not in love with me, not even close."

"Kerry, we agreed to keep it simple, uncomplicated." He defended, using her words.

"Yes, we did and I'm okay with that for now."

"For now?"

"You have a decision to make, Jack. And I suggest you make it soon. Now get some sleep."

"You're not leaving?"

"Only if you want me to." She opened her eyes and waited for his answer.

"No." Feeling relieved that they'd talked Jack drew her into his arms. "Look, unless the world is in peril, I'll take the afternoon off and grill steaks."

"Without burning them?"

"Hey, I don't burn my steaks."

"Right." She yawned. "And Jack?"

"What?"

"When you decide you want to make love, let me know."

"That could be awhile . . . I mean." He glanced due south.

"Jack, even though you're more than generous satisfying me, your heart's not in it. I assume that like most men, you need to know that you are desired and can please a woman, no matter the situation."

"Guess so." He admitted, feeling pathetic.

"So next time you want to be intimate I want all of Jack O'Neill, not just his talented body parts. If you haven't noticed, I'm a very patient woman." She kissed his cheek and settled back against him. "Now sleep, General."

Yeah, she definitely was patient and special. A lot like Sam. Jack sighed against Kerry's soft curly hair and tried to think about her. But when he shut his eyes a pair of azure blue eyes haunted him. Moisture seeped beneath his eyelids. Sam. He ached with such intensity for her that the very marrow of his bones burned. At that moment, Jack knew he'd long been committed to one woman and prayed it wasn't too late to win her back. And if he couldn't, Kerry was right. He could and would live out the rest of his days on his own. Tomorrow, he would tell Kerry his decision. Somehow he didn't think she'd be surprised.

Kerry Johnson awoke and glanced at the clock. It was four am. In a fetal position, hugging his pillow, Jack O'Neill was talking in his sleep—again. In fact, one of the reasons she didn't stay over every night was so she could sleep decent at her apartment. But she'd never tell him that. Most often, he was heckling Baal or Anubis, or back in an Iraq prison, at least from what she'd deciphered from his mumbling. She thought to slug him or roll him over, but he'd warned her that waking him could prove hazardous to her health. Kerry believed him. Besides this one-sided somewhat coherent dialogue held her mesmerized.

Silence settled and she closed her eyes only to hear, "Sorry didn't tell you, Babe, Cass is our daughter or what Nirrti did to us. Geez, Sam, I love you, always have. We're branded. Forever okay, yeah, that's it, go ahead cry. I'll always be here for you. Always." His voice trailed off and a deep masculine sob escaped his flat mouth.

Confident, smart-lipped Jack O'Neill cried? Closing her own damp eyes Kerry turned and curled up beneath the blankets. She'd never setout to get emotionally involved with him. But she had and realized that it'd been a huge mistake on both their parts. She had to get out before she got in too deep.

She'd had her share of affairs and two failed marriages. She was too worldly and liberated for one black and white Jack O'Neill. Oh, she knew he was supportive of her career. His relationship with Colonel Carter proved he was all for women's rights.

But deep down and despite his age Jack wanted the white picket fence and kids, lots of kids from what he'd hinted and a dog. She disliked dogs. And didn't want children. The main reason she'd dated Jack was she'd assumed they'd not have to deal with that issue. She was wrong. And she'd long concluded marriage was not her forte. She'd said that upfront. And yet he'd pursued her. And now she knew why. Just like her, Jack had wanted a distraction from his broken heart and watching the woman he loved marry someone else.

"Dorothy?"

'_Dorothy! Who's Dorothy?' _

Jack rolled over, nuzzled Kerry's collarbone and kissed her there. Despite her anger and confusion, she shivered at his tenderness. Her dad used to do this to her mom. She'd thought it so personal and intimate. So far, Jack had never hugged her that way, but then she wasn't Samantha Carter.

And then she felt it. Jack O'Neill had a raging erection! Kerry lowered her hand to touch him. Wow! It wasn't only real it was huge! When he rubbed against her thigh it took all Kerry's willpower to not take advantage of the situation. After all, she had not had that part of him or any man in quite sometime.

"Sam," Jack sighed out in that sexy lisp that Kerry had fallen for months ago. Still hearing another woman's name on his lips killed the temptation. Yep, Jack O'Neill had issues!

Did Samantha Carter have any idea how much she'd hurt this dear-hearted guy? How much he still loved her? Kerry knew it wasn't fair to lay all the blame on the other woman for the man's unhappiness.

"It takes two to tango, Jack." Easing from his embrace, she decided she'd give it awhile longer, like twenty-four hours. After all, she really did like him. A lot. And yes, he definitely had issues. But he also grilled great steaks!

The phone was ringing. Jack patted the bedroom floor for the cordless and dragged it to his ear. "Whaat!"

"Sir? Teal'c's back and it sounds like we have a problem," Carter said regretfully.

"I knew it. Alright, I'll be there soon as I can." He dropped the phone and shut his eyes. "Crap." Then became aware of a warm hand on his back. Kerry. Yawning, he drew upright, smiled and brushed her long hair from her face. She was beautiful.

"What was that?" she asked through a yawn.

"Sorry. Trouble in Jaffa land." He smiled down at her, toying with her hair.

Kerry groaned and tipped her head back for a kiss.

"Gotta go." He sighed out. "I'm sorry."

With a nod Kerry waited for his usual deep kiss. Morning breath aside, Jack couldn't will himself to meet her soft inviting lips. Instead he grazed the bow of her mouth and shoved out of bed. Sam had never left his mind.

Jack headed for the shower. Watching him through slit eyes, Kerry slumped back into his bed. That had hardly been the hot kiss he'd have given her a week ago. Sisterly was more like it. Stewing, she waited for him to return and kiss her goodbye or make some lewd suggestion of what he'd do to her tonight. Instead, he exited the bathroom from the hallway door. Coward!

Ten minutes later she heard the garage door open and the engine of his truck startup. Who was she kidding? Oh, she'd show for lunch today but, in all honesty, it was over. Kerry was not the type of woman to wait for the man to show her the door. No, she would do the honors! Besides admitting she'd had access to his files and viewed videos she felt pretty certain Jack wasn't a happy camper. He was a private guy and the fact she'd gone behind his back would bite her sooner or later. Maybe that's why she'd done it. She'd wanted to get him angry last night and it hadn't happened. Still, she'd seen and heard more than she wished she had about his life and military missions, especially off world. It was amazing the man hadn't gone insane and put a gun to his head!

'_The guy's got issues! Creepy issues_. _Not that I can't work with them but I so can't relate to having a Goa'uld in my head, being tortured, killed and revived a dozen times. And the point is, Samantha Carter can relate. They've shared experiences I can't ever imagine nor want to. I'm out of their league. Maybe I should talk to the Colonel, make sure she really has dumped him. I mean, what if it was a misunderstanding? What if it's just the stupid regs keeping them a part? And then there's Jack insistence we keep our relationship a secret from the SGC, until the Colonel's wedding.'_

"Wow! As Jack would say, he doesn't give a rat's butt about the SGC. He doesn't want Samantha to know. And if you have to ask why, you're the one with issues, Kerry Johnson."

Her mind made-up, Kerry took her time. She showered, dressed and then collected her personal effects and clothing. She tossed them in her overnight bag, including the negligee. As she reached for her skirt in his closet, her fingers brushed a hatbox on the overhead shelf and it tumbled to the floor and fell open.

Lowering on her knees she picked up the box cover and then froze. The box held memorabilia.

A small, stuffed brown dog.

A spoon.

Two sets of dog tags intertwined—Jack's dog tags and someone else's. Whose? Like she didn't know, but glanced anyways. Yep. Captain Samantha Carter and Colonel Jack O'Neill.

A red, hand painted yoyo that she turned over and read, "To Jack, forever okay. Always, Sam." Kelly winced. She shouldn't look any further but curiosity and jealous kicked in.

She dug deeper into the box, finding a zip-locked bag with a woman's medium-size, gray, tank top number folded with extra care, and it still held a fragrance of strawberries, vanilla with a hint of cinnamon.

An empty age-checked blue piggybank.

A hot fuchsia thong and matching Size C bra!

A cracked plastic white bowl. Weird.

And, a guy's black thong with the face of Homer Simpson. Wow! Unless Jack was a closet gay it had to be his. Why?

And a frayed, billfold-size photo of Jack, Sam and a girl of about ten or eleven. Jack's hair was brown and Samantha Carter looked younger. His arm was slung possessively over Sam's shoulders while the child held a dog and smiled up at them. This must be Cassandra Fraiser? Until last night Kerry had yet to figure her into the equation. The personnel files of Doctor Janet Fraiser had listed an adopted child, an alien girl. Jack said he'd become Cassandra's surrogate dad. And, after Fraiser's death, he and Sam were appointed joint guardians. Yeah, right. '_Oh, what a tangled web we weave, General.' _The similarity between the freckled-faced, brown haired girl and Jack were undeniable, not to mention she had Colonel Carter's fair complexion, heart shaped face and mouth.

Kerry's eyes widened further when she picked up a framed photo of Jack and Sam wedding picture on Chulak. They looked happy! And the way Jack gazed at his ex-wife—Samantha Carter. There was so much love, so much passion and devotion. Envy filled her. _'Would he ever look at me like that?' _Knowing the answer, Kerry buried her budding emotions, shut the box and set everything back in order. She retrieved her luggage, removed the house key from her key chain and set it on his kitchen counter. She wondered how long before he noticed.

CHAPTER TWELVE 

SGC: 0720 Hours

"Dad?" Sam fell into stride along Jacob Carter as he stepped onto the mid-landing of the metal stairs to the Briefing Room.

"Hey, Kiddo. Jack just got in. He's up there with Teal'c and Bra'tac. Looks pretty serious with Anubis—"

"I know." Sam encircled his forearm and pulled him against the stair's railing. In a hushed voice, she said, "Pete told me what you said. How could you, Dad?"

Gently gripping her trembling shoulders, Jacob sighed out. "Look, Sam. I admit I didn't go easy on him—"

"Easy? You were insensitive and rude! Not to mention you said I'm not in love with him!"

"Because you aren't. We both know you're in love with Ja—,"

"Um, yoo there, Carters." Her CO stood at the top of the landing. "You called me remember?" Jack eyeballed Sam and tipped his silver head.

She blanched, her heart showed and she felt Jack's probing gaze.

"Speak of the de'l." Jacob winked and then gestured to let her walk ahead of him.

"Coming, General." Sam acknowledged when Jack tapped his wristwatch for effect. She verbally tossed over her shoulder to her father. "Don't you dare share one word of this with _'him,'" _she emphasized.

"Don't worry, Sammy, I'd have to be _dying_ before I'd do that."

The serious sincerity of her dad's remark startled Sam. When they entered the Briefing Room Jack sat down at the head of the table with Jacob to his right and Sam beside her father. When she realized Dad was grinning like a Cheshire cat, she nudged him to stop.

Of course, nothing got by the general and she watched his black eyebrows hike up his tanned forehead.

"Hey, kids, what'sup?" He looked suspiciously from Sam's sour expression to Jacob's smirk. "I miss somethin'?"

"Just a father-daughter spat." Jacob smiled, bumping Sam with his knee.

Sam jerked and sat up straighter.

"So who won, Colonel?" Jack winked and stretched his long arm past Jacob, his fingertips brushing her wrist, encouraging her. His innocent warm gesture felt as familiar as breathing. After all, he touched Teal'c and Daniel just as often, even Dad. So, in knowing that, it shouldn't have caused an inferno to charge through her body. But, as always, it did.

"No one." She ended their exchange and flipped through the report. As if he sensed her agitation he pulled back and tapped his briefing folder. Her cold response bothered him. She couldn't help it.

"Ah," Jack drawled and glanced from one Carter to the other, before his lips thinned out and he set his attention on Teal'c and Bra'tac. "Okay, campers, give me the peachy news in twenty words or less . . ."

'**The very young do not always do as they are told . . . Ya think?'**

Eyes glazed over, Jack sat behind his desk looking at the mountain of paperwork, _'looking,'_ being the operative word. He felt nauseous and had the stress headache to match. He told himself it was the whole Anubis and Jaffa bedlam. Heck, the world might end today and he was thinking about—Carter selecting wedding flowers with Petty boy. Jacob had rubbed it in his face. Apparently, Jacob now liked Petty. That sucked.

Yep, Jack had been the absolute gentleman and urged Carter to, "Go pick flowers." He'd presented his dimpled grin. So, why had she seemed miffed? After their falling out last night, he'd thought she'd have been doing the face rubbing, not Jacob.

At least they weren't in heat today and she hadn't said squat about her transfer request that he'd conveniently misplaced. Oh, yeah, it was in the shredder. Walter had informed him first thing that Carter had filled out a form for the open position at the Pentagon as lead consultant on the Stargate. The only good prospect was it would take her out of his chain of command and put thousands of miles between them. That also sucked! Yet, wasn't that exactly what he'd started months ago, to remove himself from the SGC? Yeah, and even that paper trail remained pending, sitting on Hammond's desk in DC. A work in progress Hammond had assured him. His gut told him this whole thing would backfire. Jack hadn't wanted Sam to leave SG-1, let alone the SGC. No, if anyone left, it'd be him. He was expendable. Carter wasn't.

"Hey, Jack, you busy?"

"No, but don't tell George." He glanced up to find the other Carter of his thoughts occupying his doorway, holding a partially filled water bottle.

"Your secret's safe with me." Jacob smiled warmly back.

Jack waved the older general into his domain. "C'mon in, take a load off your dogs, shoot some bull and have a donut." Jack pointed to the half-filled bakery box Teal'c had left behind. "Sorry, but T Man inhaled the jelly ones. Always does."

"Thanks, don't mind if I do." He shut the door and ignored the donuts.

"Closing the door." Jack's tenor pitch dropped a few notches and he poured himself a glass of water.

"Yeah, a significant sign." Jacob explained. "Or so they say."

"Really?" Jack came to his feet out of respect for the three-star general not to mention former dad-in-law.

As the older man approached Jack spotted his clammy pallor and how he looked thinner. Jack had noticed before but when he'd inquired, Jacob had shut him down. He didn't have to be told twice, least not with General Carter.

"So how's Selmak doing?" he asked absently, going through the back door to get to the front.

"Fine."

"Been awfully quiet this last visit. Selmy, I mean." Jack closed the folder before him and settled back into his new chair.

"Well, you know Selmak, a Tok'ra of few words. He only talks when he's got something worth saying."

"Yes. Right." Jack chewed his inner cheek the dragged his tongue over his lips. He didn't believe Jacob. "Well, don't tell Selmy but I miss the old snake. He always has some wisdom or amusing repartee to share with me, especially clichés and—"

"That's you and Charlie playing ball, huh?" Jacob gestured to one of the framed pictures on Jack's wall.

"Yes, Dad, that's me and Charlie, but then you know that." Jack frowned as the senior Carter skirted the issue of Selmak. Something was rotten in Demark and it wasn't Swiss cheese.

Jacob Carter donned the clammed-up look that Sam often mimicked. Jack knew better than press—for now. "So," he fiddled with his pen. "You're flying out to visit Mark and the kids again this afternoon?"

"That's the plan. And thanks for providing me with transportation to the airport. I didn't want to bother Sam this time."

"Think nothing of it."

Jacob coughed into his hand. Jack winced. That was no healthy cough.

"They'll be glad to see you." He leaned back in his chair and cupped his hands behind his head, pondering what was really going down with Jacob/Selmak. Jack's instant gut ache wasn't a good sign. A strained moment followed while Jacob glanced at the bakery and then turned green around the gills. Jacob never got sick or turned down food, let alone donuts. _What'sup?_

As comfortable as he and Jacob had become over the years, Jack knew the man wasn't here for chitchat and it wasn't about Anubis or the Jaffa. A lot had happened since he'd left seven months ago, including Sam and Jack's annulment and Sam's engagement to Petty. The fact they'd yet to discuss it proved a mixed bag for Jack. But he sensed his reprieve was about to end.

"I want to apologize for that incident between myself and Sam in the Briefing Room." Jacob looked sincere, but Jack suspected he had needled Sam because Jack was present. He refused to choke on the bait.

"No apology necessary. It wasn't my business to interfere."

"Yes it was."

Jack's brows skidded into his hairline. "Look, I realize Sam's under a lot of stress, between the Anubis shit and her wedding with Petty . . ." _Oy!_ "I mean Pete, yeah." He coughed and hoped he wasn't the shade of a pimento. He glanced at Jacob. Dang! The senior Carter was smirking. Jack examined the pen with intense interest.

"Anyways," he coughed, "it's her day off. Not like she doesn't have tons of downtime to collect. Months worth, actually." He smiled, which hurt. "I'm hoping she takes advantage of it for her honeymoon."

"You do?" Jacob bent forward and scowled, his brows vanishing into his perspiring baldhead. Did he have a fever?

"Of course. I'm happy she's happy." He twirled the pen like a baton. He never could lie to Jacob.

"Holy Hannah, Jack! What the hell happened while I was gone? She's your wife, for Heaven's sakes!"

Jack slid forward in his chair, dropped the writing instrument as his palms smacked against the mahogany desktop. "Was my wife! Past tense. Over. Done with. Finite! The marriage's been annulled. Heck, I'd figure you'd be bouncing off the walls giddy with euphoria."

"Are you nuts?" Jacob pushed to his feet and bracing his hands on Jack's desk, began to rant. "I'd finally accepted that you and Sam were married! I accepted that regulations or not, you were hopelessly in love with each other. And figured, sooner or later, you'd do the right thing and retire and go legit."

Jack raised a hand to interrupt, but Jacob's deadly glint lowered it.

"But no, what do I find? Sam's engaged to an Irish twit who smiles too much and has the nerve to call me '_Dad_' on our first introduction! And," he brandished his hand causing Jack to swerve from Jacob's lethal weapon. "Before that, I hear from George you're dating a CIA operative. Happy! What ever for? Especially when I know Sam's not happy!" He wheezed and sat down.

"Huh?" Jack felt like he'd missed something. Big!

"Are you deaf, dumb and blind, Jonathon J. O'Neill? My Sammy's miserable! She's been trying to convince me differently, but I know her. She's wearing the same phony smile when she took ballet lessons to please her mom. And shoving her fake happiness down everyone's throat, especially mine. Every time I ask if she's happy, she says, _'Dad, I'm really happy.'_ Do you know not once when she was with you she ever said, 'Jack makes me happy, Dad.' And you know why?"

"Nope. But I'm sure you'll tell me." Jack exhaled through his lips and closed his eyes a moment. His headache was about to become a ballistic migraine.

"Because she didn't have to! I could see that you made her happy. Even beneath her military veneer, she was downright delirious!"

"She was?" Jack's jaw slackened.

"Damn straight and you were too. That's why you walked around with that shit-ass grin on your face. Man, oh man, we could have a hundred Jaffa breathing down our necks and you two would find some reason to smile at each other."

"We did?"

"Yes!" Jacob shook his crimson colored baldhead in annoyance. "When she went missing on Alpha Site . . ." He shut his eyes and sighed out as if trying to compose himself.

When he heard the emotion tighten Jacob's throat, Jack's chest coiled. It'd not been one his better days. They'd nearly lost the most important woman in their lives, Sam.

"I knew that, besides you, if anyone could survive or escape that drone it'd be Sam. And yet by the time you found me, I'd given up hope. But when I saw your bulldog mettle and confidence that she'd survive and that you'd find her, my faith got restored. But the most important thing that helped me to believe was knowing beneath your practiced façade and sunglasses you were worried shitless too."

"Yes," Jack's voice dropped with a tremor. "I was. And I'm sorry if I acted . . ."

"Like a professional, kick ass CO looking for a missing team member?"

"Yeah." Jack sighed out. "That's my job. It's what I do. But it never meant I wasn't hurting and praying she'd be okay."

"I know." Jacob smiled warmly at him. "And Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Just want to say, you're damn good at what you do and it's been an honor serving with you these past six years."

"Why thank you, Jacob. Same here. But then we'll be working together for a long time, right, or should I say arguing?"

"Yeah. The reason we bicker so much is because we're too much a like, ya know."

"Yes, all our head-butting has been worth it." He smiled at Jacob, knew they'd gotten sidetracked but then maybe it was for the best.

"Sure was. Course besides arguing over whom was in charge of the missions most of it's been about Sam. Personally, I think we amuse her."

"Well then, there's that . . .Sam's warped sense of humor, I mean. Yeah, it's been a cool ride, Dad." Jack softly laughed, his heart picking up momentum as Jacob steered them back to the real reason he was here.

"You broke your promise, Jack. When I asked you to take care of her, I didn't just mean as your 2IC."

"I know." He acknowledged with a guilty tone and dragged a hand through his messed hair.

"And neither you nor Sam told me she was seeing someone else. If I'd known, I maybe could have—"

"What?" Jack spouted in annoyance. "Talked her out of fishing for a bigger, better, younger fish? If anyone could have stopped her, it would have been me. For crying out loud, I encouraged her."

"Well, I figured that much!" He snorted. "And now look at the fine kettle of fish you've made. Damnit, Jack, Sam should be ecstatic about picking out flowers for her wedding. But she didn't want to leave this morning, and not because of the Anubis threat, because she wanted to be here—with you, not Whatshisface!"

"Then why were you bugging her about wedding flowers?"

"To get her attention and annoy you. But you just stood there like a lump on a log, acting like a Mr. Nice Guy, like a patient, considerate CO."

"Coz, I am a nice guy, Jacob, and I am a patient, considerate CO!" Jack's fisted hand slammed the desktop and sent papers flying as Walter entered the Briefing Room and stared in from the adjoining window.

"General O'Neill?" Harriman cracked the door open as his disturbed voice came through the opening.

"What?" Jack barked.

"Is everything all right, sir?"

"Just fricking rosy, Walter! Now go do whatever it is you do around here!"

"Yes, sir!" The Sergeant closed the door and practically fled the Briefing Room.

"Patient? Considerate?" Jacob snickered and shook his baldhead.

"Your point?" Jack glared and scrubbed a hand through his hair, berating himself.

"As I was saying." Jacob Carter calmly turned back to him. "I know my Sammy. She's having second thoughts that she's making a big, huge mistake."

"Ah, crap, Jacob! Whatcha expect from me?" Jack tossed his hands.

"I expect that if you still love my daughter, you'll do right by her and by me." He dropped back into the chair and shut his eyes, breathing heavily.

"I thought I was doing the right thing," Jack muttered. "I let her fly."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're a stupid jackass?"

"Not since I became the_ Man_, Jacob. But thanks for the reality check." He sniffed and kneaded his aching temples with his fingertips.

"This Johnson woman? You serious about her?"

"Gave it a go." He shrugged. "But . . .no, not serious." He saw relief in Jacob's brown gaze.

"So." Jacob leaned closer in his chair. "Do you still love Samantha?"

Jack shut his tired aching eyes, and gave an affirmative nod.

"Holy Hannah! I wish I had the energy to toss both of your bony asses in a room and toss the key."

"It worked once. Teal'c and Daniel . . ." Jack sobered at the lethal expression on the older man's face. "Um, sorry." He rolled his eyes and prayed for heavenly intervention.

"I don't have time for this, Jack!" General Carter rose unsteadily and Jack rushed to his side, but the proud man shoved him off only to slump back into the chair.

"You okay, Dad?" Jack kept his hand on the older man's trembling shoulder.

"Yes. I just don't have much time left." He opened the water bottle and took a long swallow.

"Oh, you gotta return to the top secretive—we Tauri don't know where the hell it is, Tok'ra base?"

"No." Jacob rubbed his creased forehead. "Jack?"

"What?" He blew out through his mouth with a popping noise.

"I may not have always shown it, or said it, but I do love you like my own son."

Settling on the edge of his desk Jack looked at his hands and blushed. "Yeah, Selmak told me that a few years back, just before Sam and I got hitched."

"Because I let him. Guess you've rubbed off on me. Heck, I tried not to like you when we met in Washington, but I did. I just wanted you to hear it from me personally now. Besides Sam, no one ever calls me Dad. Not even Mark," he said with regret.

"Hey, I've never meant it disrespectfully, Jacob, sir."

Jacob smiled with a nod. "Jack, if I hadn't wanted you to call me Dad, I'd have shut you down years ago?"

"Yes. Yes you would have." Jack grinned. He loved Dad.

"You're the only man I fully trust to love her well and take care of her."

"Sam doesn't need me or anyone to take care of her, Jacob."

"Don't be an ass, Jack. We all need someone to love. Yes, you're both physically, mentally, and as much as I doubt it, emotionally self-sufficient—"

"Buut?" Jack brandished a hand.

"You're in love with Sam and she's in love with you. You guys were created for each other. In fact, Selmak insists you're _chosen hearts_ . . .or something like that. He's big into the Ancient's DNA stuff."

"Used to believe that, Jacob, maybe still do. But she's picked a younger, brighter and more attentive man." He sniffed a breath and pulled out his new plastic yoyo. He tried walking the dog, but it just wasn't as smooth as the wooden one Sam had given him years ago. He dropped it back into his pocket and scowled deep. Nothing was the same and never would be.

"Younger perhaps. But I highly doubt the brighter and more attentive part. Let me make this clear. I don't like Shanahan. Don't want to. Let alone have time to. Besides there's something shifty about him."

That got Jack's attention.

"Maybe, if I knew Sam truly loved him and was happy, I could—"

"What?" Jack's hands circled the air.

"Hell, I'm dying, Jack."

He opened his mouth, but Jacob waved him off. "You can't tell Sam! Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise, now tell me what's going on with you and Selmy?"

He did.

Jack apologized to Walter. Again.

Jacob never made it to the airport. Jack escorted him to the infirmary where they filled in Doctor Brightman on Jacob/Selmak's condition and put in a call to the Tok'ra. He had Walter contact Mark, but only relayed that Jacob wouldn't be coming today. It killed Jack that he'd promised not to tell Sam.

Jacob insisted he had time to talk to Sam, but first wanted Jack to get his act together and didn't want Sam to know they'd talked about personal issues, let alone Jacob's failing health. Times like this, Jack wanted to screw political protocol and bury diplomacy! But Jacob reminded him that if Sam ever found out he had talked to Jack first there'd be hell to pay! Sam's hell! Jack hated when Jacob was right.

Jack found himself with another serious dilemma. Cassandra. He'd assumed he had all the time in the world for Jacob to meet his granddaughter. Bad enough that Cassandra knew, but with Jacob off world this last year, it had given Jack another excuse for not telling Sam about Cassandra. '_Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive yada, yada.' _

Engaging their telepathic gift, Jack told Cassandra the sad news and she was on her way home. He now had to figure out how to tell Jacob and hoped it didn't all backfire, especially with Sam.

So far, so good, except for the matter with Jack and Sam's son, Re'tu Charlie or as he'd chosen to be addressed, Chuck, to distinguish himself from Jack's first son, Charlie. Not that there were as many similarities now. Chuck had grown into his own person but despite his symbiote's influence, Chuck remained uniquely human, thanks to Jacob.

Every since he'd blended with the Tok'ra Mu'ten, to heal his messed up body, Chuck and Jacob had established a great loving relationship. They were after all, grandpa and grandson. Because Jack and Sam couldn't be part of his life like they'd wanted, Jack envied his ex-father-in-law. But until this last year when the Tok'ra pulled a vanishing act, Jack and Sam had managed to keep in touch with Chuck. Neither had been able to tell their son that they were no longer together. And, now they had to tell Cassandra she had a fourteen-year-old brother, who was technically seven-years old, well more or less. Yep things just gotten sticker.

Jacob had requested Chuck be summoned and Jack had spoken to one of the Tok'ra through the gate. They said Chuck would be told, but he was on a mission—Jack turned livid. Just because Chuck's symbiote was six hundred years old, didn't mean Jack's teenage son had to be playing I-Spy! He'd no idea how Sam would respond to this crappy news.

Jack couldn't get Sam off his mind anymore than he could get her out his blood or heart. He revisited the last twenty plus years of his life including as far back as his first memory of Sam and Nirrti. Odd, he'd not remembered it until Teal'c had jostled his memory that day two years ago when Sam had almost turned into a puddle of H2O in Nirrti's dungeon. He'd realized then that the '_Keeper of the Stars'_ had brought him and Sam together for a significant purpose and not so it could end with her married to Pete. They had a daughter and son. After all, they'd been through, especially the last eight years, he believed they were going to grow old together. He just wished the Lord would show him how?

Nursing his seventh cup of coffee, he wearily dropped into his chair and eased a hand into his BDU pants pocket. He'd forgotten to take off his wedding ring yesterday afternoon. Fortunately he'd slipped it into his pocket before he collided with Carter in the corridor. Juggling the silver band between his fingers now, he contemplated all that wise Jacob had shared with him. The saddest news remained that Jacob and Selmak were dying.

"_As much as I love, Sam, I won't be here for her wedding, Jack. Truth is I couldn't stand to see my Sammy marry anyone else, but you. Promise you won't let her marry him?" _

"_I promise, Jacob."_

He unconsciously slipped the silver ring onto his wedding finger, picked up the phone and dialed Kerry's phone.

"Hi, Jack."

"Hey there. Say, there's some serious stuff going down here—" He looked at his left hand and how natural the ring felt there. Belonged there.

"Canceling our afternoon barbecue?" He heard the tenseness in her voice. This wouldn't be as easy as he hoped.

"No. Actually, it's important we talk. I'll be home at noon. Can you still get away that early?"

"Sure. I've already taken the day off."

"Sweet. See ya then."

"Bye, Jack."

"Yeah," his mind wandered to Sam and flowers. "See you in an hour." Jack hung up and noted the quiet dominant presence occupying his open doorway.

"C'mon in, T." He discreetly tried to ease the band off his finger but it bucked at his knuckle. He dropped his hands into his lap, trying to yank the ring free.

"Bra'tac and I are about to leave, O'Neill."

"Ahh, yes. Knew that. Want me to see you guys off?" He grimaced tugging away, then realized it wasn't the most discreet image from Teal'c's point of view. Nope, the Jaffa turned red beneath his bronze skin.

"That will not be necessary. However, I require a moment of your time." Teal'c entered the office and shut the door, looking at the floor while Jack yanked.

Yank!

Yank!

"Closing the door?" _Dang!_ Jack hoped this wasn't a repeat performance and Teal'c was dying! Jack never did trust that Tretonin.

"Deeply symbolic, O'Neill."

"Yeah, I've heard." He tugged on the ring and then flinched when it came off. Strange, he never recalled it fitting that tight before. "So what's on your hairy mind?" He dropped the band into his pocket then sucked his bruised knuckle.

"Besides many individual hairs?" Teal'c smiled with a brow raise, until his astute gaze tracked to Jack sucking his finger.

"Oy, you're still practicing. Good." Jack laughed. '_Now's probably a good time to stand and prove there is no action going on below the waist.'_ He stood and pulled the hem of his BDU shirt across his six-pack. '_See T, I'm so not playing with myself.'_ He unconsciously waved his left hand in the air, noting his knuckle was fiery red. Teal'c's tensed face softened when Jack retracted his misguided limb back into his pocket.

"I regret that circumstances do not allow us sufficient time needed to converse, O'Neill, so I will bite the headlights before I depart."

"That's _hit_ _the highlights_, T." Jack gently corrected.

"Whatever."

Jack grinned. "Sure. Spill." He gestured to a chair.

"It is you who should be seated, my Tauri brethren."

Jack so didn't like Teal'c's formal tone, let alone he only called him '_Tauri brethren,_' when it was personal crap. And it'd been a long time since . . .

"We need converse on the love relationships of you and Samantha Carter."

"Oh, for crying out loud! What is this? Bitch at Jack Day?"

"It is indeed."

CHAPTER THIRTEEN 

"Jacob?" Jack hated waking the sleeping man, but Cassandra stood anxiously at his side and Jack only had few minutes of legit privacy as he'd had Siler mess with the observation booth's audio and the security camera. They had about twenty minutes of guaranteed privacy.

"Jack?" Jacob yawned as he smiled and then looked at Cassandra.

"Um, yeah, I have something to tell you, Dad, but you first must know that Sam doesn't know yet." Jack scrunched his face and rubbed his neck.

Jacob smiled and reached out his translucent blue-veined hand to Cassandra. "Hey, kiddo."

"General Carter." Cassandra accepted his hand as he drew her closer. "I wish . . ." she nibbled her lower lip as tears welled in her eyes. Jack put his arm around her trembling shoulders and gave her a reassuring hug.

"Hey, I thought we came to an understanding, last time. No more formalities." Jacob lectured.

"Okay, Jacob." She smiled with a nod.

"How about ya call me, Granddad, Cass?"

Cassandra gaped and looked at Jack. "Dad?"

"I, um, err, wow!" Jack stuttered and shrugged at his daughter's shocked expression than at Jacob.

"Nice to know I can still mess with your head, Jack." Jacob gave a frail grin and urged Cassandra to sit on the edge of his bed, so he could put his arm around her.

"Hey, relax you two. I've known for sometime but vowed to the Tok'ra that I'd not tell you. Now I've no reason to keep silent." He reached up and smoothed Cassandra's long sandy brown hair. "I figured Sam didn't know. If she did, she'd be here."

Jack nodded with Cassandra. "I've meant to tell her, Jacob." He felt the heat of guilt stain his face.

Cassandra interrupted. "Even though I didn't agree with Dad's reasoning, I respected it Granddad, I'm sorry. We've lost so much time together. You're the only grandfather I've got."

Jacob gave a weak nod. "I'm sorry too, Kiddo. Seems the Tok'ra have been observing Nirrti for years. They even had spies among her Jaffa when she had been abducting humans from Earth for her breeding experiments . . . God help me, I'd no idea she'd kidnapped Sam or you, Jack, until Selmak told me four months ago."

"Whatcha want me to do, Dad?" Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels.

"Whatever you can to let me have some quality time with my granddaughter." He drew Cassandra closer and she bent over and kissed his baldhead.

"Good as done." Jack smiled at Cassandra and then turned to go find Siler—again. As he approached the SF's in the open doorway, he waved his hands. "Shoo! Give these folks some privacy!"

"Yes, sir!" The guards left the doorway and went to take their position at the end of the corridor. Being the _Man_, had advantages.

"Hey, Dad?" Cassandra chased after him and flung herself into his arms. "Thanks for telling me. For letting us . . ."

"Hey." Holding her snug, Jack struggled with the emotions strangling his voice. "I just wished it'd been sooner, Sunshine, and you two had more time together."

"We'll make it enough time, Dad." She smiled through her tears. Jack glanced over her brown head to where Jacob watched them with a tearful gaze.

"Cassandra?" Jack asked softly as he rubbed her tensed shoulders and then stepped back looking into her watery brown eyes. "Try to be strong. Let Jacob see himself in you, okay?"

"K." She wiped her nose against his BDU and smiled back. "Love you, Dad."

"Double ditto. Now go get to know your Granddad."

House! Dog! Head still spinning from the latest bomb Pete had dropped on her, Sam had lied and said she needed to be back on base. So here she sat in the general's driveway chewing her nails and staring at his beautiful house. The house she wanted to live in—with him. And if Jack wanted a dog, she'd buy it for him. It's not like she hadn't planned to break it off with Pete today. She had. She just needed to work into it and had hoped to talk to Jack this morning, first. Thanks to Dad that blew up in her face. And then she'd found herself with Pete, faking the, 'I'm_ Getting Married In The Morning''_ song and dance routine. And, to top it off, reassuring him that Dad really did like him. She was such a rotten, deceitful witch! She knew where that part of ISam had come from. Samantha Carter could be selfish and coldhearted. Pete deserved better.

Not sleeping last night and going over the last ten—scratch that—twenty-plus years of her life set things in perspective. Besides Dad and Mark, she had her own family, Jack, Cassandra and Chuck. Chuck was going to be another matter, but there had to be someway to convince the Tok'ra to let their son live her and Jack. Sam had every intention to win Jack back and fight to put her family together, again. She had already applied for two openings, one at the Pentagon and another at Area 51 and would gladly resign her post at the SGC, anything to have Jack forever, always. Now she had to prove it.

For the second time, Sam reached for the car's doorknob and then nervously slumped back in her seat. Easier said than done. One of the last times she'd tried to broach this subject was the morning Joe Spencer had waved a gun in Jack's face. If that incident had not occurred, she and Jack would have shared a beer omelet and she would have confessed her heart. But then, she got bent out of shape because Joe called Pete and almost blabbed everything. Praise God, she'd picked up the phone in time.

Sure she'd been angry that Jack had kept that vital information to himself and Joe had stuck his nose in their private affair. But charging into his office had been her excuse to take it out of the room. Trouble was, she hadn't expected him to pull the guilt _trust_ trip on her. Man, she'd never been so mortified. He'd shoved her unfaithfulness in her face and instead of admitting he was right, she'd told him to get his own love life. Sam had always known to never challenge Jack O'Neill on anything she didn't think she might lose, because he would follow through. And he did! Dumb blonde!

'_Okay, Sam, this has to happen!'_ She had to know where she stood. She drew a pained breath and let it out. Get a grip, woman! It's just Jack, and from that familiar smell he's doing one of the things he does best, burning steaks.

On the patio grilling, nope burning, Jack doused the charcoaled meat with more beer. His mind was so not on the food or the fact that Kerry had kept their lunch date. Thankfully, she hadn't pursued their conversation from last night. If anything, she seemed glad to see him. But there'd been no kisses or touches, just small talk about work. Of course, he couldn't tell her Anubis was back in town and she knew better than ask.

But he had noticed she'd cleared her toiletries from the master bathroom as well as her clothes, and his house key set alone on the kitchen counter. Jack felt relief. This was their last date. He'd intended to break it off after they ate but this was a matter of dignity for her. So he'd let her deal the cards. She deserved that much and more.

Knowing Jacob was dying brought his priorities and life into focus. Like remembering life in this world is fleeting. Although he still hadn't given up on Daniel dropping out of the clouds naked. No, he refused to believe that Space Monkey was dead. He couldn't, not now.

It also brought up the issue of him and Sam. Jacob had asked that he be there for her, especially when and after he died. This hadn't been the first time Jacob made that request. There had been several if he thought about it. The last, after Anubis' drone had attacked Sam. But Jack had let Jacob down. He wouldn't this time. He had promised to care for Sam, always. He would.

"'_I mean it, Jack. If you don't tell Sam you still love her and take care of her like a husband should, Selmak and I will haunt you the rest of your life—"'_ Not a pleasant prospect Jack looked forward to, a grouchy old general and a philosophical snake.

And then, before gating to Dakara, Teal'c played catch-up with Jack's scrambled gray cells. By the time he'd finished, Jack's emotions ranged from wanting to gut Fifth and Replicarter, to joyful relief! He and Sam weren't nuts, they were _Branded_! And Sam had given Pete the boot five months ago! Go figure!

Doh! Jack blinked and fanned the smoke rising from the grill. He was burning the steaks—again! He turned his beer bottle upside down and began dousing the fire.

"Hi, sir."

"Carter!" Jack squeezed out her name around the lump in his throat. Dang! Man, she looked hot in her pale blue sweater set and skirt.

"Look, I-I'm sorry to bother you at home like this, but, uh . . ."

"How'd you know I was here?" He glanced nervously toward the house.

"I saw the smoke." She indicated the grill with her electric smile.

"Oh, yeah." He brushed ashes off his long sleeved shirt and grimaced.

"Look, is this . . .is this okay? I mean I could have called first, but—"

"No . . .yeah . . .I mean, it's fine. So, um." He glanced at the house, praying Kerry didn't come out—at all. "What brings you to this neck of the woods on such a fine day in my backyard?" He flung his bottle around, sloshing beer over the bottle's mouth. '_You're pathetic, Jack!'_

"Well, actually, I've, um," she cleared her throat. "I've been sitting in your driveway for the last ten minutes trying to work up the nerve to come and talk to you."

Jack's brows danced upward. '_Crap! Is she about to say what I want her to say? Here? Now? Please, God, not now?'_ She looked pale and nervous, chewing her lower lip. '_Oh, yeah, the sky's about to fall!' _

"The truth is I've been trying to work up the nerve for a lot longer than that." She smiled anxiously up at him.

"Oh?" He gestured for her to continue and kept praying Kerry stayed put.

"Pete put a down payment on a house."

_That sucks!_ "Well, that's great!" He stabbed the barbecue prong into the steak, imagining it was Pete. She did realize he didn't mean _'great,' _right?

"It's a beautiful house." '_Oh,_ c_rap!'_

"But?" '_Please God?'_

"The-the truth is, I'm having second thoughts about the wedding."

"Why?" Massively confused, he stared at her, hoping she saw his well . . . massive confusion.

"See, the . . . the thing is, the closer it gets, the more I get the feeling that . . . I'm making a big, huge mistake."

'_Dear God! Jacob's right! She's going to say it here, now!'_ He looked helplessly at her, seeing her desperation, then glanced toward the patio doors. '_Say something, Jackass!' _

"Look, Carter, the . . . _'your timing stinks'_ I don't know what . . ." _'to say before Kerry waltzes out and you two start a catfight! Not that it wouldn't be entertaining for me a guy . . .Oy!' _

"Look, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but, uh . . .see, there's actually a very good '_reason'_ that I'm bothering you with this, and if I don't tell you now, I might never . . ."

Yes! Jack's heart soared. Dang! He spotted Kerry's reflection against the patio door, just before she strolled out of the house with a salad bowl in one hand and a dish of veggies in the other.

"Jack, I looked everywhere – I could not find . . ." And stopped dead in her tracks.

Jack watched Sam close her eyes in disbelief, then make a face before turning toward Kerry. Just shoot me, Jack screamed inside his head.

"Colonel Carter." Kerry glanced at Jack, who forged a casual smile.

Sam nodded at her, then turned to Jack. The hurt in her blue eyes shattered him.

"Ms. Johnson," he said in his bullfrog voice, yep goodtime to get laryngitis.

"Yeah, I didn't—I didn't . . ." Sam looked at her shoes.

"We were just . . . meeting here in my backyard on this fine day to discuss the state of affairs." '_What a moronic line of bull, Jack. At least be original.' _

Sam nodded and held his skittish gaze. '_Heck, she didn't buy it!'_

"Well, this is awkward!" Kerry juggled the dishes.

"Ya think?" Sam flung back at Jack.

Kerry came to his defense. "Jack didn't want anyone at the SGC to know about us." He hurried over and took the salad bowl and dish from her, the least he could do. '_Now what?'_

Obviously humiliated, Sam stuttered, "No, look, I, uh, uh, I'm sorry, this is my fault, I really, I shouldn't have come by unannounced like this."

Kerry glanced at Jack who'd donned a deadpan expression. She picked up the deflated dialogue. "Well, ya know, now that the cat's out of the bag. You're here, why don't you just stay? I'm sure there's enough charred meat on the grill for all three of us."

Jack gestured at Sam with a burnt steak. Even though he knew it was faked, Sam laughed.

"No–thank you–I, um . . ." Sam's cell phone rang. She removed it and looked at the Caller ID. "SGC," then, "Colonel Carter," she answered.

Kerry smiled at Jack and walked over. He offered her his beer bottle and waited for God to strike him dead. That reprieve didn't come. He had to clear this matter up now, even it meant losing Kerry's friendship and his career. '_Yep, soon as she hangs up I'll—'_

"What? When? Okay, I'm on my way." Sam shut the phone and waved it at Jack. "I-I gotta go. Uh, it's my dad." She turned and sprinted toward her car.

_No!_ Heart racing, Jack watched Sam's swift retreat. His first instinct was to give her chase, but he forced his feet to stay planted. Which hurt! He felt Kerry's tolerant gaze, turned toward her and took back his beer.

"We need to talk, Jack." She reached out but he bypassed her touch.

"Yes, but not now." His mind on Sam and Jacob, Jack doused the fire with beer, then felt Kerry's fingers coil around his wrist, stopping his action.

"Go to her." She gestured toward the driveway. Sam was already driving out.

"Kerry—I . . ." He held her understanding gaze and realized the cat was out of the bag.

"You need to get back to the base, I know." She offered a tight smile.

"Yeah." He nodded with a grimace.

"I'll lockup." She smiled reassurance.

"Thanks." He bent and kissed her cheek. "You're the best." And he raced down the patio steps to his truck.

"Yeah." Kerry tipped the warm beer to her lips. "But apparently not the best for you, Jack O'Neill."

Two hours later, Jack sat at his desk trying to make sense of the mess he and Sam had made of their lives. No! The mess Fifth and Replicarter had made of their lives. Sam was at Jacob's bedside, hearing that he was about to die. '_Dear Jesus, give me strength to be there for her!' _

A tap on his door caused him to look up. Kerry. '_God, help me out here?' _Jack smiled and gestured her into his office.

"How's Colonel Carter's father?"

"Doesn't look good."

"Sorry to hear that." She accepted his invitation and shut the door.

"Closing the door." _Oy! Again?_

"Yeah. Deeply symbolic."

"Really?" _Day ja view!_

Kerry smiled at him awkwardly. "I really like you. We're good together."

'_Here we go, old man. Treat her with respect. She deserves a lot more.' _

"Yes. We are. But?" He stood.

"You have issues. It's okay – we all do. There's just one '_big one'_ in particular that I don't think I can _love _with . . ."

Jack's eyebrows arched at the L word.

_"Live_ with." She flinched. "I need to get out before I get more involved." She gestured toward the door. "We can still work together, can't we? I'd _hate_ to have to ask for reassignment. This is really important to me. We agreed this would never affect the job."

"We did." Jack smiled. This was far easier than he'd imagined.

"Good." She walked toward the closed door and then turned, putting her hands on slender hips. "You know, there's just one thing I don't understand." She looked him straight on.

"Just one?" he teased gently.

"Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you two apart? Rules and regulations?" She paused and they shared a look. "Coz if it is, you're making a very big mistake."

A heartbeat.

"And you know what I should do?" He'd take all the advice he could get.

"Retire." She smiled.

"Again." Even though retirement was on his Crap List.

"Don't get me wrong." She stepped forward. "You are considered invaluable to the program by the Pentagon, but the President has appointed a civilian to run the SGC before."

Jack nodded. Yep, he'd considered that too.

"Just a thought." Smiling, Kerry Johnson left Jack with his dignity.

He screwed his eyes shut and blew out a breath, then slumped into his chair and scrubbed his weary face. What a fricking screwed up day!

Between Jacob reaming him out, Teal'c's stroll-down memory lane and then Carter's surprise visit this afternoon, he could no longer deny what he'd been trying to avoid, talking to Carter . . .er um, Sam. "I love her. Dear Lord, how I love her!"

He glanced heavenward and recalled their wedding vows four years ago. _What God had brought together let no man put asunder._ "So I'm a slow learner, Lord."

"General?"

"Walter?" Jack looked up to see the Staff Sergeant's solemn expression and hoped he'd not heard his declaration of love for Sam.

"It's General Carter, he's requesting to speak with you."

"On my way!"

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

After sitting at her dad's bedside until he'd fallen asleep Sam had finally stopped shaking. Now she leaned over the bathroom sink in her SGC quarters and splashed cold water over her flushed face and puffy red eyes. In the background Cassandra's favorite chick group the, "Barlow Girls" CD played. But the manta of Dad's words kept pounding in her head like a brass band drowning it all out.

"Don't let rules and regulations stand in your way, Sam. You can still have everything you want. Don't let rules and . . . "

Well, everything she'd wanted, one General Jack O'Neill, had worn a path in the concrete floor outside Dad's private Infirmary room, but she'd been too embarrassed by their afternoon fiasco to face him. And she figured most of his pacing had to do with Dad's critical condition, not her. After all, Jack had a girlfriend and it wasn't Sam.

"So now what, Colonel Carter?" Sam wiped off the remainder of smeared makeup and mascara wondering if it was worth reapplying. Not that it was the question she needed to answer. Still, she skidded around the other issue. Since dating Pete she'd gotten used to wearing more makeup. Why? Because unlike Jack, Pete liked her dolled up with heavy mascara and eyeliner. Naturally Jack liked her natural, as he'd put it. "You're already beautiful, Carter," he'd once said. "A little lipstick and blusher's fine, but you don't need to doll up for me."

Brushing fine bangs from her forehead, she stared at the middle-aged woman in the mirror and almost didn't recognize her. A painful sob clamped around Sam's chest.

"Closing on forty, Carter, and what do you have? You're finally getting to know your father, the man who you lived to please and emulate your entire life, and now he's dying—for real this time. And the one man you cannot live without has a girlfriend. So do you fight for him or let him fly?"

Suddenly, all her over-thinking and theorizing how she would put her family back together seemed at best, a crap shot. Had it been worth it? She'd walked away from the one safe bet in her life? Oh, she'd grownup this last year and was emotionally stronger. At least, she hoped so. Right or wrong, splitting with Jack had forced her to take risks she might never have done otherwise. She'd rounded out as an individual and as a woman. One thing she knew, she was about to discover what life was like without a man in her life twenty-four seven.

Yeah, she would break up with Pete today. The sweet guy deserved someone who was passionately in love with him, not in love with the world's definition of being in love. How could she define true love? She wanted to believe that what she'd felt all these years for Jack was the magic emotion. More than a magic emotion, she felt a sense of commitment woven throughout their relationship.

As for Jack, well, despite what Dad, Teal'c and even Daniel might believe, she obviously wasn't part of his future. She saw no way to pickup their shattered pieces and put them back together, especially as she had broken them.

She did know that no matter how painful it would be to not have him in her life, even as her CO, she would survive. She just didn't want to do it on her own. She also didn't want to depend on another man. Whom but herself could she depend on? Why didn't that seem enough? Let's face it, so far, genius astrophysicist Samantha Carter's personal life-decisions sucked.

"So who defines Samantha Carter? Who am I? Whom do I belong to?"

"And why had I thought to find happiness outside the mountain with anyone other than my godsend? Who am I to let society set my values and priorities and decide who or what should make me happy? Maybe Cassandra's all I need. But like Jack, Cassandra believes I need God twenty-four seven.

"So where in this vast universe are You, God? I mean Jack's always talking up Your sovereignty. Okay, I'm not Jack. I don't have his faith. I need a sign, that You're listening and that no one else's opinion matters but Yours. Help me stop looking to others for approval and unconditional love?"

After blowing her nose, Sam gazed into the bathroom mirror and then as if carried on the wings of angels, a simply song told her what she longed to hear and needed to believe.

'_Mirror, Mirror on the wall; Have I got it? 'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am, I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect So sorry, you won't define me Sorry, you don't own me'  
_

'_Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be? Who are you? Who are you? I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do I won't try; I won't try, You don't define me, You don't define me'  
_

'_Mirror I am seeing a new reflection I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me To Him I have beauty beyond compare I know He defines me'  
_

'_Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be? Who are you? Who are you? I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do I won't try; I won't try You don't define me, You don't define me'_

'_Mirror I am seeing a new reflection I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me To Him I have beauty beyond compare I know He defines me'_

Tears of joy warmed her cheeks and Sam embraced what she'd so long tried to live without and, most of all, deny. God loved her unconditionally and no matter what the future might bring, He defined her and He alone was all she needed. Like Jack had so often said, "At best life's a crapshoot, but with God it's a cakewalk, Carter."

'_**You've heard my sorry excuses**_

_**Seen my careless heart **_

_**Yet here you stand – undaunted **_

_**With opened arms**_

_**Loving me, for who I am – Always'**_

His hands jammed into his BDU pockets Jack stepped into the doorway of Sam's lab watching her switch off the equipment that normally hummed in the background of her domain. She'd respectfully left the infirmary when the Tok'ra arrived to pay their last greetings to Jacob. Jack wasn't certain how to broach their uncomfortable dilemma but after promising Jacob, he knew it must be now. Besides she'd tried to tell him something very personal a few hours back. He just hoped she hadn't had second thoughts.

'Sink or swim, O'Neill. Just hope, Sam's your life preserver!' 

Boy, he'd rather be tortured on Baal's spider web than face rejection from Samantha Carter. This wasn't the first time he'd been in this situation. He clearly recalled the night after he'd gone Ancient and went to her house. Jack's heart now ached fiercely with that memory. They'd spent the night together in each other's arms, making plans for their future. What he wouldn't give to be there then starting over with his wife. The only solace he had was her arrival at his house today followed by Jacob and Teal'c's reassurances that Sam was still in love with him.

Jack had been looking for Sam since he'd left Jacob an hour ago. He was about to have Walter put out an APB when he made one last sweep past her lab. Even with Anubis knocking at their front door she was putting things away, shutting down the lab. He swallowed the bitter bile. Sam was preparing to be gone awhile—for Jacob's funeral and then to spend time with Mark and his family. Emotional pain welled up like a fist in his throat. He cursed at the unfairness of knowing Jacob's inevitable death had to be killing the woman he loved. Recalling Charlie's death, Jack vowed to do whatever was necessary to ease her suffering.

As always between them, Sam sensed his presence. Without turning she asked with a tremor, "Is—there something you wanted, General?"

"Oh, um, yeah." He sliced his security card and then aimed his remote at the camera, shutting it down the same time the door sealed behind him.

"Sir?" Sam glanced at the closed steel door and the dead camera before she frowned.

"Perks." He grinned and waved the remote before dropping it into his pocket, then slipping off his button-down BDU shirt. He was so nervous he was sweating like a pig.

She nodded wearily as he jammed the long sleeves of his black t-shirt up his forearms. "Um, I booked Mark and his family on the next flight and set them up at the Hilton. The SGC will pick up their tab and . . .all funeral expenses." He felt her expectant gaze. "Oh, and soon as I realized Dad wasn't, well, ya know . . . I requested the Tok'ra gate Charlie, sorry, I mean Chuck here."

Thank you, sir."

"Think nothing of it, Samantha." That got her attention.

"It's such a lousy way for us to see him after all this time, though."

"Yeah, it sucks about Chuck. But he's a strong kid. He'll be okay. Besides, Jacob said he already knew."

She merely nodded while her wary gaze returned to the secured door. She worried her lower lip and he noted the color staining her cheeks. Meanwhile, he was sweating in places he didn't think possible.

"So." She hedged a smile as she snapped her laptop shut.

"So." He coughed nervously and rocked on the heels of his boots. "Umm . . .yes, well, think we should talk, huh?" He smiled as she toyed with her engagement ring, and then stuck her hands behind her back. She never wore it on base, but then, under the circumstances, she'd probably forgotten to take it off, right? Jack further agonized. No matter how much Dad or Teal'c had assured him, did he have a right to say what he wanted? What if she'd changed her mind? What if? Doubts plagued him like a thousand attacking replicators. But the moment he held her liquid azure gaze, he knew that after tap dancing around the situation for so long, he had to take the risk and tell her . . . he still loved her.

Openly anxious, Sam bounced her clenched fists against her slender thighs and walked to within a few feet of him. "Sir, about my showing up unannounced at your house. It won't happen again."

'_Darn right it won't.' _He smiled, trying to reassure her.

"Um . . . I'm sorry, really." She kept her gaze riveted on his jaw or neck he wasn't sure which, but it was darn disconcerting.

"Sorry?" That, he so didn't get. "Samantha," he drawled, "this is me you're talking to." He took another step—close enough to inhale the lingering fragrance of strawberry shampoo and vanilla body lotion and the distinct heady scent that was Sam's alone. His Sam, if he had any say in the matter. It was then he realized her face had been scrubbed clean and she only wore lip-gloss and blusher while her blue eyes, even though puffy from crying, sparkled all on their own.

"Sir, I'd no right being there or saying—" She clamped down on her lip as if about to cry.

"Yes." He closed their distance and pressed two fingertips to her warm trembling lips. "You had every right. I'm glad you came and said what you said. Ah, dang! I just wished I'd had the backbone to say something the day you hummed in the elevator, or at least, been more articulate today. When I realized what you were trying to tell me, I went brain-dead and my heart thought it would detonate from emotional overload."

"Oh!" She gawked.

"Hope I didn't souse your sweater with beer?"

"No." She blushed profusely.

"I really wished Kerry hadn't been there."

"You do?" Her lake blue eyes welled up with fresh tears.

"Yesiree." He smiled and scooped her quivering chin into his hands and tipped her face toward his. "Let's take it out of the room for good, Samantha."

"You're certain?"

"Positive."

"I've been thinking—"

"Nah ah!" He flagged his hand. "All of your thinking, analyzing and evaluating is half our problem. For once listen with your heart," his voice softened, "and most of all listen to me, please, Sam?"

"K." She nodded as he urged her into his embrace.

"To show how messed up I am over you, I started smoking."

"Sir?" Her blue eyes turned saucer size.

"Oh, just one, last night. Gross! Course, the pack was two years old." He shuddered.

"Yuck!" Sam mimicked his body shake.

"Yeah. That was wrong on so many levels. Not happening again."

"Good." She smiled wistfully up at him.

"And," he blew out a breath, "Kerry and I split." He commanded her gaze and held it, caressed.

"Oh—I'm sorry, I . . ." She searched his tensed features.

"For cryin' out loud! Will you drop the sorry line?"

"Sorry. Sure. Okay." She gulped and closed her eyes, compressing her lips tight.

"Samantha, look at me."

She did. "You've called me Samantha three times."

"Yes, I did. Get used to it." He grinned wider. "Besides Kerry said she couldn't live with my '_issues'_."

"We all have issues, sir." She sounded defensive of him and he liked that. "Yours are just well, more complex, a lot like mine."

"Sure are. But she especially couldn't live with one '_big'_ issue in particular as in, '_you and me'_."

"Holy Hannah!" He felt Sam's astonished gaze as his hands caressed her ribs and then encircled her waist. "She knows?"

"Oh, yeah. I suspect for sometime. Actually, it was a relief. Even if you hadn't shown up today, I would have broken it off. I was using Kerry to get over you, but it wasn't working. We both knew it. Besides, she doesn't want marriage or kids."

"Marriage? Kids?"

"You do still want those things?" he asked nervously.

"Oh, of course." She smiled then sobered. "Apparently we're both leeches." Sam admitted with a look of regret. "I'll tell Pete soon as dad—" She started to cry and Jack held her.

"Go ahead, Babe, let it out." He smoothed her silky hair while murmuring reassurances.

"You called me, Babe." She snuffed against his shirt.

"You turn anal about that too?" He flinched.

"No! I love it. I wouldn't let Pete call me Babe. In fact, you're the only one who can call me that sexist pet name."

"Wow! I always knew I was pushing the envelope there. So, I've got exclusives, huh?"

"Yeah sure yabetcha."

"Well, gosh, golly and go figure!" A quiet lull of contentment followed as he held her and gave God silent thanks. "Sam?"

"What?" She glanced up at him.

"About Pete. You were about to marry him."

"Yes." She nibbled her lips. "Big huge mistake. And I suppose you're wondering why?"

"Well, yeah, I mean. If you've still got feelings for me?" He audibly gulped. "I'm just confused, but then I get confused easily."

"No, you have every right to be confused." She tossed up her hands. "I wanted what everyone else has. I wanted a life outside this mountain, away from fighting the evil Goa'uld, Replicators, etc., etc., I wanted what I thought was norm and what the world expected of me, even Dad expected. I thought if I met and fell in love with someone _'normal,_' I could be happily normal. I set my standard for happiness on a pedestal I could never obtain. I let others define who I am, instead of God and me." Sam drew a long breath and stared at him closely. "How come your eyes aren't glazed over yet?"

"Wow!" Jack grinned so hard it hurt. He figured he should say something spiritually profound, but decided to leave that for another time. "I understood everything you said. But you do realize there's nothing normal about what we do or who we are?"

"Sure. I suppose I knew it then, but was in denial. I've got Naquadah in my DNA, possibly even some latent Ancient genes and, well you're just full of . . ."

"Dung?" He winked.

"That too." She laughed softly. Man, it was good to hear her laugh and to know he'd instigated it.

"I missed us." She motioned between them.

"Ditto." He drew her back into his arms. Sam rested her head on his shoulder and caressed the base of his neck. Jack reveled in the simplicity of holding her, of her soothing touch.

"I also missed not having someone to talk with outside the mountain who I didn't have to keep secrets from. Someone I could talk to about—"

"Worm holes and naquadah reactors?"

"Yeah, even if they didn't understand one word of it. Just to have someone listen to me and pretend to be interested because they knew it was of interest to me."

Jack decided to play devil's advocate. "There's always, Daniel, Teal'c, Cassandra and other SGC members."

"Yes. But they're not who I go home to at night. They aren't you. Nor is Pete. Not even close. I missed you, Jack."

That almost sent him over the edge. Not yet, Jack, not yet. Trying to steady his shaking hands, he dug into his pocket and handed her a tape, labeled '_For Sam –2001.'_ "I know it's four years too late, but I made this after we'd returned from our Chulak wedding. It's one of several I've made over the years, just well," he flinched, "Never had the guts to give them to you. But this one's probably well—you know I'm not the most articulate—it sounds the best."

"Can I play it?" She swiped her hand across her damp nose.

"Yeah. Guess that's why I brought it." He glanced around, anywhere but at her, wondering if it was smart to revisit their past.

Sam smiled at his bashful demeanor, slipped the tape into her CD/Tape player and hit the play button.

"_Hey there, Dorothy, this is your Scarecrow from the wonderful Land of Oz, then again, I always had a soft spot for Toto."_

Sam blue eyes shined. "That's so you," she teased.

He shrugged with a faint smile.

"_Well, um, okay then. If you're listening to this tape apparently, some egotistical Goa'uld didn't like my award-winning dry witticism and scrambled my brains with a wrist device, torched, zatted me or I just didn't make it home to Kansas. Which means I royally screwed up and, in your own infinite farewell to me that time I turned eighty-years old in five days, 'Goodbyes suck!'"_

"Please no, sir?" Sam's pink mouth turned down and she reached over and switched off the tape. Jack's hand covered hers.

"Look, Sam, even with you, I'm no good at this one-on-one, so please listen?"

She nodded and hit the on button then intertwined her hand in his.

"'_But, what the hay, Carter, I made it out of that one, and a lot of other tight spots, only because you wouldn't give up on me. I've lost track of all the times you saved my butt and my butt thanks you from the bottom of its well . . . Anyways. Like I said, if you're hearing this I'm pushing up daisies—your favorite flowers, by the way—just hope you got whatever manure pile there was left of me deposited on earth or at least in a solo orbit. So I won't digest . . .um, digress. That's the right word right, Babe?'" _

Sam giggled and met Jack's flustered questioning expression. "Yes." She smiled as he drew her closer.

"Cool."

"'_Anyways, I'm just saying . . .crap . . .this is fricking hard.' _He cleared his throat._ 'I wished things had been different for us. Wished you were my wife more than name only. Wished I'd screwed you a million ways from Sunday until you screamed for mercy. Wished I'd been able to give you the six um, okay, three rug rats of two girls and a boy. But four would have been better, I'm just saying . . . _

"'_Geez, Sam, despite that we broke the regs I don't regret marrying you. You'll never know how much I needed to make that commitment to you and for you to willingly do likewise. It gave me something to look forward to for us. I only hope that because you're hearing this, you don't pull into yourself and give up on love and life. You're so young, Sam, I want you to find happiness with a good man, a better man than me. Of course, I'd appreciate if you waited oh, about fifty years, first. Oy, that was a joke, Hon!'"_

Sam hiccupped and pinched Jack's arm.

"Ow! I know, lousy joke."

"Ya think."

'"_Anyways, there's so much I wish we'd had and yet I don't regret what we did have. Does that make sense? I feel like we've been together far longer than these last five years. Eight counting Black Ops. And yeah, it truly was love at first sound bite, Dorothy of Kansas. Wanna arm wrestle? Geez, that had to be the lamest but hottest proposition I ever got in my life. _

"'_Sam, we've tap-danced around saying 'I love you,' for years. Forever Okay and always, right? Whatever. Well let me state here and now. I, Jack O'Neill, am hopelessly, desperately in love with you!'"_

Sam glanced up and Jack smiled affirmation. "Always," he murmured, threading his fingers through her hair.

"'_Yes, well, I know I promised to always be here for you and failed to keep that promise. That's the trouble with never having a plan B. Knew it'd eventually bite me in the assets. So please don't hate me for letting you down. Sam, you are the most precious and important person God ever put into my life. You're a national treasure. And I'm still trying to figure out why He thinks I ever deserved you. Now I can ask Him face to face, yeah.'"_

Sam trembled and Jack held onto her. "You want me to turn it off?"

"No." She pressed in closer. "It's beautiful. You're beautiful."

"Nice." He sighed against her cheek.

"'_Sam, considering our working relationship, I didn't say or show my love for you often as I should have. But ya know how I feel, Babe. And because of the fricking Goa'uld breathing down our necks we did what we had to do for God, country and earth. And neither of us would change that, would we? _

"'_Although, now as I'm recording this um . . .stupid tape, I'm feeling miserable and yet proud to have known and served alongside you, Major Samantha Carter slash O'Neill. Yeah, dang proud! I just wished I could have seen you get promoted to lieutenant colonel and pinned those wings on you myself. Maybe God will give me a room with a view. Anyway, George knows you're to get my wings.'" _

"Oh, Jack!" Sam clung tighter, her fingers digging into his shoulder blades. He didn't mind, nope not at all. "When you pinned me, there were tears in your eyes."

"Yeah, one of the coolest, proudest moments of my life." He kissed her cheek.

"'_So before I go all melancholy, and ya know I hate that gushy, mushy stuff. Or you start wondering if this is some sick trick, let me confess you were the best thing ever to happened to this emotional reticent flyboy and all things considered I wouldn't have missed the brief sweet time we've had together for a hill of beans. Wait! I meant for all the gold in China. Yeah. Sorry. _

"'_Anyways, I really did find my way home, back to the waiting arms of the one who was waiting there for me, you, Dorothy. Mostly, I don't regret what I did for love, my sweet wife, and I hope that you never will either. Forever and for always, Scarecrow.'" _

Then she heard the strum of his guitar as he softly sang a Jonny Mathis love song.

Jack pulled back and gazed into her tear shimmering eyes with his own tear-filled eyes he sang with himself, '"_Kiss today goodbye, The sweetness and the sorrow, Wish me luck, the same to you, But I can't regret what I did for love What I did for love. _

'"_Look, my eyes are dry. The gift was ours to borrow. It's as if we always knew, And I won't forget what I did for love, What I did for love.  
_

"_Gone, Love is never gone. As we travel on, Love's what we'll remember.  
_

'"_Kiss today goodbye, And point me toward tomorrow. We did what we had to do. Won't forget, can't regret What I did for love. What I did for love. What I did for love. _

'"_Kiss today goodbye, The sweetness and the sorrow, Wish me luck, the same to you, But I can't regret what I did for love What I did for love.'" _

"Man, oh man! You did this for me?" Sam held on tighter.

"Yeah." He brushed her tears with his fingertips. "It's always been for you, Sam. Everything."

She nodded against his sleeve. "And there's more?" She pointed to the tape.

"Yes, well, let's save those for future chuckles."

"There was nothing funny about what I just heard. In fact this," She turned and removed the tape, "has got to be the most romantic thing, you've ever done." She put it in its case and hugged it to her chest.

"Go figure."

She shook her head and then opened her desk drawer and rummaged into the back of it. She brought out a crumbled piece of coffee stained newspaper and offered it to him. "I don't know if you remember? But I've kept one of the other romantic things you've done."

"Ouch!" His face scrunched. "The head banging crossword puzzle."

"You remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Daniel had said you'd kept it, but after Fifth messed with us . . ."

She sniffed as he stared at its tattered condition with a baffled expression. "When you were frozen, I slept with it under my pillow."

"Geez, Sam." He flushed. "We've wasted so much freaking time. And now Dad's—" Emotion strangled his words and he closed his eyes.

"Yeah. I broke his heart leaving you. Dad made no bones about it either. Yet he'd said Selmak really liked Pete. I should have known then he was lying. Selmak loved you, Jack."

"Yeah, that old Tok'ra was okay for a snakehead."

She gazed up into his face. "Um, I realize one of the other reasons I've fought us."

"Really?"

"It's said a woman falls in love with a man who is either like her father or just the opposite. You are so much like Dad it's scary. And that scared me."

"You gotta be kidding! Jacob and I aren't anything a like!" He insisted.

"Oh, give me a break." She snorted. "You're both stubborn, egotistical, believe you're right even if you're wrong, highly competitive, and always have to get in the last word."

"Well, if you put it that way, yeah I guess we are." He shrugged. "And that scared you, how?"

"Just not sure I wanted to be married to my Dad. Kinda warped when you think about it." She gave a complete body shake.

"Yes, well, I am so not Dad. For one I don't have a talking snake in my head. Got all my hair," he tugged his gray locks. "I'm taller, more tactless, and play with toys." He winked suggestively at her. "Especially with you."

Sam giggled. "Yes you are." She sighed out. "So I've finally accepted that one of the reasons I'm attracted to you, is because you share some of Dad's traits, good and the bad. Besides, he's always known about us, sir, and approves. Oh, he didn't come right out and say so. Said that I shouldn't let the rules stand in my way of having everything I want. He meant you. I tried to convince him I was happy. But he saw through me. He's right, sir, and I must tell him before he dies."

"He knows, Sam."

"Huh?"

"Dad told me the same thing."

"He did?"

He waited for the Carter C4 to explode. She didn't. Instead, she rubbed her leaky eyes and nose against his shirt, soaking through to his t-shirt. It felt good and right. He loved her so freaking much, it hurt.

"Let's just say Dad was more into my face. Called me a dumb jackass for letting you date let alone get engaged to someone-else. Vowed to haunt me if I didn't tell you that I . . ." Jack's voice cracked and he looked at his hands.

"What?" She pulled back and gazed into his eyes.

"That we're forever okay. That I am in love with you, Samantha, always."

Sam's lips parted but he planted his fingertips firmly against them. "There's something else you need to know. Actually I've known for two years and intended to tell you awhile back, but I didn't realize how messed up we'd gotten, and that it wasn't all our faults. Samantha, a long time ago, when I was still married and you were a cadet . . . "

She wiggled free and took a step back. "We were abducted and drugged by Nirrti and forced to have sex. Cassandra's our daughter."

Jack's mouth opened and then slowly shut. "Yeah." He searched her face for signs of anger.

"I know. Teal'c told me everything last night." She gave a feeble smile.

"T didn't tell me he'd told you."

"He'd said he intended to tell you today, but with everything happening on Dakara, . . ." She left out a long breath.

"I'm sorry about Cassandra. I should never have kept that from you. But there never seemed to be a right time. You started dating Pete and then Janet died and," he trailed a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Sam, I had no right."

"No, you didn't." her voice tightened. "But you'd meant to protect me from our time with Nirrti. I guess I've always known. It explains the nightmares and hearing Cassandra's wailing when Nirrti took her from me. All those years dreaming of a lost child."

"Dear God, Sam, I tried to stop her!" Jack felt the tears well behind his eyelids.

"I know." She ran trembling fingers down his arm, her touch burning him to the soul. "It all makes sense now. From the moment we found Cassandra on Hanka I felt a maternal connection."

"Yeah." Jack struggled to keep his emotions inline. "Same here. All the while I was photographing that black hole and eclipse I couldn't get my mind off of her. Then when you took her down in the elevator I wanted to be with you both so badly, it hurt. I knew you wouldn't leave her to die alone. And yet you knew she wasn't going to detonate." He continued to brush her hair with his fingertips.

"Well, not immediately." She corrected and settled her head against his heart pounding chest. "But now we know why. The three of us are family. Um, did I ever tell you that when you were still on Hanka with Teal'c, and Daniel came to relieve me from sitting with her, she insisted you come and stay with her?"

"No." He glanced down at her with wondering eyes.

"When I asked Cassandra why, she said because her mom from Hanka had said, the Jaffa who brought her as an infant told her mom, that a man named O'Neill was her real father."

Jack gaped. "Sam, Cassandra never told me."

"I know. See she and I have secrets too." Sam smiled. "I just hadn't realized that I was her birth mother."

"Wow!" Jack shook his head. "Anything else you wanna share?"

"Not now. Besides we should do this with Cassandra."

Jack agreed, but his conscious wouldn't let it go—yet. He was on an honesty roll and should confess everything, right? He bit into his cheek, drawing blood. "Sam, about Cassandra."

"She knows everything," Sam said with finality and smiled up at him.

"Yes. But I didn't tell her." He held up a hand in defense. "At least, not like you think. We sort of share an ability to—"

"Communicate telepathically?"

"Huh?"

She reached up and gently shut his unfastened jaw. "I know. I've sensed the bonding between you two for years, especially on her sixteenth birthday when she began transforming and Nirrti healed her, you and Cass became closer than ever. I even got jealous."

"Sorry." He brushed the blond bangs from her face. "Yeah, that's when I realized that although Nirrti had stopped Cassandra from dying and transforming into an Ancient, Cass hadn't lost the abilities we'd seen her display. She can still move chess horses, actually lot bigger things," Jack stretched his arms, "just by concentrating. And," he coughed, "you're right, that's when we discovered we could be talking heads."

"And neither of you told Janet?"

"No. We agreed to keep it our secret. It would only have hurt Janet. And I didn't want Cassandra becoming a guinea pig for the NID, Sam, nor myself, for that matter. The point is Nirrti knew when she left that day that Cassandra had maintained those Ancient abilities. I feared she intended to abduct her again. Even weirder, she told me that Cassandra's parents were from Earth. It was her way of letting us know. I just didn't want to accept the obvious. I was afraid to. Sam, I think you and I have the same abilities."

"Wait. You're the one who can heal the dying and read minds."

"Um, so can you with the healing device. And, it's not mind reading. It's like sharing a brain, talking without words. Just projecting what I'd otherwise tell you verbally."

"So, you're saying you can't know my thoughts?"

"Well," he blushed. "According to Daniel, yeah, but there has to be a concession on both parties. Branded couples are also branded to their children. It's complicated. And it's just far more intimate with the mates, and the kids can't tap into a parent's head, unless given permission or the kid's just really . . ."

"Gifted and spoiled rotten."

"Yeah." Jack snickered. "Cass tends to enter before knocking, but she's getting more respectful and fearful now that she's older."

"Wow!" Sam shook her head. "This is just darn right warped."

"Tell me about it. I'm still not sure how it works or what will trigger it for you and me. Actually, I think we've done it several times, but just weren't consciously aware of it."

Sam nodded. "It explains why we couldn't let each other go and get—."

'_A life with someone else?' _He waggled his brows.

'_Yeah.' _"Holy Hannah!" She pointed between them. "Like that?"

"Yep, like that." He grinned at down her and kissed her cheek, then turned more serious. "And well there's one more thing you need to know. Cass is at my place and she—"

"Jack?" Sam leaned heavily against him and he sat on one of her stools and drew her onto his lap. "I know she spent time with Dad. He told me before the Tok'ra came."

"Geez," Jack groaned out. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm happy they got to be together and it explains his visiting her on campus two weeks ago. Can we talk about this stuff later?" She rested her head on his shoulder and wearily sighed.

"Hey, you're right. We've got all the time in world to talk about that perverted alien talking heads relationship stuff."

"Actually," she shook her head. "What I wanted to say was—,"

"When you came over this afternoon." He smiled into her hair.

"Jack!" He heard the smirk in her voice.

"See, we can talk and read each other's minds."

"That mind reading theory's needs further analysis. Anyway, I was going to share what Teal'c and Daniel knew about that night at O'Malley's and that I love you."

"You," he emphasized, "love me?" He dipped his head and smirked like a kid in a candy store.

"Yes." She held his gaze. "Only God and I know why, but I love you, Jack O'Neill with two LLs."

"I've loved you ever since Nirrti brought us together. And now I remember it was long before we made love."

"Really?" Her eyes glistened with curiosity.

"Yeah. I was about nineteen and you were about five. The point is, I think she'd abducted us even before then, but I first recall holding you and that Nirrti wanted to test our blood. Something about us being compatible for mating."

"She didn't, I mean we didn't . . ." Sam looked pleadingly into his eyes.

"Heck, no! I'm sure it wasn't until you were a cadet, coz I remember," he felt heat stain his face.

"Taking my virginity." She touched his face.

"Yeah." He caressed her cheek and she leaned into him. Her warm breath fanning his fingers and sending a deep shivering heat into his veins and lower.

"You do realize what this means, Jack?"

"Nope." He cocked his head with his oh duh look.

"All these years you were my dream lover. It explains so much. Why, I wasn't a virgin when I was with Jonas. Because you were my first lover and I've loved you since then too, silly."

"You're kidding?"

"Ya think?" She laughed softly and he thought he'd detonate from happiness.

"Well there you go. After over twenty years, two true confessions."

"We've been such idiots." She shook her head in regret.

"Yes, well, let's not dwell." He reached for the tissue box and handed her some. "I've never stopped loving you, Sam, which makes being the '_Man'_ more difficult than ever."

"I know." She blew so hard she sounded like a foghorn. "Um, sorry." She flinched.

"Does that mean you're still a screamer?" He chuckled and waggled his brows, and then taking her soiled tissues tossed them in the wastebasket.

"Guess you'll have to find out." She winked.

"Sweet!" He flirted until his eyes settled on her engagement ring and his mouth turned down.

Sam followed his troubled gaze and then she stuck out her hand. "Remove it."

Nodding, Jack eased the ring off her finger and watched as she opened her desk drawer and extracted the black ring case, opened it, and presented it to him. Jack slipped the engagement ring into the case and slammed the lid shut. The loud noise was day ja view—months ago when he'd closed the box in this room but under more stressful conditions. Sam took the case and removing her purse from a drawer, dropped the box inside it and shut the drawer.

Silence followed as both struggled to speak.

"Um, well, since this is my fault, I'll tell Pete," he stated with finality.

"No. I started the affair. I'll end it. I owe him that much."

"Affairs." Jack mouthed. "We're both guilty, Sam."

"I know." She sighed. "I'm sorry it took such extremes for us to realize we are each other's godsend."

"The point is that we're repentant before God and each other, Sam."

She nodded. "I've been praying. _The Keeper of the Stars_ is one forgiving and patient Lord."

"He sure is." Jack sent a prayer of thanks heavenward then realized he'd not been completely truthful with her. Then again, since she'd made love with Pete, did he have a right to worsen her pain by confessing he'd never made a home run with Kerry. He wouldn't be that cruel.

Sam fidgeted. "I know I've no right sharing this or thinking it can make things right between us, Jack, but—"

"What?" He cupped her face with his hands and smiled down at her.

"I, we, that is I remember everything now and was only intimate with Pete when we were first dating. And to be truthful, I didn't—"

His mouth slack he stared at her.

"Didn't . . .couldn't climax," she blew out. "I faked it."

Jack's jaw dropped open further. "Ya mean since I went Ancient, you two haven't gotten it on?"

"No." She gave a small smile. "I had no desire to be with him that way. I figured that would change after we got married. But the closer the date came, the more I realized I only got sexually aroused with you and not just when I ovulate. Must be the branding thing, huh?"

"For crying out loud, Carter!" He pulled back and dragged a hand through his hair. "We are one seriously messed up couple!"

"Meaning?" She stared alarmingly at him.

"That if we're coming clean here." He blushed and avoided her eyes. "I couldn't get it up with Kerry for the life of me."

"Holy Hannah!" She grinned.

"Yeah." He found himself beaming. "Its amazing Kerry stayed as long as she did."

"Because, she knew a safe bet when she saw one. I was green with envy. She's a beautiful woman."

"Gosh, Sam. There's no one more beautiful than you. Besides, who am I kidding, I went after someone who is physically similar to you, except her eyes and hair."

"I noticed." She pinched him.

"Hey, when you've had the best it's hard to settle for less."

"You can say that again."

"When you've—"

"Ow!" When Sam gestured to pinch him, Jack yanked her into his arms then turned serious. "I assume Pete doesn't remember everything about . . ." He motioned between them.

"No. Just what Joe fed him. Like us, he'd been foggy after Fifth and Replicator Sam messed with our heads. But, since it only took Teal'c telling us to bring it all back, I assume that's all it will take with Pete, and once I tell him what Fifth did he'll take our breakup better."

"Doubt that." Jack mumbled.

"He's suspected since the day of Daniel's stakeout. That much he remembers."

"That long? How? I mean . . . I never said two words to the guy." Although he definitely remembered their O'Malley head banging.

"He'd said it was the way you looked at me and glared at him. You reminded him of a dominant male lion that just discovered another male had invaded his pride. I sensed he was intimidated, but told him you were just protective of me as a team member. He never bought it, or liked me talking about you, which I did a lot." She blushed.

"Didn't know I was that obvious or a topic of discussion."

"You were."

"But . . ." Jack scrunched his features in confusion.

"I believed that if you had still loved me you'd have take action." She glanced down and frowned. "You didn't."

"Ah, crap! I'm sorry, Sam. I did when I went Ancient, but I now remember Daniel saying he couldn't tell me everything, feared I'd overload.

"And I feared the same."

"But I did do something at O'Malley's. We just didn't remember. I figured the guy made you happy. And all, I've ever wanted was for you to be happy, Sam. Always. If it helps, I got wasted nearly every weekend for a while, there. The only music I listened to was Roy Orbison, I really connected withthe songs_, 'Crying _and _Only the Lonely.' "_

"Roy Orbison?" Sam shut her eyes and expelled a breath.

"Ya do know who he is?" His brows collided.

"You dare ask this Rock and Roll oldies addict! Roy's like the king of lost love and heartache."

"Yeah. Roy and me got pretty chummy. Just ask Daniel."

Sam gave him a hopeless look.

"I mean, well, when he comes back from cloud surfing, but hey, Teal'c knows."

"I know." She worried the collar of his shirt, her fingers skimming across his neck.

"You do."

"Teal'c kept telling me in his subtle ways that you still cared more than you are suppose to. He even told me how you reacted when I was lost on the Prometheus."

"Big mouth Jaffa! Geez, if I'd have told you then, you wouldn't have—"

"But you did. I just wasn't listening."

"Huh?" He gave his deer caught in the headlights look.

"Shush, it's over, sir."

"Ah, not exactly. There's someone else we need to discuss or I'm going to be forced into visiting Mackenzie's couch again."

She glanced up warily.

"Grace."

"Holy Hannah!" Sam did her Turtledove chin tuck.

"You saw her too?"

"Saw her, heard her, talked to her."

"Thank you! Thank you!" Jack shook his clasped hands heavenward then embraced Sam and patted her back in gratitude.

"Hey, ease up!" She flinched.

"Um, sorry. Just Grace may be cute as the dickens, but the girl's a royal pain in the butt!"

"Just like her dad." Sam patronized.

"Hey, now just one moment, there's just as much of you in Gracie O'Neill as there is of me!"

"Gracie?" Sam's eyes rounded up.

"Um, well, yeah." He dropped his hands and scuffed one boot over the other. "Just kind of came about from talking to her."

Sam laughed. "And I thought I was going nuts on that ship! I mean she kept popping up, singing one moment and then lipping-off like you the next. Gosh," Sam grew somber. "She was trying to tell me," she broke into a sob. "Daniel, Teal'c, Dad—I misunderstood all them, especially you, Jack."

"You saying I showed up in your comatose induced wacko hallucination?"

"Yeah." She glanced away and swiped at a maverick tear. "I thought you were giving me my walking papers, but instead you were telling me that you're my one safe bet."

"I am, Sam, always have been. What else did I say?" He winked suggestively. "Or do?"

"Well you told me to go save my ass and then well, in my head, I kissed you stupid and you kissed me back, dueling tongues and all."

"Wow! How come I'm never around when you're having those hot dreams?"

"For the same reason I don't remember being kissed in the time loop." She winked.

"Good point." He winced.

Sam sniffed and leaned her head against his chest. "Can we leave the hallucination discussion for another time? Coz, I'm really tired."

"Sure." He weaved his fingers through her hair gently massaging her scalp. "But that reminds me." He stepped back. "One more confession and I swear I'm done!"

"Jack?" She tipped her head sideways and gave her helpless look. "I really don't think I can handle much more . . ."

"Hey, you called me, Jack." He grinned to distract her as he worked up the nerve to confess. "Besides I'm hoping you take this as good news."

She pulled back, crossed her arms and glared.

"Okay, um, ya know the Chulak annulment waver we signed?"

"Yes. Wished I hadn't."

"You do?"

"And you?"

"One of the dumbest things I ever did." He couldn't stop smiling.

"So why are you smirking like the cat that ate the canary?"

"Coz." He lifted her face and gazed into her cautious expression. "Teal'c lost it."

"He what!"

"Yep, said it was an accident. He'd been carrying it with him for months. He had no way of returning it to the Jaffa Nuptials Council, since most of them were missing, dead and—"

"Then we're still legally married?"

"Yes, ma'am." His heart stopped when she shut her eyes and drew her upper lip between her teeth and then started to cry—again.

"Sam?" He tentatively drew her into his arms. "Those better be tears of joy, coz if not, I'm dying here."

Sam sniffed against his neck. "No, I'm hap—py, really."

"So?"

"So we start over." She rubbed the back of his right hand with her thumb and leaned into him.

"Yeah sure yabetcha and this time there won't be any sirs or Carters between us." He nuzzled her neck, kissing her the only way he could for now. Sam sighed and trembled at his intimate touch.

"How?" she asked, as she finger-combed his short hair and pressed in closer.

"Called in some markers."

He felt her smile against his shoulder when he grinned into her hair. Jack knew that for once, Samantha Carter wouldn't dispute whatever he decided to do for them to be together.

"Um, sir?"

"And no, that's not my sidearm?" He chuckled, making closer contact.

"Hope not." She laughed softly. "So, I got this awesome emerald green rod and reel for my non-birthday."

"Ah." He shrugged.

"Aren't you going to ask me something?" She nudged him.

"Gosh, Carter. I'm clueless." He took a step back and stretched out his arms. "Could it have something to do with the land of sky-blue waters, loofas, yeah sure yabetcha, snookums, mosquitoes, etc, etc?"

Nodding, Sam grinned wide.

"Yeah, I'd ask ya to go fishing, but you keep turning me down and— " Feigning confusion Jack scratched his head.

"You won the bet."

"I did?" He taunted waggling his brows. "What?"

"The crossword puzzle, silly."

"Ah, yes, the inevitable must go fishing clause. So?"

"I wanna go fishing."

"Well, it's about fricking time!"

"Jack!" She yanked him against her.

"Cool." Content to be in each other's embrace, they held on until Jack turned gently her in his arms and started rubbing between her tensed shoulders.

"Umm." Sam melted against him. "I really missed this, ya know."

"What, my virile animal magnetism, not to mention my sharp calculating wit?" He nibbled her collarbone as he worked the tight cords of her neck.

"Um, those too. But I really missed your backrubs." She leaned into his magic fingers.

"Yeah, figures, you're just using me."

"Yep." She smiled through her words.

"Hey, I know this sounds weird but with all this pent up sexual tension between us, how come we aren't naked on your lab table having wild monkey sex?"

She stiffened beneath his touch. "Excellent matter of debate. And, no doubt, Daniel would know. Maybe because we've not re-branded or our emotional condition has superseded the complexity of our inborn chemical composition and we—"

"Carter! Stop thinking so much!" He turned her in his arms and eased his forehead against hers. "Just say it again, wilya?"

"Our emotional conditioning . . . "

"Nah ah!" he groaned. "I meant, _'I love you, Jack O'Neill with two LL's_.'"

"Oh that. I love you, Jack O'Neill." She smiled against his rough cheek and then reality intruded with the shrill from the lab's phone. Sam reluctantly eased from his embrace, cleared her throat then answered the phone. "Carter."

Worried and tapping his fingers against the counter Jack watched her tear-stained features further pale.

"Okay. I'm coming!" She hung up and gestured to the door. "Um, dad's worse. I need to get to the Infirmary."

He nodded, grabbed his BDU shirt, opened the door and switched off the lights. As Sam walked past to enter the corridor, he gently caught her wrist. She turned into him with a quivering smile.

"Hey, it'll be okay." He caressed her face with the back of his hand, wanting to kiss her, knowing it'd be awhile before that could happen.

"I know, Jack," she said for his ears alone.

"Sam?" He gazed passionately into her liquid eyes. "I will always be here for you, no matter what. Believe me."

"I do." She smiled as he eased his arm around her shoulders and escorted her to the Infirmary to say goodbye to his friend Jacob Carter but most of all, their Dad.

_CHAPTER FIFTEEN_

'_Pity the man who departs this world gnashing and grinding his teeth. _

_Bless the man who departs with quiet dignity knowing he has loved.' _

SGC Infirmary:

With great effort Jacob turned his head and watched Jack settle beside Sam in the Observation Booth overlooking the Isolation Room in which he lay waiting to die. Jacob had been preparing for this moment for months. He'd spent a lot of time in prayer. Just like when he'd had cancer, Jacob Carter was at peace with God. After all, he'd seen and experienced an amazing ever changing and ever widening universe that, until he'd blended with Selmak, he never knew existed. He knew now beyond a doubt there was one Creator and Lord and he, Jacob Carter with or without Selmak was about to meet Him face to face.

His thoughts on heavenly matters brought Jacob full circle to the greatest miracle in his life, Sam, Mark, Connie, his grandchildren along with Cassandra and Chuck, and that miracle had long included Jack O'Neill.

Despite Jack being the _Man,_ the diplomatic breakdown between the Tok'ra, Jaffa and the Tau'ri demanded that security cameras and audio remain on at all times, not to mention the SF decorating Jacob's infirmary room. Thanks to Siler, there was no audio or video cameras to witness Jack's confession to Jacob that he loved Sam more than life. He'd also vowed to take care of her for Jacob, always. Jacob demanded that Jack prove that he'd talked to Sam and she'd finally have the happiness she deserved. Jack promised Jacob that he would see and hear the evidence with his own eyes and ears.

Jacob suspected Jack and Sam had talked, because her blue eyes were red rimmed from fresh tears. She'd no sooner sat down at the window overlooking the infirmary before Jack joined her. Sam leaned forward, hands clasped on the ledge looking at Jacob while she spoke to Jack. He sat beside her, his larger hands folded next to hers. Jacob recognized the subtleties that passed between the general and his lieutenant colonel, particularly Sam's trembling mouth, her shoulder brushing Jack's, as he unconsciously pressed closer to her. Jacob Carter witnessed the deep love and concern in Jack's tender gaze as he listened to her. He sensed their comfort level had returned to what he'd last remembered.

Yes, something significant had happened between his Sammy and Jack since he'd last spoken to them. He wondered if Jack had told her, they were still married. A small smile touched Jacob's cracked lips as he remembered his private conversation with Teal'c. Lost paperwork indeed, he mused. Jacob heard a click and realized the audio from the Observation Booth had switched on.

Jack looked at Jacob and said to Sam, "C'mere," and then draped his arm over her shoulder and drew her into him.

While his Tok'ra companions continued to talk, Jacob nodded, but his blurring gaze remained on his daughter and son-in-law. Sam intertwined her fingers in Jack's and rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand. Their behavior was effortless, natural, like a married couple. He'd have given anything to see them kiss, but realized this was the most affection Jack could display under the circumstances. Jacob's heart leapt at the best present Jack could ever have given him. '_Thanks, Jack.'_

"Thank you, sir."

Jack gazed at Jacob's daughter like a man hopelessly in love. "For what?" he asked quietly.

"For being here for me."

"Always," he said with even gentler devotion.

Sam turned and looked into her lover's eyes and as they tenderly held each other's gaze, Jacob heard and saw what he needed. When she rested her chin on Jack's hand Jacob inwardly said as if Selmak could still hear him. '_You were right all along, old friend. They are chosen hearts. They belong together,' _then to his fellow Tok'ra, "I'm ready."

A few moments later, Sam left Jack's side to return to her father's bedside. She sobbed, leaned over and kissed her father goodbye.

Jacob whispered, "I—love—you," and closing his eyes knew that Sam and Jack would love each other, _always_.

From the Observation Booth, Jack watched the woman he loved say farewell to her father and his friend, Jacob. Jack felt grief wash over him and then surprisingly, an overwhelming joy. With a heartfelt sigh, he shut his eyes and asked God to welcome Jacob Carter home.

Sam sat beside Pete on the front yard bench as he pocketed the ring she'd just returned. She'd told him everything, well almost. She felt a strong need to protect Jack, so she had not gone into details about the O'Malley's incident, hoping that in time, he'd remember those events himself. Pete showed little emotion, almost as if he'd expected this last minute breakup. She felt enormous relief. She wanted nothing more than for Pete to leave gracefully. Or she would. She glanced down the road wondering if she should walk to Jack's truck or wait. She had her cellular and said she'd call after Pete left.

"So he brought you." Pete stared at her. Eyes tearing he touched her empty ring finger as if in disbelief.

"What?" She hadn't expected that and looked down to where he gently caressed her with his index finger.

He waved his free hand toward the empty driveway and street. "Don't see your car or an Airman waiting to drive you back to base."

"I . . .I was dropped off by a friend."

"Friend?" Pete snorted. "Sure, whatever."

Did she have to explain that with her dad's body not even cold, she was in no condition to drive? Sam now saw Pete in a different light. He wasn't the all-caring lover he'd pretended. Then again, she'd just dropped him for another man. What had she expected?

Or maybe Daniel was right and Pete was a selfish manipulative person. And what was it Teal'c had said after her botched engagement party this spring? _"I trust O'Neill's judgment implicitly, Colonel Carter, there is something shifty about Pete Shanahan." _Shifty, is that what she sensed now? As if oblivious to her loss, he kept talking.

"It's been O'Neill all along, hasn't it, all those years before we met? Which makes me a short-term diversion from what you couldn't have. Your beloved colonel and now a brigadier general in your bed." His voice dripped with biting sarcasm.

"Please, Pete . . ." Sam gave a desperate look. She didn't want to discuss Jack, but it was obvious Pete wouldn't let this go. "I never intended to hurt you. I really wanted to move on with you, to love you."

"And he did everything in his power to keep you from being with me."

Startled, Sam looked up seeing the revulsion in Pete's face toward Jack. It was so malicious she feared for Jack and his accusation so far from the truth. "Pete, this isn't the general's fault. He has no more control over his feelings than I do. We're branded and . . ." She whirled her hand in frustration the let it fall limp in her lap. "I don't expect you to understand. I'm still trying to myself. But he and I have an extraordinary bond that goes beyond what most human couples will ever have. I told you before that night after O'Malley's we'd just reconciled and then Fifth messed with our—"

"Heads? Yeah, I get the picture. Not to mention O'Neill burned my ear plenty that night. But hey, if all else fails, blame the aliens!"

Up until this moment and wanting a peaceful parting of their ways, Sam had fought the temptation to reveal she knew about the O'Malley's incident between Jack and Pete. And that after Jack had branded her, she'd left Pete a phone message calling it off, telling him Jack was back. She remembered the next morning Pete had asked if they were still a couple. Fifth hadn't counted on voicemail. Pete had known all along, well, at least suspected something had happened. And he'd never told her!

All he had to have done was tell Sam about the phone message which meant she'd have told Jack and—Man, oh, man, she'd been one dumb gullible blonde! And she was about to confess she and Jack were married. No, she'd leave that for another time. Let him read it in the classified ads when they reaffirmed their nuptials on earth. She refused to give Pete more ammo.

"You know what I don't get?"

"What?" Sam regretted the moment the word left her mouth.

"This younger women and older men obsession. I mean the guy's what fifteen years your senior?"

Sam thought to correct him, but realized two years wouldn't change Pete mind about Jack.

"Our age difference doesn't matter, Pete. Never has."

"So you think he's going to sexually satisfy you ten years down the road? Let alone be able to toss a baseball to your kids when he's pushing sixty-something?"

"That's enough." Anger bubbled up inside her. "And doesn't warrant an answer!"

"I think it does. You owe me, Sam." He defied her.

"Fine! General O'Neill will always satisfy my needs, Pete, because there's more to being lovers than sex! Even if we were the same age we'd be together. As for kids," she wasn't about to share that Jack was aging at a slower rate than other humans and had the anatomy of a thirty-five year old. "He's a great father to Cassandra. And because he's older, the general's far more patient, wiser, and maturated then most men my age—"

"The general? You can't even call him by his first name can you? Talk about a dysfunctional relationship."

"He's still my superior officer, Pete." '_But then you can't comprehend that type of respect and loyalty,'_ She now saw how Pete often altered what she said to be what he wanted to hear. How blind and deaf she'd been.

"And suddenly I'm not patient, wise or mature?" He rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say that," Sam countered softly.

He snorted and shook his head. "Oh, I've been plenty patient and mature, Sam. But clearly if I'd been wiser, I'd have put O'Neill down months ago!"

She opened her mouth then closed it and mused, '_just like you did at O'Malley's?'_ And yet her diplomatic skills strove for a clean break. "Please, Pete. Let's not argue. It's over. This is my fault. I had no right leading you on. I should never have dated you, let alone accepted your proposal. I apologize for hurting you and hope that one day you can forgive me."

"Forgive?" Pete exhaled, reached over and gently touched her cheek. When she flinched he dropped his hand and scowled. The injured puppy look returned to his blue eyes. "There's nothing to forgive. This isn't your fault, Sam. It's O'Neill's."

"No." She shook her head. "I'm the one who hurt you, not the Gen—Jack."

Pete didn't appear to listen. "Your dad was right on. We have nothing in common, Sam. Because you never loved me."

"That's not true!" '_I just wasn't in love with you.' _

"You talk in your sleep." He looked at her tenderly. He'd transformed from Jeckel to Hyde.

"Sorry." She wished he'd leave. '_Maybe I should just get up and . . .' _

"Yep. Yes, sir, this, no, sir, that. Jack! Jack! Seems you blew up a sun together. Wow, that had to be one heck of an orgasm! Now I know why you wouldn't make love to me. And when we did, you called out his name instead of mine—that hurt, Sam."

"I'm so sorry, Pete." How many times did she have to say that for him to understand?

And then his voice softened again. "I knew from the beginning. Guess I just thought when you'd said _yes _that . . ." He sighed and then looked at her. "You were worth the risk. Don't say I deserve better. Can't get much better than you."

"That's not true." '_Why's he being so nice again?'_

"I wish I could believe this had something to do with your father—you needed sometime to just work things out. I guess all I can say is I hope you get what you want."

"That's it?"

"What do you want? You want me to get down on my knees and beg?"

"No! Of course not! I just . . . I thought you would react differently." She didn't like the rage she'd glimpsed, but she also didn't like this part of him, the manipulative part. She watched his eyes fill with tears. Were they real? Of course. He loved her.

"Goodbye, Sam." He stood and started walking away.

"Pete . . ." As he tramped across the front yard, he swiped tears from his eyes. He stopped at the sign and peeled off the _SOLD _sign, then walked out of her life.

Pete hopped into his truck, sped off and then drove around the block. A few moments later he pulled up behind the black pickup and got out.

When the driver's side of the other truck's door opened, Jack immerged and strolled toward him. Adjusting his baseball cap and shades, he drew an anxious breath and let it out slowly. He knew Shanahan had spotted him. He'd wanted him to. Unlike Jack's short fling with Kerry, it wasn't fair that Sam had to bear the brunt of their engagement split up. Jack drove Sam to Pete's bed and now had to make it right. He had something to say to the younger man. He hoped he could get this gut instinct of distrust behind them. He recalled their encounter at O'Malley's and wondered if Sam's retelling of that night had refreshed Pete's memory. In all honesty, it didn't matter.

"Shanahan." Jack removed his sunglasses and looked the man straight on, while slipping the shades into his shirt pocket.

"O'Neill."

The two men faced off on the road out of Sam's range of view.

"I'm sorry." Jack forced out the difficult words and presented his hand in apology. He'd be the bigger man if it killed him.

Pete looked at his extended peace offering and snorted with disgust. "No you're not, old man." His fair features brightened with anger. "You're probably happier than a pig in mud!"

"I won't deny I'm not glad Sam chose me, but I'm sorry you got hurt." Jack stuffed his hands in his pant pockets and rocked on his heels.

"If it's any consolation, I haven't tossed in the towel. She wants kids, _old man_—."

"No. _We _want kids, Petty. And since I've already given Sam a beautiful daughter, this _old man's_ fish will have no problem swimming up into Sam's pond." Crap! He'd not meant to rub it in, but it felt good.

"What do you mean a daughter?"

Jack stared at him.

"Cassandra?" The shorter man turned pale.

"Yes." He realized Sam hadn't divulged that information. Oh, well!

"That means you two have been . . ."

"Yes." There was no reason confessing the how and the why of Cassandra's conception. "Twenty years ago."

"Why you, cradle robber! You don't deserve Sam!"

"Got that right, I don't. Neither do you. Look, Pete. I've loved Samantha forever. God knows why she loves me, but she does. As you've discovered we've got history with which you can't compete. Never could. Never will. I said before Fifth's brainwashing and I'll say it again, we're bonded in a way few humans ever experience and—"

"Ah, give it a freaking rest! Just coz you had a kid together means nothing. That happens all the times. Besides even after that Replicator brainwashing, Sam stayed with me! It's only coz you filled her head with all that Ancients _branding_ and mind melding stuff that she's left me!"

"I didn't tell her anything, Pete. If anything, I kept things from her that could have meant our reconciliation years ago. But despite Fifth's meddling, Sam and I would have eventually remembered the truth. That means that down the road she'd have divorced you. Even when we didn't remember, we couldn't keep our hands off each other."

"Are you telling me, you f!ed Sam behind my back?" Pete was up in his face.

"Don't ever use that vulgar word about Samantha! And no, we haven't been together while she was with you. It's against the regs, which if you ever cared to notice, Sam has great respect for. As do I."

"Yeah, well I doubt you have the same respect for them that Sam has or we wouldn't be here, would we? In fact, I bet you'd break the regs in a heartbeat if it meant getting between the sheets with her."

Wasn't that the truth? And that's when Jack saw the glimmer of hope in the man's eyes. Jack's jealous nature wanted Pete to know he wasn't going to get Sam back. Although this could come back and bite him, Jack confessed what he'd wanted to shout to the world for years.

"I'm telling you here and now. Sam's my wife! We've been married over four years, Shanahan!" He watched the younger man's complexion turn ashen.

"You're lying!"

"We were married off world."

"Sam would have told me." Pete shook his blonde head in adamant denial.

"Apparently not. We'd gotten an annulment and just found out it never went through."

"That's bullshit!"

"Whatever." Jack smirked and waggled his brows.

Pete poked his chest.

"Don't!" Jack's deadly gaze traveled from the man's face to where Pete's trigger finger jabbed him above his spleen and then back to Pete's face.

"Or what? You'll shoot me?" Pete lowered his hand.

"Remember the men's room at O'Malley's? Well, I was being a gentleman. I won't be this time." He glared into the man's comprehending gaze. And then it happened. Just a conversational thought on Jack's part. '_Coz, I can snap your neck like a dry twig, Shanahan, and never touch ya!' _

Pete blanched. Correction, he turned stark white, made an audible gurgling noise and backed off, but not before his beady eyes turned the size of flying saucers. And Jack heard him think, '_Shit! You're one of them!'_

"Ya think!" Jack snickered, letting his dimples tuck deep. Wow, Daniel was wrong. He could tap into someone who wasn't willing. Cool!

Pete pulled out his pistol and though he didn't point it at Jack, he made his intention known. As Pete walked backward to his vehicle, Jack remained unusually calm, but eased his hand to where his 9 mil set in his back holster, underneath his leather jacket. After all, he'd just messed with Pete's head. '_Peachy! Now the macho cop thinks I'm an alien. Well, if one put it in proper perspective, I sort of am.' _

As he opened his truck's door Pete got his second obnoxious wind. "I'm scared, old man, really scared." He laughed crudely.

Jack silenced his mind meddling and his tongue. Donning his most convincing 'I'm bored' expression, he stood his ground, wondering what the nutcase was up to.

Rolling down the driver's window Pete called out in a tone that left no leeway. "Fair warning, General. I'm onto you. So watch your back!" With that, he burned rubber and drove away.

"Ah, crap!" Jack hurried to his truck wondering if he should tell Carter, er um, Sam. Nope. Not going to happen. Bad enough he'd tapped into the cop's head. And he wasn't proud of it. Hopefully it was just hot air spewing from a spurned lover. Jack knew differently. In his anger, he had given Pete Shanahan incriminating evidence. First, he'd threatened him. Secondly, it'd been through telepathy. Then again, Jack mused, it was one man's thought against another's. Who would ever believe him?

Pete punched in the phone number he'd agreed to only use for emergencies.

"What?" Came the harsh response at the other end.

"It's Shanahan."

"I know who this is, you aren't supposed to contact us!"

"And this is supposed to be a secured line."

"I wouldn't have answered if it wasn't."

"Carter ditched me."

"You fool!"

"Don't worry. I'll get her back. I have too."

"I told you not to get emotionally involved. Your assignment was to infiltrate the SGC, not marry the bitch."

"I did what I had to, in order to do my job. And we're not over yet, especially if you expect to stay ahead of the SGC. I planted more bugs yesterday. 'Sides, I know too much for _them_ to let me walk. Even better, I've got intel on O'Neill."

"This better be good."

"Oh, it's better than good. And I'm not sharing it over the phone. We have an agreement and I expect you to uphold your end."

"You're telling me that what you've got on Brigadier General O'Neill is worth two mill?"

"And then some, because it doesn't just involve him, but you gotta promise Carter stays with me."

"Can't make promises until I know what you got, Shanahan."

"Fine. I'm coming in now."

After Pete had sped off, Sam sat for the longest time, eyes closed, listening to the solitude of the wooded property, realizing how similar it was to Jack's place on the other side of town. All that was missing was the rushing brook in Jack's three-acre wooded backyard. Pete really had tried to give her what she'd wanted. But all she'd wanted was mouthy, cantankerous, General Jack O'Neill, who loved her more than life. She wasn't worthy of him. Ten minutes later, she heard the familiar purr of his V8 on the street curb. A door slammed. Footfalls crunched against the stone driveway.

"Hey," came the husky voice she'd longed to hear.

Swiping at her tears of shame, she looked up to find him striding across the lawn in his lanky gait, hands fisted in his tan kakis front pockets, the sleeves of his blue polo shirt jammed up his sun bronzed forearms. Per usual, his ball cap was tugged over his forehead and his sunglasses concealed those brown eyes that she knew caressed her with concern. Just the sight of him helped heal her heart. He was so worth it. '_Thanks, God!'_

"Nice house and wooded lot." He smiled approval, his dimples tucked into his blue-shadowed features. "Very you." He brandished a hand toward her.

"Yeah, well, come to find out, Pete really didn't like it. He prefers Scandinavian contemporary."

"Ah." He slipped off his glasses and toyed with them.

"He loves me, Jack." She sniffed back a nose full.

"Yes, he does." Jack settled beside her pressed a clean handkerchief against her nostrils and ordered, "Blow."

She did, this time without sound effects. He gently dabbed her wet eyes before he shoved the handkerchief into his back pocket. She remained rigid. He frowned at her, then eased his arm possessively around her waist and tucked her into his left side. Rib to rib, like Adam and Eve. Exhausted, she took refuge in his embrace. Funny, how his shoulder was always there for her, no matter what.

"The man loves you, for the same reason I do, Sam. You've got the most generous heart of anyone I know. And why you'd settle for this ornery old coot still confounds me." He pressed his warm lips to her forehead.

"Because it's always been you, I've loved. Even when you pushed me away, I should have realized what you were doing. You were letting me fly to discover that no other man will ever love me the way you do, unconditionally and without condemnation. Even after I've broken our marriage vows and lost your trust, you've taken me back."

"Stand down, Colonel! We both screwed up! We put duty and pride before each other. That's not going to happen ever, again. And from here on out, we don't' discuss Pete or Kerry. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" She smiled at his military inflection. "I still don't deserve you." She clutched his shirtfront and pressed her face into him, inhaling and taking comfort in the familiar scent that she never wanted to leave.

"Sure don't. You ought to have better and I'm going to try my best to make sure you get it." He caressed her hair, kissed her forehead and then escorted her to the truck and into the passenger side. Jack climbed behind the wheel to find Sam staring at the quaint Tudor styled house. "Ya want this place?" he asked seriously, removing his cap and hand combing his hair.

Her mouth opened and she twisted to stare at him. "Absolutely not! Why would you think that?"

"Well, it's similar to the design I sketched to remodel mine, closer to the county park and grade school and—" he sniffed.

Hands flaying, Sam yelled through another deluge of tears. "I so don't want this house! I want your house—our house, but not this house. Never! Ever! Understood?"

"Holy buckets! Message received loud and clear, Colonel." Jack reached over and snatched her lethal weapons—hands and held on tight as he turned into her.

Closing her eyes Sam nodded in exhaustion. To her utter wonder the next thing she felt was Jack's sweet wet mouth tasting her salty lips as he whispered, "Hush, Saamm."

Reaching out she clung to him and nodded, her lips parting as his hot tongue requested entry. For one long indefinite moment, they kissed and Sam's head and heart started to spin with a wild rush of hormonal charged emotions.

Sam was home!

Jack hadn't meant this to happen yet, but knew he alone determined when their re-bonding would occur. He'd tried to resist, but his Ancient genes screamed to reclaim that which he'd thought he'd lost, the other half of him. Samantha.

His swift heart matched Sam's. Their kiss was a reaffirmation of the first bonding. The impassioned rush of their emotions and DNA merged and then melded into one. The next step to their branding re-established, they held on tight and became lost in one another, just like the first time. Limbs shaking, hearts racings, ragged gasps. Drunk with love!

"Mine," he murmured in his kiss of tenure while their tongues dueled and he took control.

"Yours." Tears spilled down Sam's cheeks, then, "Mine," when she branded Jack for herself and he submitted a she eased over the center console and straddled him. The woman's agility amazed him!

Tasting her tears, Jack ended their branding kiss sweetly and then rocked her in his arms, fingers rhythmically stroking her blond hair. "Always."

Jack was home!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN 

The Ancient's Diner:

"Daniel?"

"What?" He sighed and tapped his fingers on the counter top.

"You must decide." Oma insisted.

"Oh, I've pretty much done that." He smirked at her. "You see, I'm remembering an awful lot. Including the last time I was up here you showed me critical incidents in Jack and Sam's lives. Lots, as a matter of fact. I know how important they are in the grand scheme of things. In fact, you're probably the only one here who wants them to live and succeed."

She nodded and glanced nervously around. "And?"

"The main reason you helped me ascend the first time was because of Jack and Sam."

"Yes, but there were other reasons. You must choose." She poured him more coffee and chewed her lower lip with open worry.

As casually as possible, Daniel sipped the coffee and decided it wasn't as good as his homebrew. "Oma, you said I could either ascend or stay dead. That's if I'm bonafide dead." Yep, that made her flinch.

"But hey, I figure there's another option and that you and your fellow Ancients aren't in control of that third factor. In fact, you're not in control of anything, are you? So who is?"

"You know I'm not allowed to speak His name here." She grimaced and turned away toward the kitchen.

"But I can." Daniel took a chance and spoke up, "Meaning, _The Keeper of the Stars. The Great I am. Yahweh, God Almighty_!"

Heads turned. Daniel looked at their alarmed faces as he realized what he'd refused to believe for so long. There was only one power in Heaven and Earth and it wasn't these wannabe gods. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You know who is really in control of the universe and it's so not you, pathetic creatures. You, who had the wisdom of angels and knowledge of your father, Adam and just like him, you blew it. But, because God gave all mankind free will, He let you play out your hand. And because of your vile vanity, you're stuck here in your own hell until the final Judgement."

Oma turned chalk white.

Daniel continued, "Yeah, let's see, I believe it's in Genius 6:4. The Nephilim were on the Earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

"And there were giants . . .that's it, isn't? You guys are the result of Angels sleeping with the Tau'ri females, half-angel, half-human. Gosh that's gotta be the pits! So if you are the supposedly good Ancients, there's gotta be bad Ancients too. My bet is that Anubis falls is one of the bad boys."

"Bravo!" Anubis clapped and re-entered the diner. "And just what are you going to do about it, Doctor Jackson?"

"Pray." Daniel smiled at the demonic Ancient and then looked regretfully at Oma. "And hope that for once, somebody here has the guts to do the right thing or I will." He stalked toward Anubis asking God to intervene!

Jack had a hard time keeping the smirk off his face. So did Sam. But once they'd past through base security they fell back into military mode. Jack hoped their bonding wouldn't affect their professional behavior. They'd know soon. Just before the elevator started to take them down twenty-seven levels Jack brushed his hand against hers, their fingers intertwined and in sync they started—

"Humming?" he cocked a brow at her, let alone it was '_Somewhere Over The Rainbow.'_

"I am?" She frowned and stared straight a head.

"Yes, yes you are." He mimicked her facial expression and looked at the door trying to keep the joy out from his voice.

"So are you."

"So?" He rolled his shoulders.

"So what's her name?" Sam countered and stared at him with a stern face but laughing blue eyes.

"Dorothy. And his?" Jack shot back, giving her hand an extra squeeze.

"Scarecrow." She smirked.

"We seem to have mutual obsessions, Carter."

"Most categorically, sir."

They kept humming and Jack winced as Sam failed to hold the melody.

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Did you flunk music 101?"

"Didn't say I was brilliant at everything, sir." She snorted and playfully yanked her hand from his and took one step away as if insulted.

"Well, that's a load off these gray cells." He chuckled and winked.

She glared over.

"Oy! Um, I mean to know there are some things I do better than you . . . I'm just saying."

"You do most everything better than me. So, don't play dumb with me, sir."

"Me, play dumb? Never, Carter." He felt his dimples tug in deeper, saw her smile and knew without a doubt, they were in this for the long haul. Sweet!

"Yeah, right." She smiled broader, turned serious and then glinted. "I know all your secrets, sir. For instance there are three levels of genius and you qualify as number two!" She held up two fingers. "So, if you ever ask me to explain the wormhole theory with an apple, again, so help me, I'll—," She waved her hands in feigned anger.

"Kiss me, stupid?" he teased.

"Yeah sure yabetacha." She winked back.

"Cool." They exchanged an intimate look and then clearing their throats returned to their military mindsets. Meanwhile, the ancient elevator lurched slowly downhill, literally. Jack closed his eyes and sighed his impatience.

Sam mimicked him as a serious moment fell between them.

"Um, not to alter this illuminating moment of comparing IQ's, but about that transfer request you put in, Colonel."

"You shredded it." She folded her arms over her breasts and looked straight ahead.

"Yes." He leaned against the car's doorframe, glanced at her and smugly smiled. "Both."

"I gave Walter three copies."

"You what?" His head turned sharply at her.

"I believe I just said—."

"Ah, for cryin' out loud, Carter!"

"A bit redundant, sir." She smirked, but didn't look at him. "Considering we agreed I'd apply for a transfer from the SGC."

"I know, Colonel." He rubbed his aching lower back. "But now that we're here and in the light of day, well, you don't have to resign from SG-1, since I—."

The elevator door opened and Kerry Johnson stood there, smiling. "General, Colonel." She entered the elevator, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Ms. Johnson." Jack failed to make eye contact. Talk about strained. This was worse than a grungy.

"Kerry," Sam said informally then blushed. Despite her incredible acting ability, he figured she felt uneasy.

Jack stepped aside so Kerry could stand between them. Instead, she stood by Sam forcing Jack and Sam closer. He knew that had been deliberate and glanced at the floor meter . . . six lousy floors. This wouldn't be the last they'd see of Ms. Johnson. As there was no audio on the elevator, he decided to set things straight, but Kerry got there first.

"So, Samantha, did Jack tell you I suggested he retire?"

"No, he didn't." Sam looked at him wide-eyed.

"Well I did." She winked.

"Sorry," he mouthed to Sam, who seemed upset. One hand in his pant's pocket Jack leaned heavier against the elevator willing it to move faster. Just when he was seeing light someone managed to switch off the light bulbs, figuratively speaking.

"You do know he's symmetrically perfect." Kerry addressed Sam.

"I know."

"Huh?" Jack glanced at both women, who he couldn't believe were smiling at each other.

"So was it his scent?" Kerry grinned.

"Yep." Sam smiled at Jack.

"Me too." Kerry sighed. "Oh, well, hope there's more where he came from."

"Nope. God broke the mold." Sam laughed softly as if sharing a private joke.

"Smart." Kerry sighed out.

"I know."

'_Symmetrically perfect! Ah, not them too?'_ Level twenty-two couldn't come fast enough. When it did, Kerry smiled at Sam then Jack before she stepped off. "I wish you both the best and hope to get a wedding invitation."

He smiled stiffly. "Thanks, Kerry. Ah, she'll get an invitation right, Carter?"

"Sure. Of course."

The door closed. Sam let an audible sigh. "Um, that was strained."

"Ya think? So wanna explain that symmetrically perfect exchange?"

"Nope." A grin tugged her lips.

"Excuse me. You just told Kerry I'm a great lover." He glanced over.

"How'd you—?" Sam gaped.

"You're not the only one who _listens _to Discovery Channel." Jack snorted with manly pride.

"Wow! I—" Sam blushed from the tip of her blonde head to her neckline and stared at the door, sucking air. Yes! He'd scored! If they weren't on the freaking elevator he'd kiss her until her lips fell off.

"So, you okay, Carter?"

Apparently still stunned by his sharp comeback she cautiously met his devilish smirk and then relaxed. "Forever okay, sir." She smiled up at him and his heart tripped over itself. Yeah. They were going to be okay! Now if he could just figure out what _symmetrically perfect_ meant.

They'd just changed into their BDU's when all Netu broke loose.

Teal'c was back. In the Briefing Room he and Jack stood near the Gate Room window.

"The rebel fleet guarding Dakara has fallen to the forces of Anubis. Bra'tac and the remaining rebel ships will not arrive in time." Teal'c anxiously explained.

Sam hurried in and came to stand beside Teal'c facing Jack.

"Anubis now controls the weapon." Teal'c finished, shaking his head in regret.

"Well then," Jack barked angrily. "We find the biggest, damned nuke we can and we shove it right through the Gate now!" He made a jamming motion and glanced at Sam, but sensed she was thinking and not necessarily his suggestion.

"Anubis will certainly have the Gate shielded. The nuke will not arrive in one piece." Teal'c insisted.

Sam nodded in agreement and frowned at Jack. "If we can dial the Alpha site, we may be able to prevent the weapon from connecting the wormhole to either planet. It may only buy us the thirty-eight minutes that the Gate can—"

"Go, go—just go." Jack impatiently waved her on.

Sam hurried down the stairs and into the Control Room and over to Walter at the control desk.

"Sergeant, dial the Alpha site now!"

Walter nodded and the Gate started to dialup. He looked at his screens. "Wait a minute – that's not me."

"What?" Sam glanced at the gate.

Walter got flustered. "I don't know."

Jack and Teal'c came along side Sam while the Gate continued to dial and klaxons blared.

"Incoming wormhole!" Walter shut the iris.

Worried, Sam glanced at Jack. "That's not gonna stop the energy from the weapon."

"If it _is_ the weapon." He shrugged.

Behind the iris, the Stargate kawhooshed and Walter rechecked the screens. "No iris codes."

She looked at Jack. "We're too late!"

"Self destruct." Jack let out a troubled groan and touched her thoughts. '_Pray, Sam!'_

"That's not gonna destroy the Gate, and theoretically there's only a remote chance it would disengage an active incoming wormhole."

'_Sam?'_

'_I'm praying! Oh, Jack, I can't do this anymore!'_

"Carter!" his voice softened, "Carter."

Nodding, Sam bent to a console and typed her code to activate the emergency self-destruct. Jack did the same at the next console.

The self-destruct had reached seven seconds. Everyone looked anxious. As the self-destruct reached 1:30 the countdown slowed down. A couple of second later, the Gate shut down.

"Wormhole disengaged." Walter announced in surprise.

"What's going on?"

Walter shrugged. "I don't know. Must be some kind of . . . system malfunction."

Sam gawked. "That's impossible!"

Jack glanced at the remaining seconds. "Shut it off!"

Sam began typing. "Aborting self destruct." The self-destruct shut down. She gazed at Jack, who blew out a relieved breath.

'_You okay?'_ he held Sam's fractured expression

'_No!'_ She turned and walked away.

Forty-five minutes later, Jack hung up from the President then went to his credenza and poured a shot glass of Chivas Scotch from his silver flask. He heard Carter's familiar rap against his open door's frame and breathed relief. Another few minutes and he'd have gone looking for her.

"Enter," he said over his shoulder.

She cleared her throat and he turned to offer her the shot glass. He'd expected to see her smile. Nope. It'd been another close call, too many of late, and then they'd had to put out the fires that accompanied initiating a self-destruct code. They'd almost lost each other—again. Jack had long stopped counting how many times they'd faced the aftermath, often together, most often alone, which was always the hardest.

Jack worried. Her present expression was not that of his unruffled flagship team leader. It was the face of the woman he loved and she had let down her guard for him. Not something she easily did, nor did he. But over the last twelve hours they'd been more open with each than they'd been in the last two years. It was wonderful and frightening.

Now that they'd re-branded he keenly felt his bond with her strengthening physically, emotionally and mentally. He feared he might short-circuit if he couldn't keep a handle on it. They had weeks if not months in the same chain of command and Jack summoned all his will power not to take her into his arms and comfort her, let alone to make love. That last urge had grown stronger than ever. Another thing, Daniel failed to warn him about.

"Ya know, I think we need to have the fine print on this flask revamped." He turned it over as if to read it and his lips twitched.

"You do?" Her head snapped upward as her gray blue eyes focused on him in recognition of his suggestion.

"Yep. Coz you never lost me, Sam. I'm still here. We both are." He smiled intimately and she nodded with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Not good. "Drink." He pressed the small glass into her hand, folding her cold, trembling fingers around it.

"I shouldn't, sir." She looked at the amber liquid and her delicate chin quivered with restrained emotion.

"That's an order, Colonel." He gestured as he lifted the flask to his lips, but waited until she obeyed before he donned a mouthful of the smooth Scotch whisky.

After she'd drunk the whisky Sam settled in the chair while he perched on his desktop. She rolled the empty shot glass in her hands and avoided his scrutiny.

'_You okay, Babe?'_

'_A bit redundant?' _She glanced up as her chin trembled and her thoughts came to him as clear as if she were talking. '_I've lost my professional edge. I'm not afraid to die, but not being in your arms when it happens . . .' _She grimaced and looked away as if her admission a sign of weakness.

"Guess we both need a change of scenery." He nodded.

"What?" She looked up.

Jack dragged a hand through his hair and then extended his arms, palms down toward her. "Yeah, this is happening way too often." His hands trembled.

Before he clenched his hands and lowered them, Sam's eyes widened at the physical sign and the impact of his words.

"I'm fried to the max and emotionally bankrupt. Don't know how Hammond did it all those years. If I don't do something soon, I'm going to mess up big and take innocent lives with me. I knew it when I almost lost the three of you on the Prometheus."

"Sir, I—"

"Nah ah!" He flourished a hand. "I'm too close to the situation and people. I can't do this anymore, at least at this level. I've either got to be back in the field off world or somewhere else, at least for a while. I had thought about finding and setting up the additional Alpha and Beta sites, but that's a dream post at best."

"I'd no idea." Sam blinked and frowned. "I thought it was just me."

"Nah. I never should have accepted this position. It's not me, never was . . ."

"So it's true, then. You've been planning on a change for awhile?"

"Yeah." He frowned at his hands. "Hammond never wanted the Home World Security Post, but at the time he hadn't any choice. He wants to retire but has another year before he's sixty-five. Hayes wants him to stay active incase there's a need. George only agreed if he could move back to the Springs with his daughter and the girls. The girls miss their friends." He realized he was rambling.

"Which leaves the Home World Security position open?" Sam ventured.

"Yes, well. It's another step up the rung but George said the stress is less, coz he doesn't make the all decisions alone, but with the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Hayes offered the job to me six months back. I said no then because . . ." he glanced over.

"Thank you." She blushed.

'_It's always been for you, Sam.' _He smiled shyly.

'_Same here, Jack.' _"So now what?"

With his door opened they noted Walter waiting in the wings with his jacket in hand.

"Whatsup, Walter?" He waved him in.

"Just heading out, sir. Master Bra'tac should gate in shortly. Is there anything you or," he looked with concern at Sam, "the colonel need before I go?"

Jack watched as Sam stood and smiled at the bothered man, but her smile failed to reach her weary eyes. Jack answered for her. "No, we'll be fine, Walter, thanks for everything. And make certain to give your kids extra hugs tonight."

"Will do, sir." The Sergeant nodded and then took a step toward Sam. "Colonel, I want you to know that I really liked and respected your father, General Carter and Selmak. I'll miss them."

"Thank you, Walter. Dad liked you a lot too, so did Selmak."

"Really!" His smile brightened.

"Yes, they did." Sam reached out and embraced the shorter man. "And thank you for everything, Walter. The SGC couldn't run as smoothly as it does without you. Right, General?"

"Er—um, yeah, right." Yep, Walter was about to get another bonus check and promotion.

"It's my job, ma'am. And thank you, sir." He blushed to the top of his baldhead. "Oh, General, I know I've asked you before, but can I stop playing that Roy Orbson CD in the commissary? The personnel are complaining that it's sappy and depressing." He nervously glanced at Sam who blushed before she glared at Jack.

'I so own you, Jack O'Neill!' 

'_Oy!'_ Jack gulped and winced. "Sure, Walter. I here-by order upbeat music for the commissary."

"Thanks, sir. Oh, by the way, we finally got those backorders of canned ham, mac and cheese, Jell-O, instant oatmeal and Froot Loops."

"Wow! I mean that's nice." Jack cleared his throat but then realized Sam was grinning at his pleased expression.

"Yes, sir. Ironically just like last time, they sent the backorders of the backorders . . .which means we've got fifty-five cases extra each."

"Each? Oy!"

"Yes, sir, but I figured since we don't have enough storage space, you'd want most of it sent to the homeless shelter per usual all doubled backorders."

"You're, a good man, Walter."

Thank you, sir." The airman grinned, saluted and then turned, whistling as he left.

"Amazing," Sam commented as if to no one in particular. "I don't recall Hammond ever having so many backorder issues before. But it has proven fortunate for the shelter, especially since donations are down."

"Yes, well, guess shit happens for a reason." Jack shut down his brain, avoided her calculating gaze and headed for his desk to put away his flask. Curse the woman, she read him like a book. Sam snatched his arm and turned him forcefully around.

"And if I didn't know better, I'd suspect someone mucked up those backorders on purpose."

"Well, you are the brilliant one, Carter."

"Sir?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"Gosh, golly, whatcha know." He smiled into her laughing eyes and found heaven smiling back at him.

Briefing Room: Two Hours later.

While waiting for Teal'c and Bra'tac to return, Sam and Jack discussed some serious career changes for both of them. Sam preferred the hands on post at Area 51 and Jack agreed to make it happen. It was nearly midnight before Teal'c and Bra'tac returned. Everyone was exhausted. Soon as Sam told the Jaffa warriors about Jacob/Selmak's death and they exchanged words of comfort, including Teal'c hugging Sam a lot, they returned to business.

While Teal'c and Bra'tac shared what they'd experienced at the end of the galaxy facing Anubis, Sam sat near Jack at the head of the table, closer than in the past.

Jack's idea.

Even though he appeared all business and exercised his fingers on the polished tabletop, he played footsy with Sam. She couldn't contain the smile that warmed her lips at his flirtatious behavior while Bra'tac talked and the all-knowing Teal'c watched their teasing behavior with prideful approval.

"The Kull warriors became . . .disorganized, confused, as though they no longer knew what to do." Bra'tac explained.

Teal'c nodded. "They no longer had a master to serve."

Jack's calf rubbed Sam's and he smiled at her.

"After that, they were easily defeated." Bra'tac added, smiling at Jack.

Teal'c smiled with greater emotion. "Many Jaffa lost their lives at Dakara. Those that survived are united as never before, and we are in agreement – the weapon must be destroyed."

"Well, that's good." Jack quickly agreed, his fingers moving more restlessly as he kept looking at Sam. Despite his amorous attention, she knew he was thinking about the same person who occupied her thoughts. Daniel.

Bra'tac expounded. "A new memorial will be erected in its place so that our triumph over the Goa'uld will never be forgotten."

Sam chewed her lip. "I still don't quite understand what happened. One minute Anubis is about to push the button that ends all life in the galaxy, and the next minute he's just . . . gone."

"Indeed. It is a great mystery." Teal'c nodded in agreement.

Bra'tac looked from one to the other. "One can only assume he was vanquished by some beings. If not, why would he forfeit the weapon and his army?"

Sam looked at Jack. "You think?"

"I do." He nodded with a wink.

Sam's heart sped up. "It's the only thing that would explain the self destruct not going off."

"Of what do you speak?" Bra'tac looked curiously from her to Jack.

Teal'c explained. "O'Neill believes that Daniel Jackson was somehow responsible."

"No! It wasn't me."

Everyone jolted at the familiar voice that echoed into the room. Jack appeared equally startled.

"Anybody else hear that?" he looked at Sam.

She nodded.

"I'm in here!" Daniel called out.

The foursome turned toward Jack's dark office.

"That's Daniel!" Jack leapt up and hurried to his office door.

"No! _Don't_ come in!" Daniel warned.

Sam watched her husband recoil at whatever he saw. "Ho! Hey there!" He backed out of the room and made hand gestures in front of his groin as he channeled Sam, '_He's back! And buck naked!'_

'_Wow! Really?'_

'_Seeing's believing!'_

'_Um, I'll take your word.' _She laughed.

"Hey, can you get me . . . something?" Daniel quietly begged him.

Jack looked around the Briefing Room and spotted the SGC flag on its pole beside his door. He ripped it off the flagpole and handed it to Daniel, then turned away and looked absently around, meeting Sam's astonished expression. '_Stop laughing!'_

'_Trying!' _

A moment later, a naked Daniel exited the office, securing the flag around his waist. Jack fiddled awkwardly with the flagpole as Sam's jaw dropped, before she tore her gaze away.

Teal'c nodded approval of Daniel's undignified return, while Bra'tac starred, then grinned wide.

"It's, uh, a long story." Daniel gestured with his free hand.

Embarrassed, Sam looked at her returned friend and smiled. Behind Daniel, Jack finally looked at his best buddy. Daniel glanced at him while Jack flustered and looked away before clearing his voice and asking, "So glad to be back, Space Monkey?"

"Yep. There's no place like home." Daniel grinned and everyone broke into relieved laughter.

_CHAPTER SEVENTEEN_

Between the seemingly perpetual visits of Daniel, Teal'c, Mark and his family and Cassandra, Jack and Sam had little private time, besides falling asleep in each other arms. _Branding_ proved a major inconvenience not to mention discomfiture, as Jack had an ongoing erection, while Sam kept changing her panties; well he's just saying, assuming. Yeah. So far they were dealing. No need for antidepressants or whisky. They'd get through this together and very soon, they'd go fishing.

Jack collected no dust making a conference call to Hammond and President Hayes to respectfully inform them that he and Sam were in love and intended to act on it pronto. He stated they wanted out of each other's chain of command ASAP or fraternization regulations would be broken and, that court martial of two superior officers of the Stargate project wouldn't be prudent. Jack expected the President and George to blow a gasket. They did and barked in unison, "It's about fricking time, Jack!"

Meanwhile, besides explaining how Oma vanquished Anubis, Daniel retained some amazing knowledge from dining at the Ancient's Diner, including everything he remembered when he'd gone Ancient the first time. And, how Oma had given Daniel glimpses of Sam and Jack's intricately woven lives, including their abduction by Nirrti.

After he explained the whole branding process, Jack and Sam realized why their hormones were screaming for them to be together. Because Jack already possessed Ancient DNA, they'd become partially branded when Nirrti had forced their copulation twenty years ago. After his first download, their attraction grew stronger and yet they'd managed to resist. Daniel also said that Oma had confirmed that if they didn't make love regularly they'd get sick and could eventually die from lack of intimacy. Hearing that news, Jack thought he'd died and gone to Heaven, figuratively speaking, of course.

Daniel loudly suggested that they must have consummated their branding on Chulak, to which they still denied they had. Despite their denials, Daniel concluded that when Jack went Ancient the last time, he'd completed the transformation. So when he'd kissed Sam that night before Fifth intervened, they had became _branded_ as one heart, body and mind as if they'd consummated their love. So the second time they kissed was more of a reaffirmation, one of many such kisses, according to Daniel's theory.

Other than that illuminating eye-opener, it continued to be a rough time for Sam. Which began with the memorial service for her father in front of the Stargate with the SGC, Tok'ra, Jaffa and Asgard the next morning.

Jack had made certain that his and Sam's mini-me's, Jonathon and Samantha got security clearance for the service. Jack was pleased to see the teenage couple talking with Hammond and Davis in the Briefing Room. And yeah, he and Sam talked about how Sam secretly donated her DNA to the Asgard so Samantha could be created for Jonathon.

Meanwhile, General Jack O'Neill had other family issues. Times like this he felt totally useless. He'd rather be facing a platoon of Goa'uld than his daughter's wrath.

Doh—the joys of fatherhood!

Jack's Office:

Flicking an alien object from his tepid coffee Jack tried to act, well, natural. Of course their conversation was anything but a typical American suburban family discussion.

"Holy Hannah! You're telling me that a Re'tu female managed to get Dad's sperm and one of your eggs, Mom, and then created a test-tube baby that matured into a nine-year old in a few weeks?" Cassandra mimicked Jack's flabbergasted expression to a T.

"Well, I know it sounds crazy, hon." Sam buttoned up her Dress Blues jacket. "But yes, that's basically how Charles, um Chuck came into existence."

Wordless, Jack nodded. What was there to say, so far both their kids were products of some alien wacko experimenting on Sam and him. He leaned back in his chair and watched his daughter's animated response, hands waving; pretty face scrunching like a musical Accordion. Geez, is that what he looked like to others? Yuck!

"Crap! I don't understand why we couldn't have at least met before now!" Cassandra exploded with an O'Neill temper tantrum.

"It's their way, Cass." Sam tried to calm her daughter. "Your Dad and I had to sign a waver with the Tok'ra. One of the stipulations being, that Chuck had limited access to his Tau'ri family until they deemed him fit."

"And you of all people, agreed to their asinine demands?" Cassandra accused Jack.

"Nah ah!" He flagged a finger. "It's complicated, Cass. Neither your mom nor I realized that Chuck was our son until after he'd left with the Tok'ra. They were the only ones able to save his life. I knew he looked like Charlie, but figured it was because the Re'tu had used my DNA. So we assumed he was a mini-me. Later, Jacob and another Tok'ra scientist discovered the truth. And at the time we didn't know you were our daughter. So when they allowed us limited visitations we agreed to their terms."

"We were desperate, Cass." Sam bent and put her arm around her quaking shoulders. "I know when dad learned about your conception, he'd told Jacob/Selmak, who took the issue to the Tok'ra council, but they denied your dad being able to tell either you or Chuck, the truth."

"Yeah." He sighed. "And Chuck didn't know about you until Jacob told him after Selmak had taken ill last month. We're just grateful he'll be here for this memorial service, but he's got to return with the Tok'ra delegates."

"Return? They aren't even here yet . . . and the service is about to start. Why must they always make everyone else wait? Chuck's human! Why can't he stay with us? This is such bullshit!" Cassandra countered like a little child, then looked to her dad for confirmation.

"Cassandra!" Sam addressed her mouth.

"Yes it is, Sunshine, but that's how it's been with the egotistical Tok'ra since day one. They call the shots and our government lets them." Jack sighed out.

"And you're okay with that?" Cass gave him the incredulous O'Neill look.

"Yes. Well. No! Of course not! They're still slimy, creepy snakeheads and. . ."

"What?" Sam looked sharply at him, challenging him to say what he thought and then face her wrath.

"Incoming Wormhole!" blared over the base intercom. Saved by the bell! Jack hoped it was the better late than never snakeheads.

"Dang it, Sam. You know Selmak was the only Tok'ra I learned to trust and even that took years."

Hands on her hips, she continued to glower.

"Well, it did." He shrugged. "And with you, too."

Shoving out of her chair Cassandra glanced his way as he slipped his Dress Blue medal laden suit jacket from a coat hanger.

"I'm still pissed you two kept this from me." She specifically honed in on Jack, who blew out an exasperated breath between his lips. They had only thirty-minutes before the service in the Gate Room. This bickering was a losing battle.

"So any other pertinent details you've failed to tell me?" She glanced accusingly from her father to mother.

"No." Sam answered wearily and then sent a beseeching look to Jack.

"Wha-at?" He forced his puckered expression to relax, while Sam paced and bounced her clenched fists against her thighs. He knew that testy tone. The last thing she needed was for him to go off on his rant of, '_twenty-plus examples of why the Tok'ra suck.'_ Unlike Sam and Daniel, Jack still didn't trust the _'good guys Goa'uld.'_

Example twenty-one: Chuck had been on a mission when Jacob had taken ill. Despite Jack's politically correct request that his son come home to see Jacob before he died, it didn't happen. Per the Tok'ra norm, they didn't inform the teenager until after the fact. Another topic for Jack's Crap List.

"No," Jack countered firmly. "You already know and have met our mini-me's." He indicated the Briefing Room.

"Yeah. Jonathon's an obnoxious kid."

"Yes. Well, that's because I was." Jack rolled his shoulders.

"Samantha's nice, though." She smiled at Sam. "I only hope Chuck's not obnoxious."

"Chuck's saving grace is he's got your mom's sweet patient nature." Jack smiled at Sam, who wasn't smiling.

A rap on the corridor door rescued him from his wife's scrutinizing glint.

"Enter." Jack buttoned up his blues.

The door opened and Walter stuck his head inside. "There's someone to see you, General."

Jack assumed it was the base chaplain.

Harriman stepped back, allowing the visitor to enter, and then closed the door behind him. Jack's heart lurched. He heard Sam gasp.

"Charlie—Chuck!"

The handsome teen had sprouted a good foot since the last they'd seen him and still had Sam's sandy blonde locks. The only difference it behaved like Jack's, standing at attention.

"Howdy folks!"

"Hey there, kid." Jack moved forward but Sam beat him. Watching with emotional reserve as Sam and Chuck hugged and kissed each other, Jack rocked on his heels in anticipation of embracing his son. Chuck had grown a good inch taller than his mom. He'd be over six-feet in no time.

Jack drew Cassandra to him and walked over to the cuddling twosome. "Um, there are others in need of a hug here, ya know." Jack whined.

Chuck glanced over Sam's shoulders and grinned invitation. His curious gray-blue gaze settled upon the young woman holding Jack's hand.

"Wow! You're Cassandra?" Chuck turned with Sam's arm around him. Jack grinned at Sam's maternal behavior while she swept a fleeting tear from her eyes. She had her son in tow and wasn't about to let go. Jack recalled the times Sam had questioned her motherly instincts or ability to be a good mom. Jack never doubted.

Cassandra nodded shyly and squeezed Jack's forearm.

Before either parent could speak Chuck took things in hand. "Well, kiddo, how about giving your little brother a welcome squeeze."

"Go get him." Jack ushered the suddenly timid Cassandra with both hands toward her brother.

"We promise he won't bite." Sam stepped beside Jack and winked at Cassandra.

"Only if she bites me first." Chuck laughed.

"No, but I play a mean game of chess, tow-head." She countered and hugged him.

"Tow-head!" Chuck muttered. "At least I don't a cavern between my eyebrows."

"Hey, it's the mark of a great thinker." Cassandra shot back with a smirk, fingering the delicate cress between her brows that mirrored Jack's deeper ravine.

"Only if you consider thinking about Homer Simpson and cake deep thinking."

"Hey! Enough dad trashing." Jack defended.

Arms linked around each other the siblings turned and waggled their brows in unison at their father and mother. Drawing Sam into his arms Jack glanced down at her. She glowed with pride and squeezed his hand.

"Man, I wish Dad could see them together." Her voice clogged with emotion.

"God willing, he can, Babe." Jack kissed the crown of her blonde head while their children checked each other out.

Their sweet reunion was short lived. A few minutes later Walter announced the Chaplin had arrived.

One hour later:

Shocked but pleased, Jack remained suspicious that the Tok'ra had honored Jacob and Selmak's personal request to remain together even in death and for their remains to remain on Earth. However, due to world security this required the human and Tok'ra remains be cremated. Despite his disapproval, Mark couldn't deny the cremation as Jacob had written the process into his living will.

Because of the presence of Aliens at the service, Mark and his family were not present. Sam felt horrible, but with less than a twelve hour window Jack had no time to clear them. Blame it on the Tok'ra. Jack did. Because they'd insisted the memorial service take place pronto. Apparently some minor System Lords were taking advantage of Anubis and Baal's demise. And why didn't Jack believe Baal was a crispy critter? Had to be his latent Ancient genes acting up.

Anyhow, everyone of importance showed, including Thor representing the Asgard, Lya the Nox, and Bra'tac, the Freed Jaffa Nation. The memorial service got even more emotional since it'd only been a year, since Janet's death. All things considered, it went well for a funeral. Jack, Teal'c, Daniel and Bra'tac shared their fond memories of serving with Jacob/Selmak. Unfortunately, due to security breaches, Cassandra and Chuck could not. Still, it was good to see the two teens coming to terms with the other's existence and bonding as siblings. Their kids held onto each other through the service. Jack stood beside Sam and discreetly held her hand, while Daniel and Teal'c stood on her left, with Daniel's arm around her waist. Just behind them, Jonathon and Samantha stood in each other's arms. Jack envied them.

It felt strange to realize that Sam and Samantha shared the same father, well technically. Unfortunately, Jacob never met his cloned teenage daughter, but Sam and her had spent several hours together at Jack's house, reminiscing while Sam brought the younger woman up to date on all things wonderful about Jacob/Selmak that she'd missed. Even Jonathon got in on the exploits of serving with Dad and several times, Jack had thought for certain that Jacob would walk through Jack's door and yell, "Surprise, kids, I'm back!" He didn't.

The memorial service was similar to Daniel's eight years ago when the team had been brainwashed to believe he'd died. Sam accompanied Jack carrying the wreath to the Gate's blue event horizon.

When General Hammond and Jack presented Sam with Jacob's folded flag she never shed a tear. That worried him. A lot. Even harder, less than an hour later, Chuck had to leave with his Tok'ra buddies. Jack was thankful Chuck's Tok'ra counterpart stayed quiet through it all. There'd be a time and place for the snake to talk with Cassandra, not now.

Jack had discreetly taken care of all arrangements. And, per usual, he remained his quiet stoic self under such personal pressures. Most of all, he remained ever alert to his family's needs, especially Sam's. He did it for her. Yeah.

The last funeral service and most difficult was the burial Jacob had requested, in which his remains were put to rest beside Sam's mother in their family plot. It was a private gathering and the only military dignitaries present were General Hammond and Major Paul Davis. Jack respected the younger man's personal loyalty and dedication to the Stargate Program.

Jack knew the unmarked van on the opposite side of the street was surveillance. That got his goat, royally. When he had pressed his former CO, George acknowledged yes, it was a surveillance vehicle for security purposes regarding Jacob/Selmak. Jack didn't buy it. Still, his main focus remained on the woman standing rigidly before him. In public she had refused his comfort, fearing reprimand for fraternization. She also had learned to block him from her thoughts. Darn, but she was a quick study. Today of all days, when he knew she was extremely vulnerable, she denied him. That hurt. But Jack knew his place in her heart and took comfort in that. So he did what he did best, he held back. Jack felt more comfortable in the background, less noticed. That's if wearing medal-laden dress blues, a hat and shades made one less noticed.

With Daniel and Teal'c on either side of Jack, shoulders brushing, he stood staunchly behind Sam waiting to catch her if she were to faint or fall. Meanwhile, Cassandra flanked Sam's left and Mark held her right hand. Daniel was his usual caring, open-mouthed self. He'd repeatedly questioned why Jack didn't stand beside Sam. Thank the stars Teal'c just frowned—at Jack.

"She needs her brother right now," Jack explained quietly, running a finger between his neck and the scratchy, starched collar of his white shirt. Man, he hated formal anything!

"She needs you, Jack."

Jack exhaled through his nostrils and withheld comment, because emotionally, Sam prevailed as only Colonel Samantha Carter could, with practiced dignity and few tears.

So they stood in the cemetery that fine, sunny day while the pastor who'd known Jacob for over forty years gave the graveside eulogy. Sam finally lost it during the missing man formation flyover followed by the twenty-one-gun salute. She began to cry against Cassandra's shoulder while Mark tried to console her, but appeared to be failing. Jack wanted to comfort her, but knew that if his independent colonel wanted him, she'd ask. It'd always been that way between them and he did not expect it to change now.

"For cryin' out loud, Dad." His daughter looked beseechingly over Sam's tremulous shoulders at him.

Jack flinched.

Daniel cleared his throat and elbowed Jack.

Jack scowled.

Teal'c lifted his right brow and tipped his head in Sam's direction. "You are needed, O'Neill."

Confused, Jack exhaled through his mouth and then heard Sam's unspoken plea.

'Please, Jack, I-I need you!' 

'_I'm here.'_

Removing his hat and shades he nudged Mark aside.

The two men shared a tensed look before Mark relented and he and Cassandra stepped away. Jack eased one arm around Sam's shoulder and drew her discreetly to him. When she stiffened he held even tighter.

"Let it go, Carter." He soothed her knotted back with a repetitive massage of his fingers. Still sobbing, she began to calm, but didn't lean into him as he would have liked.

"God . . .I miss him so much."

"I know." He rubbed her back in circular motions. "But we'll see him again."

"Yeah . . .we will." She choked out.

"Yeah." Jack struggled for more articulate words. Dang, he could never say the right thing, let alone know what she wanted from him.

Sam pulled back and gazed up into his confused brown eyes. "Look, sir," she sniffled. "I know you well enough to know you don't have a clue what to say. But you don't have to say anything." These words echoed from another Sam so long ago washed over him like a sweet rain.

"C'mere." He wrapped his arms around her trembling shoulders and drew her into him. Jack caressed her silky hair and then dipped his head to the pliant flesh of her neck and whispered his loving reassurances. Sam nodded against him and sobbed.

"Thank you." She sniffed.

"Now what for?" He cradled her face and looked lovingly down into her tear stained countenance, hardly the permissible comfort of a CO with his subordinate.

"Being here, taking care of everything. Taking care of me no matter who's curtailing our every move."

"Always." He smiled and then dabbed her pale wet cheeks with a handkerchief, before she blew her nose. "Besides I don't give a rat's butt." He eased his left arm around her waist and rocked her beside the grave. "Neither should you."

A few minutes passed and Daniel came up beside them. "Jack, Teal'c and I are heading back to my place for the day." Daniel touched Sam, but she was still lost in her grief in Jack's arms.

"Sure. Okay." He nodded. "I'll take care of Sam and Cass. We'll talk at the wake tomorrow? "

"Yeah." Daniel forced a teary smile. "At the wake." He reached out and hugged Sam, speaking quietly into her ear.

Jack watched their sweet sibling exchange. Daniel had been more of brother to Sam, than Mark ever would. When Teal'c came alongside and embraced her in his massive arms, Jack glanced over to find Mark more than aware of Sam's intimate relationship with Daniel and Teal'c, who was Murray today. Was that envy in the younger man's blue eyes? About freaking time he realized what he'd been missing out on with his kid sister. As Daniel and Teal'c turned to leave Jack's gaze wandered to where Cassandra stood being comforted by George.

"C'mere, Sunshine."

Cassandra entered his wingspread arms and Sam's hand found her daughter's as the three clung to each other. Having the two most important women in his embrace, Jack let his restrained tears fall. He didn't give a crap whoever saw.

As the graveside service broke up he sensed eyes watching them. For one, Davis stood beside General Hammond, who tipped his baldhead and smiled with approval. Davis did the same. Short on smiles Jack nodded before Davis walked back to his car with the general. At least he didn't have to worry about Davis squawking to the Pentagon. Of course, Hammond would crucify the man if he did.

Glancing to Sam's right, Jack met the concentrated gaze of her brother Mark, who smiled consent. Well, whatcha know.

And then, an unexpected intense rush of adrenaline shot through Jack's blood stream and nervous system. One that yelled, _"Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!" _Turning his head, Jack scanned the hilly cemetery and surrounding woods. Something stunk in Oz!

"That's it, old man. Ya know I'm here, don'cha? Just where's the question?" Poised on his belly, rifle resting beneath his chin he watched through the gun's scope, watched their graveyard pity party half a mile away. Upon seeing Sam in the general's arms, bile spewed up his throat and made him gag.

"Bang." He squeezed off the shot in his head. Yeah, just a practice run for now. Later, when they'd least expected it, especially when O'Neill wasn't looking. See, his employer needed O'Neill and Cassandra's bodies, brains and DNA. Pete planned to deliver them but in his own time. He had a plan, see. He'd win Sam back. He'd be the one to help her recover from losing her bogus husband and alien daughter. Yeah, Pete just loved when a plan came together and this would come together sooner than anyone expected.

Jack's sense of apprehension didn't leave. He put out a trace on Shanahan, but heard he'd taken a vacation. Yeah, right in Jack's backyard.

Three days later:

While Jack had cut the lawn, Mark left for the afternoon to give Jack and Sam time alone. Not that they jumped each other, hardly, but it gave them a few hours of normalcy as a couple. He actually felt married.

Meanwhile, Sam seemed more relaxed and her normal high energy self. Familiar with the grieving process, Jack knew they had a long road of highs and lows ahead of them. '_Them.'_ He liked that word. From here on, neither would ever endure such heartache alone.

As he finished trimming with the Weed-Wacker, Jack glanced in the patio window to see Sam dusting the fireplace mantle. His heart raced and his blood-flow went south. Wow! He'd no idea the sight of her being domestic could be such a turn-on. Maybe, he should cancel the housecleaning service? They'd have to talk about that.

After a long hot shower and change of clothes he emerged to find Sam puttering in the kitchen, cooking. Oy! Well, he wasn't going to rock the boat. He just hoped it wasn't Tuna Surprise—again. Before he could speak she opened the frig and handed him a beer.

"Thanks, Babe."

"Think nothing of it." She mimicked and slicked down his unruly gray hair with her fingers.

"I won't." He twisted off the cap and flipped it in a corner.

Sam's gaze of disapproval followed the cap's flight and crash landing.

"Um, I suppose some things have to change, huh?" He retrieved the cap and tossed it in the wastebasket.

"No." She laughed. "But the first time I step barefoot on one, it will."

"Warning noted, Colonel."

"Good, General." She snorted and turned back to a cutting board of vegetables.

Before she could lift the knife Jack drew her fast to him. Laughing, she snatched his beer and took a long swig, draining half it's contents.

"Hey," his brows met his hairline as he reclaimed the half-filled bottle. "Thirsty, are we?"

"Not really. Just always wanted to do that to you," she waggled her light brown brows and burped, then covered her mouth as another one broke through.

"Ms. Manners you're not."

"Sorry," she apologized through her hand.

"Don't be." He smiled, pried her fingers from her lips and taunted lustfully, "Well, there's a lot I want to do to you, Mrs. O'Neill." He made full body contact. Wow! No bra! His hand slid up beneath her t-shirt exploring her bare back that elicited mutual virile groans.

"Um, let me count the ways." Sam encircled his neck and rose on her tiptoes to kiss him. Their lips almost touched when . . .

The doorbell rang.

"Leave it," Jack growled against her mouth.

"Could be important," she held his roguish gaze.

"So's this." His hand tracked her ribcage toward her breasts.

A longer buzz.

"Jaack?" Sam sighed and buried her face against his chest.

"Whaat?" He fingered a silky strand of hair behind her ear and darted his tongue around her sweet flesh.

"Umm, whoa," she purred. "But the garage's open and my car's there."

"So?" He kissed the pulse point of her neck.

"So," she eased away, straightening her shirt. "Go answer your door."

"Fine! Hold that pose and whatever hot thoughts ya got."

"K." she smiled and turned back to cutting vegetables.

Jack yanked his red Canadian Hockey T-Shirt over his crotch and padded barefoot to the door. He then opened it to find Siler in civvies, his blue minivan parked in the driveway its open tailgate facing Jack's garage.

"Hey, Spanky, glad to see you. Whatsup? Wanna come in for a beer?" He hoped not.

"Afternoon, General." Siler saluted.

Jack returned the salute but muttered, "Not necessary, Siler. We're off duty and friends."

"Yes, sir." The tall thinner man smiled. "And thanks for the beer offer, but I've got plans with the wife and kids. However, General Hammond wanted me to personally deliver some stuff to you."

"Ah," Jack grew curious. "Stuff?"

"Um, if you'd give me hand, you'll understand, sir." Siler nodded toward his minivan.

"Yeah. Hold on." He slipped on his loafers and stepped out into the late autumn afternoon's sunshine. The van was loaded to the ceiling with white file boxes. Jack had seen his share of them in his military career. He glanced at the lids marked with a year, month and date. One in particular caught his eye, November 5th, 1997, his and Carter's first day at the SGC.

"Siler?" Jack drawled as his gut started to hurt. "What's with the boxes?" He tapped one of the lids.

"Tapes and DVD's, sir." Siler's tan darkened with color.

"Pertaining to?"

"Well, they're um, security tapes of you and—"

"Hi, Siler." Sam sauntered from the open garage door. Jack's gaze riveted on her breasts. She'd put on a bra. Dang!

"Colonel Carter." Siler acknowledged and motioned to salute until Jack tugged his arm.

"Down, boy." Jack chuckled.

"Yes, sir."

Her hands shoved into her black jeans Sam glanced past them. "What's in the file boxes, sir?"

"Apparently, something important enough for Hammond to have Siler deliver in person, on his day off."

"Oh," her curiosity peaked.

Siler flushed and cleared his throat. "Here." He yanked a letter from his pocket and gave it over to Jack. "That pretty much explains everything, sir." He reached for a box. "Where do you want these?"

"Um, the back wall of the garage, I suppose." Jack opened the letter while Sam peered over his shoulder. He couldn't help but deliver his condescending general's look.

"Sorry, sir." She motioned to back off, but he laughed and winked. "Chill, Colonel."

She grinned ruefully and looked back at the letter and both went silent.

Jack read out loud,

'_Jack and Sam,_

_Forgive me? These tapes should have been in your possession when I got assigned to DC last year. Considering the hell you've both endured this last year and half, I wish I had done this sooner, it might have saved you both heartache. Playing the devil's advocate, I believe experiences whether good or bad can only strength the love you two share. _

_These boxes contain seven years of security tapes regarding one Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter's Closet dates . . .'_ "Holy crap!" Jack spewed.

"Oh, man!" Sam expounded, "He knew?"

"Apparently," Jack coughed and glanced at Siler who stood holding a box and wearing a sheepish grin. "You too?"

"Yes, sir, ma'am. Besides, Walter, no one else knows, I swear! General Hammond and I went to great pains to make certain. After the first time . . ." He met Sam's flushed features and he rolled his shoulder, "General Hammond kept all the tapes at his house."

"Wow!" Sam leaned against the van and shook her head.

"Yeah." Jack gulped. '_What else was there to say?'_

He rested beside her and continued just loud enough for her ears, '"_Yes, kids, I know as does Siler and Walter, who took an oath to keep silent. As discreet and professional as you've been, this evidence could still fall into the wrong hands, especially Kinsey's. On the upside, none show you acting inappropriately, except for your entries into and exits from the maintenance closet and upon occasion each other's quarters. _

_To my knowledge this is the only evidence you broke the rule of fraternization and, even so, proving it would be hard. I now wash my hands of this responsibility and ask that your destroy said property as discreetly and quickly as possible. _

_Consider this a belated wedding present; Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan O'Neill, married on Chulak four years, two months, three weeks, and five days ago. _

_George.'"_

"Thanks, Uncle George," Sam sighed and dropped her head on Jack's shoulder.

"He's something else."

"Sure is." Siler stood before them with another bulging box.

Jack straightened to his feet. So did Sam.

"Look, Siler, about all this . . ." he said with open embarrassment. Sam knew she looked equally ashamed.

"Nothing to say, sir, ma'am. That's what friends do. Just one of the reasons you're in my will. You too, Colonel."

"I'm in your will, Siler?" Sam gasped.

"Yes, ma'am. You both get possession of my giant wrench." He chuckled.

"Wow!" They smiled with laughter.

"Now, off record, sir, ma'am."

"Sure," they said in unison.

"More arms would be nice." He motioned to the boxes.

"So what we going to do with them?" Sam chewed her lip and drew a full box against her chest, glancing at the date. 2001 – Chulak Wedding and Jack's birthday present-Elevator#3 –Homer Thong. '_Ouch! Serious blackmail material, Sam!'_

"Bonfire time," Jack chuckled. "About a week's worth."

"Two weeks," Siler snickered, "Got another vanload in my garage."

"D'oh!"

"Well said, General." Siler chuckled.

"Ya think!"

Still downloading the serious dirt on the tapes, Sam said none too happily,

"Well, I hate to ruin your bonfire, sir, but there's laws against burning plastic that emits toxic fumes, which VCR tapes do." Sam expounded with a frown.

"Um, well, then I guess we do some erasing. Hey, now I'll never have an excuse for not taping the Simpsons. Excellent!"

Sam shook her head and muttered beneath her breath, "I never thought I'd be jealous of a cartoon character."

"Hey, Siler, did I ever tell you that when I went Ancient, I put you in my will?" Jack patted the man's back before grabbing a box from the van.

"No, sir. Really?" His eyes lit up in excitement.

"Yeah, since the Simpsons came out on DVD, I just tape the recent episodes and then buy the newest DVDs. Which means you get my original video collection. Ten years worth." He crowed with pride.

"Te-n?" Siler stuttered and glanced helplessly at Sam. She smiled her condolences.

"Yeah, no one else at the SGC gets their wise candid wit, especially Homer's." Jack deposited the box on the garage floor. "But I know you do, Siler," he tossed over his shoulder. "Before you leave we'll haul up the crate from the basement, so you can take it home and start enjoying them."

"Crate, sir?" Sam swore the guy looked sick. Oh, yeah, green as an olive.

"Um, the wooden crate I borrowed from the SGC. You can return it, after you take out the boxed tapes. I think there's over 200 tapes."

The sergeant held back and gaped at Sam. "Ten years of the Simpsons?" He swallowed. "Twooo-hund-reed?"

"Oh, yeah." Sam winked. "And that's not counting the last six years, which is stored in his hallway closet. I'm sure you'll eventually get those."

"It's a joke like my giant wrench, right?" he nervously laughed while Jack carried off another box whistling the Simpson theme song.

"Nope." She shook her head and handed him a box. "General O'Neill's takes the Simpsons seriously." She leaned in and whispered in a conspiracy tone, "He thinks they're real and Homer should be President, you know."

"Holy smokes!" Siler looked like he'd eaten something nasty.

"Welcome to my life." Sam laughed and left the airman to contemplate how to explain his inheritance to his wife.

Over the next few days, Sam spent a lot of time with Mark, which created some lively discussions and arguments. Jack had never liked Mark, mainly because he'd felt Mark didn't give Sam the credit she deserved, and then there was Pete being Mark's friend.

Still, Jack would do anything for Sam and that included getting to know Mark better. He didn't care whether Mark liked or approved of him. Far as Jack was concerned Sam, Cassandra and Chuck were his main priorities. But he realized that Mark was part of Sam's family and that mattered. Now that the cat was out of the bag, Jack decided that for Sam's sake, he'd impress upon the younger man, how much he loved Sam and was in this relationship for the long haul.

Jack first proved his love by getting Presidential clearance to tell Mark about Jacob/Selmak and the bare essentials about the Stargate program. A week after the funeral, the night before Mark returned to San Diego and Jack and Sam were to head for the cabin, Jack had Mark sign a national security disclosure form. Jack couldn't stop grinning at Mark's shocked reaction while Sam explained the last eight years of her life, minus security and personal details, but included their marriage on Chulak and Cassandra and Chuck's conceptions.

Jack had wished Mark's wife, Connie, were here for this revelation. She'd been supportive of him and Sam from the start. He recalled their conversation at O'Malley's before Sam got engaged to Pete. The marriage counselor didn't mince words and had their dysfunctional relationship nailed down pat. However things had to stay this way for now but Jack hoped eventually they could tell Connie what Mark now knew.

Later that night, after Mark's initial shocked statements of disbelief wore off, Mark and Sam sat in the kitchen talking. Jack decided to give them space. He'd tried to do that a lot. Besides, he needed to do some private shopping for their fishing trip. He and Sam had agreed to drop Mark at the airport and leave from there. Just as he was slipping out the backdoor, Sam came up behind and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Hey there." She nuzzled her face between his shoulder blades.

"Hey back." He turned into her arms and brought her solidly against him. "I'll be back in a few. Give you guys time before he leaves tomorrow." Jack pressed a kiss to her forehead and hairline resisting her lips that would lead to something they couldn't finish, yet. Since their initial re-bonding, they'd not seriously kissed. Well, except for the mutual fondling incident in the kitchen the other day. As always, they remained good little soldiers.

"Thank you." She kissed his blue-shadowed jaw.

"For what?"

"Everything."

"Think nothing of it." He smirked.

"Becoming a pat exchange between us." She teased.

"That's what married couples do, right?" He waggled a brow with a mischievous smirk.

"Yep. And you're a very patient husband."

"Yeah, well John-John's impatience is about to detonate." He rubbed her pelvis with the evidence.

Sam cradled his face in her hands and kissed him firmly and longingly on the mouth. Before he could protest or reciprocate, her tongue performed a sneak maneuver and dipped deliciously into his open mouth and then out. "Soon," she murmured and then left his arms.

His jaw slackened, Jack watched her saunter off as she said over her shoulder. "Close your mouth, sir, or you'll attract flies."

Jack snapped his jaw shut and grinned at her sassy lip. Yeah, she was worth it!

Two hours later, Jack returned and sat on the patio's wooden railing strumming his guitar and nursing a beer, while Sam and Mark yapped. It had to be Carter genetics he reasoned. No wonder Cassie could outtalk anyone. She took after her mom.

Cass had returned to the University yesterday and he already missed her. As his thoughts wandered to their daughter, he yawned and stretched. Sam and Cassandra had talked everything out. However, being able to visit someone else's mind was proving a real pain in the rear, especially for a private guy like Jack. He figured he had to work out a better means of blocking his daughter's prying nose, not to mention Sam's.

'_Um, I heard that,'_ Cassandra muttered into his thoughts.

'_Hey, you're supposed to be sleeping, young lady.' _

'_My roomie's got a date and they're making out on the couch.'_

'_Cassandra!' _

'_Hey, chill, I'm being good. Just can't sleep listening to them slurping all over each other. Yuck!' _

'_That's it! First thing after we drive you back from the cabin you're getting your own place.' _

'_Dad?' _

'_What?' _

'_I'm fine. I like it here. But I sure could use a credit increase.' _

'_Yes, well, we'll talk it over later. Daniel and Teal'c will pick you up a week from Saturday 0600 hours sharp.'_

'Fine. So how's Mom doing?'

'_Still chewing the fat with Uncle Mark.' _

'_Geez, doesn't he ever shut up?' _

'_My exact sentiments.'_ Jack yawned in his head.

'_So?' _

'So what?' 

'_You two going to, um, well, ya know?'_ she giggled.

'No, Cassandra Fraiser O'Neill, I don't know. Care to enlighten me?' 

'_Well, gosh, golly, gee, Dad! You're married. I mean let's face it, once every twenty years is not going to get me any more siblings.' _

'_First off, you've got Chuck. And there's this little issue called the regs, Cass.' _

'_Yes a test-tube brother. Besides, the regs is a fricking little . . .'_

'_Cassandra!' _

'_Geez Louise, screw the regs for once, wilya!' _

'_Nah ah! And if you're going to become Air Force that attitude better change, Ms. O'Neill.'_

'_Well, I'm just saying, Dad.' _

'_Say goodnight, Cass.'_

'_Night, Dad, and—?'_

'_What!' _

'_I love you and Mom, always.'_

'_Hey, we love you too, Sunshine. Always.'_

Like Jack was thinking before being so rudely interrupted, he had to work on jamming his daughter's airwaves. Then again, he didn't mind. Just couldn't let Cass know that. Another yawn and he glanced through the patio's window. For cryin' out loud! Mark was still jawing and then Sam's cellular rang. Maybe, Cassandra had called to intervene. They'd only spoken over the phone for the nth time a few hours ago. If anyone had considered mother and daughter close before, they were now inseparable.

Sam and Cass had been doing some major bonding and Jack's heart soared every time he saw or heard them together. They really were mother and daughter. Cassandra maybe took after Jack physically but most of her mannerisms and brains came from Sam. Yesterday, the three went for blood tests and then had made a visit to an attorney to start the adoption process for Cassandra. Within a few months, she would legally be theirs. Strumming the guitar cords Jack contemplated crashing for the night. It was close to midnight and his old bones had been going non-stop since 0600 hours.

He glanced inside to see Sam's tall slender back to the window and Mark nodding in agreement to whatever she said. Since Mark's family had returned to San Diego three days ago, Mark had stayed with Sam, who insisted staying with Jack. And Jack not giving a plum nickel anymore didn't argue with his wife. Just in the last few hours, since Mark had accepted the fact they were married but upholding the regs, he seemed nicer to Jack.

Bad enough Mark had assumed Jack was humping his sister since the breakup with Pete, if not before. So Jack remained guarded. Right now, all he wanted was for Mark to retire to the guest bedroom so he could take Sam to his bed and get some much needed sleep. Really! They'd agreed! Besides, Jack had yet to get the go-ahead from George for them to unofficially—secretly get it on. And he feared that they might have a long wait on their hands. But dang, they were at least going to share the same bed and wake up together. In truth, he'd not slept this soundly, let alone, without nightmares in a good year. Being back in Sam's arms fixed that.

His fingers caressed the guitar strings as he started to play, '_It's Getting Better'_ by Mama Cass Elliot. It'd been two years since he'd played this song that mirrored his and Sam's wannabe love affair back then and now. He so minded waiting. He wasn't surprised when the patio door eased opened and Sam came to sit on the railing beside him. He turned to her and sang softly,

"_Once I believed that when love came to me It would come with rockets, bells and poetry But with me and you it just started quietly and grew And believe it or not Now there's something groovy and good 'bout whatever we got And it's getting better Growing stronger warm and wilder Getting better everyday, better everyday . . . _

"_I don't feel all turned on and starry eyed I just feel a sweet contentment deep inside Holding you at night just seems kind of natural and right And it's not hard to see That it isn't half of what it's going to turn out to be Cause its getting better Growing stronger, warm and wilder Getting better everyday, better everyday And just like a flower that takes time to bloom This love of ours is taking time to grow Ba da da da da da da da da da da da _

"_And I don't mind waitin', don't mind waitin' Cause no matter how long it takes The two of us know That it's getting better Growing stronger, warm and wilder Getting better everyday, better everyday – yeah . . . "_

"It sure is." Sam sighed and traced his left scarred brow with a gentle fingertip. "We've been together for always. I remember when you got this. I love how it became another part of the man I love."

He reached up, took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her fingers. "Samantha," he drawled staring deep into her beautiful smile. "I love you so much it hurts." He let her see and hear his love and desire in his eyes and voice.

"I know." Tears shimmered in her blue-gray eyes and he felt her tremor. "But we don't mind waiting, remember?" She chided with a teasing smile, that he hadn't expected, considering he could smell her heat and suspected that if Mark weren't here they'd be making out like two teens.

"We've waited eight freaking years, Carter. I want to play your body like this instrument." He snorted with mock humor, hugging the guitar as if it was her.

Even in the moonlight, he could see a flush warm her cheeks. "Um, well, hold that thought, flyboy." She rose and shyly gestured to the house. "I've got a few things to um, do."

"Ah, sure, okay." Confused by her actions, Jack shrugged as she hurried into the house and gave Mark a hug before she walked out of Jack's view. A moment later the patio door opened.

"Jack?"

"Mark?" Jack dropped his stocking foot from the adjoining rail and stood, careful to set the guitar on the patio table. He picked up his beer bottle by the neck and swallowed some of the warm alcohol.

The younger man glanced at the guitar. "Didn't know you could play let alone sing. Nice from what I heard. Not to mention appropriate lyrics. Sam got all teary-eyed, said something about it being one of you guys' songs."

"Yeah." Jack winced and looked away. He didn't deal well being sappy with Sam, let alone a guy. As if sensing Jack's discomfort, the younger man closed the glass door and smiled.

"Um, don't play often. Sam's my sole audience." Jack stuffed a hand into his jean pocket and shrugged.

"You're a humble man of many talents. I can see why Sam's nuts about you."

"Yes, well, don't tell Samantha, but between us, I think she's tone deaf." He continued to make light of his musical finesse.

"Promise." Mark laughed and then sobered. "Hey, she's tired and is heading for bed."

"Ah." Jack shrugged. "Well, we're all wiped. Been a long week. Bet you'll be glad to see Connie and the kids."

"Sure will." Mark's smile reached his green eyes. "Say, mind if we talk a moment?"

"No." Jack inwardly frowned. It wasn't like he had much choice.

"Um." Mark dangled his beer bottle. "Haven't said it before, but this is a nice house and yard. What is it, an acre or . . ."

"Three total. Own the woods and creek." He swept his hand toward the darkness behind them. "Course not the water rights, but um, yeah it's nice." He wondered where this was leading.

"Look, I didn't come out here to talk about your place, though I do like it. Envious in fact."

Jack snorted. He wondered how long he should let him sweat. Dangling the bottle's neck between two fingers, he took another swig of beer.

"You don't talk much?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, um, well Sam said not to take it personally, that you're pretty much an introvert."

"Was. Thanks to Sam, I've become a spontaneous extrovert. You should have known me before we met." Jack's lips twitched.

"Wow. That bad, huh?" There was a hint of amusement in the man's strained voice.

"Mute was more like it. But Sam has a way of um . . ." Emotion clotted his throat.

"Bringing out the best in you?"

"Yeah." He smiled tight. "She's amazing."

"Sure is. Look, Jack, even before you got me the security release, I've not been blind to what's gone down between you and Sam. You've been a constant through all these hard days for my little sister. Quietly standing in the shadows until she needs you."

"It's what I do best."

"You really love her."

"Yes." Jack met the other's acknowledged gaze. "Always have."

"And I love her too, Jack, and want the best for her."

"Then we've got something in common."

A silent moment of acceptance fell between the men as they evaluated each other.

"Jack, despite how hard Jacob's death has been on us, especially on Sam, I've never seen her happier."

Jack rolled the empty bottle between his hands, thinking it sad that Mark still couldn't bring himself to call Jacob, Dad.

"And you're the reason." He took a step forward extending a hand of offering.

"Ya think?" He hated that he'd let his sarcasm slip.

"Oh, I've known for sometime. And Jacob confirmed it on his last visit."

"You've gotta be kidding?"

"Why do you think I've been such an ass to you?"

"Just assumed you didn't like anyone military, let alone Sam's CO."

"That too. But I promised Jacob I'd try and fill his shoes annoying you."

"Then, give yourself a round of applause, coz you've been highly motivational." Jack snorted.

"Yeah, um, I'll be honest. I'm not keen with the age gap."

"Most folks aren't." Jack arched his aching shoulders. "But we're dealing and that's all that matters, isn't it?" he countered.

"Yeah, I suppose. Sam gets mad when I mention it and won't share how many years—"

"Thirteen years seven months four days nine hours and—."

"Oh, yeah, see what you mean." Mark grimaced with an apologetic tone.

"I wish the rest of the fricking world did." Jack shook his head. "Look, Mark, if I could make myself younger or Sam older I would. But that's not the deck of cards we were dealt. I wish everyone would keep their nosey snouts out of our lives!"

"Sorry, I just . . ." the younger man glanced nervously around. Jack wanted to give him quarter but found it hard. "Hey, I'm not out to break you two up. In fact, I think you really are the best man for Sam. Remember when we met four years back?" He scratched his jaw. "I think it was right after you two got illegally wed, huh?"

"Yeah, Sam threw me a birthday party the same weekend you were visiting her. Two parties actually." He grinned recalling the Homer thong she'd made him wear that day. "Um, you were saying." He gestured.

"I sensed something had changed in Sam. And then I began watching you two interact."

"That evident?" He wondered how many other folks saw through them.

"Probably not. You both maintained a professional coolness. But Sam's my sister and despite what you might believe, I know her pretty well. It was just little things. But with Sam it always is. Sort of like, if you blink you'll miss it. Looks, lingering touches and the fact she laughed at your jokes." Mark snorted.

"Yeah, still haven't figured that one out." He scratched his whiskered jaw.

"It because she loves you, Jack."

"Apparently." He set down his bottle and put his guitar back into its case.

"I know. So does Connie. That last time we were out together, pretty much cinched it for me. Seeing you together seemed right. Sorry, I should have said something then."

Jack sensed him struggling. "Hey, it's alright. Let's not dwell, huh?"

"Thanks, Jack."

"You're welcome." They held each other's gazes in mutual respect.

Mark yawned and drained his beer just as a minivan pulled in the driveway and a horn honked. "Guess that's my ride."

"Excuse me?" Jack glanced to his driveway and recognized the local taxi van.

"I booked myself into the airport hotel for the night."

"Why?" Jack frowned.

"Don't make me explain the birds and bees to you, Jack."

"Look, I said nothing's going to happen between us until Sam's out of my chain of command. So until her transfer goes through—"

"And you missed an important phone call from Uncle George." He laughed and entered the house with Jack on his heels.

"Did not. Got my cellular and pager." He patted both the devices attached to his belt.

"He called Sam direct. They spoke for several minutes." Mark snatched up his jacket and hurried to the front door where his luggage set.

"Why that little —"

Mark glowered over his shoulder.

"I was going to say something nice." Jack shrugged.

"Sure you were. The point is, she didn't tell me everything, but I got the gist of it. Which means I think you're both in the clear or got a temporary reprieve. Of which, I'd take advantage of ASAP. "

"Sweet." Jack rocked on his heels. "So you're leaving." He grabbed his brother-in-law's bag and opened the door. He didn't want to act too eager, but he was! Eager. '_Yeah, don't let the door hit you in the assets, Mark!' _

"Let's just say, I know why my sister got promoted to colonel and it's not necessarily for her brains. Man, she's got balls!"

"So she kicked you out?" Jack chuckled as they approached the taxicab and the driver took Mark's luggage and put it in the trunk.

"Yep." Mark scratched his jaw and met Jack's smile. "Hey, I don't want to rain on your parade, but I need to warn you." He cleared his throat and glanced at the taxicab.

"Pete Shanahan?" Jack's smile faded.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Let's just say our parting was such sweet sorrow."

"I'm sorry I ever introduced those two. He's called me at least a dozen times since their breakup, even been at the house bugging Connie."

Jack clenched his fists. "He hasn't threatened you guys?"

"Huh?" Mark's features tensed. "No. Although, he's making me nervous. He expected I'd take his side over this matter. I didn't and won't. Sam's all I have left, Jack. I'm not standing in her way from having what she's always wanted and apparently now has, you. But Pete's acting weird, like . . ."

"Three fries short of a happy meal?" Jack sniffed and scratched his jaw.

"Yeah. I'd never figured him for the lunatic fringe but I'm worried, especially with his marksmanship and martial arts skills. Besides if he knows what I know—"

"Don't fret the trivial. I'm already on it. Got friends keeping an eye on him." Jack patted Mark's tensed shoulder as the taxi-driver got into the driver's seat. "Pete so much as jaywalks, my foot will be so far up his smarmy ass he'll have three legs."

"Good." Mark opened the door and then turned back. "Welcome to the Carter family, big brother."

"Big brother?" Jack coughed.

"Yeah. Always wanted one. Just do me one favor?"

"Sure."

"Ease up on being such a jackass, especially around Sammy."

Jack smiled and realized that's exactly what Jacob would have said. "I'll try." He held the younger man's gaze as they came to an understanding. They liked each other.

_CHAPTER EIGHTEEN_

After fetching his guitar and locking up the house, Jack used the half bath, brushed his teeth, gargled and washed up. Basically he procrastinated going to bed with Sam. Soft music resounded down the hallway and the flicker of scented candles danced on the walls. Jack drew a nervous breath and poked his head around the open bedroom doorway.

Sam exited the adjoining master bathroom wearing nothing! Whoa Nelly! If she saw him, she didn't acknowledge him. Jack perched against the coolness of the hallway's wall trying to catch a breath and get a grip. His manhood certainly had. Down boy! Let's take this slow, actually let's find out where you stand, I mean, what George actually told her. There's no way Sam's request for a transfer to the Pentagon or Area 51 went through yet, or for that matter, that George retired overnight which meant Jack becoming his replacement hadn't been sanctioned.

Jack had a few things he wanted to finish up at the base before that happened. He had his own IOU's he intended to pay in full and losing rank as CO meant that wouldn't happen. Then Sam knew all that and how he wanted his own man in place of the SGC before he stepped down. So, how could they intimately be together without those things happening, well, at least, one of them?

"How long you going to hold up that wall, Jonathon?"

Dang! He straightened and walked casually into his bedroom correction, their bedroom. Soon as they were legally wed, they'd switch everything into joint ownership. More paperwork. Yuck. They'd decided Sam's house would go on the market and she'd sell her Volvo and maybe her Indian motorcycle. He felt no reason for her to do either, but she had this, '_let's start clean,'_ mindset. He could only imagine what she'd want him to junk. Strange, but it didn't bother him, long as he kept his Simpson collection.

"Jack!" Sam exited the bathroom to find him still fully dressed.

"Sorry." He gestured to open his shirt and his heart beat faster. She'd donned her Wonder Woman PJ top, its frayed hem grazing her slender thighs, allowed ample view of her shapely legs. He couldn't imagine anything sexier. She knew him too well. He wondered where he could buy her a new pajama set. He'd have to check E-Bay.

"Um, Mark's gone." He gestured awkwardly behind him and sniffed.

"Yep." She pulled the fresh bedding back, which caused the PJ top to hug her sexy derriere, leaving nothing to his imagination. Not that he wanted anything left, mind you.

"Soo. . .o," his voice dropped out from under him. He hated when that happened. He tugged off his socks, leaping from one barefoot to the other in the process.

"Soo. . .o." She turned and strolled toward him, swinging her hips.

"Hey, I bought you a new negligee." He waved his socks at the bed where'd he laid it out for her. Not only did it match her eyes, it was similar to the wedding gown she'd worn on Chulak. He'd spent four hours shopping for it.

"I know and it's beautiful, Jack." She trailed a hand over the sheer material as she passed it. "You remembered our wedding night, but—"

"But?"

"I want to save that for another time, like when we renew our vows here on Earth."

"Ah." He nodded as if he understood, but didn't. Women!

"Besides I like wearing this. Besides the jacket, it was the first real gift you gave me. These PJ's have been through all our ups and downs. Makes me feel a part of you." She took a tentative step nearer and popped open two buttons revealing cleavage.

Jack gulped. "You are a part of me, Sam." His feet refused to move, not to mention his mouth went rock dry, he felt feverish and needed a cold shower.

"Yes." She was just inches away now, reaching for him. "I am." Their fingers interlaced and Jack drew her hot yielding body against him. Still they didn't kiss, just stood staring into each other's eyes. Smoldering. Savoring every moment of just being alone in the house together. Their first time in over a week.

"Um, Mark said George called," he strangled out as he finger-brushed her fine, wet tresses.

"Yep."

"Care to share?"

"Umm." She nuzzled his neck. "Said you are base commander for another year."

"Crap! Oy! I mean—" He let go and took a step back. A string of expletives followed, "Ah, for cryin' out loud!"

"Jack?" she sounded far too calm.

"Whaat!" He dropped onto the bed and scrubbed his hands over his face and then into his hair.

"I thought we agreed you'd bring in your own man as well as a temporary CO for SG-1."

"I did. We did. I just thought it'd take less time. Like a few months tops and maybe a six week transition period."

"Hey." She knelt before him and placed her head on his lap. "Uncle George talked to President Hayes today."

"And that affects us how?" Jack stroked her head and she leaned in, winding her arms around his waist as he massaged her scalp.

"When you said you told Hayes everything, I thought you'd omitted our marriage on Chulak."

"Yeah, well this late in the game, I figured we had nothing to lose. Guess I messed up."

"No, you didn't." She lifted her head and smiled.

"Excuse me?"

"Here's the deal, General O'Neill."

"All ears, Colonel O'Neill." He drew her off the floor and into his lap.

"Hardly." She giggled as she straddled his lap and the evidence of his arousal.

"See, that's like a constant, if you haven't noticed." He smirked. "An often painful one might I add."

"I have." She kissed him softly as Jack leaned in for another kiss. "Don't you want to know what the deal is?"

"Nope. I've had enough deals and rules and am taking our daughter's advice—" His hands started to explore his wife's uncharted territory beneath her PJ top.

"Jack!" She grabbed his hand and pulled back. "This is serious."

"Yes, it is." She wouldn't deny him what he wanted most. Her.

"I know you, General Hammond, and the president plan to disband SG-1."

"Oops!" He pulled back and winced.

"Yeah. And I agree."

"You do?" His jaw slackened.

"You figured I'd feel differently."

"Well, I, um, it's your command, Carter."

"Past tense. My transfer came through to Area 51 so we can legally make love. And our Chulak marriage is recognized on Earth, but—," she said breathlessly.

"Whoa!" he asked in disbelief, waving a hand, "We can make love, but?"

"The deal is, we keep it quiet until my reassignment goes public and SG-1 disbands."

"We should tell Daniel and Teal'c in person." He nodded.

"Um, hope you're okay with it, but Hammond told them right after he called me. He had to, in order to get the paperwork going . . ."

"I see." Jack frowned.

Sam lifted his sulking face and smiled. "Hey, it's for the best, right? Daniel and Teal'c have lives too. We're all burnt out, Jack, especially Daniel. And it will enable Teal'c to spend quality time with Rya'c and Ishta and you know they want him on the Jaffa Council."

"I know. That's one of the reasons I wanted to disband the team . . ." he trailed off. "Guess we can all talk at the cabin, huh?" Although it still burned that he'd not been the one to personally tell his friends.

"Yes, we can, General." She nudged his sulking mouth with hers. "So for now only Daniel, Teal'c, Mark, George and—President Hayes know about us. If anyone else finds out, heads could still roll. Ours."

"And Pete?"

"Pete received a visit today from the men in black. He's so not talking."

"Then you mean we can make wild monkey love?" His shoulders lifted and he smiled roguishly.

"Yeah sure yabetcha!" Sam laughed and shoved him none too gently onto the bed.

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"Coz, once I start, there's no turning back and—."

"Shut up and kiss me, Scarecrow!"

"Sweet!" He rolled her over and began kissing her neck, collarbone and—, "Wait!"

"Whaat?" Sam glared up at him.

"Since I outrank you by a bunch, how come I wasn't contacted first?"

"Because George wanted to surprise you."

"Oh." He pouted, licking his lips.

"Surprised?" She dragged her tongue across his jaw.

"Oh, yeah!" He nuzzled.

Sam's hands reached to urge him closer.

"Wait! Hold that thought, position, um . . .hot erotic thoughts, etc. Do not move!" He pushed off, ran into the living room and returned to find that for once, his colonel did as she was told. She was still on her back, the top scrunched around her tummy, her breasts swelling between the opened buttons. Jack halted in mid-stride and his mouth dropped open. She was gorgeous!

"Um, I feel a draft, sir," Sam said in a sultry voice.

"Wow! Bet you, do, ma'am." He almost forgot why he'd interrupted their lovemaking. Sitting beside her, he pulled her upright, rearranged her pajama top and buttoned it.

"Jack?" She looked at him with confused disappointment. "Whatcha doing?"

"Making this marriage legit." He reached into his pocket and opened his closed hand.

When Sam looked down at the silver rings in his palm she gasped at him. "Holy Hannah! You remembered." She brought her fingers to her parted lips.

Without a word, Jack gave Sam his wedding band and then took her left hand and slipped the blue diamond ring onto her ring finger. "I Jonathon J. O'Neill take thee, Samantha Jean Carter, to be my lawfully wedded wife—again."

"Yes! Always, forever okay, Jack O'Neill." She gazed passionately at him and then with a trembling hand, lifted his long ring finger and slipped the silver band over his finger. She had to shove a bit, but it eventually eased over his knuckle and into place. "I Samantha Jean Carter, take thee, Jonathon J. O'Neill to be my lawfully wedded husband—again."

"Always, forever okay, Samantha O'Neill."

And he kissed her!

"Um, wait . . ." Jack murmured against her sweet moist lips.

"Jaacck!" she moaned in frustration.

"Nah, uh. This is important."

He leaned over her, opened the nightstand's drawer, took out his Bible and set it on the nightstand by the lamp. Sam watched his antics and as he turned back, she smiled and tears glistened in her eyes. And in that moment, Jack had no doubt that Sam had always understood him.

"You're a Godly man, Jack O'Neill."

"I try." He turned back to her and then urging her arms upward, yanked the PJ top over her head and stared reveling in the beauty of his wife. "C'mere," he beckoned.

She did. "Um, too—many—clothes . . ." Sam wiggled beneath him.

"Oh, yeah." Jack ordered blood to his brain, but found it lacking. Yet somehow buttons popped, a zipper zipped and pant's fell. Thirty seconds later they stood naked staring in awe of each other.

"Geez, you're so hot, Sam. I've been yours hook, line, and sinker since I first gazed into your beautiful eyes." Jack extended his hand and drew her down onto the bed beside him.

"Um, well like the song says, my eyes are beautiful because they're looking at you." She accepted her lover's invitation and joined him beneath the sheets.

"Don't go sappy on me here," he said in his predatory lisp.

"Only if you don't."

She aligned her hot sensual curves against him, extracting a guttural reply of, "Sweeeet."

And then it happened.

There were no military regulations.

No sir.

No ma'am.

No rules.

No worlds to save.

No enemies to fight.

No need to deny what God had _branded_ on their hearts so long ago. That Jack and Sam were _Chosen Hearts_. This time there was no need for foreplay or tender lovemaking. Lost in their passionate dance, Sam tried to reason what was repeatedly happening between them. Natural elements flashed before her eyes.

Fire!

Ice!

Wind!

Water!

Two opposite forces of nature coming together for one cosmic union of body, heart, mind, and soul! The four elements! A natural union of combustible fluids fused into the most beautiful cosmic explosion she'd ever experienced in her life! Somewhere during their union she cried and wept for joy. So did Jack!

Minute's later, limbs entwined and still joined as one, they tried to rationalize what had happened. Sam tried to lift her head, but it refused to move. She suspected she'd died and gone to Heaven. Eventually she found her voice.

"Jaa-ck?"

"Umm?" He kissed the tears from her cheeks.

"Wh-hat just happened?"

"Danged if I know, but I sure wanna do it again."

"Me too." She snickered against his sweat-dampened hair.

Three hours later, face down in her pillow, Sam felt a familiar nudge and pried open one eye. Jack was tapping her bare back.

"Please, not again, Jack? I need sleep, lots of sleep." She yawned and eased onto her side to face him.

"Yeah, me too," he said through a sigh and pressed a large glass of cold orange juice to her dry lips. "Thought ya were thirsty."

"Oh, um, yeah." She propped her head on her elbow and drank as he held the glass. She drained it dry. "Thanks." She watched him look into the empty glass and frown. "Sorry."

'_That's okay I already drank half a gallon.'_ He burped. Sam smirked at her husband's on cue ability to pass gas from either end.

"Half a gallon!" She stared.

Jack's mouth loosened at the hinges. "Um, Sam, I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you said you already drank half a gallon."

"No, I thought that."

"Yeah, but I heard you even though you weren't directly addressing me."

"Wow, first Cassandra, now you! It's going to get pretty crowded in here."

"Holy Hannah!"

"Yeah." He set the glass on the bedside table, got back into bed, eased along her back and nuzzled her shoulder.

When she didn't answer he asked, "You okay with this, Dorothy?"

"Think so. I mean you said it could happen. Must be all the amalgamation of our DNA." She said with a smile, then, "So what am I thinking?"

"Um I got nothing." He tapped his head as if it were empty.

"Cool. I wasn't thinking."

"Why do I find that hard to swallow?" he said against the curve of her neck as they spooned.

"Okay, I'm talking to you in my head now . . ."

"Wow! You had an orgasm when I kissed your—"

"Yes!" She giggled.

"Excellent!" Sam heard the pride in his voice knowing his dimples tucked deep in his boyish grin. She grinned too.

"Quite the night, huh?" He still sounded like a crowing roaster.

"We could get published in the next, _'Ripley's Believe it or Not' _edition.

"Cool beans!" He chuckled and then turned serious. "Um, you sore, Babe?"

"If this had been anything close to what is considered normal in human lovemaking, I would be in the ER and swearing off sex for life. But strangely no, I'm not sore, just tired. And you?"

Jack nudged her. "As you can tell, John-John's slowing down, but not hurting at all. Weird."

Sam flipped over and kissed his shoulder. "Jack, this is incredible, unbelievable, it was more than great sex—it was—I couldn't stop coming or wanting you anyway I could have you, feel your seed spilling into me. And it's as if you knew what I wanted when I wanted it, where I wanted you to touch me, kiss me—." She let out a breath.

"Wow! Keep blathering like that and we're never going to get to sleep." He rubbed against her.

"Better than my techno babble, General."

"That doesn't deserve an answer." He chuckled. "And you seemed to know exactly what I liked and wanted. Coz, I so am not complaining."

"Ditto." Sam pressed her hips against him and took inventory. "Man, this is like one never-ending erotic movie, but with such emotional linkage it's beyond intellectual capacity."

"Ya think?" He nibbled her collarbone.

"Actually . . ."

"Don't answer. Coz, I don't want this passion to ever end, wife." He cradled her beautiful face in his hands and swore there was glow about her in the breaking dawn light. "Besides we've got years to make up for. I may not be Doctor Ruth, but what's ever happened between us is not normal at least among the norm population of earth. Then the national average musta jumped a few points."

"Me thinks we're Ancient, Jack."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, but it's a bit spooky, not to mention our ability to talk without words. Besides after all those weirdoes put Daniel through, I don't want to be a part of their social club dinning experience."

"Me either. But I don't mean how they are now. I mean before they ascended. Somehow, because of your last download we've evolved, changed at least with each other."

"You realize it started long before that?" He kissed the tip of her nose. "I believe that even before Nirrti abducted us we were bonded by Heaven. But after I had the first download, things intensified between us, which lead to our wedding night on Chulak."

"Yeah, about that." She blushed slightly and nuzzled his chin.

"Samantha?" he drawled out her name. She trembled and he held her to him, his calloused hand skimming her waist and back, urging her closer as he lifted a leg and pinned her hip with his.

"Jack, we swore we hadn't consummated our vows, but . . ."

"I know, Sam." He breathed out against her cheek, his breath sending her over the edge with need for him, again.

"You do?"

"Men have tell-tales signs too. Plus poor John-John felt like he'd been screwed six days from Sunday. He was raw from too much friction."

"Oh, um, me too and well, your scent was everywhere on me, and I mean everywhere." She reveled in the awareness that exact manly fragrance permeated from her pores. She had truly been _branded_ as Jack O'Neill's life mate, wife and lover.

"Sam, if we're coming clean about the past there's something else I must admit."

"More?" she sounded incredulous. She couldn't imagine what else he'd not told her.

He reached over and turned her face to his. "It's not that I meant to keep it from you, Babe. I was confused, but I've since figured out the why and how. Actually it's so obvious now that—"

"Jack!" She nipped his left nipple.

"Ow!" He snatched her deadly fingers and brought them to his mouth.

"Sometimes, you're worse at babbling than me. Your point is?"

"Hey . . .yes . . . well, see there's a few past issues."

She nodded urging him on.

"It has to do with our first-time on Nirrti's ship and how we became partially branded."

"Okay."

"Well, after that, I had problems making love to Sara. In fact I still wonder how she ever got pregnant with Charlie. That's why we never had more kids."

"But you said your sex life with her was awesome!"

"Yeah, it was until you and I got together, of course at the time I was clueless. I did what I could to keep her satisfied, but I myself couldn't— And for the longest time, I believed it was due to my tortured imprisonment in Iraq."

Sam's mouth dropped open. "Are you saying?"

"Yeah. Go figure. I went impotent." He closed his eyes. "Except apparently whenever I was with you. But I assumed it was because Nirrti drugged us, her version of Viagra."

"How'd Sara handle it?"

"Like a sweet devoted wife. She never gave up trying to help me overcome the problem, but even before Charlie died, it was forcing a wedge between us. Pride cometh before the fall."

"But what about and Kynthia and Laira?"

"Nothing. Oh, I got excited, but couldn't penetrate. I actually didn't know about Kynthia until she confessed that I'd kissed her and said your name a lot but as far as consummating the wedding cake thingy, it just didn't happen. That also explained when I surrendered to being with her, but I still couldn't um," he looked away. "As for Laira, I was pretty tipsy, and the next morning she suggested we try again as I didn't perform to her satisfaction, but I couldn't, and blamed it on my humungous hangover."

"And you never told me." Sam felt angry and hurt, but knew he'd have a good reason for not telling her.

"No. I knew you'd be glad that I didn't have sex with them, but male pride wouldn't let me." He closed his eyes with open regret. "Until tonight, the only way I could climax was fantasying about you. I'm sorry, Sam."

Sam reached over and traced a finger from his left dimple to his turned down mouth.

"I understand. It just makes me love you more. I was in the same boat. You were and still are the only one who stokes my fire. And despite that Jonas was a lunatic it explains my inability to be intimate with him and why I wasn't a virgin. So Daniel was right. We'd been branded since Nirrti abducted us."

"Yep, semi-branded—like one honking, long engagement, huh?" He sighed, caressing her cheek.

"Now what?"

"We don't dwell on the past. We move forward together. I'm lining up my replacement and will accept the post as head of Home World Security. It will mean a lot traveling but I don't want you to give up your military career, Sam. If you're still game, we'll keep the house. I don't want to make a permanent move to Washington. I honestly hate that town."

"I know. So why don't you retire, it's what you've been wanting all along, right?"

"Yeah. But four more years and I'll have thirty-five years in. Which will mean a nice pension to raise a family. I want to be home with our kids, Sam. I messed up with Charlie, and we've both missed out with Cassandra and Chuck."

"You've thought this over?"

"Yeah. But if you'd rather I retire now, I'm just saying."

"No. Long as it's what you want, I'm happy." She kissed his jaw. "But I'm still going to take the post as head of research at Area 51. I can do a lot more good there. It also means my first three months will be spent in DC taking several mandatory courses at the Pentagon before going to Nevada."

"And are you sure you want this?" He tipped her chin and gazed into her eyes.

"Not unless the newly appointed CO of Home World Security doesn't want me around while he's transitioning?"

"I want you anyway I can have you, Samantha O'Neill. I just want you to be content. I know how much you love leading SG-1."

"Listen up, I am happy! And to be honest, the last few years in the field have taken their toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. With Anubis and the Replicators gone, I can finally take a breather. I need a break from going off world. Washington and then Area 51 will be the diversion I need, plus we can live together like a real couple for a while. Why we can get an apartment or townhouse and umm, play house." She dragged her teeth along his jaw, while her hands went exploring.

"Doh!" Jack captured her hands, but didn't pull them away. "I just wanted to be sure. And then there's the future Carter-O'Neill rug rats, one particular named Grace." He winked. He thought to see tension cross her face, before she smiled. He wondered if she knew what he knew.

"When I get pregnant, I'll be straightforward with my CO, besides I should be able to work until full-term."

"Agreed." He swept his tongue into her ear extracting a low keening noise from her throat. "So um, think we can keep up the charade at base?" He challenged.

"Have to. Although Walter and Siler got us figured out."

"They've known for years especially Walter. He's literally a royal pain in my assets."

Sam laughed.

"What?"

"You and your clichés."

"Well, never used them until I met you."

"Umm, I'm not tired anymore." Sam glanced out the window as the first rays of dawn broke through their window.

'Me either," his sexy lisp was silenced by her greedy lips before he found his breath, "Wanna go fishing in the shower and then at the cabin?"

"Ah huh."

He threw back the covers and holding on, rolled her over and off the bed. Weak-kneed they stood together.

"Jack?"

"Err-um." He started kissing her neck and shoulders.

"Remember I said we had to remain incognito on duty."

"Uh, huh." He was kissing and nibbling his way down her arm and she figured he'd head for her hips next, then again maybe not. He always surprised her, which she loved.

"And Uncle George knows we'll behave ourselves—"

"But?" He pulled back and she watched his mouth iron out and the stress line between his brows track deep. "I hate butts, Sam, except yours of course." He gently pinched her, and then scowled bringing her back to their discussion at hand.

"Well," she hedged, "Um, he ordered Daniel and Teal'c to join us at the cabin before Monday."

"Ah, for cryin' out loud!"

"Yeah, that's what I said, respectfully, of course. George doesn't want any of this biting us in the assets. So until my transfer officially clears we need to be chaperoned."

Jack snorted. "This so can't happen again. We're being watched by the bed patrol."

"No. I didn't say that. We can make love whenever the opportunity presents itself, and it's important that no one see us leave town together, let alone for extended periods without Teal'c, Daniel or Cassandra in tow. And we can't go public about her until—"

"Yeah, yeah. Gotcha!"

The phone rang. They turned and looked at it. Jack shrugged and started kissing Sam's neck.

"Ja . . .ck."

"Ah, dang!"

SGC:

In her lab Sam, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c watched a screen showing the video recording from five thousand years ago. Jack sat at Sam's work counter while the others stood behind him.

Next to Jack, nestled inside a wooden box of packaging, set the ZPM. Teal'c's half eaten donut rested beside the small crate.

On the video Daniel urged, "Uh, Jack, you should say something here."

"Um, college football is played on Saturdays; pro on Sundays; and there are no fish in my pond . . .at all . . . where I fish." He turns to the other two, making eye contact with Sam. "Uh, I think that covers it for me."

Daniel turned the video off.

Sam looked at Jack. "Is that correct?"

"If it is, we don't do anything?" He shrugged.

"Apparently nothing we did affected the timeline," she answered with an acceptable expression.

"But we didn't _do_ anything." Jack emphasized.

"Not yet. Apparently we were going to, two weeks from now, but now we don't have to."

"Excellent!"

Daniel and Teal'c nodded to each other and walked away.

"That's it! I like it!" Jack announced with a wide smirk. This meant they were going fishing!

Sam reached for the crated ZPM. "Okay, I'm gonna get this up to the lab for analysis."

"No! I'll take it." Jack practically yanked the box from her. "There's a whole room full of geeks up there just dyin' to get their hands on this. You've got _packin'_ to do!" As he passed her, he bumped his hip against her derriere.

Sam jolted at his suggestive touch and smiled wide. Yeah, they were so going fishing!

_CHAPTER NINETEEN_

Alternate Timeline: Ancient Egypt:

Inside a softly lit tent Jack and Sam came up for air.

"Holy Hannah!" Sam held the light blanket to her heaving breasts.

"You can say that again!" Jack poked his head out from under the covers and grinned at the beautiful, breathless blonde snuggled in his bare arms. "If I didn't know better we just made wild passionate love . . .twice, thrice!" He held up five fingers.

"We did, silly." She tweaked his whiskered cheek.

"That's a first for me. Never, ever have I managed to keep going like that, not that I'm complaining mind ya. No sirree."

"Me either." She giggled and nipped his chin with her teeth.

"Hey, watch what ya're biting!" He teased and yanked her closer. "I've never um, well, not that . . . I bedded anyone that quickly. Actually that was the first in very long time."

"Me too." Her eyelashes concealed her blue gaze. "I can't believe we did this. I mean we kissed twice and the next thing we're . . ."

"Hey, you don't think its coz we thought we were about to die do ya?"

Sam chewed her lower lip. "Um, well, it definitely accelerated our spontaneous conduct."

'_Oh.'_ He mouthed. "Um, you regret this do ya, Carter?" He gestured between them and winced.

"Ask me in about fifty years, Colonel." She dragged a fingernail along his bare chest, making him shudder.

"Well, I can do that." He chuckled and trailed his calloused hand along her slender naked back urging her closer, if that was possible, reveling in her sensual curves. "You're so hot, Sam," he murmured against her.

"That's got to be the sexiest thing any man's ever said to me."

"Really?"

"Um, the moment you said that I was yours."

"That easy, huh?" he quirked a pondering brow at her.

"For you, yes."

"Sweet." Her flipped her over on her back, straddled her and went for home base, again.

Breathless and a thousand heartbeats later, "We can't go back home can we?" she broke into their lustful lovemaking, and looked up at him, sadly.

"Huh?" he redirected his blood flow northward and grimaced. "Samantha, you said we might not even exist back there. Let alone here. That's why we must make each moment count, which if you hadn't noticed, I was trying to do." He pouted.

"Like dragging me out of the shuttle in the middle of a mind-blowing kiss and then ordering Daniel to pronounce us husband and wife?" she sighed against his chest.

"Yeah. I'm sorry it wasn't a minister, but . . ."

"Hey, I'm okay. Long as we're married nothing else matters."

"Ah, shucks. Really?" He smiled into her shimmering blue eyes.

"Yes." She kissed him, and then shifted onto her elbows, giving him a view of what was beneath him. "Um, Jack?"

"What?" He'd licked his lips in appreciation of the view and returned to nibbling her shoulder blade.

"When did you first like me?"

"I believe the word is love and lusted, and not necessarily in that order." He snickered. "But I liked you when you'd tried to save our assets and cloak the ship."

"That was today!" She pinched his right nipple.

"Ow!" He flinched, but grinned.

"Okay, when did you first love—lusted for me?"

"When you showed up at the marina. Why else do you think I asked if you and Daniel were a couple? "

"Wooow! That's fast."

"Yeah. Even when I acted like a jerk, you were persistent and adorable, especially when you got mad and muttered about wasting your frequent flyer miles. I wanted you right then and there. And you?"

"Same here. Something about your scruffy appearance and well, I love men in flannel."

"Get outta here! Seriously?"

"Yep. When I first saw the other you on the video with the other me, I got flustered because I felt these overwhelming emotions for you. Instant sparkage. Weird, huh?"

"Nah. When Hammond showed me the video I sensed the same thing between them/us. And after hearing their/our history with that entire Nerdi—"

"Nirrti." She corrected.

"Whatever. And their abduction, forced mating and bonding thingy."

"Which we just experienced."

"And will again and again." He sighed out finding the soft spot of her neck he loved to worship. "The point is we are meant to be together. Sam. I can't imagine not having you like this right here and now. Too bad they had all those military regs to keep them a part so long and then got executed. At least, they loved and died together."

"But did they?"

"What?"

"Die? I mean if we corrected the timeline, then they won't go back in time. It'd just make sense right? Which means that they'd be happily married like Daniel said."

"Well, there's that. A bit odd how Daniel just vanished before our eyes right after we said the, I do's and then Teal'c moments later."

"Yeah. I think because this Daniel came from the original timeline, but it doesn't explain Teal'c disappearing and not us."

"Maybe coz like Daniel said we're chosen." His right hand eased between them and headed southward.

"Could be," she grew more serious and nibbled her lip.

"Now what?" Jack grumbled as she evaded his exploring touch.

"When I saw them/us on that video you were so cute, saying, _'There are no fish in my pond."'_

"Hey, there too are fish in my pond. Actually it's a lake." He bragged. "And there's a cabin with a hundred acre woods." He kissed her collarbone and headed due south. She let him. Cool!

Sam snickered then went serious. "Jack?"

"What?" He carped from her navel.

"My point is, Daniel told us about ourselves in the alternate universes and we were always in love with each other, in one we were engaged, another we were married and—"

"Coz, we had universal sparkage?" He waggled his brows and then kissed her hip.

"Yeah. It's like a higher power ordained us to be together, no matter what dimension we live in. Do you realize the cosmic relevance of that same scenario—?"

"Auck!" He flagged a hand. "Time out! Stop thinking so much, wilya?" He kissed some tender flesh and heard her breath hitch.

"Yeah." She easily flipped him onto his back taste testing the salty flavor of his shoulder.

Jack's eyes rounded up at her aggressive move. He liked it!

"And now because of Daniel we know it was true. We, Jack and Sam were and are passionately in love, got married and had a daughter named Cassandra and a son named Chuck, but not necessarily in that order. And oh, then there's my dreams about Grace, but Daniel never mentioned her." She made a quirky expression. Man, Jack loved when she scrunched up her face.

"Grace? You saying you've dreamt about a little girl named Gracie!"

"Holy Hannah! You too?"

"Yeah. She's got long curly brown hair and the biggest blue-gray eyes—"

"Wow!" Sam gulped and made a face. "This is just so awkward."

"Yeah it's getting there, again. Well, all things considered, I'd say we got the better deal, Mrs. Jack O'Neill." He captured her face and kissed her deeply.

"Um, really?" she murmured into his open mouth.

"Yep. Coz we are also passionately in love, got hitched and our kids will grow up knowing their parents."

"Yeah sure yabetcha." Sam agreed but before surrendering to her husband's seductive kisses and caresses, she sighed against his predatory kiss. "I hope no matter how this timeline plays out we're happy, Jack."

"Um, me, too, Sam. Now how about showing me what happens when two hot, combustible bodies collide?"

She did!

MINNESOTA: Jack's cabin – nighttime.

Thanks to the Asgard transporter, no one saw Jack and Sam leave town. Jack's idea! And they managed to have an entire week alone before Teal'c and Daniel were to show. Not to mention that Cassandra and George Hammond were to arrive for a few days later that week.

One beautiful night after making love beneath the stars they huddled on the porch swing under a patchwork quilt. Still joined as one, Sam straddled his lap while he cradled her against his swift beating heart and sighed into her mouth with a delicious kiss.

In the background a Shania Twain CD played softly.

"Um, you okay?" she murmured as his mouth went for another part of her anatomy.

"Excellent!" He dragged his tongue along the nap of her neck, licking a trail of perspiration, like a thirsty man. "Just can't get enough of you."

Sam snuggled closer. "Well, I think John-John has."

"Nah uh, a little downtime and he'll be reporting for duty per usual, Colonel." He reached down and dragged a fingertip across the pad of her barefoot that stuck out from the blanket. Sam shuddered. Yes, he'd found one her sweet spots. "Who'd of thunk you had a foot fetish, Carter."

"Until now, no one."

"And that you get horny when I suck your digits."

"You really are a dirty old man, General O'Neill."

"Yes, I am, and proud of it. And like you're complaining." He snorted with his lopsided smirk.

"Me? Complain? Never, ever, sir."

"Sir?" He chuckled and pulled her closer into him. "Are you flirting, Colonel?"

"Ya think."

"Nice."

But she could tell by his labored breathing he wasn't up for round three—yet. Sam smiled in contemplation. Just weeks ago calling him _sir _had been a bittersweet exchange. Now, here in their _Land of Oz_, a land of non-ending lovemaking and frequent wild monkey sex, they got turned on with Sam calling Jack, sir or general, and him calling her, Carter or colonel and even captain.

In this private world neither took their military titles seriously because titles of protocol were a part of who they were. They'd come to terms with their past. The wise and foolish paths they'd chosen to walk alone had been necessary to come to where they were now. Together. Nothing else mattered.

Sam opened her weary eyes and sighed at the relaxed countenance on her husband's face. She'd rarely seen him looking this content. Being at the cabin helped. No wonder he came here whenever he had the chance. They were twenty plus miles from nowhere. Yeah. This was heaven on earth.

Sam lightly trailed a fingertip across the angular plains of his face. Jack called it a roadmap. She called it a ruggedly handsome face of character that had seen and experienced pain and joy over the last ten years. She'd often wondered how many of those lines she'd created. Sam sealed her eyes tight to get a firmer hold of her emotions, before he sensed her self-reprimanding thoughts and lectured her about letting go of the past. He was far more sensitive to her thoughts and feelings than she was to his. But then, he was the true Ancient, while she was more a byproduct of branding with him.

Emotions back in check she glanced at him. The stress of his military post seemed to have vanished the last few days. Right now he looked a decade younger, the indent between his brows had smoothed out, the crinkles beneath his beautiful brown eyes lightened and his dimples were more boyish, like when they'd first met. There were many things she'd gotten to experience for the first time. The beauty of his hearty rich laughter when he'd poured ice down her back. And later outside, when he'd fallen asleep naked on his stomach and she'd shot the lawn hose at his butt cheeks. Needless to say she ended up the wetter of the two, but it'd been worth it. Especially when he'd made love to her on the cool wet grass.

"Wanna make babies, Mrs. O'Neill?" he'd seductively lisped against her collarbone as he pinned her to the ground.

"Yes," she'd breathlessly answered, trying to not think about the fact she might never again carry his child. Wanting to tell him her secret. But this wasn't the time or place. Sam remained a bit insecure in their relationship, fearing someone or something might tear them a part. And she wasn't going to let her suspected infertility be one of them.

That issue aside, here, there was no discussion about Pete, Kerry or even Sara. If Sam had been concerned about anyone intruding upon her happiness with Jack it would have been Sara. But last she'd heard Sara had quietly remarried and Jack only found out after the fact. What Sam had feared most was comparison in love making. Sam was no fool. The first few days she had considered herself inadequate and definitely inexperienced. But she'd read enough Cosmo and naughty movies to figure a lot out. And Jack quickly learned she didn't lack imagination.

Neither did he. They may have been primarily celibate, but when Jack said he'd spent most of those nights inventing ways to seduce and bring her to orgasm, he wasn't joking. She had no idea the human body was capable of so many contortions, especially Jack and his bad knees. Which thanks to going Ancient were holding up better, than ever.

Holy Hannah! Their honeymoon as they called it, had proven to be the most amazing experience ever, including anything they'd done together at the SGC and off world. They realized there was so much they still didn't know about each other, much of it being shared in their heads. Both being private in nature proved a challenge regarding when to enter or stay out of the other's thoughts. Which made for some lively conversations both verbal and silent.

Sam rested in his strong lean arms, his left hand caressing the swell of her left breast—the other her thigh. Um, yes, Jack O'Neill was definitely a breast or as he called himself, a tit and legman, and in that order.

"I can't get pregnant, Jack." She'd no idea what prompted her to say it, but she had.

"Know that." His eyes fluttered open and he smiled.

"You—you do?" She froze in his embrace, but Jack's right hand caressed her trembling spine.

"Yeah. Remember when we rescued you from Fifth, and Thor ran a diagnostic scan to make sure you were okay?"

She nodded.

"Well the scan showed the blockage at your cervix. Thor said it's a combination of organic and artificial fibers. He figured Fifth did it on purpose, coz he had some warped plan to create his own version of Sam/Fifth kids."

"Holy Hannah! Does this mean there's Replicator material or nanites inside of me?"

"No. Neither Thor nor Loki could detect anything alien. In fact, it appears to be a plastic meshing. Seems Fifth really cared enough to not put anything harmful in you."

"And why didn't you tell me?" She turned to pull away, but Jack held her firm and looked into her angry gaze.

"Because I love you, Sam. And you'd been through so much already I wanted to wait until the right time. Thor extracted a sample tissue and put Loki on it. So far I haven't heard anything. The only good news is it's not life threatening, just blocks sperm from getting to your egg-eggs, however that works." He flinched.

"Man, oh, man!" Sam began to shake with anger.

"Sam?" He shoved upright in the swing, gripping her shoulders and looking at her. "Talk to me."

"I'll be okay." She exhaled a breath and met his worried gaze.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Now I am." She kissed his cheek and held on tight. He hugged her tighter.

"So glad _'it'_ and Replicarter got recycled." Jack scoffed.

"And meanwhile Doctor Brightman and the base gynecologist are going nuts trying to figure out what's wrong."

"Did they suggest anything?"

"Laproscopic surgery. And since they've never seen anything this extreme, they're jumping at the opportunity to play around with my reproductive organs, not to mention that when Re'tu Mother took an egg that messed things up too. In fact we thought that was the entire problem. But I had decided to wait until after the um, wedding."

"It might be a good idea to have the surgery now. I know this is difficult for you, Sam, but please be patient. We'll figure it out."

"And if we don't? If the surgeon can't remove the blockage or Loki can't pull a brilliant idea out of his gray butt?" she challenged.

"We'll deal," Jack stated bluntly.

"Easy for you to say," she sighed out.

"No it isn't. I realize this is emotionally painful. Not to mention—Oy, hum, does intercourse hurt?"

"No. If it did, you wouldn't get within a foot of me, Mr. Ancient sex maniac."

He let out a relieved sigh. "Cool. Coz, I don't ever want to cause you pain, Sam."

"I know. Then you're okay with the fact I might never have more children?"

"Never say never Sam! And no, I'm not okay with that possibility, but then I didn't marry you to be a dad again. Besides we have two wonderful kids."

"I know, but I . . ." She looked off wistfully.

"Want a normal child?"

"Yes. Why would God show us Grace and then let this happen?"

"Don't know. There's a lot of things I'd like the answers too, Sam. Guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Sam nibbled her lip and nodded, but figured they were already at that bridge? Jack shut down, held her close, then closed his eyes resting his head against the swing's back. Relaxing against his chest she tried not to dwell on the matter that had been pressing her heart for so long.

At some point she stretched slightly and glanced at husband. His eyes were open and she noted the concentrated expression of his lean face. Jack's head lulled against the swing, his eyes staring overhead at the canopy of trees and stars.

"Whatcha looking at?" she mimicked his Minnesota accent and recalled the first time he'd asked her that, peering through her magnifying glass in her lab six years ago. Even then, when there'd been so much keeping them a part their bond remained strong.

"Um, just the stars and thinking."

"Oh! Danger, danger, Will Robinson!" She giggled.

"Funny." He sniffed. "Actually, after that serious baby talk, you'll probably laugh if I tell ya," he sounded intense. His other arm snaked about her waist and he drew her into him. He blew out through his lips as if frustrated.

"Never." She lifted her head off his shoulder and caressed his blue-shadowed jaw. "I only laugh when you're funny, Jack."

"Guess so. Ya know no one but you laughs at my jokes."

"That's because I get your jokes. Always have. We have the same dry wit. Must be the branded thingy." She smiled, but noted he wasn't.

"Yeah, whatever." His jaw clenched tight, the cleft between his brows turned into a crater.

"Oh, boy. Now I'm worried." She straightened and tugged the quilt up to her neck and shivered, looking at him.

"Wanna go inside?" He touched her trembling shoulders.

"No. I wanna know what's gotten you pucker-browed, Jack O'Neill."

"And you won't let it rest until I do, huh?"

"Nope. I could always visit your head and find out myself, but I'd get lost in there." She taunted.

"Now there's a novel idea."

"Well, then, there's that." She picked up his limp right hand and began tracing each of his long slender fingers, then brushed them against her cheek.

"Stealing my lines, woman." His fingers caressed her earlobes.

"Get used to it." She turned his palm over and bringing it to her lips kissed it, tasting them both on his skin. She felt him shudder. They were so connected it was scary. She suddenly suspected that's what this was about. They were no longer the individual beings Jack and Sam. They were one entity in unique and frightening ways. They were Ancients.

"So?" She ventured with an unwavering look.

"So." He met her deep observant gaze.

"You scared too?"

"Huh?"

"Are you scared about what's happening to us, between us? That we know each other's thoughts and feelings? That we can no longer be alone?"

"Wow!" Jack straightened up and the swing swayed on its creaking hinges. "That's what I was going ask you. I know how private you are, Sam—"

"No. The main thing I've been private or protective about are my feelings for you, Jack. You're the emotionally repressed . . ."

"Cantankerous old flyboy."

"I did not say old," she corrected. "Okay, I did about you being a dirty old man." She tried to lighten the mood. "Because you were born a dirty old man and I love that part of you, especially when you talk dirty to me." She laughed.

"Trying too hard. I know the difference." He sniffed a breath and rolled his eyes.

"Oh." '_Well this is a self-defeating one-sided conversation.'_

"I am serious."

"Sorry. I just don't know what you're serious about." She sighed out.

"The fact that I am old." He looked away.

"This isn't about our becoming an Ancient in each other's space couple?"

"Not exactly." He rested his head on the wooden swing's back and exhaled through his lips. Sam knew that frustrated bluster all too well. She also knew to be patient. So she waited for him to collect his thoughts, without snooping.

"It's about the fact there's over a decade between us. Thirteen years eight months to be exact and—"

"I can count. I told you over eight years ago it wasn't an issue with me. Never has been. So why now?"

"Well, I'm eight years older and –"

"So am I. According to Loki you have the body of a thirty-five year old man. I mean, Jack internally, you're younger than me."

"Yes. Well. I don't buy that going Ancient younger body mumbo-jumbo. And my aching knees are proof and this gray hair." He tugged his short strands.

"And I love your knees and hair, my virile gray wolf!" Sam finger combed his short spiked hair.

"Ya're sure?"

"Why you doubting me now?" She nibbled her lip. "I love everything about you and wouldn't change anything. It's called being compatible and accepting each other for who and what we are."

"So why'd you get hung up on Pete . . .Oy! I didn't mean to—" He winced and shook his head. "We agreed no Pete or Kerry. Sorry." His face scrunched tighter.

"Because . . ." she cradled his face and turned his resistant brown gaze back to her. "Pete is everything you aren't, and actually what I'm not attracted to. In other words, you."

"Ow!" Jack flinched, but she forced him to look at her. "He's not taller than me or dark-haired, ruggedly handsome or a smart ass. He doesn't play with yoyos, Game Boys or kids, just because. True, he was proud of my accomplishments, but he never challenged me to exceed or come up with some cockamamie plan B to save the world with a five-minute window. And he rarely laughed at my jokes."

"Well, to be honest, Sam, even I don't laugh at all of your geek jokes. Teal'c's funnier." He snickered.

"Now that hurt." She feigned a scowl.

"Sorry. But geeks just can't tell jokes. But they do have their talents." His mood lightened a bit. "You were saying?"

"He never held me like this," she nuzzled his neck like he would. "Or offered me his shoulder to sleep on, even when he was hurting worse than I was, which was more often than not. And . . ."

"He didn't sit at my bedside every time I got injured for eight years running, and wait until I had at least awakened to find him there and only then, could I finally go back to sleep."

"Sam?" He tried to interrupt but she silenced him with a kiss and spoke against his open mouth. "Pete isn't the father of my firstborn daughter and son, the man who found me snookered at O'Malley's, after which I puked all over him . . . "

"You remember?"

"Hush! You bathed me and put me to bed and never took advantage of me, Jack."

"Not like I didn't think about it." He snorted and trailed a hand down her bare arm, giving her gooseflesh.

"I know. But the point is you didn't. You are an honorable man, Jack, and that is . . ."

"You saying, Pete's not honorable." He lifted a brow with a curious expression.

"No. I . . ." She glanced away. "Darn it, Jack, don't you realize I was drawn to Pete, because he wasn't you! Well, other than he's Irish, has a four letter name and is government employed."

"Oh, so you finally figured that out, huh?" he chided.

"Actually Cassandra pointed that out. More than once." She grimaced.

"So, you're okay with our age difference?"

"Argh! I'd like to know who put that stupid thought in your head and—Wait!"

"Huh?"

"Pete said something at O'Malley's?"

"Yes, well, let it go then."

"Let it go? You brought it up. You're the one with the problem, Jonathon."

"Look!" He eased out from under her and stood naked against the moonlight. "Yeah, I've got a problem. Because Dad, Mark and yes, Pete have rubbed it in my face since day one. Like it or not, Sam, we've got age issues."

"Issues? We sure do. First off, you will probably outlive Cassandra and me. Secondly, you know there were fifteen years between my parents. Thirdly, I'll soon be forty and I want your children, ASAP!"

"Ah, even if we clear up, your um, clogged cervix we can't do anything until after the transfers come through and we've gone legit with a marriage license, etc." He turned slightly and the moonlight caressed his muscular lean physique.

"I know." She sighed, closing her eyes in regret. Sam's maternal clock ticked faster than ever. She'd yet to tell Jack of the extent of those nightmares she still had of when Nirrti tore Cassandra out of her arms.

"You can still back out of this, Sam." He scrubbed both hands through his bed-head hair and turned away.

'_Are you nuts?'_ "Oh, for cryin' out loud! The only way that can happen is if one of us dies or has intercourse with another Ancient, which from what I can see is nearly impossible," she snorted.

"Could be arranged," he said dryly.

"You want out?" she asked stupefied, staring up at him.

"Hell no!" He bellowed, turned his back and leaned over the handrail shaking his head, which gave Sam a bird's eye view of his muscular taut butt. She sighed appreciation and was unprepared for his next statement.

"I just—look at me, Sam. Just what do you see in this old loser anyhow? I'm a fifty-ish gray haired—hairy man. Crap, I've got hair sprouting out my nose, ears, ass . . . which is what happens when one grows old!"

'Um, you don't have a hairy back or knuckles." She giggled. "And I'm so not complaining about your ass."

"Funny! Give 'em time. Want to yank some ear hairs for entertainment?"

"Only if it turns you on." She stared at the beautiful naked ranting hunk. Her hunk. Her husband who daily jogged, boxed, and since coming here, religiously swam laps in his icy pond and performed two hundred pushups every morning not to mention crunches. He'd no idea how good he looked. Yummy.

Her last remark made him expel a mouthful of expletives that warmed her ears. And then, except for the boombox playing a few feet away, peaceful silence and crickets.

"Finished?" She rested her chin on her raised knees and released an audible yawn of boredom.

"No!" He slammed his fist against the wood railing. "And will you stop being so fricking sweet and understanding."

"No." He was so pissed with himself. Oh, well. Life with Jack O'Neill had never been dull, and she didn't see that changing over the next fifty years. Fifty years! Wow, she hoped. Which made her smile wider. She just loved him more. Hugging the blanket around her, she knew Jack was cold. Not to mention John-John was almost at full attention. Jack got horny when he got mad. No revelation to Sam who smirked with sensual anticipation.

After another moment of brooding silence, she stood. The swing squeaked from her movement and the porch floorboards made a similar sound. Tenting the blanket around her shoulders, she wrapped her arms around his lean waist, pressed her face between his shoulder blades and reveled in the masculine feel and scent of him.

"You really are a cantankerous old coot. I personally think you're looking to fight just so we can makeup."

"You still here?" he sounded surprised, as she heard him sniff a breath.

"Always." She gently nipped his shoulder with her teeth, flicked her tongue and felt him shudder beneath her oral attention. "And I don't give a rat's butt if you turn into a hairy ape, I'm in this for the long haul. So get used to it."

He muttered a curse.

"Jack, do you realize that we've been part of each other's lives since I was four years old?"

She noted a slight affirmative shake of his steel-gray head. Well that was progress.

"We're talking almost thirty-five years, Hon," she spoke against his cool leathery skin. "God brought us together for a purpose. We've already seen a good share it unfold and I want to be with you no matter what adventures He's got planned for us."

"Forever Okay?" he asked hoarsely. After all they'd been through he remained insecure, doubting she could love him forever.

"Forever and for always," she choked out as her tears wet the tensed sinewy cords of his warm back.

"Yes, well, guess we got a date for life then." Jack turned in her arms and cradled her face, lifting it upward to his. Sam smiled when his sultry look searched hers out, looking for affirmation. With a nod, she pressed closer hoping he felt her reply in the undeniable swift beat of her heart against his muscle-toughened chest. His delicious hot breath fanned her face and revealed that her scent was still on his lips. A dizzying pleasure washed over her. That's when she saw the tears in his dark black eyes as the words of that Shania Twain sang had caught them off guard.

'_In your arms I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me I can stay right here forever in your arms'_

'_And there ain't no way—I'm lettin' you go now And there ain't no way— and there ain't not howI'll never see that day . . .'_

'_Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always We will be together all of our day Wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face—always'_

'_Mmmm, baby, In your heart—I can still hear a beat for every time you kiss me And when we're apart, I know how much you miss me I can feel your love for me in your heart'_

'_I wanna wake up every morning—'In your eyes—I can still see the look of the one who really loves me I can still feel the way that you want The one who wouldn't put anything else in the world above me I can still see love for me I can till see love for me in your eyes I still see the love' _

'_I'm keeping you forever and for always.'_

"I love you more than life, Carter." Jack's hungry lips prodded hers.

"I know, General. Now how about proving it?"

He did!

With Jack's gentle urging, Sam rolled onto her back and murmured, "Must blow up a sun, sir," then began to snore softly. He grinned and eased the blanket and sheet down to her thighs, revealing the towel he'd slipped beneath her.

Moonlight rippled across their bed and provided enough light to accomplish his task. He'd waited for the appropriate time and had practiced for three nights, sending her into the necessary deep sleep. Oh, he could have told her, but he'd not wanted her conscious, especially if he failed. No, that he couldn't bare. Having gone Ancient twice in his life had left Jack with certain abilities, not even Sam knew about. He'd soon realized that using these abilities were best done in secret.

For the moment he drank in Sam's beauty and let out a soft sigh of appreciation. He loved his wife so much. He'd yet to comprehend why she loved him. She was beautiful, intelligent and classy. While, he was—an old classic. Hum, was that a cliché? Returning to his task, Jack shifted into a kneeling position and waited to assure she remained asleep. Sam reached out and snatched his forearm. He froze as she nuzzled and smiled against his skin.

Dang! He needed both hands. _'Let go of my arm, Babe,' _he channeled into her deep state of REM. She obeyed and he shoved his pillow into her embrace. Another murmur and she stilled.

'_Sam?'_

'_Um?' _

'_Do you trust me?"_

"_Always.' _

'_Good. Now even if you feel pain, you must remain asleep until I wake you, okay?'_

'_Sure.' _

'_And when you do wake up, you won't remember this conversation or the pain.' _

'_Okay.' _

"Now, Jack, let's see if you can pull off this Ancient exploit." He closed his eyes and asked for Heaven's guidance. "Um, I'm pretty new at this, Lord, and can't do it without You. So guide my hands, please?"

Keeping his eyes shut, Jack gently skimmed his palms over Sam's abdomen, naval, and pelvic bone and then repeated the gesture. It took several attempts before he could see her internal clockwork in his mind's eye. Lucky, he wasn't squeamish. He halted when he realized he'd found her reproduction organs. Cool. Then he saw and actually felt the intrusion, Fifth's microscopic mesh that blocked her cervix.

Jack concentrated to make it liquefy and for her body to flush it out like a foreign object. A full thirty-five seconds past. He felt as if a dam broke inside of him, followed by a sharp ripping pain. Oow! He doubled over. '_So this is what menstrual cramps feel like? Crap! That hurts.' _

Sam whimpered and coiled into a fetal position rolling onto her side, gasping for air. Jack put his hand against her brow forcing her into deeper sleep. A minute later, she relaxed and her breathing returned normal.

Easing off the bed, he removed the blood soaked towel and made sure she was no longer bleeding. He spotted the minute alien gray object. Despite what Thor and Loki said, it looked similar to liquefied replicators cells. Jack shuddered and carried the towel outside and vaporized the contents with a zat.

He then returned and gently washed Sam, making sure there was no evidence of what he'd done. Jack slipped back into bed, drew her into his arms and returned her to normal REM. Sam stirred, rolled over yawning. Jack held his breath. He prayed he'd not hurt her or made matters worse. They'd know when she reported to Doctor Brightman for her scheduled appointment.

Drawing up his knees, Jack spooned with his wife, nuzzling the juncture of her neck and shoulder. He'd never known such fulfillment as he did right now and gave a prayer of thanks. God willing, they'd be parents, again. More important, Fifth no longer had a hold on Sam and, that was worth it!

Two days later:

It'd been two years since Sam had been here and then it'd been cold and blustery. It looked so different in late summer. Meanwhile, they'd not cast a fishing line once in Jack's pond but they had managed to make love everywhere possible, including the backyard of the cabin. And neither Fifth nor Replicarter dropped in. Meanwhile, they hiked the woods, meadows and hills while her guide proudly introduced to his heritage, three hundred acres of virgin forest and wildlife that had been in the O'Neill clan for over a hundred and twenty-five years. Needless to say, they made sure to bond with nature on these daily excursions.

With Teal'c and Daniel just minutes away via Teal'c's truck, Sam and Jack rushed out onto the pier and settled into their lawn chairs wanting it to appear they'd been fishing all morning. Jack's idea!

Nervously fumbling, he attempted to bait their hooks and pricked his finger instead. Sam snatched his injured digit and sucked down her husband's sweet salty blood.

"Hey, not so hard, you little vamp." He reclaimed his finger and sucked it himself.

"Relax," she teased brushing a kiss over his tension-creased brow.

Giving her the look, Jack proceeded to skewer another fat night crawler and eyeballed her suspiciously. "You did clean the ice cream out of the shower, right?"

"Yes, sir." She mocked a salute.

His brow puckered deeper. "And the whipping cream from the guest bedroom sheets and Jell-O, and oh, the mattress got scrubbed down in the spare loft bedroom?"

"Done!" She snorted. "Fresh sheets, sticky floor washed and the spaghetti sauce stains are scrubbed out from the spare mattress, but it still smells of garlic."

"Eew." Jack wrinkled his nose. "Hey, do I stink like a garlic clove?"

She leaned over and inhaled. "Yep. But, you're the one who wanted to dine Italian between the sheets. And thanks for all the help." She snorted.

"Think nothing of it." He chuckled then frowned. "Oy! I left the vibrator under the sofa." He gestured to get up. Sam snatched his wrist and tugged him back into his chair.

"Chill, General. You're 2IC has everything taken care of, including one burnt out vibrator that's in the bottom of the recycling bin."

"Oh. Um, sorry about that." He blushed beneath his tan and turned back to her. "But you're a hard woman to please."

"Yes, I am." She winked. "And don't you forget it."

"Never, Carter." He smirked suggestively back.

Sam liked that he still called her Carter, especially in the throes of orgasm. Some couples would insist on changing old habits, not them. They were comfortable with each other. Neither she nor Jack wanted to forget how their former working relationship had brought them to what they had become; one in heart, mind, body and soul.

Truck tires crunching on the gravel road resounded. Jack visibly gulped. He looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Hers! Still feeling the afterglow of their most recent lovemaking that ended twenty minutes ago in the shower, Sam skidded her chair around to face him.

"Whatcha doing, Carter?" he suspiciously glanced at her.

"Helping you chill, hon." She applied her massaging fingertips to his rigid shoulders and kneaded his muscles until her gaze settled on the blue diamond of her left hand, reminding her of their situation. "They know we're married and aren't breaking the regs, Jack."

"Yes. Well, we've been in situations like this before and they've backfired . . . I'm just saying." He rested his forehead against hers and sniffed.

"And you remember I love you forever, Jack O'Neill," she spoke softly against his lips. "No matter the situation."

Jack inhaled. Big mistake! Instant reaction due south on both their parts!

"Always." He quickly glanced around then planted a big, hot kiss on her open mouth that included a tongue dance.

A car door slammed! Then another!

'_Um, Jack, they're here!'_ she spoke in his head. Wow! Yes, they'd become true talking heads.

"Dang it, Carter!" He untangled himself from her warm embrace while she breathlessly repeated his little manta in her own head.

_Inhale. _

_Exhale. _

_Inhale._

"Reach into my left pant's pocket." He tipped his chin toward his crotch.

"Look, you dirty old man." Sam chided trying not to grin. "We've got company."

"Humor me."

Rolling her eyes she shoved her hand into his pocket and grinned at her find.

"Happy?" he smirked.

Sam opened her hand revealing the gold wrapped piece of Godiva dark chocolate.

"Delirious." She peeled off the wrapper, and popped the decadent aphrodisiac into her mouth and sighed.

"If you say it's better than sex, you're getting cut off." He warned, patting his shirt pockets for his shades. "And not just chocolate."

"Not to worry." Sam retrieved his sunglasses and handed them over.

"Thanks, Babe."

"Think nothing of it." They grinned at each other like two kids playing hokey. Sam set her chair next to his so their arms brushed. When Jack leaned against her, she smiled back. They'd barely been out of physical contact since Mark had left and that wasn't about to change.

Tasting the chocolate in her mouth, Sam couldn't resist. As she reached for her new emerald green fishing pole she stuck her chocolate drenched tongue between his lips.

"Umm . . . mm!" Her pole in hand, Jack tried to claim her mouth, but Sam pulled away and sat up in her chair, grinning.

"You're fricking evil, woman." His tongue flicked at some of the creamy confectionary that laced his lips.

"Nah, me?" She grinned and settled back in her chair.

"Yes, crap!" He gave over her rod and then stretched out his legs, sliding down the chair feigning a relaxed pose he didn't feel. He wasn't. He was horny. Again! "Why do we have to play cabin host and hostess to the guys?" he whined, adjusting his jeans.

"Because George insisted and well, you invited them."

"Yes. Um, next time I get warm and fuzzy family get-togethers brainstorms, slap me, Rosy!"

Sam snorted.

"No snorting." He glanced below his waist and ordered John-John at ease. He so wasn't listening.

"I heard that." Sam followed his discerning gaze and laughed.

Jack couldn't help but smirk. "Your fault. You and Lady Godiva."

"Yep." She winked. "And proud of it we are!" Folding her right leg over the left she expertly cast her new rod and glanced at him with a sultry look.

"Hey, where'd you learn that?" His jaw hung ajar.

"Dad taught me years ago."

"You've been holding out on me, Carter."

"Hardly." She snorted at his double meaning. "But I don't want to stop surprising you." She winked suggestively.

"You're evil, Mrs. O'Neill."

"You're redundant, _sir." _

"Funny," he groused and reeled in his line as he heard Teal'c and Daniel's voices, then drawled, "They're . . .back."

Jack's fishing line arched into the water and Sam sighed out, "This is great."

"I told ya!"

"I can't believe we didn't do it years ago." She reeled in her line slowly.

"Yes, well, let's not dwell." '_Hey, you talking about this fishing or our fishing?' _

Sam waggled her brows.

'_That's what I thought.'_ He smirked.

Daniel and Teal'c strolled up carrying a cooler box and individual folding chairs.

A large bass leaped out of the water!

Dumfounded, Sam looked at Jack. "Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"

Jack glanced at her and grinned. "Close enough."

She nodded with a sweet smile.

'_Besides, Dorothy, in this world I told you there are fish in my pond.'_

'Um, Scarecrow,_ do you ever think that another Jack and Sam set things right with the timeline and what happened to them?' _

'_Nope.'_ He sensed Daniel walking up behind them and purposely cast his line, grinning when Daniel ducked and muttered a curse. _'Coz, I figured like us, they've found their way home to each other.' _

'_Me too.' _

While Teal'c opened his chair and sat down beside the cooler, Daniel strolled onto the pier to join them. "So'd the old married couple catch anything worthwhile, yet?" He glanced at their empty fish pail and grinned.

"Yeah sure yabetcha," they replied in unison and then—

They kissed!

FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS—THE EVER, LOVING END . . . EXCELLENT! 

**"But hey, never ever, say never . . .I'm just saying . . ."**

Dear faithful readers:

This fic is not the end. There are many more WIP (stories in progress) covering Jack and Sam's first 8-10 years with SG-1 and other stories that will fall between **Forever And For Always** and the finale of the Chosen Hearts series. So please read **Basic Instincts **one of many futuristic stories in the Chosen Hearts series. Also watch for my opening S9 Fic of the Chosen Hearts series which is presently unnamed.

Oh, and watch for, **Never Say Never** a futuristic action packed adventure, and of course, romance novel set twelve years down the road that reunites SG-1 to save Earth and galaxy for the ump teenth time!

Yeah, Jack's back and ready to kick Nirrti and Kinsey Goa'uld's resurrected asses, not to mention Tanith's! Coz, no one, messes with Jack and Sam's kids! Oy!

Fifth's so not dead, and still obsessed with Sam. Did I mention the Wraith and Replicator contest for supremacy leaves Earth devastated and existing without twenty-first century technology? For cryin' outloud, will Jack and Sam ever lead normal, boring suburban lives? Not if I can help it. VBG

Jack hugs,

HailDorothy aka HDorothy


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